you only know what i want you to

TROLL MAKE TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO CASTLE! HOW TROLL SHOULD CELEBRATE?

No one cares.

That’s way more embarrassing for you than it is for me, so – yeah, I’m fine with it.

PM → KYDER

Ryder: Then it would just have to be an extra-freak coconut, I guess. What did the Pawnee Goddesses wear? Because I could go for that if I really have to, but Eagle Scout clothes still seem more awesome. OH! New plan. I'm going as that little dude from Up, everyone loves him.

Ryder: Sugar and Blair are both funny, and Sugar always liked to mess with my hair. But fiiiiine, maybe there are other reasons I'm not super interested in French girls. I mean, not that I could ever date her for real now that we're at different schools, but I still really wanna make stuff up to Aubrey, you know? If I get a new name can it be something really awesome like Bruce Stronghold? That makes me sound all tough and badass. Why would racing on a dragon be cruel? People do it with horses, and they're just like big scaly horses with wings and fire-breath.

Ryder: Athena's the smart one and Artemis is the one that goes hunting, right? I don't remember! You know how much my memory sucks, I totally already forgot what I was going to say. Your newspaper magic was cool; we just got unlucky and somebody told on us. I wish we knew who it was; has James or anybody gotten in touch to say they've figured it out?

Kitty: You're an idiot, have I mentioned that lately? Just the regular uniform with purple sashes. Plus they had activities like puppy parties, which sounds more like you're kind of thing. Where having survival parties and hunting to kill sounds more like me. ...The dog or the annoying little boy? Because I can see both. Also Kevin.

Kitty: You know I love my Sugar Cookie and Blair isn't the most obnoxious person at Hogwarts by a long shot, but I'm just saying they are snobs. If you fared well enough with them, you'll be fine with the Beauxbatons girls. Make stuff up? That sounds like kind of a slippery slope, Hufflelynn. No, it makes you sound tough and badass which is misleading. You can be like Alan Fallden or something. Because it sounds like you fall down a lot. Horses have been domesticated over hundreds of year, same as cats and dogs. Dragons? Not so much.

Kitty: Athena's the goddess of wisdom and war, Artemis is goddess of the hunt. I still blame Marley, she was always afraid of getting in trouble and going back to live with her fat mum. No, haven't heard from anyone but Lydia lately. And she didn't mention it.

I hope cupid hits you and Kitty Wilde this Valentine's Day!

Pretty sure even if I begged, Kitty would rather spend our first couple of weeks at Beauxbatons finding a hot French dude to be her Valentine instead, but thanks for trying, grey dude.

Hey, don’t show off too much, we want people to like us, remember? Except I’m getting a hair cut right before we leave so that I look extra spiffy for our new school, too. Yeah… she’s been messaging me about how weird it is that I’m not going to be around for Valentine’s, and it just makes me feel weird ‘cause – well, I wouldn’t be her Valentine even if I was there, you know?

#convo: ryderlynn #convo: all #all: ryder

You pay for that haircut? I thought your mom just threw a bowl on top of your head and cut around it. Yeah, I do know. I guess the only good thing about Henry being a cowardly lion is that he’s too busy hiding from me to make things awkward. I am kind of sad I won’t be around to get voted Valentine’s Princess this year though.

africant

#Scrapbook #Television #about: ryder

I hope cupid hits you and Kitty Wilde this Valentine's Day!

Pretty sure even if I begged, Kitty would rather spend our first couple of weeks at Beauxbatons finding a hot French dude to be her Valentine instead, but thanks for trying, grey dude.

Seriously? Does that mean pretending it doesn’t exist, or just going by yourself if Beauxbatons has a dance? Yeah… no matter what happens it’s got to be better than that, right?

Going by myself, duh. I’d never miss a chance to flaunt how much hotter than I am than everyone else by dressing up and putting everyone else to shame. Exactly, upward comparison. And at least you won’t be around for the awkwardness of Lily’s birthday?

TROLL MAKE TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO CASTLE! HOW TROLL SHOULD CELEBRATE?

No one cares.

Hey! I’m better at potions now that I don’t read the numbers backwards anymore, just ask @slytherinjake!

Don’t be an idiot, do you want Piers to think I’m in love with your floppy haired arse?

PM → KYDER

Ryder: Coconuts ruin everything. And I have a weird irrational fear that one's gonna fall on my head someday and knock me unconscious, too. I'm totally going to dress as Andy Dwyer as like the leader of Ron Swanson's boy scout troupe thing and prove how kickass of a Halloween costume it can be this year, just wait.

Ryder: I don't really care about the French girls because someone said they were really snobby. Hey, we could have been like siblings in law if that had worked out! But he /is/ kind of a dick, I don't get what you ever saw in him. Yeah, well, no one's going to want an Auror who starts secret armies, either, so I guess I need to figure out something new, too. Hey, do you think I could race dragons? I hear that's legal in other countries, Hugo would be so jealous. I can't even get offended, my food sucks.

Ryder: Rose and Roxy are also /fun/, though, that's a big difference. OKAY WELL THEN I NEED TO FIND YOU WIMPIER NAMES TO PROVE I'M STRONGER! Or I can take Hulk and Hercules and give you Smith and Wesson, it's like a huge honor for me to share my names with you. I don't like just anybody enough to do that, like only you and Henry now that... Never mind. Uh, just don't do any magic that's going to get us expelled from another school, okay?

Kitty: You're more likely to get zonked out by a falling branch than a coconut seeing as there aren't really any palm trees around this part. Uh, no, Andy became a Pawnee Goddess because it was the superior association. Accept it and dress accurately to reflect it.

Kitty: You're judging all of France on the opinion of one person now? There are snobby English girls too, just look at Motta and Fawley. Ugh, so not worth marrying Marcus Flint. Thanks but no thanks. Besides, you're already my brother no matter what anyone else says. Maybe changing our names and transfiguring our faces to look different could help? I'm probably good enough with Glamour Spells. Hugo might kill you to take your place but I think we'll keep dragon racing way at the bottom of the list anyways. Sounds like it could get you killed easily and Rose would probably be livid anyways because it's cruel to dragons or something.

Kitty: I refuse to take Smith and Wesson. It sounds lame, so it suits you. Maybe I'll name mine Athena and Artemis or something cool like that. No never mind. Tell me, I'm your best friend. You have to, it's the rules of life. I won't, I promise. I've learned my lesson about complex magic to hide secret newspaper articles.

TROLL MAKE TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO CASTLE! HOW TROLL SHOULD CELEBRATE?

No one cares.

You. Fucked. Up. Just admit it. You fucked up by using a charm that has a loophole. It’s your fault since you’re the person who was in charge of the whole thing. Or maybe, you had a rat in your army. Again, still your fault because you trusted a rat. Are you in love with Ryder? Did he use a love potion? You’re probably going to give birth to the next Voldemort now. So your friends are just friends with you because they’re scared of you? That’s even worst than paying someone to be your friend.

#convo: piersdolohov #convo: all #all: piersdolohov

I will never admit to it, because that’s not what happened. Someone else fucked up, I sheltered them. If I did anything stupid, it was protecting people who were to stupid to execute a proper fidelius in the first place. Once again, not my fault. I wasn’t in charge of recruitment. Yes, I’m wildly in love with Lynn. That’s the exact reason for everything that’s happened, Ryder’s sweet, sweet ass. Are you a moron? Ryder is the worst person at Potions in this castle besides Henry. He’d never be able to manage something like Amortentia without my help, you insufferable neanderthal. I’m not justifying my friendships to you. I know why I have the people I do in my life and I know why you’re sad and alone, even if you pretend otherwise.

I hope cupid hits you and Ryder Lynn this Valentine's Day!

I hope cupid hits you in the jugular with one of his sharpest arrows.

#Asks #ask: valentines #ask: ryderlynn #ask: angry #Anonymous

I hope cupid hits you and Kitty Wilde this Valentine's Day!

Pretty sure even if I begged, Kitty would rather spend our first couple of weeks at Beauxbatons finding a hot French dude to be her Valentine instead, but thanks for trying, grey dude.

I’ve actually decided to go Valentine free this year. Since last Valentine’s Day was so very disastrous for me. And you too, but in totally different ways.

boogerpickerwonder

i don’t “dress to impress” i dress to depress i wanna look so good that people hate themselves

#Scrapbook

PM → KYDER

Ryder: RIGHT? WAY BETTER THAN MINTS. AND ESPECIALLY BETTER THAN THE DUMB COCONUT ONES, WHY DOES ANYONE LIKE THOSE? HEY, IT WOULD HAVE MADE A GOOD HALLOWEEN COSTUME! I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING CREEPY BY IT.

Ryder: I thought you were all excited about hot French boys :-p But fineeee, I guess being able to do magic might eb the real reason. I'm just going because I guess I need to do NEWTs, no matter what country I'm in, if I want a job someday. ...crap, you're right, that is more badass. I'll start practicing now.

Ryder: That could be it. One perk of not dating Lily anymore: I don't have to try as hard to pretend I know what all her cousins are talking about. The Ravenclaws are all kinda too smart for me. IT'S NOT CREEPY, SMITH AND WESSON ARE AWESOME! YOURS COULD BE LIKE... MEG AND HERCULES OR SOMETHING. OR HULK AND HERCULES, TOTALLY BETTER! If some guy tries to name your boobs you could just threaten him with your shoulders, problem solved.

Kitty: Don't even talk to me about those stupid coconut cookies. Why people put coconut in anything is beyond me. I have no problem finding awesome Halloween costumes as is. Catwoman > Age inappropriate girl scout.

Kitty: I AM. No-one is more excited about French boys but it's making the best out of a bad situation. Besides, I'm kind of sworn off dating still. I mean I had a slip of judgement big enough to engage in a relationship with Marcus Flint. Yeah, N.E.W.T.s are good. I'll actually need them for a job now, since no-one in their right mind would actually hire me into journalism now. Then again, Lovegood's never been in his right mind. My summer internship proved that. Good, make sure to practice transfiguring food too since we all know how bad your cooking is.

Kitty: Well, even outside of Ravenclaw you've got Rosie and Rockstar who are arguably some of the smartest. They're just better at speaking human too and not just geek. HERCULES IS DEFINITELY MORE POWERFUL THAN STUPID SMITH AND WESSON! HULK IMPLIES THAT I'M GOING TO TURN GREEN AND GIANT WITH RAGE. Oh, I'll threaten him with more than that. I've got magic for a reason, after all.

#private: lydiachang #private: all #all: lydiachang #seekinglydia

[PM] Don't forget about me when you're surrounded by those more gorgeous and interesting than I am <3 Missing you.

[PM] No-one is more gorgeous or interesting than you, Captain. Remember me when you’re winning the Quidditch Cup. <3 I miss you too. Anything interesting happening around the castle since I left?

PM → KYDER

Ryder: OH MY MERLIN THAT'S AWESOME! DO YOU STILL HAVE THE UNIFORM? CAN WE AT LEAST TALK ABOUT PEANUT BUTTER TAGALONGS?

Ryder: Maybe my wand will break, or they'll put some new kind of 'you're a criminal' trace on me. I guess I could practice wandless magic BUT HOW BADASS IS IT THAT I CAN START A FIRE WITH JUST STICKS? I mean come on!

Ryder: For a Veela he sure looks like he's like already going bald. Maybe he's secretly like way older than us and just pretending to be 17. Yeah, but are your arms so awesome that your shoulders have their own names? Didn't think so :-p

Kitty: THE PEANUT BUTTER ONES ARE THE BEST! SO UNDERRATED AND THEY HAVE CHOCOLATE AROUND THEM AND YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT CHOCOLATE. NO, I DON'T. WHAT KIND OF CREEPY JAKE-LIKE THING TO ASK WAS THAT?

Kitty: THAT'S WHAT WANDLESS SPELLS ARE FOR YOU IDIOT. And they can only put a criminal trace on us if they catch us. Do you think I'd really be bothering with Beauxbatons if I could use underage magic without the trace before March? HOW BADASS WOULD IT BE IF YOU COULD START A FIRE WITH JUST YOU'RE MIND?! C'MON!

Kitty: I really don't think he's going bald. I mean he's really boring, maybe you're eyes just roll back inside your head and you've been concentrating on his forehead too hard. I AM NOT INCOMPETENT AT GNOME THROWING JUST BECAUSE I REFUSE TO NAME MY SHOULDERS. IT'S CREEPY AND I WON'T DO IT. Besides, if I name my shoulders that's like giving some perv somewhere permission to name my boobs in the future.

PM → KYDER

Ryder: Even without magic? Because I've totally been bored enough to watch a bunch of Muggle boyscout tutorials since we got expelled and I learned how to start a fire with nothing but sticks.

Ryder: I almost didn't get the fivehead thing. His isn't even the biggest one in the castle, though! Like, I swear Louis has got a six-head then. But I appreciate the help, I can show you how totally coordinated I am by throwing them way farther than you.

Kitty: Yes, even without magic. My dad's all Muggle madness in case you forgot. I also...may or may not have been a Girl Scout. It was a dark time and I don't want to talk about selling Thin Mints.

Kitty: You're already seventeen though! Why are you wasting your time with survival videos when you could be practicing wandless Incendio spells?

Kitty: Louis's haircut at least does a decent job of hiding it if he does. Or maybe it's just the Veela magic, Piers looks like his hairline is receding slightly every year. Game on, you should know I have pretty strong arms from beating bludgers for three years though.