I think I've been reading too many manwhas and mangas lately bc I've been craving to write a nasty, angsty, hurt/no comfort fic about character A being head over heels for character B for years and years, longing and yearning for B's love and affection but at the same time being convinced that B will never reciprocate their feelings
but then one day A accidentally slips up and confesses their feelings to B (bc drunk, forced proximity, or something like that, yadda yadda) and B is first totally flustered and shocked but then like "hmmm, why not? let's try dating then!" and so they do
and first, A is completely over the moon bc come on! they're finally dating their long-time crush, who they thought would never love them back (which they don't yet, mind you), and now they're having this kind of... situationship going on but A's happy with it after feeling hopeless for so many years. they really cherish the little moments, even try to be bolder sometimes, like hugging B and even kissing them sometimes, but A tries their best to be considerate when B says they're not used to it yet and wanna take things slow, so basically rejecting A on almost all their advances
it goes on like this for several weeks, months even, A still completely smitten, tho slowly but surely reaching their limit in terms of intimacy. as in, they try to get physically closer to B but B still blocks A's advances to a point where it actually frustrates A very much. but they still don't let anything slip, they're patient, and just remind themselves that B is making an effort in trying to date them after all and that not everything has to be about the physical things (maybe add in them having to live together for whatever reason, just to make things especially complicated here just bc I like that thought 😏)
another few months pass by and nothing really changes. A tries and tries and tries but B doesn't let them, they don't go on proper dates, they don't meet very often, they pretty much live each their own lives. especially B isn't really willing to make time for A, mostly prioritizing others and other matters. it feels more like a friendship between house-/roommates than a relationship between lovers
and when A finally has the heart to speak up about all this, B insists that they're a real couple but that it's just hard for them to get used to it yet. B reassures A that they'll try harder and will make an effort just for A
cue to them going on a mediocre date, which has to be cut short bc B gets a call from a friend and leaves A in the middle of it saying "gotta go, my friends need me bc they wanna go out to drink"
A overthinking things then and finally asks a Friend for advice. Friend ofc tells them the harsh truth; that B is leading them on and seems to not actually want a relationship with A but probably just feels comfy with someone taking care of them and A doting on them, and that ofc shatters A's illusion and makes them see things a bit clearer
so A returns home that day, completely crushed but sober and ofc starts to withdraw and reduce their efforts put into that situationship from then on, simply bc they realized by now that this is not really your regular romantic relationship and especially not what they were hoping for. so they don't see a reason in still trying- and especially not wanting to force B into something they can't or don't want to give them
B does wonder at first bc A's been out late more often, spending time with their friends instead of trying to spend it with B or being more busy at college/their job, not leaving B any little notes or dinner/breakfast ready before they leave anymore, yadda yadda... but they don't pay it much mind, B just takes it as it is. and with B's behavior -as in, them not really caring much about the lack of time spent together with A- A realizes just how onesided all this "dating" thing has been and that nothing's really changed from the beginning; B will actually never reciprocate their feelings
A then starts looking for an apartment for themself and as they find one, they eventually gather all their courage and call in B for The Talk. B's like "oh, A probably wants to ask if we can go on a date or if we can get physical" or whatever, but A actually suggests that they break up and they'll move out and already found an apartment, bc they realized that this is not working and that B still doesn't love them
and B is completely taken aback, they weren't expecting this kind of talk at all. bc they didn't realize that it was going that bad and they were so sure of themself that they thought this would work out somehow. panic settling in, they try to convince A to stay but A refuses and just repeats that they already found an apartment and will be moving out by end of the month- and that it's final for them. A ends their conversation with the words "I still love you and I will probably always do. And precisely bc of that, I can't force you to love me back if you simply don't."
B mulls things over in their head that night, realizing what they've done wrong and that they've really been acting like a huge asshole, being inconsiderate of A's feelings and taking them for granted, even taking advantage of them. B loses sleep over thinking about if they love A or not and if they actually want to date and in the end come to the conlcusion that it's probably not yet love but that they do harbor some romantic affection for A and cherish them a lot
B tries to talk to A the next morning but they already left for college/their job and so B resolves to try and make things better between them; they prepare dinner, breakfast, leave little notes for A- just like they've done for B before. and ofc A notices and their resolve to leave starts to waver but they constantly remind themself that B is still not in love with them (which is still a fact at this point)
in the a little over three weeks A has left until they move into their new place, B tries harder than ever to keep things friendly between them. they even come home earlier from college/their job during the week or refuse going out with their friends on the weekends, just to spend some time with A, even suggests to watch a movie, eat dinner together etc.
the more time passes and the closer A's deadline of leaving approaches, the heavier B's heart gets. they really cherish each and every single moment spent with A by now, seeing them happily munching on their food or their face lighting up when seeing something interesting in a movie, the way they laugh and smile -even if not directed at B- it makes their heart flutter. the more days fly by and the more boxes filled with A's belongings appear in the hallway, the more painful it becomes for B bc they finally realize that they didn't just grow fond of A- no, they'd eventually fallen in love with them at this point
the day of A's move, B tries their hardest to stay as neutral as possible, as friendly and supporting as they can muster, bc after all- this was all their fault, so they have no right to intervene or ask for anything rn
but the heart wants what it wants and so the moment A picks up the last bags of their belongings, B just stands in the hallway, leaning against the wall as A turns around to say goodbye. A needs a moment, looking at B with a pained expression until B speaks up first
"I'm sorry for messing this up, I never meant to hurt you. And I know it's way too late for this but I... I realized fell in love with you."
A is taken aback and wavers, their heart beating fast and heavy and begging them to just hug B silly and stay and try again but their mind reminds them of how it was before and that they shouldn't trust B's words just like that
so, eventually, after long moments of silence, A answers "I love you and will always do- but I should leave now. This is for the best, for both of us."
as the door closes, B slowly slides down the wall, crying silently at first until they break down completely and sob loudly, all alone, regretting their actions that finally lead A to leave them for good - but they know they can't change a thing anymore