i thought it was about time i post a little introduction, share some things about me, and maybe keep a record of my wips and current fics in a somewhat organized way? my ao3 is getting a bit out of hand...
so hello! my name is maddie! pronouns are she/her and i'm currently 24 years old <3 you will see me yap A LOT about glee, formula 1, harry potter (the marauders specifically), baseball, and maybe some other things from time to time...i love to complain and analyze media by shouting into the void about shows from 20 years ago. i'm also a feral swiftie and read copious amounts of fanfiction. my biggest special interests at the moment are seblaine & niff, which is the inspiration for all of my fics.
note: no promises but i'm not opposed to prompts..feel free to send them in my askbox and i'll see what i can do!
my fics/wips/finished works!
find my ao3 here!
the slow burn series - a seblaine au where blaine stayed at dalton
How Bright We Burn - a retelling of season 3 where seblaine meet, become friends, then enemies, then fall in love
Brighter Than The Sun - follows seblaine through the summer between junior & senior year in ohio, paris, & saint-tropez
Until We Burn Out - a retelling of season 4 where seblaine are now dating and navigate warblers politics, competition with the new directions, and relationship troubles together (WIP)
Fragile Little Flames - jeff's retelling of the events of the series, specifically regarding his relationship with nick - not a necessary read for the series but has been one of my favorites to write
Sequel (Title TBA) - senior warblers POVs of their summer after high school, 7 chapters each from a different POV
Sequel (Title TBA) - follows seblaine and the warblers through the college years...tbd on what this will look like
one shots:
the things i do (when i picture you) - phone sex, infidelity, season 3 au, canon compliant?
kiss you anyway - warblers christmas party smut, season 3 au, infidelity
'til the veins run red and blue - canon compliant kinda ethereal fic where seblaine drive around together after a halloween party
If We Make It Through December - holidays future fic where seblaine run into each other at the airport on the way home for the holidays
as you kneel, i'll be watching you fix me - smut based on the i want you back scene from canon
11:11 - canon compliant fic where sebastian apologizes for slushygate, probably one of my favorite things i've ever written
The Way I Loved You - exes to lovers featuring background niff where seblaine reunite and hook up at thad's wedding
Champagne Supernova - crackfic where seblaine don't remember anything that happened the night before while drunk and have to retrace their steps to figure it out
invisible string - sebastian gets cheated on and tries to drown his sorrows when he runs into blaine at the bar
Paper Thin - enemies to lovers neighbors au where seblaine live in next door apartments
slipped away like a bottle of wine - season 3 au where blaine visits dalton to celebrate the warblers sectionals win and has a long and healing talk with sebastian
multichapter fics:
yours for the weekend - a tis the damn season songfic where seblaine have a tradition of hooking up at thanksgiving when blaine returns home to ohio (WIP)
something for my soul somewhere - a music & lyrics au where songwriter blaine & washed up popstar sebastian fall in love
Something More - a post-canon future fic where songwriter blaine's daughter befriends lawyer sebastian's niece at school
For Real This Time - my first seblaine fic! not my best work but it's basically a season 4 au where blaine reconnects with sebastian post breakup with kurt
future fics/unpublished wips:
a seblaine/warblers band au
a teachers au where seblaine are both teachers who work in adjacent classrooms and all the students ship them - this is a seblaine week 2025 wip!
a ta/student au where sebastian is the ta for one of blaine's classes at nyu
an infidelity au where season 3 happens the exact same but over time blaine does cheat on kurt with sebastian
a niff future fic where they never got to be in love bc nick couldn't get his shit together
many have suggested a harry potter seblaine au, so i'm thinking about this...would probably be drarry/dramione adjacent bc i think that fits the characters best
seblaine f1 rivals to lovers au
seblaine sex workers au
below the cut, i've written a non exhaustive list of some of my favorite things! i'm happy to yap about any of this literally ever!
favorite things!
shows:
i've watched most things but am super down to talk about the above fandoms as well as degrassi, shameless, grey's anatomy, gilmore girls, how i met your mother, one tree hill, brooklyn 99, new girl, modern family, greek, the cw arrowverse, bojack horseman, stranger things, suits, freaks & geeks, outer banks, heartstopper, young royals, bridgerton, the sex lives of college girls, pretty little liars, heartbreak high, scandal, school spirits, sex education, teen wolf, the summer i turned pretty, never have i ever, ginny & georgia, squid game, 13 reasons why, euphoria, this is us, tiny pretty things, 90210, nashville, big little lies, the fosters, parks & rec, and grand army. wow that's a crazy list lol. also happy to take show recs!!
movies:
impossible to list all of them but im a big fan of rom coms, biopics, and movies that make you feel extremely strong emotions, especially if gay. current favorites include:
All of Us Strangers
Dead Poets Society
High School Musical 2
Prisoner of Azkaban
Mamma Mia!
When Harry Met Sally
Barbie
Walk the Line
books:
again, way too many to choose just one favorite but here are some i can't stop reading and rereading:
Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
Love in the Big City by Sang Young Park
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
I Am Not Myself These Days by Josh Kilmer-Purcell
I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
Book Lovers by Emily Henry
In Memoriam by Alice Winn
Every Summer After by Carley Fortune
music:
love all these artists but i thought it'd be more fun to pick specific albums so here's that!
speak now (taylor's version) by taylor swift
melodrama by lorde
wishbone by conan gray
prelude to ecstasy by the last dinner party
the rise and fall of a midwest princess by chappell roan
the secret of us by gracie abrams
apocalypse whenever by bad suns
stranger in the alps by phoebe bridgers
the record by boygenius
rumours by fleetwood mac
bury me at makeout creek by mitski
superache by conan gray
emails i can't send by sabrina carpenter
stick season by noah kahan
young the giant by young the giant
the good witch by maisie peters
fuzzybrain by dayglow
being no one, going nowhere by strfkr
my head is an animal by of monsters and men
landmark by hippo campus
melophobia by cage the elephant
guts by olivia rodrigo
beginnings by girl in red
memoir of a sparklemuffin by suki waterhouse
how will you know if you never try by coin
when we were friends by the backseat lovers
hot fuss by the killers
i need to stop just listing music lmao but trust i could go on forever
resurfacing from the spring trenches to say it's SUMMER !!! happy summer :) have another long ass Tumblr post as a treat
I've selected a song that I think represents each of the main characters in my slow burn series (and some of the side characters too, because I couldn't help myself) as well as some lyrics from that song that best show off that song as a reflection of their character.
I'm happy to elaborate further, as always ;)
BLAINE ANDERSON: “mirrorball”Â
Hush, when no one is around, my dear
You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes
Spinnin' in my highest heels, love
Shinin' just for you
Hush, I know they said the end is near
But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes
Spinnin' in my highest heels, love
Shinin' just for you
And they called off the circus, burned the disco down
When they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns
I'm still on that tightrope
I'm still tryin' everything to get you laughing at me
And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why
I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try
I'm still on that trapeze
I'm still tryin' everything to keep you looking at me
SEBASTIAN SMYTHE: “Mastermind”Â
No one wanted to play with me as a little kid
So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since
To make them love me and make it seem effortless
This is the first time I've felt the need to confess
And I swear
I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian 'cause I care
So I told you none of it was accidentalÂ
And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me
I laid the groundwork and then saw a wide smirk
On your face, you knew the entire time
You knew that I'm a mastermind
And now you're mine
Yeah, all you did was smile
'Cause I'm a mastermind
JEFF STERLING: “Foolish One”Â
You know how to keep me waiting, I know how to act like I'm fine
Don't know what to call this situation, but I know I can't call you mine
And it's delicate, but I will do my best to seem bulletproof
'Cause when my head is on your shoulder, it starts thinking you'll come around
And maybe someday when we're older, this is something we'll laugh about
Over coffee every morning while you're watching the news
But then the voices say, "You are not the exception
You will never learn your lesson"Â
Foolish one, stop checking your mailbox
For confessions of love that ain't never gonna come
You will take the long way, you will take the long way down
Foolish one, stop checking your mailbox
For confessions of love that ain't never gonna come
You will learn the hard way instead of just walkin' out
NICK DUVAL: “Anti-Hero”
Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism
Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)
I wake up screaming from dreaming
One day, I'll watch as you're leaving
And life will lose all its meaning
(For the last time)
It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)
At tea time, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero
ETHAN MOORE: “Down Bad”
Now I'm down bad crying at the gym
Everything comes out teenage petulance
"What if I can't have him"
"I might just die, it would make no difference."
Down bad, waking up in blood
Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up
What if I can't have us.
I might just not get up
I might stay down bad
TRENT NIXON: “I Hate It Here”Â
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
I hate it here so I will go to
Secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears
I'm there most of the year
Cause I hate it here
I hate it here
MEATBOX: “22”
Yeah
We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time
It's miserable and magical
Oh, yeah
Tonight's the night when we forget about the deadlines
It's time
Uh oh!
I don't know about you
But I'm feeling 22
Everything will be alright
If you keep me next to you
You don't know about me
But I'll bet you want to
Everything will be alright
If we just keep dancing like we're
22, ooh-ooh
22, ooh-ooh
HUNTER CLARINGTON: “CANCELLED!”
Good thing I like my friends cancelled
I like 'em cloaked in Gucci and in scandal
Like my whiskey sour
And poison thorny flowers
Welcome to my underworld
Where it gets quite dark
At least you know exactly who your friends are
They're the ones with matching scars
EMMA DRAYTON: “The Bolter”Â
He was a cad, wanted her bad
Just like any good trophy hunter
And she likes the way it tastes
Taming a bear, making him care
Watching him jump then pulling him under
And at first blush, this is fate
When it's all roses, portrait poses
Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats
What a charming Saturday
That's when she sees the littlest leaks
Down in the floorboards
And she just knowsÂ
She must bolt
HATTIE GRISWOLD: “Bejeweled”
Sapphire tears on my face
Sadness became my whole sky
But some guy said my aura's moonstone
Just 'cause he was high
And we're dancin' all night
And you can try to change my mind
But you might have to wait in line
What's a girl gonna do?
A diamond's gotta shine
Best believe I'm still bejeweled
When I walk in the room
I can still make the whole place shimmer
And when I meet the band
They ask, "Do you have a man?"
I can still say, "I don't remember"
Familiarity breeds contempt
Don't put me in the basement
When I want the penthouse of your heart
Diamonds in my eyes
I polish up real, I polish up real nice
JAMES PARK: “Sweet Nothing”Â
Industry disrupters and soul deconstructors
And smooth-talking hucksters
Out glad-handing each other
And the voices that implore
"You should be doing more"
To you I can admit
That I'm just too soft for all of it
Ooh
They said the end is coming
Everyone's up to something
I find myself running home to your
Sweet nothings
Outside, they're push and shoving
You're in the kitchen humming
All that you ever wanted from me was
Sweet nothing
DYLAN REDMOND: “Fifteen”Â
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had
To a boy who changed his mind
And we both cried
'Cause when you're fifteen
And somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Don't forget to look before you fall
But I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be
At fifteen
PRESTON MOORE: “this is me trying”
Pulled the car off the road to the lookout
Could've followed my fears all the way down
And maybe I don't quite know what to say
But I'm here in your doorway
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
They told me all of my cages were mentalÂ
So I got wasted like all my potential
And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad
I have a lot of regrets about that
I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere
Fell behind all my classmates, and I ended up here
Pouring out my heart to a stranger
But I didn't pour the whiskey
JUNE STERLING: “Slut!”Â
Got love-struck, went straight to my head
Got lovesick all over my bed
Love to think you'll never forget
Handprints in wet cement
Adorned with smoke on my clothes
Lovelorn and nobody knows
Love thorns all over this rose
I'll pay the price, you won'tÂ
So... i was just going through twitter (or X), minding my business and i just saw someone talking about a TV Show and joking that two male characters of that were having a "slut off" and my mind went straight to Seblaine, bc in my mind they could easily fit into that lol. Yeah, maybe this is a weird ask, but i keeded to get this out of me lol.
Also, just so you know, when i think about your college sequels, the idea of Seblaine being slutty in New York is really appealing to me lol.
haha yeah that is a very seblaine term tbh! I love to embrace their slut eras tbh, and I think a lot of people can really benefit from having a slut era while for others it can pretty irreparably ruin their lives and that's a fun dynamic to explore! trust me the slut eras will continue during college in new and bigger ways <3
also, I do have a lot of the college era outlined (in excruciating detail for seblaine's freshman year) and "seblaine are competing in a slut off" could 100% be a tag to represent the second semester of their freshman year ;)
Heyyy, it’s me again, I loved the Midnights post (don’t worry, i know you're busy and it takes a bit to get into your asks)
I think you wrote a nod towards Maroon in the summer fic before senior year, where Seblaine wakes up on the floor in a party before Seb goes to France.
Now, let's see... for next... tell me about what songs from the Red album, including the deluxe and vault tracks (basically Taylor's version), you think fit Seblaine and Niff (as individuals or about their relationships)?
Even though Red is a breakup album, and i'm pretty sure Seblaine and Niff are endgame in your universe all the way, i think the sentiment of breakup songs can resonate in times where their relationships are in a crisis. And Seblaine did breakup at least once in your universe. (Niff watch your backs, she’s coming for you lol)
Also, i need to point out that Red is THE Seblaine color lmao.
Yay glad you enjoyed it! Haha it wouldn't take me so long to get to my asks if I held myself back from yapping so much, but alas I apparently love to hear the sound of my own voice (or rather typing?) so nevertheless she persisted.
Red is THE Taylor album for me, and I think it's because it's one of the most universally beloved of her albums while clearly being one of her personal favorites as well. I think that's because it's like you said, the songs can really resonate with all different stages of a relationship. This is an album that follows one of the best breakup songs of all time in my opinion (All Too Well) with the upbeat pop classic 22, all while fitting into this perfectly curated Taylor Swift millennial aesthetic? Like, that era is truly just pop girl perfection and I think my favorite album rollout of all time (other than maybe reputation) is the rollout of Red TV.
also yeah, seblaine is red tbh...goes with all the burning metaphors I constantly use ;)
Here is my breakdown of Red songs that I think fit them/the other warblers and ships I write for well!
State of Grace - I kind of see this song as encompassing the idea of love and romance in general. This is one of my all time favorite Taylor songs, and I think that's because A) it fucking rocks and B) it really does encompass so many feelings all at once. I love that repetition of "I never saw you coming and I'll never be the same" because I really think that could fit soooo many relationship arcs. I mean, it fits seblaine - Sebastian quite literally came out of nowhere for Blaine and changed his life. Nick and Jeff are the same. And there's so much in this song about those first sparks, and then the pain throughout the relationship and the absolute joy that comes with it too...I just genuinely think this is a perfect song and 100% Taylor's best ever opening track. It sums up the album so flawlessly. "This is the worthwhile fight/ love is a ruthless game / unless you play it good and right" like yeah !! it is like that!! and especially because I love writing angst, I love this idea that like something can be good and bad and toxic and wholesome and the word that sums it up really is that it's ruthless, for better or for worse. I love the imagery of mosaic broken hearts and the hands of fate, and I love the second verse with "we are alone, just you and me / up in your room and our slates are clean / just twin fire signs, four blue eyes", like it really is such clear imagery to me of like young love and really feeling like you've found your person through all the ups and downs. I'll stop yapping haha idk if this even makes sense.Â
Red - I think this one is a seblaine song to me (aren't they all somehow?) because once again it's very much about the ups and downs and just constant chaos in a relationship where ultimately the overarching feeling is burning red. I am pretty fond of fire/burning/flames etc metaphors as I'm sure you can tell haha and this song is a perfect example of that. I really do see seblaine as being something that burns, and that idea of burning for someone else and burning so bright that everyone else has to watch is so them. "Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you" very much gives that slow burn feeling of finally getting together after all this time of pining and not realizing how badly you wanted it, and "regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong" feels so them, like during the breakup era of almost regretting you ever gave the relationship a chance because now you know how good it can be and it's gone. I also think there's a lot of like, queer coded lines in songs about colors for Taylor, and this is another example where like this person helps you see all these colors you didn't see before, and that can be good feelings and bad ones but either way you're experiencing things you've never felt. I think in that way, it also applies to Nick and Jeff, because Nick I think experiences pretty much everything for the first time through Jeff, who really opens him up to what it means to love, and all the highs and lows that come along with that.
Treacherous - ok come on "put your lips close to mine as long as they don't touch" is so seblaine also like...their entire relationship before they get together is so driven by physical closeness and temptation and getting pulled in despite trying to get away from it and push it away. This whole song to me is about how dangerous yet thrilling it feels to fall for someone, especially someone you shouldn't. "I can't decide if it's a choice / getting swept away" is so seblaine to me...I don't think either of them really would've chosen this given the chaos it caused, but they both were so tempted by it anyway. The bridge in this song is so good and I often kinda forget about it because...tbh I find the chorus kinda boring lol but the bridge is immaculate. The sound of it really does just feel like falling in love and deciding to let yourself fall into it. It could also be niff for that reason, Nick finally giving up the urge to run and letting himself fall even if it's dangerous. It doesn't fit quite as well but I do see the vision!Â
I Knew You Were Trouble - I mean yeah...also seblaine I fear...I 100% think this works from Blaine's POV. In my own verse as well as just in canon I think Blaine clocks Sebastian as being bad news in his life pretty much immediately. He chooses to go along with it anyway because the temptation is just so strong, and I think this song can kinda exist as this anthem for when he gets burned and is like I saw this coming so why on earth did I let it happen anyway? Obviously it works out for the best, but there is a lot of turmoil in the meantime. this is lowk my least favorite red song i wasn't even gonna include it but I listened to the full album as I was writing this and couldn't possibly think of a reasonable justification for it not being so clearly a seblaine song hahaÂ
All Too Well - i hate to say this lol but this is college era niff to me <3 i will not be explaining...but there's a reason why I wouldn't chose the 10 minute version and just keep it at this one. I think the 10 minute version touches on more about the age gap and power dynamics and toxic relationships and this version is a little bit more like...just a really fucking hard breakup song.Â
I Almost Do - this is one of THE niff college era songs to me! The verses are all giving the vibe of like I know you so well even now that I can picture exactly what you're doing and exactly what you're thinking about and you really are my person, and then the next step of imagining what their reaction would be if you just picked up the phone and called. I think this song is more from the perspective of Jeff than Nick, and I don't want to get into too many details and risk spoiling, but it very much is this vibe of like, I don't want to make things worse and even more painful than they already are by calling or reconnecting in any way, like that will just rip the wound open all over again before it's even had the chance to heal. But even knowing that and how painful it would be to call and that it wouldn't be the best thing, the temptation is always there to do it anyway because they really do love each other so much that they just yearn to talk. Niff is the epitome of constantly doing things that are painful for them just because they can't stand the idea of being apart, even if being apart is the right thing. Like, through all the shit they put each other through during junior and especially senior year, they never break up, because no matter how hard it is to be together, they would always rather suffer together than be happy apart. And I think this song comes down to the idea of like, "I wish you knew how much I want to talk to you, but if I told you how much I want to talk, it would just ruin everything all over again."  Like, I want it just as bad as you do, but I'm trying to be brave and hold off so we don't hurt each other again. And there are elements of this song in the summer too, in Nick's POV of him being like what would Jeff do if I asked him to stay? and in Jeff's POV him thinking I would stay if Nick asked one more time, I would give up Princeton and everything just to stay here so I hope he doesn't ask. But they both ALMOST ask. I love this song so much ugh if you want to get into the vibe of what Nick and Jeff's college era will feel like, I can't lie this is like THE perfect song for it.Â
The Last Time - I can't really explain why, but this song has always felt so seblaine to me. I think I just became obsessed with this song around the same time that I became obsessed with seblaine, so I probably wrote a lot of seblaine while listening to it. I think this idea of "put my name at the top of your list" and like begging for someone to acknowledge you finally and love you and stuff...idk I think that vibe is kinda seblaine, with how they got together being very much Sebastian kinda pining in secret for a while and wanting to be Blaine's person but not getting chosen over Kurt or whatever. But honestly, as I'm relistening to it, I think this song fits Niff even better. I think this fits that vibe of Jeff confessing his feelings and always being the one to want and yearn and then finally being like,, look this is the last time I'm going to be vulnerable and open up to you about all my feelings and how much I love you and the last time I'm going to let myself be physically intimate with you in any way unless you tell me right now that you feel all of this too. Like, I think this is a cry for help for some kind of acknowledgement and recognition from a partner, and the begging for affection really feels like Jeff to me.
Everything Has Changed - this song is my trent + james playlist (which currently only has like three songs on it rip) because it feels like young love to me and this just pure and innocent feeling of falling in love with a friend and slowly realizing you love them...idk it's just a very wholesome and sweet one and that is what they are to me too!
Starlight - I had an intrusive thought at one point about writing a one shot where Sebastian and Blaine sneak into a fancy yacht club type party together lol and ever since then this song has felt like them to me! but yeah that's the main reason why it's seblaine to me...there's no real explanation. I do have an OC in one of the college era fics that's VERY Kennedy coded though lol like comes from my fictional version of the Kennedy family, and the imagery of that is pretty prevalent in this song. It'll be obvious who it is the second you meet him :)
Begin Again - this song really is that vibe of healing from another relationship and meeting someone else who really heals the parts of you that were broken by that. I like the idea of like he laughs at things your ex never thought were funny, stuff like that, and that's really seblaine to me! I think Blaine is really broken by his relationship with Kurt and how toxic it all became, and sure there are aspects of seblaine that are just as toxic, but there are parts that are so much better too, like him cheering Blaine on in performances and stuff, and I love the imagery of like talking about your families and Christmas and stuff and feeling like you don't have to dwell on the breakup anymore because there is this new fresh thing that's happy and nice.Â
Come Back...Be Here - i hate to say it because it's devastating but this is another one that is like, THE niff college era song to me. I mean, this is just a long distance anthem to me, an absolutely perfect song that perfectly captures that feeling of you're just so far away and I miss you so much and I don't want to miss you or be far away but this is just how things are, as well as the yearning to just tell them you want them there, even though it won't change anything. I mean, there is literally a scene in the summer fic in Jeff's chapter that's like the exact vibe of "Stumbled through the long goodbye / one last kiss kiss, then catch your flight" and Jeff's experience of being at Princeton is literally "taxi cabs and busy streets / they never bring you back to me / i can't help but wish you took me with you", especially after the fall break when Nick visits him at school. And "But you're in London, and I break down / 'cause it's not fair that you're not around"...yeah long distance pain is so strong with this one. In my head, this song is niff's freshman year of college, and "I Almost Do" is niff's sophomore year.
Nothing New - it's a bit of a stretch in some ways because this song is so inherently about stardom and womanhood to me, but I think this is a Blaine song! I do think he has that fear that he has to be great otherwise the world will forget about him, and I think it's very likely that after being like the star at Dalton he's in for a bit of an awakening when he enters the real world and has this panic that he's nothing new or original or unique and really has to reinvent himself to be something in the industry. And I think he has this fear with Sebastian too that one day he will get bored and want something fresh and new, and it's not a thought he has often yet it's always there way in the back of his mind, this fear that he will leave him because he decides he's not enough or something. And I think Jeff kinda struggles with this thought too of like, are you only into me because it's fun and exciting and the second we settle into it will it become old and boring and you'll move on? All of them kinda have this moment in college or in the anticipation for college that's like, will this person leave me behind when they see what the rest of the world has to offer? Nick probably struggles with it the most tbh, the idea that maybe Jeff will meet smarter people who are more like him in college, and then he'll forget all about Nick. Anyway, this song is devastating.Â
Babe - i can't talk about it too much lol but...this is a college niff song lol...like, the bridge?? "Since you admitted it, I keep picturing / her lips on your neck, I can't unsee it / I hate that because of you, I can't love you, babe" yeah...
 Forever Winter - this is actually very much an Ethan song to me lol, mostly because I think he just has like,, a lot of mentally ill people in his life? Like people just experiencing this like, huge amount of depression, and it's something he really struggles with as well, trying to help them through that and experiencing just really deep empathy for them. This song doesn't even have to be about a romantic relationship for me, in fact it's always reminded me more of my relationship with my brother and stuff? And I think this idea of like I'll be the sun for you, I'll be bright when you're not, etc. is just really relatable. Anyway, could be Ethan's song related to Preston or June tbh! we don't get to see him as much during the college era, but definitely in his chapter of the summer fic which is one of the longest chapters, and we'll see hints of him throughout as well!Â
Anyway, that's all I have for now! Go stream "State of Grace" or else <3
So, i've seen that you like Taylor Swift AND Seblaine/Niff, so i was like... YESSSS, THAT WHAT GOOD TASTE LOOKS LIKE. So, i would like to yap with you about them from time to time.
I have a question: What songs from Midnights (including the 3am songs, Hits Different and You're Losing Me) fit Seblaine or Niff or both for the same song?
I'll chime in from time to time to ask about different albums, so we can yap for a long time!
Have a great day!
indeed I am a huge Taylor fan !! and seblaine/niff of course <3 ahhh it's the best to find others who have common interests, thank you for sending the ask!! I would also always love to yap about them, even if it does sometimes take me forever to reply to asks.
and I love midnights! I'll go through the whole album and sort of say any songs that I can kinda see working for these ships/characters! there might be more that I just don't see but these are my thoughts for now :)
Lavender Haze - this one is a very seblaine song to me! I kinda see them as a ship that's not really interested in fitting into your conventional idea of what a relationship is, and I think this song really touches on that idea! It's also this idea of both of them kinda experiencing a lot of noise elsewhere in their lives, and they're kind of this safe place away from all of that.
Maroon - this song immediately made me think of seblaine when it came out and I'm ngl I think the main reason is because I've always had this really specific vision in my head of seblaine sitting on the floor drinking red wine together? like in the Dalton dorms together? I think the vision comes from Sebastian asking advice on how to get red wine out of his blazer or whatever, but I also just think the visuals of the song in general are so distinct and very core to who seblaine are as individuals and as a couple!
Anti-Hero - I think this song could genuinely fit all four characters, but it's also a VERY Sebastian song to me! Like, I think he's aware he's the problem and that probably everyone else knows too, but it's also this like intrinsic part of him he can't get rid of? Like he just makes these huge mistakes or spiteful decisions and hurts people without thinking, and it's just a lot. But I also think it can fit Jeff in the sense that he's very insecure that he is the problem, everyone's talking about him behind his back, no one really wants him around, etc. I think those are for sure the two characters it fits the most!
You're On Your Own, Kid - this is a Sebastian song to me, specifically with the backstory I've written for him in the How Bright We Burn series! He pretty much exactly uses the sentiment of "I didn't choose this town, I dream of getting out / There's just one who could make me stay" in the letter he writes to Blaine in Until We Burn Out - he doesn't want to be in Ohio, but upon meeting Blaine he pretty much immediately realizes this person is someone worth spending time with that can dull the pain of having to be here. Also "I search the party of better bodies / Just to learn that you never cared" is very representative of Sebastian's backstory, though I will not be elaborating! And just the sentiment of "you're on your own, kid" is very real for him, as a kid who often was on his own with parents who treated him like an adult and left him on his own at a very young age.
Midnight Rain - yeah love this song it makes some great edits! This is also very seblaine to me, obviously with Blaine being sunshine and Sebastian being midnight rain, etc. This song just very much gets the idea of one person being the relationship, falling in love type while the other is driven by their own success. And it honestly might fit Nick and Jeff even more in that way because Jeff is very much driven by his future, education, etc. whereas Nick's kinda at the point where the only thing he knows for sure about his future is that he wants Jeff in it.
Question...? - this is another one that immediately made me think of seblaine when it came out! "You painted all my nights a color I've searched for since" evokes strong imagery for me, and it's also a very queer coded line...I think it actually fits Niff more than Seblaine, but for Seblaine it's this idea that the bond they have and this like electricity between them is unlike anything they've experienced with anyone else. With Niff, it's much more the queer coded element of Nick reflecting on how he's never experienced the feelings that he experiences with Jeff with anyone else. Also, both couples have experienced the vibes of all their friends making fun of them and then later cheering for them when kissing in a crowded room lol, very distinct visual there. I see this as very senior year Seblaine during the breakup era or college era Niff :)
Bejeweled - ngl this song is very Jeff during the jeffbastian era haha like this was really his moment to shine and feel like a person again after lowk being taken advantage of by nick for a very long time.
Labyrinth - I don't really have a lot to say about this one other than that to me it kinda feels like Sebastian's POV of the breakup era with Blaine!
sweet nothing - I think this song could fit any ship pretty easily, but I think this is domestic era seblaine, once they really are happy together and come home together at the end of every night :) I love the bit that's like "On the way home, I wrote a poem / you say 'what a mind' / this happens all the time" because I think that's such a sweet visual, but I also see this as very seblaine, with both of them being interested in writing in different ways.
mastermind - I mean yeah Sebastian 100% masterminded getting together with Blaine lol
The Great War - this for me fits seblaine finding their way back together after the breakup, but it also fits a college era niff storyline for me! it is in my college niff playlist haha
Paris - I love this idea of a relationship feeling like you could be anywhere or like you're having these grand adventures when all you're doing is sitting in your living room or driving around the suburbs together, and that's a very Seblaine idea to me. I've written several little fics where they do exactly this, and I think the idea will continue for me long into the future! Although I also think there's a literal interpretation with Paris being one of Sebastian's favorite places in the world and really wanting it to be a place he can share with Blaine.
High Infidelity - This one is complicated haha but...to some extent this is college era niff...I should not say more about that but it is on my college niff playlist <3 I think it can also fit seblaine a little bit, since they have certainly had their fair share of borderline infidelity and fears the other is cheating, etc. But when I first heard the song I definitely was picturing an au where Blaine cheats on Kurt with Sebastian !! and I do think the early days of seblaine in How Bright We Burn work for that as well...the incident when Blaine and Sebastian get high together and fall asleep in the same bed while Blaine is still dating Kurt could very much be the April 29th from the song.
Glitch - This song really fits that friends to lovers idea to me of like, we were just supposed to be friends and I've done everything I can to try to avoid you and avoid it becoming something more but I just can't help it, and that idea is VERY seblaine!
Would've, Could've, Should've - yeah I fear this fits Sebastian's backstory extremely well rip to this man <3 But all the obvious imagery of like a child who was taken advantage of too young and hurt by an older man (which is very much an idea that fits Sebastian's past), there is also A LOT of religious imagery that fits Nick's storyline as well as his relationship with religion and his own sexuality. The line that stands out to me is "The God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven" because like, despite how painful it was to know he wanted Jeff and that he wasn't straight and was thus a disappointment to his family, it felt so good whenever the two of them were together. I think there's something to be said about Nick missing this idea of the kid he used to be before he even met Jeff, when he used to be able to pretend that he was straight and exactly what his parents wanted him to be. The chorus of the song can almost feel like a mantra to himself, holding this grudge against Jeff for being the one to make him realize he wasn't straight and thus wasn't what he wanted to be.
Hits Different - this one is very seblaine breakup, and even more so it's very college niff to me! I think losing the person you considered to be your best friend and the closest person to you in so many ways is devastating, and I love this idea that breakups always hurt but it hits different because it's this person who means more than everyone else. And like the first verse is very fitting of Jeff's college arc and the separation from Nick, specifically with the lyrics "I washed my hands of us at the club / You made a mess of me / I pictured you with other girls in love / Then threw up on the street" like...it's almost crazy how closely it fits what I've written for them but haven't shared yet! And the second verse that's like I used to move on easily, never really fell in love, etc. is very Sebastian post break up with Blaine to me...he's never been the type to just be devastated by a break up before. I also think Sebastian is 100% an argumentative, antithetical dream girl haha
okay that was a lot !! hopefully it was worth the wait lol I really love questions like these and had a lot of fun with it, thank you for sending it!! <3
Not a question, just here to say that given your Heated Rivalry obsession, it wouldn’t surprise me if you have one or two OCs of yours from the HBWB-verse sequels have tha appearance of the actors of that show lol.
P.S: you said that you picture Arón Piper being Ethan, and like, now it’s easier to picture him on my reads and it’s like perfect, same for your other ones. Dylan as well, he is Justice Smith to me and it is so fun!!!
Haha yeah Heated Rivalry has very much taken over my life, as it has for most people right now it seems! I honestly haven't thought much about this! The OCs from the series so far are so distinct to me, but future OCs (with the exception of one or two) are a little foggy. I was thinking Hudson Williams might fit one character that I've been toying around with, but I'm not ready to commit to anything yet! This is very fun haha thank you for the ask :)
I'm back with another essay style post about the characters from my fics! I'm a very character focused writer, and the messy, beautiful, devastating flaws of my characters are always the driving force behind the conflict in my stories. I was discussing the latest Until We Burn Out chapter with my fav @crochetcardigan, and we got into a pretty deep conversation about what influenced each character to behave the way they did, how they likely processed these interactions on their own, etc. I love to consider how these characters' flaws influence their relationships with others, and the idea spiraled from there.
This post is about each of the core seven Warblers' "fatal flaws". Rather than just a simple bad trait, I think of a fatal flaw as a survival mechanism that quickly turns into an obstacle. These are the things that keep them from the happiness and the relationships they're looking for, thus driving the plot forward. So, without further ado, here are my thoughts on each of the characters' fatal flaws!
Warning: Spoilers for every fic in the slow burn series through chapter 29 of Until We Burn Out, as well as some teasers for the upcoming summer and college era fics.
Sebastian: Avoidance
“Pretend you’re better than me all you want. But at least I’m not afraid of being hurt if it means I have a chance at something real.” -Jeff to Sebastian in chapter 13 of Fragile Little Flames
Sebastian is very emotionally dismissive and flippant, downplaying feelings (both his own and others') so he doesn't have to deal with them. Sebastian's whole thing is that he acts like nothing matters so he never has to admit when something does. My main inspiration for this was the line in canon when he says, "Everything's fun and games until it's not." I think that genuinely is how Sebastian views the world. He's built up this huge wall where he refuses to deal with any and all emotions and relationships that could possibly hurt him. This results in him also treating others pretty horribly sometimes, acting out of instinct instead of care.
I think this is something we see throughout all three installations of HBWB so far with some pretty big moments in each of the stories. In How Bright We Burn, he reveals the New Directions' setlist to the Warblers against Blaine's judgement, stages a coup that kinda forces Blaine's hand with the scrimmage debacle, and then when Blaine and Kurt break up, he immediately becomes emotionally unavailable to Blaine, dismissing his feelings in favor of mindless sexual gratification.
In Brighter Than the Sun, he's dating Blaine yet still often dismissive and distant whenever they speak on the phone while he's in Paris, then he gets mad and tries to redirect the conversation to Blaine's flaws whenever Blaine attempts to confront him about his past and treatment of others.
In Until We Burn Out, he gets defensive whenever Blaine attempts to have serious conversations and breaks up with Blaine following a major fight because he assumes that's the direction it's going anyway. I think he's come a long way with Blaine, but he's not really there yet in most of the other aspects of his life. The recent fight with Nick demonstrates how he pretty carelessly jokes about Nick and Jeff's sex life and, instead of apologizing when Nick says it makes him uncomfortable, he doubles down and gets defensive about it, trying to blow it all off as harmless jokes. I do think he demonstrates more maturity and an attempt to move past this flaw toward the end of chapter 29 when he tries to form a truce with Nick, but it's definitely not everything it needs to be, and I think this flaw will only continue to negatively impact his life and the lives of those around him as we continue in the series.
In the upcoming summer after high school fic, there is a chapter from Sebastian's POV that explores this in a lot more detail when Sebastian reacts to some big feelings he can't quite process by treating Blaine,, pretty horribly lol, and that causes a bit of an identity crisis for him where he has to think about why he's doing these things that hurt the person he loves the most. Similarly, during his freshman year of college, there is something that happens where he pretty carelessly does something that impacts his friendship with Jeff and has a really big emotional impact on Jeff, which causes a bit of a crisis as well...why is he so okay with so flippantly disregarding the emotions of the people closest to him? And how does he overcome that? I could write essays upon essays about the way I like to characterize Sebastian so...yeah more to come of that :)Â Â
Blaine - Self-Centered Idealism
"You’re just as bad as he is. Worse, maybe, because you pretend to be better." -Dylan to Blaine, chapter 16 of Until We Burn Out
It's kind of funny because he IS the main character, and that's for good reason in my opinion, but he has a MAJOR case of main character syndrome. I think Blaine is a character with good intentions, but he filters everything through his own feelings. He tends to think he's being selfless while quietly making everything about him, and efforts to help his friends or Sebastian are often guided by what he would want if he was in their situation rather than what's in their best interest or what they want. I think this is evident in canon throughout all of Blaine's forms, like how he acts as this savior/mentor for Kurt and frames Kurt's experiences with bullying through his own...that's not to say it isn't helpful because I really do think it is, but this is the first instance of Blaine sort of framing others' experiences through his own, and I think that becomes destructive in other aspects of his life later on. It's also obvious when Blaine performs "It's Not Right But It's Okay" in season 3 which again is kinda justified imo but still an instance of Blaine channeling his own hurt and reaction rather than trying to understand why Kurt's been doing what he's doing. In season 4, he cheats because he feels lonely and insecure, and he frames the decision around how he feels neglected in the relationship. His emotions are often so big to him that they can pretty easily result in justifying bad decisions, such as when he transfers (or almost transfers in my universe) to McKinley to be with Kurt.
This is really emphasized in the HBWB verse via his friendships and relationship with Sebastian. In How Bright We Burn, he often disregards the fact that Sebastian clearly has feelings for him and sort of just strings him along for a long time while he's still dating Kurt, kinda making the entire thing to be about how Sebastian is flirting with him and trying to lead him astray while he has a boyfriend. He disregards that he's playing into it just as much as Sebastian is. When Sebastian and Jeff are hooking up during this era, Blaine never really stops to consider what emotional reasons could've led them to that situation and rather views the entire thing through his own jealousy, convincing himself Sebastian's doing it to make him jealous and that he's toying with Jeff in the same way Blaine felt like Sebastian was toying with him. In his friendships, HBWB consists of Blaine frequently turning to Kurt/the New Directions when he feels excluded or misunderstood by the Warblers instead of considering how they must feel with him so frequently prioritizing this relationship over their success.
In Brighter Than the Sun, Blaine ends up fighting with Sebastian over his past with Lukas, Jeff, etc. because he doesn't like the judgement he's experiencing from Dylan for dating someone who treated others so carelessly, and he acts out of his own insecurities that he doesn't mean anything to Sebastian rather than considering the emotional differences between the two of them...again, I don't really think Blaine is in the wrong in this situation, but it is an instance of him framing everything through his own emotions rather than putting himself in someone else's shoes. He also jumps to the conclusion that Sebastian doesn't love him or at least not enough to say those words rather than considering the reason why Sebastian might be uncomfortable with those words specifically, which is a thread that continues throughout Until We Burn Out.
There are many instances of this in UWBO, like too many to name, but one of the biggest ones is when he finds out about Sebastian's Juilliard audition that he didn't tell Blaine about. He assumes Sebastian must have some malicious reason for keeping secrets from him and bottles it up until he explodes, all because his own emotions and insecurities lead him to assumes the worst instead of just talking to Sebastian about it, which happens with several other fights in this fic. Later on, he kinda uses Dylan as a distraction from the breakup + method of provoking jealousy from Sebastian + self destruction without considering how that could emotionally destroy someone who's had feelings for him for a long time. And even in his friendships, I think the fight with Trent toward the beginning is a big indicator that Blaine tends to think of what he would want rather than what Trent himself wants, which is why he meddles a bit in the James situation rather than talking to Trent first. I do think this is something Blaine is working on and will continue to improve over the years, but it's a pretty core aspect of his personality for now! Â
Jeff: Self-Sacrificing
“Yeah, Jeff, it’s fucking pathetic. You’re pretending that you’re best friends again, but you haven’t talked about shit, and you’ll let him burn down your whole fucking life before you make him talk about it. You deserve better than that.” -Sebastian to Jeff, chapter 13 of Fragile Little Flames
This man is my son and I will protect him with my life so it took me a long time to figure out exactly what his biggest flaw is. But after a lot of thinking, I decided that it's sort of a combination of things that all add up to him being a very self-abandoning person. He has a bit of a martyr complex and can be passive to the point of harming others and himself. He often falls into this cycle of feeling unworthy/insecure in some way but suppressing his own needs which leads to building up resentment. When that resentment becomes impossible to contain, he makes selfish and emotional decisions, feels incredibly guilty, and repeats the entire process all over again. He constantly abandons his own needs to keep the peace or hold onto people and then resents them for it, leading him to make selfish, reactive choices that hurt the very people he was trying to keep. At the beginning of Fragile Little Flames, I think it's clear that Jeff is deeply insecure and shy, worried that everyone at Dalton will figure out he's uncool and he'll have to spend the rest of high school alone. He immediately latches onto Nick, his roommate and soon to be best friend, and he develops a bit of a complex that the Warblers (and everyone else at Dalton) only tolerate him and want him around because he's Nick's best friend, and everyone likes Nick. When he and Nick start hooking up during sophomore year/the summer after, he pushes down his own feelings about it for a long time in a desperate attempt to avoid Nick freaking out and losing him entirely, despite how horrible it starts to make Jeff feel. When Jeff finally confesses his feelings for Nick (convinced that Nick must love him back if they've been having this like, nice emotionally complex sex for months), Nick completely cuts him off, ignoring him to his face and avoiding him for weeks, which is a lot when Nick is his best friend that he used to spend every single waking moment with. He suffers in silence for weeks before Sebastian devises a solution to get Nick's attention. They start flirting in front of him all the time, which drives Nick insane, and the flirting leads to them hooking up a few times and developing this pretty rich friendship with each other. It's a pretty drastic step for Jeff though, who is someone that's previously always associated with sex with like deep, emotional, romantic feelings, and it's an example of that resentment toward Nick resulting in him doing something a bit drastic and desperate and driven by emotions getting out of control, which hurts Nick in the process.
Later on in Until We Burn Out, Jeff's feelings of insecurity about the Warblers and their friendships bubble to the surface again with the council elections. He associates the loss with Nick and with Blaine and everyone choosing someone else over him again, and he represses that for a long time until it eventually results in him making the destructive decision to do drugs, probably in a desperate attempt to feel some kind of camaraderie with Hunter at a time when he didn't feel it from Nick and Blaine, which was also a lasting consequence of the guilt he feels over the Sebastian situation, even though he didn't really do anything intentionally harmful to anyone. In his relationship with Nick, those insecurities from junior year boil to the surface again senior year. Even though they're now in a relationship, it's this big secret that no one gets to know, and it makes Jeff feel like he's still being used as this private thing rather than it being a true relationship. This resentment and insecurity that Nick doesn't love him enough to overcome that builds and builds over time until he eventually ends up kinda guilt tripping Nick into coming out to his family before he's ready, and then Jeff feels guilty again. That guilt will continue to manifest in him repressing a lot of his feelings about going away for college throughout the summer, and the insecurities in their relationship will play into a lot of the conflict the two of them have during the college era, simply because Jeff tends to really let insecurities and resentment fester and build until he's dealing with them in completely irrational, destructive ways. Â
Nick: Conformist
"It’s so fucking exhausting trying to be someone I think I’m, like, supposed to be. And it pretty much made me hate everything about myself and you and everything else. I can’t…I can’t do it anymore.” -Nick to Jeff, chapter 15 of Fragile Little Flames
Yeah, this probably is no surprise to anyone, but I think Nick is a pretty chronic conformist who constantly seeks the approval of others and the mainstream, suppressing his own identity in order to feel like he fits in and is the person he's supposed to be. He abandons himself and his own desires to be liked and to feel safe, and he'd rather be accepted than be honest about who he is. I think this is evident from the beginning of Fragile Little Flames, and even How Bright We Burn. Nick is content to be the comic relief, to be the funny guy who insists he's straight, plays tennis, and joins the Warblers, all in an attempt to be this popular, cool guy that fits in at school and isn't questioned at every turn. From childhood, he was raised by a pretty conservative Catholic family, surrounded by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who imposed this toxic masculinity on him. His cousin Ryan in particular created some very deep repression in Nick, this idea that being gay is the worst thing he could possibly be and that the only thing that should matter to him is being the guy that his family and friends expect him to be. Nick never even allows himself to consider that he might be that thing that Ryan and everyone else so easily demonizes. He treats girls pretty horribly, mindlessly picking girls to have a crush on because they have arbitrary, conventionally attractive physical features that Ryan and, frankly, porn have convinced him he's supposed to like: blonde hair, big boobs, some promiscuity, etc. He dates a girl everyone calls "Easy Ellie" during sophomore year because she's hot, and if he's dating Crawford's school slut, then no one would ever possibly question whether he's a real man. He dates Hannah the summer after sophomore year because she's his neighbor and she has a crush on him, and she gives him the ability to lose his virginity during the summer he turns 16, which is what Ryan arbitrarily convinced him is a necessity if he wants to be a real man. In the winter of junior year, he dates Hattie because she's objectively the most beautiful, popular girl at Crawford so he's supposed to want her, plus she's Emma's best friend that Ethan and Emma are trying to set up. All of this also comes at the cost of Jeff, the one person he truly does want, yet he refuses to admit it to himself or to Jeff. He treats Jeff objectively pretty horribly, using him to get off and sometimes hooking up with girls literally the next day to distract himself from the fact that it happened. And the second Jeff confesses real feelings, making their sexual relationship something Nick can't easily explain away with nonsense about "guys being guys" or whatever, he ghosts his best friend and treats him like a stranger in their own dorm. And all of this hurts himself too. He's literally never allowing himself to actually be himself because he's too scared that if anyone sees that person (including himself), they won't want anything to do with him.
This behavior continues throughout senior year in Until We Burn Out, when Nick continues to keep his relationship with Jeff a secret despite knowing how much it's hurting Jeff because he doesn't want to admit his sexuality out loud or even process it himself. In chapter 29 of UWBO, he lashes out at Sebastian for making a joke about his sex life with Jeff because even after being in a relationship with Jeff for over a year at this point, he can't stand the idea that people might be talking about this aspect of him that he's still so deeply insecure about. This is also one of the first times where he's actually unable to even force himself to conform - he doesn't get into an elite top 20 university like most of his friends, which leads to even more insecurity that he's not good enough by himself and needs to change aspects of himself to fit in.
In the future, this behavior will unfortunately continue until Nick becomes truly content with his own sexuality and identity. Throughout the summer, you'll see aspects of Nick repressing his own feelings about Jeff leaving him behind because he doesn't want to admit to himself how much his life is going to change and somehow, he still doesn't want to admit just how much Jeff means to him. He has a pretty formative conversation with Hannah where he continues to lie about his sexuality, despite now being out to almost everyone in his life. And when he gets to college, he may or may not pretty easily fall into the same patterns he fell into in high school, seeking ways to conform to the toxic idea of masculinity he's been trying to conform to since he was a little kid. Yeah...rip my boy Nick. He needs a big hug and like,, at least one friend who's a woman.  Â
Ethan: Compulsively Romantic
"He’s watched Ethan ramble on about every new girl he dates, every girl he’s convinced is going to be the one for a couple of weeks until he falls out of love and moves onto the next one." -Jeff's inner monologue, chapter 10 of Fragile Little Flames
He is like,, the definition of a hopeless romantic. He falls in love incredibly quickly and easily because he's lowkey addicted to being in love and is a serial monogamist. This man has not been single for more than like a couple of weeks since he was a freshman in high school. The issue is that I think he often falls in love with the idea of people and the idea of being in love, leaving a lot of damage behind, sometimes to others but even more frequently to himself.
In Fragile Little Flames (which is the only story I've written that takes place before he starts dating Emma), there are multiple mentions of him being obsessed with some girl, dating her for a few weeks at a time before he loses interest and moves on or she breaks up with him and he's heartbroken or something like that. I like to think of him as a Romeo-esque character, someone who falls in love easily and obsessively. In Romeo and Juliet, Romeo starts the play hung up on another girl, then instantly falls in love with Juliet and within a few days is literally killing himself over her. That's an extreme example, but I don't think Ethan's flaws are that far off from Romeo's. When he starts dating Emma, he's pretty convinced she's the one within like a few weeks of dating her, and it works for a long time because she falls very hard in love with him, too. But about a year into their relationship when facing the very real life concern of what they're going to do when they graduate, Emma gets overwhelmed (which like fair) because Ethan is willing to throw away everything he's been working for his entire life (lacrosse) to be with her at Stanford. He's heartbroken when she breaks up with him, almost throwing that all away anyway by completely sabotaging his grades and everything in this depressive episode he falls into. It does take a couple of months, but he then falls pretty quickly for June over spring break—they have a lot of the same interests, she's pretty, she's available, and she is very much a Juliet. The fact that he's still hung up on Emma when this happens is torturous for Jeff (and probably also for June but ya know...story for another day), and this is how dumb boys get themselves into messy love triangles <3 This is explored a lot in Ethan's chapter of the upcoming summer fic. I'm not going to say too much because I don't want to spoil it, but a pretty huge theme in Ethan's chapter is this experience of just being so helplessly in love that he neglects every other aspect of his life, and a big part of his college years will be figuring out who he is outside of relationships and how to love in a way that is not so idealist and borderline impossible to live up to. Â
Meatbox: Stunned Maturity
"Meatbox is the opposite, far less responsible and twice as confident as he struts around the party like he’s about to make the worst decisions of his life." -Blaine's inner monologue, chapter 23 of Until We Burn Out
Meatbox's is a lot less complex than everyone else's, and it very much comes down to the fact that he is a teenage boy who has not yet figured out how to be a functioning human being. He is pretty emotionally immature, rarely thinks through his decisions before making them, and treats life pretty much as a giant frat party which...yeah, that's 100% going to continue when he goes off to Ohio State and literally joins a frat in the fall :) Anyway, I do think he struggles with some of the same toxic masculinity that Nick does, although his is wayyyy less destructive to himself and others since he actually is straight and is, like, pretty secure in his own identity and sexuality. I mean, bro literally kisses Blaine during that chessball game their sophomore year...I think he acts kinda icked out by it but still!! Nick would've for sure made a big show of finding it disgusting even though he had a big embarrassing crush on Blaine at the time. Anyway, Meatbox is just someone who has yet to grow up. He is the go-to alcohol/drugs supplier, party planner, enabler, etc. It's hard to even list examples because it truly exists in every layer of Meatbox's character and every scene he's in. Anyway, his arc in the future will involve some growing up, and I think the summer chapter will show how he can be mature when he wants to be, and he can experience complex emotions. Hattie really brings out the best in him I think, so it's unfortunate they refuse to date each other and are going to school so far away from each other...although maybe it is for the best that they're allowed to grow up and move on. Â
Trent: Self-Suppressing
 “I’ve been nervous to talk about it. Seems like everyone is so obsessed with sex that I’d immediately feel like an outsider if I said I felt differently about it.” -Trent to Blaine, Sebastian, and Ethan, chapter 9 of Until We Burn Out
He has no flaws, he's perfect <3 Just kidding lol but that was the first thought I had when trying to figure out Trent's, and it just spiralled from there. Trent always felt like a peacemaker to me, a friend to everyone. He's quietly in the background, supporting Blaine and supporting everyone, and he's fiercely loyal to the Warblers. He loves drama and gossip but loves his friends more. But he also stays quiet instead of asserting himself. He only explodes when pushed too far, which has literally only happened once ever with Blaine. He's insecure about being different, about not wanting the things that everyone else seems to want. He minimizes his own needs, identity, and discomfort to keep the peace and stay liked. He's friends with everyone because he doesn't want to risk rejection or conflict, and he enjoys gossip because it allows him to participate socially without being vulnerable himself. He doesn't have friends outside of the Warblers (until James) because he prefers to stay where it's safe, and he internalizes feeling "not normal" about his asexuality instead of asserting his own identity. In his relationship with James throughout Until We Burn Out and throughout his upcoming summer chapter, he struggles with feeling like he's not enough but doesn't fully communicate his needs and wants because he fears losing the people closest to him in the process. He doesn't want to scare James away by talking about how he feels and what he wants, so he doesn't talk about it at all, and it leads to him putting himself in uncomfortable situations. The fight with Blaine in Until We Burn Out is the one time he ever stops suppressing his own feelings and desires, and it comes in the form of a full emotional crash out. It also comes in a fight with his best friend, probably the only person he felt comfortable confiding in at the time. I think growing up in an environment as tumultuous and traumatizing as his own meant feeling like he needed to repress parts of himself to be agreeable and avoid conflict, which just ends up hurting him later on in life.Â
holy I did it again...don't even want to check the word count on this post...clearly I must miss writing essays in school
shane and ilya aren’t allowed to give dating advice anymore ever since the cens found out they were in a situationship for seven years before making it official. one of the rookies asked what he should do to turn his hookup into a relationship and ilya was like “well in my experience if you just keep hooking up with that person who won’t commit to you and never communicate your needs or desires it’ll all work out perfectly and you’ll fall in love and get married. so keep doing what you’re doing” and shane was like “have you tried getting a head injury in front of them”