“no more half loves” by Chloë Frayne

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“no more half loves” by Chloë Frayne
-mick harvey
I never thought we would end like this. The thought never brushed my mind that one day you could forget about me like this. I never thought the intense love we had would ever go away. I couldn’t see my future without your hand in mine. I couldn’t see anyone else’s body next to me every night. I couldn’t imagine living my life completely void of you.
Never would I have thought that I would scream and cry and yell your name countless nights. Never once did I think you could bring me so many rivers of tears. I never thought those pictures of us would be cried over and ripped apart.
We had so much love in the beginning. We were perfectly falling for each other, I caught you and you caught me. But I kept falling and you stood up. You watched me fall and I watched the love leave your eyes. I watched you fall out of love with me every single day without a clue what I had done wrong.
I still don’t know what I did wrong. Maybe I loved you too hard? Maybe I suffocated you by how much you meant to me? I guess I’ll never really know. But god, I never expected us to end like this. I never thought in a million years you could just walk away like that. Because you did, you walked away as if I never meant anything to you.
You walked away from me, from us, as if all of our love, all of our time together was nothing. Like letting go of me was as easy as a flower blowing in the wind.
And the words you said stay on repeat in my head. All those words, all those promises. They’re gone. Were they ever true? Did you ever actually mean the words you said? Or were they all part of the plan that ended with you walking away from me like I was a stone on the ground?
It didn’t break me when you left. Because you had slowly, piece by piece, shattered by heart along the way.
We’re over now. Nothing more than strangers. But next time you look at me, and I look at you, and we’re two different people. I hope you remember what you lost. I hope you remember everything I did for us. And I hope a part of you regrets that you let it end.
One day, you won’t cause me pain. One day, I’ll be free of you.
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Marilyn Monroe photographed at the Ambassador Hotel in New York City by Cecil Beaton, February 22nd, 1956.