Invested In My Soul †self
[I spent my time watchin' the spaces that have grown between us.
And I cut my mind on second best or the scars that come with the greeness.
And I gave my eyes to the boredom, still the seabed wouldn't let me in,
And I tried my best to embrace the darkness in which I swim.]
It was taxing; William could feel it in his very core. Shadows looming in the darkest corners of the outstretched path, wandering the halls, lights hung above bright and fluorescent despite the time of night, and the doubtfully sleeping patients that lay beyond closed doors.Â
There was a storm that raged. Despite his ability to curb what he had often deemed vulgar displays of anger since transferring. (Ridding himself of Eli had allowed that.) But what brought much more burden to the Doctors shoulders was he was suddenly the recipient of âhealthy humanistic expressionâ. More often than not it was River who graced his office, fluttering and gushing about. . But it was Aileen who broke his façade of charming concern. She had gotten under his skin, started the clock. Whilst Riverâs growing dependency rose, as each and every person who she deemed real due to some hidden electricity left her. She, in many ways, was the essence of romanticism that could potentially be Elliotâs downfall. Elliot had Cotards, a syndrome that caused one to believe they were rotten, parts of them falling away piece by piece. The very idea that perhaps he was -the idea sweet, worrisome River had perpetuated- could only lead to acts far more sinister.
 On the other hand She believed herself happy, and happiness was relative. Chapman knew that. He knew that one should never wish to be happy, but wish to be whole. To take the good with the bad, and strive to live, not just exist. Birth had hindered that from him. Emotions were never something he had; heâd looked after his sister by role rather than care. He kissed his mother dutifully when leaving the house like his father and many others had told him to. Psychology helped him understand what society deemed was normal, and normal, -most hypothesized- was being an entirely whole, and functional human. It drew William into a world of understanding. Finally he understood his indifference to the living. With the death of his sister, he was submitted to consoling.
Dr Reynolds slowly discovered over the course of a year the psychopathic child that graced his presence. The black and white ideals the young boy held up above all else. Good people do bad. Bad deserve to be punished. It was as if this fundamental principle had to be white washed, and so extensive therapy began.
To the doctor Chapman was nothing more than his âcareer breakâ, his prodigy patient. William became functional through education; his doctor assuming the second would grow as Will became âattachedâ to those around him.
 âYoung Psychopath turned Civilized by Reynoldsâ
graced newspapers across the country. Willâs identity protected under the privacy act signed by his guardians. When interviewed, William had given them what they wanted, a small smile and shy performance,
âI want to help others who suffer⊠Like I did.â
But that was the lie right there wasnât it? Because even now as Chapman graced the halls of Rosewood Asylum, he knew he had never suffered. Never changed. He had merely got better at hiding it. William thought of himself as a scatterbrained old Cadillac, driven into the ground it somehow kept on starting without fuss. But as time trickled on, he knew it could be any second until that old engine stalled. Releasing a part of Chapman he had long locked away.