to err is human

William Astor, twenty one. "In the face of pain there are no heroes."

[noah--hale-deactivated20141229]

"This — can’t be happening…"

[willastor]

"Would you mind explaining why the hell it is, then?"

[louisareeves]

And that should be a respected opinion because it entirely makes sense. My parents didn’t necessarily raise me to believe in a certain religion, just to know that there is a higher source, which is plausible. But that’s sound.. You’re sound.

[willastor]

Well, the government's the only higher source I have to obey, and I'm good with that.

[louisareeves]

That’s entirely fine, I don’t smoke.

[willastor]

It's a good means of escaping social situations. So what do you do?

[its-sophie-daniels-deactivated2]

"Oh, so it’s that borderline year. Adding how long you look, I can see why anyone would struggle to sell you alcohol without an ID. Not that it’s a bad thing."

[willastor]

"So what you're saying is that I look like a twelve year old boy."

[lexyharrington]

It’s ok. I shouldn’t really have one anyways

[willastor]

Yeah, me neither. You were supposed to play devil's advocate.

[estee-emeralds]

Everything alright?

[willastor]

With my mind and soul? Mostly. With my body? Not particularly. Probably shouldn't be smoking the whole pack.

[willastor]

"I just took the last one."

[arabellamcavoy-blog]

"So, you think I wasn’t being honest before? I couldn’t get more honest if I wanted to because I’ve already told you the truth."

[willastor]

"You don't know me; you didn't have to be honest right away. You could've lied through your teeth."

[louisareeves]

Now is that so? I’d actually love to hear your opinion on the matter of religion, I reckon it’d be near glorious. Though, I reject on hand, I doubt you’d get imprisoned — possibly fined, but not imprisoned!

[willastor]

Only near glorious? I just think that religion is... pointless. It doesn't change anything, while you're alive at least, so why follow one? Once you're dead, you won't know if you were wasting your time or not.

[its-sophie-daniels-deactivated2]

"You get barely served? You are older than twenty one, right?"

[willastor]

"Just twenty one, actually."

[louisareeves]

There is no blasphemy about it! Where are you summoning that from?

[willastor]

Well, for starters, when people ask me for a truthful discussion about God or religion, things usually turn blasphemous pretty quickly. If this were a few centuries ago, that'd be a good example of the truth getting me imprisoned.

[arabellamcavoy-blog]

"Haven’t I answered that question already? I feel like we’re just going in circles here."

[willastor]

"Yeah, but the more times I ask, the more frustrated you'll get, and consequently, the more honest you'll be."

[its-sophie-daniels-deactivated2]

"He goes old school and looks for creepy friends in parks and bars."

[willastor]

"I can barely get served in bars; I don't know if I'm ready to start making friends."

[willastor]

TASK 003 — JOY

The Centre for the Rehabilitation of Natural Human Emotions for the state of New York is conducting a statewide inquisition in which every consumer is to bring forth their own description of "Joy" before and/or after the release of the Solution JOY to their Psychologist. Whether it be a memory, person, or essence is entirely up to the consumer. This is so that us here at the Centre can better understand the joyous mental state that is brought forth by the consumer and not the Solution. A Census for those that comply will be kept.

For his first prescribed dosage of the Joy Solution, his grip on the inhaler loose and uncaring, Will was--disappointed. Or, not disappointed, but rather a combination of disappointed and confused and a hundred other shades of emotions. He wasn't entirely certain what he had expected--a sudden, epiphanic realisation that everything was right in the world, an overwhelming joyousness?--but the solution was much more subtle than that. For a fleeting second, Will almost understood what his parents meant by 'happy', and what they felt when they were saying the word, around bright, wide smiles. That didn't last. Only Empathy could make it last. But that artificial happiness didn't fade, it couldn't fade, even if Will thought about everything he hated or didn't understand about the world.

It stayed, quietly thrumming beneath the surface of his skin; the feeling had nowhere to settle, but it was everywhere. There were different reasons for being happy, but this--this aimless, dizzying feeling--wasn't a means to an end. Feelings usually involved reading others' emotions, or engaging with them; Joy felt like a shortcut around that. It didn't solve any of Will's problems, and he was aware of that, but the grating happiness was unaffected by that knowledge. It didn't feel real. It didn't feel real, because it wasn't real. It was annoying, when Will really, deeply considered it. Clearly his psychologist hadn't prescribed the right dosage, or the Joy was defective--or he was broken. Although the Joy inhalation had made him feel better, that was a technicality, because, underneath that, Will didn't like it. The thrumming on his skin was starting to itch. Well, he thought sardonically, at least there's no chance of me getting addicted. Apathetic, maybe--but not addicted.

[its-sophie-daniels-deactivated2]

"It’s not depressing! Just a little hint that you should be probably looking for new friends."

[willastor]

"And where does one find friends that aren't just creeps on the internet?"

[arabellamcavoy-blog]

"Still, I should have done something instead of just letting him get away."

[willastor]

"Why?"

[remiwildex]

I actually like your life, so I entirely agree. Because seriously, fuck — excuse my language — but fuck normality because you’re just absolutely extravagant as you are!

[willastor]

That's a compliment and a half. Thanks, you too.