Will

Merlin’s ORIGINAL best friend No1 Arthur Pendragon hater WILL NOT WILLIAM!!!

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Here to cause havoc and make Arthur’s life a living nightmare.

yeah because i’m ’Prince William of Ealdor’ and Arthur Pendragon is a sproutsnout who does NOT deserve my best friend!

Not sure if the Will i’m rp can be ooc as he was only in one episode, so this is basically just pulling the characterisation i have of him out of my fic. I’ll make a small list below so you can have a character overview of how i see him though.

.Merlin is practically his brother in all but blood and so they are very similar. (as children made up all of Merlin’s iconic saying like ‘turniphead’ ‘clotpole’ and ‘cabbagehead’)

.Always very lonely before Merlin and after he left so don’t really know how to have genuine lasting connections with people. (was always seen as the unwanted orphan who was basically adopted by the village whore and her bastard son- because of how i hc people of that time period would act)

.Is very protective of those he cares about

.Strong hatred for nobility because of how his father died and his family not receiving any help. (thinks that they do not care and will just take until there is nothing left- accurate due to ealdor being in Essetir who had Cenred as their king)

.He’s aromantic (romance adversed) so never wants to be in a romantic relationship

so yeah, i think that’s about it. i’ve never done a rp in this fandom before, so i’ll do my best, i just thought this would be fun to join

[camelots-lancelot]

i promised to tell you if the planning is too much for me, and... fuck, i'm not really sure how to say this. i think the whole wedding might be too much for me. no, darling, nonono, let me finish before you panic. there's nothing else i want more in this world than to marry you, my love, but doing so in the way nobles do, with a public spectacle and so many people, i– it's very overwhelming. and i want to show you off, i really do, but being so vulnerable in front of everyone we know... it makes me feel uneasy. i will do it for you, you know i will, i'll do anything you ask of me, but i wanted you to know. in case it comes up at a really inconvenient time or shows in a way that makes it look like i don't want to marry you anymore. because i couldn't bear the thought of hurting you like that. i'm sorry for being difficult.

You aren’t being difficult, my love. I understand. if it makes you feel better i’d rather not have a public wedding either. I don’t want you to brace yourself for our wedding day, it should be a day of us, for us and i could care less about the time, place or setting. all that matters is that you’re there

what would you like to do instead of marrying in front of everyone, darling?

@thats-sir-gwaine-to-you

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

it doesn't really matter, people would get upset... i'll do whatever you want. as you said, all that matters is that you're there.

[camelots-lancelot]

We’re not marrying the entire kingdom, they don’t get a say on our marriage plans. that’s not the answer i was looking for, darling. tell me what you want, and then we’ll discuss how that fits with what i also want, which is to marry you.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

what about our friends? they want to be there and celebrate with us, as much as some of them take up the long-suffering act...

Lance, if i could, i'd steal you away for a day or two and i'd tell you and show you how much i love you and then we'd have a singular person officiate the wedding and then i'd just brag to everyone willing to listen about my most wonderful husband. do you see the issue? feelings would get hurt. feelings of people we care about and love. and you say i'm not being difficult...

[camelots-lancelot]

our friends know how you feel about displays. and there’s nothing stopping us from having a small get together some time after to celebrate

because you’re not, my love, listen. if it leaves you stressed out so much so that you can’t enjoy our special day then that’s not for us. it’s not a show to perform, it’s our own special moment that doesn’t have to be shared with the whole world unless we want it to be. so if you want to take a few days off, go wherever we like, get married and come back we can do that. we don’t have to let what everyone else wants dictate how we do this. if they’re upset then they can answer to me okay?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

it's not about the display, it's... i want to be vulnerable in my vows, and i don't want people staring at me while i cry, and i don't want any sort of potential unforeseen drama ruining our day. i want to kiss you as roughly as you like it without people whistling. you know? and i want you all to myself for the first moments of our marriage. but i don't want you to think i want to hide you, or this. i want everyone to know. it's a good thing i'm not the king, i'd have word sent out across all the land, border to border. there wouldn't be a person in this kingdom who doesn't know your name.

[camelots-lancelot]

i don’t think you want to hide me, sweetheart. I understand completely. we can do that okay? your happiness matters to me and i love you

it’s a good thing you’re not the king or you’d have twice the marriage offers you usually get, imagine a knight trying to win his king’s affections

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

but what about your happiness? are you going along with this just because i'm a little stressed? i don't want that. i want that day to feel like it belongs to you, i want you to be more than just content.

i could rule all of Albion and you'd still win my affections without even trying, my noble knight ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

my happiness is your happiness darling. I don’t care if it’s the biggest ceremony or the smallest, it’s with you and that’s all i care about

flatterer

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you sure?

not a single exaggerated word, sweetpea

[darkestraine]

Im going to be real, I can't tell gwaine and lancelot apart

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

well that's easy. @camelots-lancelot is the kinder, more handsome one 😁

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

you can say that again. He’s also the one with the bigger dic… ;)

[camelots-lastmanservant]

Merls! i've been let go from the infirmary, fancy a tankard of mead at the tavern and the ghost story with a happy ending i promised to catch you up on? 😁

– @thats-sir-gwaine-to-you

I don't see why not, if everyone else can manage to stay alive long enough. Shall I meet you there?

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

*spontaneously bursting through the door at the mention*

A ghost story? Well i’ve got to hear this! It’s seems too long since i have actually done anything after how busy Gaius has kept me recently.

[camelots-lastmanservant]

You're in for a treat. That's everyday with Gaius. You're going to have a wonderful amount of time trying to figure out when to do anything now.

If you get drunk and kill a bird with a stone I will not not turn you into Arthur for murder

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Ughhh it’s the worst! I swear he is taking advantage of my knees, but even they are going to give out soon at this rate.

IT WAS ONE TIME!!! Look i didn’t mean to kill that robin and her nest when we were kids, but i can’t exactly help falling out of a tree and trying to grab onto something for support!

[camelots-lastmanservant]

I feel you if nothing else... for 23 I feel mucher more 93

Murderer. She had a family

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Ha, yet you have it worse by having to run up and down those stairs all day after the prat on top of that. Honestly rip your knee caps and hips :(

LIKE IT WAS MY FAULT! i could have died merlin! ever think about that…

(of course you wouldn’t, your numb to it after nearly being killed on a daily basis)

[camelots-lastmanservant]

Merls! i've been let go from the infirmary, fancy a tankard of mead at the tavern and the ghost story with a happy ending i promised to catch you up on? 😁

– @thats-sir-gwaine-to-you

I don't see why not, if everyone else can manage to stay alive long enough. Shall I meet you there?

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

*spontaneously bursting through the door at the mention*

A ghost story? Well i’ve got to hear this! It’s seems too long since i have actually done anything after how busy Gaius has kept me recently.

[camelots-lastmanservant]

You're in for a treat. That's everyday with Gaius. You're going to have a wonderful amount of time trying to figure out when to do anything now.

If you get drunk and kill a bird with a stone I will not not turn you into Arthur for murder

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Ughhh it’s the worst! I swear he is taking advantage of my knees, but even they are going to give out soon at this rate.

IT WAS ONE TIME!!! Look i didn’t mean to kill that robin and her nest when we were kids, but i can’t exactly help falling out of a tree and trying to grab onto something for support!

[camelots-lastmanservant]

Merls! i've been let go from the infirmary, fancy a tankard of mead at the tavern and the ghost story with a happy ending i promised to catch you up on? 😁

– @thats-sir-gwaine-to-you

I don't see why not, if everyone else can manage to stay alive long enough. Shall I meet you there?

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

*spontaneously bursting through the door at the mention*

A ghost story? Well i’ve got to hear this! It’s seems too long since i have actually done anything after how busy Gaius has kept me recently.

[camelots-lancelot]

heyyy~ guess who <3

hi my love ☺️

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you calling random people "my love" now? 🤨

[camelots-lancelot]

… was that not you??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*mouth twitching from holding back a grin* no

[camelots-lancelot]

are you sure darling? You’re looking awfully suspicious for someone claiming innocence

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

me? i'm completely innocent, as always 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

As someone so innocent you should come closer, sweetheart. I haven’t seen you in days, I think I’m having fiancée withdrawals

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*overdramatically, the back of his hand to his forehead* ah, but if i come any closer, you'll see right through my deception!

tell me more about these fiancé withdrawals, though ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

I’d like my deceptive fiancee closer if you don’t mind ;)

oh the usual, pangs of agony when I look up and you’re not there, constant daydreaming and over dramatic sighs (according to @sir-leon-the-long-suffering)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can't argue with that ;)

sounds like you're in love. who's the lucky guy? 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

don’t argue then. Get over here *he steps closer, reaching to tug Gwaine’s arm closer*

you know him quite well

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*lets himself be tugged closer*

*sigh (but smiling)* do i need to challenge Leon again?

[camelots-lancelot]

again ??🤨

much better *grins, his hand sneaking round his waist* how are you healing? Gaius give you the all clear?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

well, my dear, you keep insinuating that you're in love with him... 😁

...yes. he did. mhm. *not convincing anyone*

[camelots-lancelot]

I am not *huffs*

I don’t believe that. I don’t even know why you’re standing go sit down

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh? who were you talking about, then? hm? 😁

he said that i'll be alright soon. i just can't wait to be well enough to get you a proper ring. or two.

[camelots-lancelot]

I think you know, my love.

You needn’t do that. One will suffice don’t you think?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i think i need you to help me remember 😁

oh. uhm. sure, if that's what you want. i just thought... nevermind. i said however you'd have me, i meant however you'd have me. i don't have a right to push.

[camelots-lancelot]

woah hey. Hey. Tell me what’s on your mind. It’s your wedding, our wedding and you get a say too. I just don’t want you to be stressed about it that’s all. I don’t need rings to have your proof of love. You do what you want and I will love whatever you do

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh. oh, i severly misinterpreted what you were telling me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Oh god what did you think i meant??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

...that you only want the engagement ring.

[camelots-lancelot]

what I meant, my dear future husband, is that rings or not, i want to marry you.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you certain? it's alright if it's too soon for you.

you also deserve nice things, i'm getting you both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. just try and stop me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Don’t test me. I want to marry you this very instant but I want you well first so you can enjoy it.

whatever my husband desires he shall have *grins cheekily, dropping a kiss to his cheek*

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

being dead couldn't stop me from enjoying that. i'm almost well now.

lucky lad. it's a pity that i'm not your husband, because i desire you ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

to death and far beyond then you know you have me.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

you might grow tired of me.

not quite what i meant ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

never.

hmm?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

don't play chaste, Lance. you just want to hear me say how i'd "have you" here and now if i could. 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

hmm no still not ringing a bell ;)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

love? i will get up again and i will pin you to that wall over there. do not tempt me.

[camelots-lancelot]

very tempting darling, but not until Gaius says you’re completely well.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

spoilsport

[camelots-lancelot]

You were worse when I was bedridden

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

that was different, you were injured

[camelots-lancelot]

so are you! Not to mention you’ve got more emotional after effects to deal with than mine!

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm not, i'm just sick! and the only emotional aftereffect worth mentioning was realising that i don't want to wait to marry you!

[camelots-lancelot]

bruised to hell and back you mean, head wound barely healed and you still limp!

the second I know you can get on your feet without falling over I’m marrying you, we won’t wait a second more. I promise

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can assure you that the only limping i'm prone to is the kind that appears when i spend the night in your bed ;)

you've seen me move about just fine literal minutes ago

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

girls girls your both pretty

“he then sighs* it seems like only yesterday you both were flirting instead of fucking, and now look at you soon to be married. Although you argue and tease as if you have been for years.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

nobody's arguing with that 😁

well, that's still the case considering someone is too stubborn about me getting better first... @camelots-lancelot

[camelots-lancelot]

it’s for his own good ! he was gravely injured you know

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm almost back to full health! maybe you just don't love me anymore. hmph.

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[camelots-lancelot]

I’m doing this because I love you

you’re just as impatient as I am if not more ;)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

can you blame me? i could be sharing a bed with the most handsome, noble, kind, loving man i know, and i'm stuck here instead. no offense, Gaius.

[camelots-lancelot]

no I can’t. I was in your position not that long ago so I know exactly how that feels (and now you understand why I was so impatient 😁)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh that's how it is, hm? this is payback. fine. since you won't have me, maybe @willnotwilliam-of-ealdor would be interested.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

go ahead and take all the time you need to recover dearest. and while he rests @camelots-lancelot i’m always up for a bit of fun in the meantime ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

maybe we could include our invalid ;) he can sit and watch if he wishes

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

ah lance always the sweetest of us three whores

[camelots-lancelot]

Just making sure no one feels left out ;)

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

as always such a generous man

[camelots-lancelot]

heyyy~ guess who <3

hi my love ☺️

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you calling random people "my love" now? 🤨

[camelots-lancelot]

… was that not you??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*mouth twitching from holding back a grin* no

[camelots-lancelot]

are you sure darling? You’re looking awfully suspicious for someone claiming innocence

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

me? i'm completely innocent, as always 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

As someone so innocent you should come closer, sweetheart. I haven’t seen you in days, I think I’m having fiancée withdrawals

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*overdramatically, the back of his hand to his forehead* ah, but if i come any closer, you'll see right through my deception!

tell me more about these fiancé withdrawals, though ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

I’d like my deceptive fiancee closer if you don’t mind ;)

oh the usual, pangs of agony when I look up and you’re not there, constant daydreaming and over dramatic sighs (according to @sir-leon-the-long-suffering)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can't argue with that ;)

sounds like you're in love. who's the lucky guy? 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

don’t argue then. Get over here *he steps closer, reaching to tug Gwaine’s arm closer*

you know him quite well

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*lets himself be tugged closer*

*sigh (but smiling)* do i need to challenge Leon again?

[camelots-lancelot]

again ??🤨

much better *grins, his hand sneaking round his waist* how are you healing? Gaius give you the all clear?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

well, my dear, you keep insinuating that you're in love with him... 😁

...yes. he did. mhm. *not convincing anyone*

[camelots-lancelot]

I am not *huffs*

I don’t believe that. I don’t even know why you’re standing go sit down

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh? who were you talking about, then? hm? 😁

he said that i'll be alright soon. i just can't wait to be well enough to get you a proper ring. or two.

[camelots-lancelot]

I think you know, my love.

You needn’t do that. One will suffice don’t you think?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i think i need you to help me remember 😁

oh. uhm. sure, if that's what you want. i just thought... nevermind. i said however you'd have me, i meant however you'd have me. i don't have a right to push.

[camelots-lancelot]

woah hey. Hey. Tell me what’s on your mind. It’s your wedding, our wedding and you get a say too. I just don’t want you to be stressed about it that’s all. I don’t need rings to have your proof of love. You do what you want and I will love whatever you do

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh. oh, i severly misinterpreted what you were telling me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Oh god what did you think i meant??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

...that you only want the engagement ring.

[camelots-lancelot]

what I meant, my dear future husband, is that rings or not, i want to marry you.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you certain? it's alright if it's too soon for you.

you also deserve nice things, i'm getting you both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. just try and stop me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Don’t test me. I want to marry you this very instant but I want you well first so you can enjoy it.

whatever my husband desires he shall have *grins cheekily, dropping a kiss to his cheek*

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

being dead couldn't stop me from enjoying that. i'm almost well now.

lucky lad. it's a pity that i'm not your husband, because i desire you ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

to death and far beyond then you know you have me.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

you might grow tired of me.

not quite what i meant ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

never.

hmm?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

don't play chaste, Lance. you just want to hear me say how i'd "have you" here and now if i could. 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

hmm no still not ringing a bell ;)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

love? i will get up again and i will pin you to that wall over there. do not tempt me.

[camelots-lancelot]

very tempting darling, but not until Gaius says you’re completely well.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

spoilsport

[camelots-lancelot]

You were worse when I was bedridden

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

that was different, you were injured

[camelots-lancelot]

so are you! Not to mention you’ve got more emotional after effects to deal with than mine!

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm not, i'm just sick! and the only emotional aftereffect worth mentioning was realising that i don't want to wait to marry you!

[camelots-lancelot]

bruised to hell and back you mean, head wound barely healed and you still limp!

the second I know you can get on your feet without falling over I’m marrying you, we won’t wait a second more. I promise

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can assure you that the only limping i'm prone to is the kind that appears when i spend the night in your bed ;)

you've seen me move about just fine literal minutes ago

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

girls girls your both pretty

“he then sighs* it seems like only yesterday you both were flirting instead of fucking, and now look at you soon to be married. Although you argue and tease as if you have been for years.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

nobody's arguing with that 😁

well, that's still the case considering someone is too stubborn about me getting better first... @camelots-lancelot

[camelots-lancelot]

it’s for his own good ! he was gravely injured you know

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm almost back to full health! maybe you just don't love me anymore. hmph.

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[camelots-lancelot]

I’m doing this because I love you

you’re just as impatient as I am if not more ;)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

can you blame me? i could be sharing a bed with the most handsome, noble, kind, loving man i know, and i'm stuck here instead. no offense, Gaius.

[camelots-lancelot]

no I can’t. I was in your position not that long ago so I know exactly how that feels (and now you understand why I was so impatient 😁)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh that's how it is, hm? this is payback. fine. since you won't have me, maybe @willnotwilliam-of-ealdor would be interested.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

go ahead and take all the time you need to recover dearest. and while he rests @camelots-lancelot i’m always up for a bit of fun in the meantime ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

maybe we could include our invalid ;) he can sit and watch if he wishes

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

ah lance always the sweetest of us three whores

[camelots-lancelot]

heyyy~ guess who <3

hi my love ☺️

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you calling random people "my love" now? 🤨

[camelots-lancelot]

… was that not you??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*mouth twitching from holding back a grin* no

[camelots-lancelot]

are you sure darling? You’re looking awfully suspicious for someone claiming innocence

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

me? i'm completely innocent, as always 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

As someone so innocent you should come closer, sweetheart. I haven’t seen you in days, I think I’m having fiancée withdrawals

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*overdramatically, the back of his hand to his forehead* ah, but if i come any closer, you'll see right through my deception!

tell me more about these fiancé withdrawals, though ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

I’d like my deceptive fiancee closer if you don’t mind ;)

oh the usual, pangs of agony when I look up and you’re not there, constant daydreaming and over dramatic sighs (according to @sir-leon-the-long-suffering)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can't argue with that ;)

sounds like you're in love. who's the lucky guy? 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

don’t argue then. Get over here *he steps closer, reaching to tug Gwaine’s arm closer*

you know him quite well

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*lets himself be tugged closer*

*sigh (but smiling)* do i need to challenge Leon again?

[camelots-lancelot]

again ??🤨

much better *grins, his hand sneaking round his waist* how are you healing? Gaius give you the all clear?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

well, my dear, you keep insinuating that you're in love with him... 😁

...yes. he did. mhm. *not convincing anyone*

[camelots-lancelot]

I am not *huffs*

I don’t believe that. I don’t even know why you’re standing go sit down

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh? who were you talking about, then? hm? 😁

he said that i'll be alright soon. i just can't wait to be well enough to get you a proper ring. or two.

[camelots-lancelot]

I think you know, my love.

You needn’t do that. One will suffice don’t you think?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i think i need you to help me remember 😁

oh. uhm. sure, if that's what you want. i just thought... nevermind. i said however you'd have me, i meant however you'd have me. i don't have a right to push.

[camelots-lancelot]

woah hey. Hey. Tell me what’s on your mind. It’s your wedding, our wedding and you get a say too. I just don’t want you to be stressed about it that’s all. I don’t need rings to have your proof of love. You do what you want and I will love whatever you do

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh. oh, i severly misinterpreted what you were telling me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Oh god what did you think i meant??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

...that you only want the engagement ring.

[camelots-lancelot]

what I meant, my dear future husband, is that rings or not, i want to marry you.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you certain? it's alright if it's too soon for you.

you also deserve nice things, i'm getting you both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. just try and stop me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Don’t test me. I want to marry you this very instant but I want you well first so you can enjoy it.

whatever my husband desires he shall have *grins cheekily, dropping a kiss to his cheek*

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

being dead couldn't stop me from enjoying that. i'm almost well now.

lucky lad. it's a pity that i'm not your husband, because i desire you ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

to death and far beyond then you know you have me.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

you might grow tired of me.

not quite what i meant ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

never.

hmm?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

don't play chaste, Lance. you just want to hear me say how i'd "have you" here and now if i could. 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

hmm no still not ringing a bell ;)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

love? i will get up again and i will pin you to that wall over there. do not tempt me.

[camelots-lancelot]

very tempting darling, but not until Gaius says you’re completely well.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

spoilsport

[camelots-lancelot]

You were worse when I was bedridden

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

that was different, you were injured

[camelots-lancelot]

so are you! Not to mention you’ve got more emotional after effects to deal with than mine!

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm not, i'm just sick! and the only emotional aftereffect worth mentioning was realising that i don't want to wait to marry you!

[camelots-lancelot]

bruised to hell and back you mean, head wound barely healed and you still limp!

the second I know you can get on your feet without falling over I’m marrying you, we won’t wait a second more. I promise

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can assure you that the only limping i'm prone to is the kind that appears when i spend the night in your bed ;)

you've seen me move about just fine literal minutes ago

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

girls girls your both pretty

“he then sighs* it seems like only yesterday you both were flirting instead of fucking, and now look at you soon to be married. Although you argue and tease as if you have been for years.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

nobody's arguing with that 😁

well, that's still the case considering someone is too stubborn about me getting better first... @camelots-lancelot

[camelots-lancelot]

it’s for his own good ! he was gravely injured you know

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm almost back to full health! maybe you just don't love me anymore. hmph.

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

nah he just wants to go full bdsm on your wedding night, and wants you stamina to be up to par

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

when is it not?

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

since the blowie you gave me last night…

[camelots-lancelot]

heyyy~ guess who <3

hi my love ☺️

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you calling random people "my love" now? 🤨

[camelots-lancelot]

… was that not you??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*mouth twitching from holding back a grin* no

[camelots-lancelot]

are you sure darling? You’re looking awfully suspicious for someone claiming innocence

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

me? i'm completely innocent, as always 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

As someone so innocent you should come closer, sweetheart. I haven’t seen you in days, I think I’m having fiancée withdrawals

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*overdramatically, the back of his hand to his forehead* ah, but if i come any closer, you'll see right through my deception!

tell me more about these fiancé withdrawals, though ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

I’d like my deceptive fiancee closer if you don’t mind ;)

oh the usual, pangs of agony when I look up and you’re not there, constant daydreaming and over dramatic sighs (according to @sir-leon-the-long-suffering)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can't argue with that ;)

sounds like you're in love. who's the lucky guy? 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

don’t argue then. Get over here *he steps closer, reaching to tug Gwaine’s arm closer*

you know him quite well

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*lets himself be tugged closer*

*sigh (but smiling)* do i need to challenge Leon again?

[camelots-lancelot]

again ??🤨

much better *grins, his hand sneaking round his waist* how are you healing? Gaius give you the all clear?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

well, my dear, you keep insinuating that you're in love with him... 😁

...yes. he did. mhm. *not convincing anyone*

[camelots-lancelot]

I am not *huffs*

I don’t believe that. I don’t even know why you’re standing go sit down

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh? who were you talking about, then? hm? 😁

he said that i'll be alright soon. i just can't wait to be well enough to get you a proper ring. or two.

[camelots-lancelot]

I think you know, my love.

You needn’t do that. One will suffice don’t you think?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i think i need you to help me remember 😁

oh. uhm. sure, if that's what you want. i just thought... nevermind. i said however you'd have me, i meant however you'd have me. i don't have a right to push.

[camelots-lancelot]

woah hey. Hey. Tell me what’s on your mind. It’s your wedding, our wedding and you get a say too. I just don’t want you to be stressed about it that’s all. I don’t need rings to have your proof of love. You do what you want and I will love whatever you do

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh. oh, i severly misinterpreted what you were telling me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Oh god what did you think i meant??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

...that you only want the engagement ring.

[camelots-lancelot]

what I meant, my dear future husband, is that rings or not, i want to marry you.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you certain? it's alright if it's too soon for you.

you also deserve nice things, i'm getting you both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. just try and stop me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Don’t test me. I want to marry you this very instant but I want you well first so you can enjoy it.

whatever my husband desires he shall have *grins cheekily, dropping a kiss to his cheek*

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

being dead couldn't stop me from enjoying that. i'm almost well now.

lucky lad. it's a pity that i'm not your husband, because i desire you ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

to death and far beyond then you know you have me.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

you might grow tired of me.

not quite what i meant ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

never.

hmm?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

don't play chaste, Lance. you just want to hear me say how i'd "have you" here and now if i could. 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

hmm no still not ringing a bell ;)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

love? i will get up again and i will pin you to that wall over there. do not tempt me.

[camelots-lancelot]

very tempting darling, but not until Gaius says you’re completely well.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

spoilsport

[camelots-lancelot]

You were worse when I was bedridden

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

that was different, you were injured

[camelots-lancelot]

so are you! Not to mention you’ve got more emotional after effects to deal with than mine!

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm not, i'm just sick! and the only emotional aftereffect worth mentioning was realising that i don't want to wait to marry you!

[camelots-lancelot]

bruised to hell and back you mean, head wound barely healed and you still limp!

the second I know you can get on your feet without falling over I’m marrying you, we won’t wait a second more. I promise

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can assure you that the only limping i'm prone to is the kind that appears when i spend the night in your bed ;)

you've seen me move about just fine literal minutes ago

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

girls girls your both pretty

“he then sighs* it seems like only yesterday you both were flirting instead of fucking, and now look at you soon to be married. Although you argue and tease as if you have been for years.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

nobody's arguing with that 😁

well, that's still the case considering someone is too stubborn about me getting better first... @camelots-lancelot

[camelots-lancelot]

it’s for his own good ! he was gravely injured you know

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm almost back to full health! maybe you just don't love me anymore. hmph.

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

nah he just wants to go full bdsm on your wedding night, and wants you stamina to be up to par

[camelots-lancelot]

… so when did you get in my head and can you get out of there ..

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

ah but my sweet sweet lance i am always watching (and whose to say i don’t want to watch ;) )

[camelots-lancelot]

heyyy~ guess who <3

hi my love ☺️

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you calling random people "my love" now? 🤨

[camelots-lancelot]

… was that not you??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*mouth twitching from holding back a grin* no

[camelots-lancelot]

are you sure darling? You’re looking awfully suspicious for someone claiming innocence

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

me? i'm completely innocent, as always 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

As someone so innocent you should come closer, sweetheart. I haven’t seen you in days, I think I’m having fiancée withdrawals

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*overdramatically, the back of his hand to his forehead* ah, but if i come any closer, you'll see right through my deception!

tell me more about these fiancé withdrawals, though ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

I’d like my deceptive fiancee closer if you don’t mind ;)

oh the usual, pangs of agony when I look up and you’re not there, constant daydreaming and over dramatic sighs (according to @sir-leon-the-long-suffering)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can't argue with that ;)

sounds like you're in love. who's the lucky guy? 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

don’t argue then. Get over here *he steps closer, reaching to tug Gwaine’s arm closer*

you know him quite well

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*lets himself be tugged closer*

*sigh (but smiling)* do i need to challenge Leon again?

[camelots-lancelot]

again ??🤨

much better *grins, his hand sneaking round his waist* how are you healing? Gaius give you the all clear?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

well, my dear, you keep insinuating that you're in love with him... 😁

...yes. he did. mhm. *not convincing anyone*

[camelots-lancelot]

I am not *huffs*

I don’t believe that. I don’t even know why you’re standing go sit down

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh? who were you talking about, then? hm? 😁

he said that i'll be alright soon. i just can't wait to be well enough to get you a proper ring. or two.

[camelots-lancelot]

I think you know, my love.

You needn’t do that. One will suffice don’t you think?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i think i need you to help me remember 😁

oh. uhm. sure, if that's what you want. i just thought... nevermind. i said however you'd have me, i meant however you'd have me. i don't have a right to push.

[camelots-lancelot]

woah hey. Hey. Tell me what’s on your mind. It’s your wedding, our wedding and you get a say too. I just don’t want you to be stressed about it that’s all. I don’t need rings to have your proof of love. You do what you want and I will love whatever you do

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh. oh, i severly misinterpreted what you were telling me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Oh god what did you think i meant??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

...that you only want the engagement ring.

[camelots-lancelot]

what I meant, my dear future husband, is that rings or not, i want to marry you.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you certain? it's alright if it's too soon for you.

you also deserve nice things, i'm getting you both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. just try and stop me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Don’t test me. I want to marry you this very instant but I want you well first so you can enjoy it.

whatever my husband desires he shall have *grins cheekily, dropping a kiss to his cheek*

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

being dead couldn't stop me from enjoying that. i'm almost well now.

lucky lad. it's a pity that i'm not your husband, because i desire you ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

to death and far beyond then you know you have me.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

you might grow tired of me.

not quite what i meant ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

never.

hmm?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

don't play chaste, Lance. you just want to hear me say how i'd "have you" here and now if i could. 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

hmm no still not ringing a bell ;)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

love? i will get up again and i will pin you to that wall over there. do not tempt me.

[camelots-lancelot]

very tempting darling, but not until Gaius says you’re completely well.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

spoilsport

[camelots-lancelot]

You were worse when I was bedridden

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

that was different, you were injured

[camelots-lancelot]

so are you! Not to mention you’ve got more emotional after effects to deal with than mine!

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm not, i'm just sick! and the only emotional aftereffect worth mentioning was realising that i don't want to wait to marry you!

[camelots-lancelot]

bruised to hell and back you mean, head wound barely healed and you still limp!

the second I know you can get on your feet without falling over I’m marrying you, we won’t wait a second more. I promise

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can assure you that the only limping i'm prone to is the kind that appears when i spend the night in your bed ;)

you've seen me move about just fine literal minutes ago

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

girls girls your both pretty

“he then sighs* it seems like only yesterday you both were flirting instead of fucking, and now look at you soon to be married. Although you argue and tease as if you have been for years.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

nobody's arguing with that 😁

well, that's still the case considering someone is too stubborn about me getting better first... @camelots-lancelot

[camelots-lancelot]

it’s for his own good ! he was gravely injured you know

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm almost back to full health! maybe you just don't love me anymore. hmph.

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[camelots-lancelot]

I’m doing this because I love you

you’re just as impatient as I am if not more ;)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

can you blame me? i could be sharing a bed with the most handsome, noble, kind, loving man i know, and i'm stuck here instead. no offense, Gaius.

[camelots-lancelot]

no I can’t. I was in your position not that long ago so I know exactly how that feels (and now you understand why I was so impatient 😁)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh that's how it is, hm? this is payback. fine. since you won't have me, maybe @willnotwilliam-of-ealdor would be interested.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

go ahead and take all the time you need to recover dearest. and while he rests @camelots-lancelot i’m always up for a bit of fun in the meantime ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

heyyy~ guess who <3

hi my love ☺️

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you calling random people "my love" now? 🤨

[camelots-lancelot]

… was that not you??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*mouth twitching from holding back a grin* no

[camelots-lancelot]

are you sure darling? You’re looking awfully suspicious for someone claiming innocence

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

me? i'm completely innocent, as always 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

As someone so innocent you should come closer, sweetheart. I haven’t seen you in days, I think I’m having fiancée withdrawals

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*overdramatically, the back of his hand to his forehead* ah, but if i come any closer, you'll see right through my deception!

tell me more about these fiancé withdrawals, though ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

I’d like my deceptive fiancee closer if you don’t mind ;)

oh the usual, pangs of agony when I look up and you’re not there, constant daydreaming and over dramatic sighs (according to @sir-leon-the-long-suffering)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can't argue with that ;)

sounds like you're in love. who's the lucky guy? 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

don’t argue then. Get over here *he steps closer, reaching to tug Gwaine’s arm closer*

you know him quite well

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*lets himself be tugged closer*

*sigh (but smiling)* do i need to challenge Leon again?

[camelots-lancelot]

again ??🤨

much better *grins, his hand sneaking round his waist* how are you healing? Gaius give you the all clear?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

well, my dear, you keep insinuating that you're in love with him... 😁

...yes. he did. mhm. *not convincing anyone*

[camelots-lancelot]

I am not *huffs*

I don’t believe that. I don’t even know why you’re standing go sit down

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh? who were you talking about, then? hm? 😁

he said that i'll be alright soon. i just can't wait to be well enough to get you a proper ring. or two.

[camelots-lancelot]

I think you know, my love.

You needn’t do that. One will suffice don’t you think?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i think i need you to help me remember 😁

oh. uhm. sure, if that's what you want. i just thought... nevermind. i said however you'd have me, i meant however you'd have me. i don't have a right to push.

[camelots-lancelot]

woah hey. Hey. Tell me what’s on your mind. It’s your wedding, our wedding and you get a say too. I just don’t want you to be stressed about it that’s all. I don’t need rings to have your proof of love. You do what you want and I will love whatever you do

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh. oh, i severly misinterpreted what you were telling me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Oh god what did you think i meant??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

...that you only want the engagement ring.

[camelots-lancelot]

what I meant, my dear future husband, is that rings or not, i want to marry you.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you certain? it's alright if it's too soon for you.

you also deserve nice things, i'm getting you both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. just try and stop me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Don’t test me. I want to marry you this very instant but I want you well first so you can enjoy it.

whatever my husband desires he shall have *grins cheekily, dropping a kiss to his cheek*

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

being dead couldn't stop me from enjoying that. i'm almost well now.

lucky lad. it's a pity that i'm not your husband, because i desire you ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

to death and far beyond then you know you have me.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

you might grow tired of me.

not quite what i meant ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

never.

hmm?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

don't play chaste, Lance. you just want to hear me say how i'd "have you" here and now if i could. 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

hmm no still not ringing a bell ;)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

love? i will get up again and i will pin you to that wall over there. do not tempt me.

[camelots-lancelot]

very tempting darling, but not until Gaius says you’re completely well.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

spoilsport

[camelots-lancelot]

You were worse when I was bedridden

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

that was different, you were injured

[camelots-lancelot]

so are you! Not to mention you’ve got more emotional after effects to deal with than mine!

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm not, i'm just sick! and the only emotional aftereffect worth mentioning was realising that i don't want to wait to marry you!

[camelots-lancelot]

bruised to hell and back you mean, head wound barely healed and you still limp!

the second I know you can get on your feet without falling over I’m marrying you, we won’t wait a second more. I promise

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can assure you that the only limping i'm prone to is the kind that appears when i spend the night in your bed ;)

you've seen me move about just fine literal minutes ago

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

girls girls your both pretty

“he then sighs* it seems like only yesterday you both were flirting instead of fucking, and now look at you soon to be married. Although you argue and tease as if you have been for years.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

nobody's arguing with that 😁

well, that's still the case considering someone is too stubborn about me getting better first... @camelots-lancelot

[camelots-lancelot]

it’s for his own good ! he was gravely injured you know

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm almost back to full health! maybe you just don't love me anymore. hmph.

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

nah he just wants to go full bdsm on your wedding night, and wants you stamina to be up to par

[camelots-lancelot]

heyyy~ guess who <3

hi my love ☺️

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you calling random people "my love" now? 🤨

[camelots-lancelot]

… was that not you??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*mouth twitching from holding back a grin* no

[camelots-lancelot]

are you sure darling? You’re looking awfully suspicious for someone claiming innocence

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

me? i'm completely innocent, as always 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

As someone so innocent you should come closer, sweetheart. I haven’t seen you in days, I think I’m having fiancée withdrawals

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*overdramatically, the back of his hand to his forehead* ah, but if i come any closer, you'll see right through my deception!

tell me more about these fiancé withdrawals, though ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

I’d like my deceptive fiancee closer if you don’t mind ;)

oh the usual, pangs of agony when I look up and you’re not there, constant daydreaming and over dramatic sighs (according to @sir-leon-the-long-suffering)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can't argue with that ;)

sounds like you're in love. who's the lucky guy? 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

don’t argue then. Get over here *he steps closer, reaching to tug Gwaine’s arm closer*

you know him quite well

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

*lets himself be tugged closer*

*sigh (but smiling)* do i need to challenge Leon again?

[camelots-lancelot]

again ??🤨

much better *grins, his hand sneaking round his waist* how are you healing? Gaius give you the all clear?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

well, my dear, you keep insinuating that you're in love with him... 😁

...yes. he did. mhm. *not convincing anyone*

[camelots-lancelot]

I am not *huffs*

I don’t believe that. I don’t even know why you’re standing go sit down

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh? who were you talking about, then? hm? 😁

he said that i'll be alright soon. i just can't wait to be well enough to get you a proper ring. or two.

[camelots-lancelot]

I think you know, my love.

You needn’t do that. One will suffice don’t you think?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i think i need you to help me remember 😁

oh. uhm. sure, if that's what you want. i just thought... nevermind. i said however you'd have me, i meant however you'd have me. i don't have a right to push.

[camelots-lancelot]

woah hey. Hey. Tell me what’s on your mind. It’s your wedding, our wedding and you get a say too. I just don’t want you to be stressed about it that’s all. I don’t need rings to have your proof of love. You do what you want and I will love whatever you do

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

oh. oh, i severly misinterpreted what you were telling me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Oh god what did you think i meant??

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

...that you only want the engagement ring.

[camelots-lancelot]

what I meant, my dear future husband, is that rings or not, i want to marry you.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

are you certain? it's alright if it's too soon for you.

you also deserve nice things, i'm getting you both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. just try and stop me.

[camelots-lancelot]

Don’t test me. I want to marry you this very instant but I want you well first so you can enjoy it.

whatever my husband desires he shall have *grins cheekily, dropping a kiss to his cheek*

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

being dead couldn't stop me from enjoying that. i'm almost well now.

lucky lad. it's a pity that i'm not your husband, because i desire you ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

to death and far beyond then you know you have me.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

you might grow tired of me.

not quite what i meant ;)

[camelots-lancelot]

never.

hmm?

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

don't play chaste, Lance. you just want to hear me say how i'd "have you" here and now if i could. 😁

[camelots-lancelot]

hmm no still not ringing a bell ;)

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

love? i will get up again and i will pin you to that wall over there. do not tempt me.

[camelots-lancelot]

very tempting darling, but not until Gaius says you’re completely well.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

spoilsport

[camelots-lancelot]

You were worse when I was bedridden

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

that was different, you were injured

[camelots-lancelot]

so are you! Not to mention you’ve got more emotional after effects to deal with than mine!

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i'm not, i'm just sick! and the only emotional aftereffect worth mentioning was realising that i don't want to wait to marry you!

[camelots-lancelot]

bruised to hell and back you mean, head wound barely healed and you still limp!

the second I know you can get on your feet without falling over I’m marrying you, we won’t wait a second more. I promise

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

i can assure you that the only limping i'm prone to is the kind that appears when i spend the night in your bed ;)

you've seen me move about just fine literal minutes ago

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

girls girls your both pretty

“he then sighs* it seems like only yesterday you both were flirting instead of fucking, and now look at you soon to be married. Although you argue and tease as if you have been for years.

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

For a man who's constantly saying "shut up Merlin" Arthur REALLY loves when that little guy talks. Merlin is blabbering away constantly and Arthur is all pretend irritation and 'stop talkinnggg' but the second he actually DOES stop talking Arthur goes into IMMENSE panic mode, like just say you love when he talks his nonsense, we've seen your heart eyes bitch you are not fooling anyone

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

It’s insufferable I tell you!!!

Like just admit it already @theonceandfuturekingofcamelot

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

🤷 was just curious to see if there was anything between you guys

define "anything" 😁

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor @bbc-camelot-blog

[camelots-lancelot]

I see no problem with them having “anything” going on?? Gwaine isn’t a thing to be owned, anon. He is free to do as he wishes.

as for me I’ve been busy with new patrol duties, although I don’t know why you need to know such a thing.

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

it just so happens that what i want to do is you 😁

no need to be so hostile, dear. i don't think there was malicious intent behind these.

[camelots-lancelot]

is that so? Well I think that could be arranged *an arm wraps around his waist* I think I owe you an apology for leaving without warning

mm regardless. i refuse to let anyone insinuate anything against you or Will in such a manner

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Ahh the guard dog had been activated, what can i say this over protectiveness is doing wonders down south ;)

but i do think they’re rather inquisitive, perhaps they are jealous, or even want to join

[thats-sir-gwaine-to-you]

so….you and will 👀🧐

me and @willnotwilliam-of-ealdor what?

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

me and gwaine nothing more like.

[camelots-lastmanservant]

feeling murderous by any chance?

perhaps? Why.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

because i… ate the last honey cake!

dun dun dunnnnn

[camelots-lastmanservant]

i will slit your throat

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Aww merls, how sweet of you, i never knew you cared 🥰

[camelots-lastmanservant]

they will never stop finding your body.

bits and pieces of it for months, you'll be alive for most of them.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Oh, well they did always say i was quite big ;)

Didn’t know you were into that kind of foreplay though Merls. Umm bet pendragon would like it. He does seem the submissive kind, well to you anyway;)

[camelots-lastmanservant]

im killing myself

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Aww but you’ve got so much to live for…

like my fabulously spectacular personality.

[camelots-lastmanservant]

@theonceandfuturekingofcamelot help me

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

I can put him in the dungeon? Or perhaps the pillory, if you’d like a public spectacle?

[camelots-lastmanservant]

Pillory sounds better

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

Wonderful. @willnotwilliam-of-ealdor, come with me.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Oh hello little princeling, (i’d say kingling but it doesn’t sound as great) come to take me to see my adoring fans!

I know you don’t have many so maybe i’ll let you share, but we may have to cover your face a little, wouldn’t want to give any of the maidens a fright.

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

Lucky for me, I don’t care much for maidens. You’re going in the pillory.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Ah, you just want Merls to replace that stick up your arse with his own. Perhaps he can teach you a lesson on where to shove it ;)

@thats-sir-gwaine-to-you want to join me, i wanna know how many pickled eggs i can catch in my mouth while drunk and chained.

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

Oh, you’re drunk. That explains some of this.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Look i am i man of many talents and skills (being able to juggle being one of them. unlike you Merls!) But the point is i can bad mouth you, piss off Merls, beat Gwaine’s record of eating 3 dozen pickled eggs in 3 minutes, all while having smoked some of gaius’ opium that he made me collect and sit in a pillory in the meanwhile.

Now that my liege, is all the callings for a fun time.

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

Lovely. You know I can make your punishment worse if Merlin asks, yeah? @camelots-lastmanservant

[camelots-lastmanservant]

throw rocks at him

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

@willnotwilliam-of-ealdor we’re giving people rocks now. And if Merlin wants things to be worse, he just needs to say the word.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

You wound me… literally.

Alas i’m now in for a good stoning, if only i had some pleasure to go along with it. I have, after all, always liked it a little rough and tumbled, and you exhibiting me in this way is making me get a hard on.

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

@camelots-lastmanservant has he always been like this? He’s like a less pretty Gwaine.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

I take offence to this, this beauty is the talk of the town. *he says, gesturing down at himself*

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

Uhuh… you’re locked up in a pillory, you’re covered in produce (a lot of which is rotten), and your pants are falling down. You aren’t exactly the image of gorgeousness.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Ahhh, but that’s where you’re wrong princess! A little tying up and vulnerability can really bring someone to the peak.

I just happen to be their wet dream.

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

You smell of rotten fish and tomatoes.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

And i can smell your bad breath and sweat from here, yet Merlin is still ready to jump your bone, so why should no one mine.

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

Prick.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

codwallop!

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

Numpty!

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

CUMBERWORLD

[theonceandfuturekingofcamelot]

You’re getting… creative.

[willnotwilliam-of-ealdor]

Oh yes, an intellect higher than yours dalcop.