Hi! This is an open starter post for a Hannibal rp! Really itโs just to gauge how I write so that you have an accurate depiction on how I rp.
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Will sighed softly to himself, almost in a contemplative manner. His brown eyes flickering around Hannibalโs office anxiously as he pursed his lips. His teeth sinking into the soft flesh nervously while his hands settled on his lap as Hannibal spoke to him. He listened intently though he found it hard at times to look at the older man in his eyes. His lips parted, as if to speak though nothing came out. Struggling with what to say became rather awkward when silence overtook the room. โI feel like a trapped animal. Encased in a metal cage with nothing to do but lay around and wait for anyone to release me.โ Will spoke calmly; fumbling with his hands while he waited for a response.
โYou seem to be trapped in your own thoughts too often, Will. Your cage, while it may seem closed and suffocating is actually open. You have not tried the simpler options that are right in front of your eyes. The cage would not be the problem, your hazed over eyes would.โ Hannibal spoke in his rather smooth accent. He always seemed to have an answer to whatever metaphor Will came up with. It agitated him, brought him to the point where his remarks would become rather snarky and witty. He didnโt want to lash out on his psychiatrist. It was neither professional nor called for.
โSo what are you telling me, Dr. Lecter? That Iโm looking over the simple answers that are โbestowed upon meโ? Not everything can be solved the easy way.โ He exclaimed with a raised tone, his hands now moving to the edge of the chair. His nails grazing over the material while he quickly worked on composing himself. He always felt challenged in a way when Hannibal would speak to him in what he thought was a condescending tone. โI apologize for my behavior.โ He muttered and scoffed to himself while he gradually leaned back into the chair. Raising his hand to lightly rub at his temples while a weak and seemingly forced smile pulled at the corners of his lips. โSo what do you think I should do then, doctor?โ He inquired skeptically. Now finding himself locking eyes with the other as he tapered his brows. He could only imagine what the other would say.
Will wanders around in the office, slowly, nearly solemnly. Watching. Listening. The games these two engage in all too familiar to him since he gained consciousness. His fingers glide over the statue of the bronze stag at one of the boards, fingertips piercing into the antlers.
It's time the other finally recognizes him, acknowledges the fact he came to life through the sheer mental strength and imagination his mirrored self is capable of. It's time Will sharpens his senses and consciously realizes his existence.
Gracefully like a wildcat approaching prey he walks up behind Hannibal and bends down, whispering into the older man's ear in a way that would resemble Hannibal himself. "You want to be seen, don't you? Skillful viper, curling around my mind." His voice drops and his eyes move to his other self. "But you're not the only one who longs to be recognized by him."
His words echo in the room but neither Hannibal nor Will show any signs of having noticed them.
He straightens himself, an elongated breath leaving him.
Just as gracefully as before he slowly approaches Will now, circling around him as he starts question Hannibal once more, in a clearly agitated tone meanwhile. 'So, what do you think I should do then doctor?' With a quick gesture his hand moves into the curls on the back of the head of the other one, his fingers curling around the thick strands in a half gentle, half dominant way. "Recognize me," he hisses, as answer to the voiced question. "You made me. Now dare to open up your mind to me."
Will didnโt acknowledge the other. He gave no signs to indicate it. Not the slightest flinch or glance. Not an odd movement of any facial muscles. Absolutely nothing. Waiting for a response from the other had his hands lightly tapping along the arms of the chair. He inhaled deeply while his head briefly dipped down. โThereโs only so much you can do.โ He exclaimed faintly and scoffed to himself. He could hardly believe that he agreed to this. To any of this. โAs I said before..therapy is simply not for me.โ He mumbled while he tilted his head back up. His eyes quickly darting to Hannibal as the man sat across from him. Calm. Collected. No hint of any interest or disinterest. An odd sense of neutrality with a hint of something else lurking about that He couldnโt quite identify. Then his eyes wandered away. Left and right. Never meeting the other Will within the room. He wouldnโt.
Then the sensation hit him. The feeling of a hand in his hair had his body stiffening. His eyes shifting as did his body in a feeble attempt to get more comfortable. Some sort of acknowledgement was apparent. Although it wasnโt much it was enough to indicate that he knew the other was there with him. With them. His hands now traveling to his own thighs while he dragged them up and down. Squeezing lightly as he attempted to calm himself. He wouldnโt verbally acknowledge the other. It wasnโt the time and he didnโt want to fully give in. He would feel foolish if he did. To recognize the other fully would mean opening up to him. To admit to himself that his existence was confirmed. Though he found himself hesitant to. He was frightened and anxious though hid it decently from time to time. Though sometimes those feelings would slip through and present themselves. Manifesting and waiting for the moment when he would show some sort of vulnerability.
He wouldnโt let his other self in. Not easily. He could ignore the other all he wanted but the physical touch was much harder to ignore. Much harder to not react to in any way. It was quite the challenge. He would not let his other self know that he was fully aware of him. With that thought he licked over his lips and cleared his throat awkwardly. He was completely zoned out for a little while. Deeply submerged in his thoughts that he didnโt realize he was almost staring right through the other. Blinking quickly as he adjusted himself, โIโm slipping away from myself..โ he softly spoke. Small influxes of his voice and the slight tenseness of his jaw showing truly how he felt. He could mask it all he wanted but there would be a time where he broke. Fully. โGathering my thoughts would be like trying to solve a highly complex puzzle at this point.โ He hoarsely chuckled to himself and looked into Hannibalโs eyes. โYou can see how troublesome that might be, canโt you?โ He inquired with a hint of sarcasm lacing his tone. Clearly he was agitated and nervous.
There it was. A slight shift back, a movement of the other's head due to his touch. Aside from that Will just keeps talking to that viper, seemingly without much fruitful outcome though. Indifferent to his own presence.
His blood starts to boil. He's been around Will for weeks now, in the very beginning just shifting in and out of place until the other's mind gave him more stability. He's been in Will's kitchen while he had breakfast, at his workplace while he had to go through files containing the most horrid fotographs, and dozen times in this elegant but gloomy office here, listening to endless twisted conversations about existence and meaning and identity and all the layers of it. He's been even in his bed, laying next to Will in the night when the other couldn't differ between dream and reality anymore.
Soothing words and a voice and body he could have held on to for stability which didn't for once have Hannibal's traits and features.
He walks around Will sitting in his seat and places himself directly in front of him. Touches seem to work, so he grabs for the other's chin and moves his head upwards, making him face him. The gesture is determined but gentle, just as his voice is as he addresses Will again.
"Don't be afraid to see me. Hear me. Touch me. I might prove to be better," he looks over his shoulder towards Hannibal, an expression of mild disgust on his face, "company than he could ever be for you." He turns fully to Will again. "He will never be able to see you, like /I/ am able to do."
Will was quite the stubborn man. Constantly ignoring his other self. Trying to go through his day without paying the other any mind. He didnโt need anybody to help him. He only indulged in therapy because of Jack. He didnโt enjoy therapy. It could be certainly interesting but for the most part he didnโt really think about his therapy very often. Although he did think about Hannibal very often. He thought about him more than he thought about anyone else. He hardly paid attention to himself. Hell, he hardly did anything for himself. โI just donโt understand.โ He trailed off and rubbed his temples. He knew that eventually it would have to change. He would have to make more healthy changes to ensure a better โlifestyleโ. Now fidgeting anxiously with his hands. Intertwining them and interlacing his fingers while his leg bounced. It was evident how intense everything seemed to be for him. Though his face kept a neutral expression. His body giving off more signs than his words ever could. His words could only portray so much but with every twitch of his hands. Every purse of his lips or desperate attempt to keep the other from meeting his eyes. It revealed something about him. Something deeper.
Almost instantaneously he found himself snapped out of his small daze and glanced at his other self fully, โYouโre quite persistent arenโt you?โ He inquired lowly. His eyes focusing on the other after a few moments. The initial couple of seconds it was as if he was looking through him and everything was slowly coming into focus. When it did his brows tapered slightly. โIโm going insane, arenโt I?โ He chuckled in disbelief. His face mixed with confusion and sadness. โI canโt touch you..how-โ he paused while he took a deep breath in. Holding it for a few moments while his lips parted to speak. Of course nothing came out in that moment. He was stunned. โItโs possible that you could prove to be better company. Though Iโm not sure.โ He whispered while he shook his head, โTo see me?โ He scoffed and tilted his head back some more until his eyes met the ceiling. His hands gripping roughly at his own thighs, โWell- youโre me. Iโd be surprised if you couldnโt. Though at times Iโm not even sure if I could understand myself. To understand whatโs going on in my head. Iโm losing my sense of self. Iโm only getting worse and worse and itโs not stopping. I donโt think it will ever stop.โ He quickly shut his mouth. Refusing to meet his other selfs eyes after everything he just admitted. Nothing came from him for a little bit after that. He hated feeling so vulnerable. Hated being seen like this.
Hannibal watches Will with a stunned expression. So far Will had been talking about his experiences, about fragility and how he seemed to feel trapped in his life. The next sentences don't seem to match the former flow of the conversation though. Will is looking /at/ him but is obviously not /seeing/ him.
Then something starts that Hannibal can only classify as dialogue which is awkwardly not directed towards his persona.
"Will?" He addresses him, trying to snap him back into focus. The hallucinations must have captured him and Hannibal couldn't be more intrigued about how Will's beautiful and challenged brain would shape them in his current state of distress. "What do you see? Who is here?"
~
The moment the other Will started to talk to him, Will's own face showed deep satisfaction, a hint of affection even. 'You're quite persistent.' He had reached out to touch the other's face once more, to cup his cheek as in reassuring the other he should believe his senses and not question his existence. He's cut short though to further engage with his mirrored self because The Viper starts to pull the other out again and away from him. 'What do you see?' Will spins around, his hand had barely touched the other's cheek. He quickly walks back to Hannibal, an air of wrath around him, pulls out a knife from his pocket and places it against Hannibal's throat. "/I/ see someone who prevents us from being united and together." His eyes connect with the other Will's ones. "Isn't that what you see as well, Will?"
Willโs head tilted back to Hannibal. Though he couldnโt really see him since his other self was before him. He could remember more or less where he would have to look to appear as if he was paying attention to Hannibal. His brows knitted together while his leg bounced insistently. Swallowing harshly as he tried to focus to the best of his ability. He wants to snap back and talk to Hannibal but he doesnโt feel the compulsion to respond to what he said at the moment. โHannibal-โ he paused. A brief response that was contrary to his apologies for not focusing or a small witty response. โI see,โ he mumbled. His lips parted just slightly while he tried to wrap his head around everything that was happening. His eyes fluttering shut as he felt the gentle touch. It felt nice in comparison to what he normally felt on a daily basis. Of course the loss of contact pulled him out of his somewhat relaxed state and he finally answered. โMyself. I see me.โ He murmured and raised his brows. His body tensing minutely as he watched everything unfold.
Willโs eyes quickly moving from the knife to Hannibalโs neck, โUnited and together? Elaborate.โ He mumbled faintly, his whole body subtly leaning forward while he pondered if he should get up and approach the other. His eyes narrowed for a moment as he slowly got up out of his seat and approached Hannibal. Though he was in front of the other his attention was clearly not directed at him. โIn a way..yes that is true. Is he competition to you?โ He inquired faintly. His voice just above a whisper while he slowly walked around the seat. His hand reaching out briefly to touch his other selfโs arm, โIt isnโt competition if one is clearly inferior to the other.โ He softly murmured. At that point it was up to his other selfโs interpretation. Would he be the superior or be inferior? Willโs gaze gave nothing away. Not until the faintest hint of a smile perched on his lips and he pulled away completely to saunter over to Hannibalโs desk. His fingers grazing over the material while he found himself zoning out once more. โItโs hard for me to..stay.โ He mumbled and rubbed his temples weakly. โMaybe I should just head home- Iโm sure this will pass. Iโm sure Iโll be fine in the morning- or is it morning already?โ
The tip of the knife presses harder into Hannibal's throat and Will curls up his nose at the question if the man is competition to him. "/If/ I'd call him a competitor then I'd label him someone who competes with me for a place in your mind. And for your /attention/ for sure."
With a hateful expression he grasps for Hannibal's hair, pulls his head back and lets go harshly again, but removes the knife in the end.
"You want to talk about me and you and him and inferiority?" Will cocks his head, challenging.
"I'm not doing this in his presence. He makes you weak and agitated, leaving less energy in you to feed me. Come."
He gestures his head toward the door of the office and heads out first, leaving the other Will standing there for a second. He'll follow or he won't. If it's the latter, he'll be with him tonight, in more private situations than The Viper will ever witness about Will."
โClearly you arenโt very fond of Hannibal. You crave to be seen. Recognized. I donโt know how to provide that for you.โ Will muttered lowly, โWould you rather me caress you? Kiss you? Talk to you like youโre my partner?โ Will spoke with a hint of sarcasm. His tone clearly seeming more stern yet a bit panicked all at the same time. โHe is in my mind often..but youโre truly here. Youโre..in front of me. My mind made you real.โ He mumbled softly and took a few moments to step away. Shaking his head weakly while he tried to ground himself. Hands briefly trembling while he closed his eyes, โGive me a moment- just! Give me a moment!โ He hollered and inhaled deeply, โMy name is Will Graham.โ He paused while he slowly sat himself down and bounced his leg rapidly, โI am in..โ he whispered. Trying to recall where he was at the moment, โWolf trap Virginia, it is 8:10 PM.โ He repeated.
Will took just a bit longer to calm himself. He needed to remember where he was in the moment. But in a rash decision he stood up, โHannibal- I need to go. I NEED to go.โ He exclaimed while he began rushing to the door. Eventually making his way to his vehicle and settling into his seat. Resting his head against the steering wheel with gritted teeth. โMy name is Will Graham. I am Will Graham.โ He whispered while he tried his best to concentrate on where he was. Trying his hardest to ground himself. โWill- Will I need you. I need you right now-โ he exclaimed in a panic. Looking for the other while his grasp on the steering wheel tightened. His knuckles turning a pale color. His breathing hitching and picking up itโs pace. โI want you here, Will. I need you here, Will. Please.โ
"You rang, Monsieur?" There he is, emerging out of the dark like a feathered stag, just with a much more pleasant face. Which is casually grinning at Will now.
Easily his elbow rests at the passengers door, just where the window starts coming out, the vibe he throws off easy and cool and a stark contrast to Will who is practically falling apart in his seat.
"Ah, look at you, once more interpreting Will Graham's best of breakdowns." Again his hand runs through the other's curls, staying this time a little to caress the scalp on the back of the head to soothe the other one, and then moves down his back.
"You need me? Great that you're finally realizing. And good that you left the old owl in there." He gestures with one finger towards Hannibal's house.
In his ways he's counter-balancing Will, not feeding his terror like Hannibal would with questionable forms of treatment and inquiry about the instability.
Then he cocks his head at Will. "So, I think there was talk about who is inferior to whom and what I mean with uniting us and I believe you throwing at me if I want you to kiss and caress me?"
A crooked grin. "Which topic do you wish to dive in first?"
Willโs head twisted to glance at his other self. Pursing his lips while he tapped his foot down and shook his head quickly. โYou seem rather smug.โ He spoke sternly and narrowed his eyes at the other. โYes. I called for you.โ He almost spat out angrily and took a few moments to breath and calm himself a bit. His hand reaching out to grab the other. He wanted him close in this moment. He wanted some sort of comfort. โSo calm and collected. I could only dream of that. Even then I canโt do that,โ he scoffed and looked down at himself. โItโs common for me to have breakdowns. Iโm sure youโve noticed it one too many times. Do you enjoy it?โ He spitefully inquired and exhaled deeply.
โI donโt remember the last time I was touched like this. I donโt remember anything being this gentle. Itโs.. a nice difference Iโll say that.โ He nodded and tilted his head up while inhaling deeply. His lips pursed into a thin line while he let out a soft groan, โYes. I need you. Have you yearned for me to say those three words? Or are you looking for another lovely expression which just so happens to be three words long.โ He shook his head dismissively and rubbed at his temples. His body tense as well as his grip. His body language gave off an anxious aura that ceased to die out. โI had to leave I was panicking and I donโt want him to see me like that again. I seem weak. I donโt like to look weak.โ ๏ฟผ
โThe inferiority part was simply a way for me to deter you from getting more upset..โ Will trailed off and scoffed when the other topics were mentioned. โI am curious as to what you meant.. uniting us? Being together? Itโs like you want me all to yourself.โ He shook his head while his brows knitted. A look of disbelief washing over him. โKissing you and caressing you would be..odd. I donโt know how I would feel. Iโve touched you very briefly but..Iโm not an intimate man. Thatโs not me.โ He sighed weakly and tilted his head at the other, โWe can dive into any topic you want. Iโm going to guess the kissing and caressing is going to be the first topic though. You seem very interested in it at least so letโs talk about that then. What do you want? Do you want me? All of me. Do you want me to be..yours in a sense because thatโs certainly what it looks like.โ
He sighs a little. "So much monologue, Will. I said one topic after another. You even make /my/ mind burst and that's nearly impossible."
He actually fumbles a cigarette out of the breast pocket of his jacket, and lights it. A trait he created by himself without the other's conscious input and a distinct sign of an /own/ identity blooming, distinctly differing him from Will.
"So let's take it step by step. Yes, I have seen you breaking down way too often. No, I have never enjoyed witnessing it. Why do you think I came to life, or rather - you made me come." He chuckles at the double entendre, throwing the other Will an indecent look. Well, he /has/ asked for it after all, being the one who started to speak of caresses and kisses.
"And you find me being smug?" He drags at the cigarette and the smoke starts to curl in front of his face. "Well, let's say you made me the persona at least a part of you wished to be but couldn't develop into. But that doesn't matter now, we're all here," he gestures around and between them, "forming a full picture, don't we? Fragile outcast and bad boy, all rolled into one, coming for the world."
โYou act as if I donโt just jumble everything up into one big ball and internalize it..โ Will sighed faintly and closed his eyes, โ Alright. One topic at a time. I promise. Iโll start with the last topic. Kissing and..touching you.โ He spoke firmly and let his hands torn to his own thighs. Resting them there and eventually dragging them up and down to soothe himself. โYou smoke?โ He scoffed weakly and glanced away from the other. โI couldnโt ever pick up smoking. Thatโs interesting..โ he trailed off and looked back at gore other self. Taking him in and taking his time to look over him entirely. Reaching to fumble with his clothing and eventually cup his cheek. Feeling him. Though of course with no intention of being romantic or sexual at all. It was just for some sort of confirmation for himself. โMaking you come is not my goal. Youโre being very flirtatious and bold.โ
He shook his head dismissively and snickered, โ itโs like you want me. In many ways. Just because I brought up kissing you and touching you does not mean Iโm interested in having sex with you.โ He clarified and eventually leaned his head back. His face blooming with a faint shade of pink while he tried to avoid the others gaze. โQuite perverted. If you wanted me to kiss you you simply could have asked. If you wanted it that bad you can take it. Just like you yearned for recognition and eventually I caved and gave it to you. Youโre smart enough to get what you want how you want it. So..take what you wantโ He exclaimed softly and looked into his other selfโs eyes. His brow raised while His gaze traveled up and down the other and then back to his hands that were on his lap.
โSmug in a way that I donโt often show. Yes.โ Will nodded firmly and finally began driving back home. โOh yeah, fragile outcast swoons for the bad boy. Bad boy winds up going out with and having sex with that outcast and boom. Happy every after right?โ He sarcastically mumbled under his breath. โPartners in crime. My lover. My best friend. My everything,โ He rambled on for a few moments, โI donโt kiss people anyway. I have kissed very few people in my life. Touching you would be a different story. I could possibly get a feel for you.. not in that way but certainly I could at least find some comfort in touching you and feeling you being here with me.โ
He grins all the time at Will, amused to the bone. "You know, given all that rambling about sex, lovers, touches and so on it looks more like /you/ rather want /me/ desperately than the other way round.
Casually he takes another drag from his cigarette.
"I said one step at a time. Be realistic, you'd love yourself." He looks up to the car ceiling, contemplating, still grinning smugly. "Which in itself is considered a healthy thing though. - If you'd lay me or I laid you, would the term 'go fuck yourself' get an entire new meaning then?"
He turns his gaze to Will, chuckling, his head still thrown back into his neck. The next words come out more serious though. "You know, you /should/ touch me though. If for nothing else then at least to hold onto, for comfort and as some center. You made me tangible for you. There's a reason I'm not only a voice in your head."
Will inhaled deeply while his hands glided along the steering wheel. His eyes focused ahead while he listened to the other speak. โThereโs a reason why youโre not just a voice but I just canโt wrap my head around the thought that my mental health is this bad.โ He mumbled and lightly bit into his cheek. A small rarity now turned into a common bad habit for him. His eyes wandering to the cigarette that the other smoked with ease as if he had been doing it for years. It perplexed him in a way. He didnโt smoke so what made his other self so interested in it.
โItโs so bad that my mindโs trying to cope with everything going on by manifesting a person for comfort. Well- it seems almost obvious that thatโs the reason. Itโs just hard to come to terms with this.โ Will grumbled lowly while his eyes flickered down to his lap for a few moments. His grip slightly tightening on the steering wheel as he lightly shook his head at himself. He didnโt know how to help himself at this point. To know that his mind was so broken in a way that he could never truly fathom was horrifying to him. He cared enough about his wellbeing to want to act on his declining mental health but everything seemed to be spiraling too quickly. With each step in the right direction thereโs a force thatโs pushing him back enough to make him take two or three steps back.
Will sighed deeply as he drove. So deep in thought that it was borderline zoning out. Of course having to snap himself out of it was the hardest part. He wanted to be back home already. At least then the two of them could divulge into the topic more. Will wasnโt entirely there to respond to the best of his ability. But eventually they arrived in the driveway. He then turned the car off. Shifting to face the other some more and talk some more.
