Violets are blue
Roses are red
None of it matters
Ben Solo is dead
cherry valley forever
Monterey Bay Aquarium
occasionally subtle

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor

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noise dept.
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@willwritefortea
Violets are blue
Roses are red
None of it matters
Ben Solo is dead
Whatever happened to Kylo Ren?
Poe: Hey, Rey, whatever happened to Kylo Ren?
Rey: It’s a long story. I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it yet.
Finn: Come on. Did you fight him. Did you kill him?
Rey: Sort of. Look, please, you don’t want to hear this.
Poe: Sure we do.
Finn: Yeah, come on Rey, why can’t you tell us?
Rey: *Sighing* Fine. He turned to the light, flew to Exegol to help me defeat Palpatine, used up the last of his strength to bring me back to life with the force, then died in my arms.
*Stunned silence*
Poe: Oh my god. Rey, I....
Finn: Wow, Rey, I’m really sorry, that’s.....
Rey: Then I brought him back to life with the force, and then we made passionate, animal, love on the floor of the Sith temple while it collapsed around us, and then we sort of remembered about the battle, so we snuck out and flew back here, stopping a few times on the way to have sex, but they cut all that out because apparently Star Wars is a family film.
Finn:
Poe:
Rey: Hey, you asked.
Finn: So..... where is he now?
Rey: Back in my ship, naked and tied to the pilot’s seat.
Finn:
Poe:
Rey: See you later guys *leaves*
Finn: So....this isn’t a family film any more?
Poe: Guess not.
Finn: Thank fuck for that *grabs Poe and kisses him*
I am the spy: Gingerpilot edition
Hux: Actually I think I will deal with them myself.
Stormtrooper: Yes sir *hands over blaster*
Finn winces. Chewbacca roars. Poe smiles. There is the briefest of pauses, then a blaster is fired and the stormtrooper hits the floor.
Finn: What?
Poe: Atta boy, Hugs.
Chewie: *confused noise*
Hux: I am the spy.
Poe: I knew it.
Finn: No you did not.
Poe: No, honestly, I did.
Finn: But...
Hux: There’s no time for this. Follow me.
They run out of the room, following Hux to the launch bay.
Finn: I don’t get it. Why are you doing all this? Why are you helping us?
Hux: I don’t care if you win. I just.....*looks at Poe and blushes*
Poe: *Raising his hand to gently touch Hux’s face* I know.
Finn: *Looking from one to the other* Wait, what the hell.....
Poe: I’ll explain later, Finn.
Finn: Oh I’m sorry, is now not a good time?
Hux: Not really, no. Listen, one of you needs to shoot me in the arm. To make it look like a fight.
Poe: No-one is going to shoot you Hugs. No way. Not after all you have done for us. We want you to come with us....
Finn shoots Hux in the leg. Hux screams and falls to the floor.
Poe: Finn!
Finn: What? It was his idea.
Hux: The arm, I said the arm, you bastard.
Poe: Honestly Finn, what is up with you today?
Chewie: *Urgent roars*
Finn: We have to go, Poe. Now.
Poe: But... I.....Fine. Look Hugs, we won’t forget this. I won’t forget this.
Hux nods in silent pain. Finn and Poe run off.
Hux: Well, I’ve been shot in the leg, and my boyfriend has run off with the guy who shot me. This day just can’t get any worse.
*Stormtroopers march in, led by General Pryde. They point their weapons at Hux*
Hux: Oh look, I was wrong.
Merry Christmas to all of you and to the glorious ghost of Ben Solo x
The great unfinished character arc of Finn
Finn had the potential to be one of the great Star Wars characters, but his story is left weirdly unfinished at the end of TROS, and it annoys me. Here’s why.
1. The Stormtrooper angle
From the start, the idea of a Stormtrooper-turned-good was a fascinating one. It introduced the tragic idea of the children the Empire stole and brainwashed to become obedient killing machines. Would we see Finn wrestle with the moral dilemma of whether he could fight and kill old friends, fellow victims of the Empire, men and women who could potentially, like him, be turned to the light? Would we see a rescue mission to save the poor abducted children?
No. We wouldn’t. Even when he finally meets a fellow Stormtrooper-turned-good in TROS, and the moment for this kind of complex and inspiring storyline to get going seems to arrive, we get....nothing. Just more careless shooting of Stormtroopers, without a care in the world.
2. Life and love
After Finn breaks the chains of the Empire, he seems to care for little but his own escape... until he bonds with Poe, and then Rey, and starts to realise that he cares more for them than his own safety. Turns out, Finn needs someone to love as much as he needs to be safe; perhaps more.
In TLJ, Rose is added to this list, as Finn forges a new, possibly romantic bond. Then in TROS, he meets yet another potential soulmate, Janna, as well as sharing a lot more chemistry-filled screentime with his old flame Poe and charging around after his original crush, Rey.
But do any of these intriguing relationships, these potential life partnerships, come to anything? Nope. Platonic hugs all round.
3. The Force
TFA brought the first clues that Finn might be force-sensitive; who can forget that heart-stopping first shot of him wielding the light saber?
This thread is picked up (sort of) in TROS, where he talks vaguely about getting ‘a feeling’ that he thinks is the force and, at one point, senses Rey’s presence from afar. He even tries to tell Rey about it (we think) at one point, but then... he never does.
And that’s it. Another potentially fascinating aspect of Finn’s character just...peters out, like the writers didn’t know what to do about it.
Finn was a good character. He could have had a great story arc. But he didn’t. Boo.
The fight against Palpatine: An alternative ending
Of the many things that bothered me about The Rise of Skywalker, the climactic fight scene between Rey, Ben and Palpatine has been particularly playing on my mind. The whole ‘flinging Ben Solo randomly down a pit’ thing in particular seems like a strange decision. Instead, how about:
Ben and Rey rush together, their eyes meeting. He has come for her. She is not alone. Together, they turn to face Palpatine.
Palpatine: Ah! A dyad in the force. This I had not foreseen. But now your combined power shall enable me to live once again!
Palpatine draws the life force out of Ben and Rey, regenerating himself. They slump to the ground.
Palpatine laughs evilly, and sends his lightning power skywards to destroy the rebel fleet.
All seems to be lost.
But slowly, Rey and Ben stir. Painfully, they reach out for each other, their hands touching. They look at each other. Neither has the strength to stand.
Anakin: Ben.
Luke: Rey.
Rey and Ben’s eyes widen.
Yoda: Rise, Rey.
Obi Wan: Rise, Ben Solo.
Mace Windu: Feel the Force.
Qui Gon Jin: Every Jedi who ever lived, lives in you two.
Ahsoka: Find the light.
Anakin: Bring balance to the force. Rise.
Slowly, painfully, Ben and Rey get to their feet. Palpatine notices, and laughs.
Palpatine: You should know when you are defeated. Now, you shall both die. And with your deaths, the Jedi will end. The Skywalker line will be forgotten.
He starts to shoot his power towards Rey and Ben. They cross their lightsabers, pushing back against him, their power combining to equal his. As they push harder, Rey’s own lightning power crackles through the sabers.
Palpatine: You cannot defeat me! I am all the Sith!
Rey: And we are all the Jedi.
Ben looks over to her, and she back to him. In a moment of complete peace, the lightning dies out of their crossed sabers, and a wave of power emanates out of them, part light, part dark, pushing the Emperor’s lightning back onto him, devouring him.
As he falls, so do Rey and Ben, collapsing with the effort of the fight, their power exhausted. Half in each other’s arms, they gaze into each other’s eyes.
Rey: I am glad we ended it like this, Ben. Together.
Ben smiles at her, his first true smile. With a last effort, they reach for each other.
I mean, I don’t know how I would like it to end after that. It would be nice to think they could survive, and be together, and at peace, and happy at last. But even if they died, or if Ben used his last ounce of strength to save Rey, that would be OK. I just think that they should have fought this last battle together; that it should have been their combined power, their dyad, that defeated the Emperor and brought balance to the force. That Anakin should have spoken to his grandson at the last, to see his legacy fulfilled.
That’s all.
Avengers Board Game Night
Steve: Really? Board games? We don’t have anything more important to be doing?
Tony: Nope. Peaceful as anything. You’ll like board games, Cap, they’ve moved on a lot since your day.
Steve: I’m not that old, Tony, we did have board games when I was young.
Tony: Great! So you’ll already know how to play Monopoly?
Natasha: We are NOT playing Monopoly.
Tony: Why not?
Natasha: It’s a horrible game, that makes people act cruelly.
Tony: It’s based on simple capitalism....
Natasha: Exactly. I’ve played it with you before, Tony, remember? *shudders*
Bruce: Well how about Trivial Pursuit? I like Trivial Pursuit.
Clint: That’s because you know all the answers.
Tony: Yeah, and your copy is really old, Bruce, it wouldn’t be fair on the kid. Or on Thor.
Peter: Hey? Why not?
Thor: Yes, why should I not triumph?
Natasha: It’s all questions about old TV shows and stuff.
Thor: Oh.
Tony: I still remember you not letting me have that Russia question because the card says Soviet Union. I mean, who still thinks of Russia as the Soviet Union?
Steve: I do.
Peter: Ooh when I was little we played this really old game, Risk.
Bruce: That’s not an old board game, Peter. It’s a classic.
Peter: Isn’t classic just another way of saying old?
Tony: I don’t see how Risk is supposed to be a kinder game than Monopoly.
Natasha: You’re right, there’s too much conflict. You lot are too competitive as it is. Can’t we just play Twister?
Clint: Oh yeah, because there’s no conflict in Twister. Anyway, you’re just saying that because you always win Twister.
Natasha: Exactly.
Bruce: I wouldn’t mind playing Twister with Nat.
Tony: Of course you wouldn’t.
Thor: What is Twister?
Steve: Search me.
Peter: It’s a physical game...
Thor: Excellent! Let’s play.
*******
*Half an hour later*
Steve: Bad luck, Bruce.
Bruce: I’m just too old for Twister, I guess.
Thor: *moodily* Yes, this Twister is a young man’s game.
Clint: Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Tony: *falling* Aaaah crap.
Natasha: Out, Tony.
Peter: You may as well give up, Miss Widow. I’ve never lost a game of Twister.
Natasha: Ha! You’re about to find out what that’s like, young man. Spin the thing, Bruce!
Bruce: Right leg red, Nat.
Clint: We are going to be here forever.
Steve: Looks like it. It almost makes me want disaster to strike the earth.
The Dead Don’t Die (2019) dir. Jim Jarmusch
Maybe I’m just biased but there is something immensely satisfying about the way Adam Driver chops off zombies heads in this movie. Honestly, it’s a real pleasure to watch. A craftsman at work.
Flerkens
OK I just watched Captain Marvel for the first time since the cinema and realised that I may have been mistaken about Flerkens. This was my initial thought:
1. Flerkens are aliens that disguise themselves as earth cats
BUT now I am thinking that this may be the truth
2. All earth cats are actually Flerkens
Somebody help me out here
Mahershala Ali is going to be Blade.
Taika Waititi is making another Thor film.
Loki is coming back.
What a nice day.
Why Yondu should not have sacrificed himself for Peter Quill
OK, so I recently rewatched Guardians of the Galaxy 2 and the death of Yondu hit me much harder than it did the first time. Partly that is because he is such a great character and it is so beautifully done, but partly it is because I have now seen Infinity War and Endgame and know how it all pans out.
So here is why Yondu should not have given up his life, but let Peter Quill perish instead (sorry Star-Lord fans).
1. When the Guardians meet Thor in Infinity War, there would be no tension or rivalry without Peter there. The whole team could have stuck together. Gamora would probably have been keen to stick with Thor, and therefore not gotten herself captured to give away the location of the Soul Stone.
2. Even if she had, there would have been no Peter to go mad about this, and punch Thanos JUST AS IRON MAN WAS GETTING THE GLOVE OFF HIM. Yondu would, in any case, have been more useful than Peter in this fight, because his arrow thing is so incredibly deadly.
3. If, instead, he had ended up in team Pirate Angel at the Battle of Wakanda, he could have done huge amounts of damage and bought more time for Shuri to get the stone out of Vision’s head.
4. Even if the dusting had still happened and Yondu had gone at this point, he would have been amazing in the final battle of Endgame when they got him back.
5. My daughter would not have cried for ten solid minutes, because she loves Yondu so much more than Peter Quill. She would also now not have a life-long emotional overreaction to Cat Stevens.
So, in summary, I wish Yondu had survived.
Book Island
So here is my idea: Book Island. Like Love Island, you see, but with books instead of sex. Stay with me here.
A group of ordinary looking people are flown off to a luxury villa on a Spanish island. Once there, they are presented with a choice of books. A real variety of books, not just classics; some trashy sci-fi, some teen horror, a bit of everything. Each of them must pick a book, read it, sleep next to it, and have endless little chats with the other islanders about it.
If they wish, contestants may attempt to steal other islanders books when they are not looking - when they are in the shower, making breakfast etc. The newly un-booked islander can accept the thief’s rejected book or attempt to steal another book.
Every so often, NEW books arrive at the villa, and the islanders may, if they choose, abandon their old book and take up with one of the new books.
Books that no-one wants, or islanders who do not want to read any of the available books, are dumped from the island. Reading more than one book at a time is frowned upon, and repeat offenders will be dumped from the island.
At the end of six weeks, all remaining islanders will make an impassioned speech about why their book is best, why they love it more than all the other contestants love their books.
The winner (voted for by the millions of viewers I imagine will watch this programme) gets £50,000 worth of book tokens and lives happily ever after.
Looking forward to seeing this in production soon.
Yes. this is amazing.
Reblogging mainly for Loki as wine aunt and Quill as child, but would personally switch Doctor Strange up to great at babysitting. As well as being wise, medically trained and a great entertainer he could literally turn back time if anything went wrong.
“Oh I spilt my juice!”
“No you didn’t.”
The Avengers on Love Island
So here is the answer to a question no-one has asked; how would the Avengers (here loosely taken as they were constituted at the beginning of Infinity War) fare on Love Island?
1. Thor. Thor is made for Love Island. Thor would get all the votes and win Love Island. I think that's pretty obvious. Probably with Valkyrie or, following a last minute twist, with Bruce Banner.
2. Black Widow. Gorgeous, clever, a master of manipulation, Black Widow would be a natural fit for Love Island. Would come second, probably with Hawkeye (see below) who she finally stepped in to save from elimination.
3.Captain America. The honourable one who is actually looking for love, Cap would be picked up and dumped by a woman who didn’t deserve him, then spend episodes moping around before Bucky finally turned up to save him.
4. Iron Man. Not the biggest guy, but he has the BANTER. Would irritate viewers at first, then slowly win them around as it became clear that his feelings for Pepper Potts were, amazingly, genuine.
5. Black Panther. Basically the perfect man; genuine, honourable, caring, handsome and an actual king. Should clearly win the show with Nakia, but wouldn’t because the show is famously racist.
6. Falcon. As with T’Challa, a great guy (though not a king) who falls prey to the show’s traditional problem with race, and ends up voted off near the end. At least he found love first. Lovely Leila.
7. Spiderman. Too young, too sweet, too naive, Peter would be messed around by the girl he set his heart on and leave the villa in tears halfway through the show. He deserved better.
8. Ant-Man. Great banter, the viewers love him, and after a few tricky starts the Wasp arrives to be his true match. Unfortunately, he chooses to leave the show early to get home to his daughter’s school play.
9. Scarlet Witch. An unlikely Love Island contestant, who shuns the sun and does not do small talk, Wanda forms an instant connection with the previously rejected-by-everyone-as-too-weird Vision. They get no screen time, and so no-one gets to appreciate how genuinely in love they are.
10. Vision. See Scarlet Witch above.
11. Hawkeye. Doesn’t have time for anyone’s shit, and happily married so really shouldn’t be in there. Saved by Black Widow though (see above) to form a winning friendship pair as she can’t stand the guy she was previously paired up with.
12. Bruce Banner. Sarcastic and nerdy, was struggling to enjoy himself even before that infamous episode where Tony Stark wound him up and made him Hulk out and smash up the villa. Even Thor can’t save him from the anger of the producers.
Yes, I know, I have spent too much time thinking about this.
Personally I think that Bran's potent mixture of zen like calm and gnomic utterances will be a pleasant change of pace for Westeros
Find your REAL Angel name
• First two letters of your last name • First vowel of your first name • Third letter of your middle name (or parent’s first name if you don’t have a middle name • Last consonant of your last name • Add IEL or EL to the end!
I’m fucking Flargel
Vairvel :0
Scectiel
Oacsiel
….shatniel….
Rhesiel
Jealsiel
Daeysiel (omg I love it)
diinniel
was i mocked? yes
Haashiel
Alrighty then
Haaeniel
I’ll take it
Coeakiel ?
noacliel
oh lord
Breakel
What the fuck
Esarhiel
Huh, not bad
Foanriel (pronounced Foe-on-REE-ell bc otherwise it sounds stupid)
Beiakiel / Beiakel
……………………..huh.
@its-marfn-time Beiakel sounds cool you could pronounce it BEE-uh-kell
Neaemel
schweet
Rualriel
Reairel
Huh
There can only be one of us with similar names
Joawsel
Haaetiel
Lsiesiel
holy crap that’s a mouthful
Ananciel
Beaeyel
can someone pronounce that for me pls?
Baaisel
Uhm
Like basil? Because what a coincidence thats the name of my uncle! Odd…
i thought basil when i saw it too lmao
Faeasiel\Faeasel
Osotniel/Osotnel
GREAT
Clainiel
Calsriel
Both are good
gialniel
Meentiel
Edansiel or Edansel
Aliesel. Neat
Maatdiel NANI?
Mceanel
Shittiel!
I win, right?
Thoughts on GoT Season 8: Episode 5
OK, so I have had some time to process now and I have some thoughts which I am going to share on the latest episode of GoT. Apologies in advance, I know many people will disagree with me.
1. I am aware that a lot of fans really, really hated this episode, particularly those who wanted Jaime to become a better man or Dany to become the good queen Westeros needed. I’m not one of them. There were things right with this episode, and things wrong with it, but overall I thought it was a fascinating watch.
2. Firstly, Jaime and Cersei reuniting and dying in each others arms. For me, this worked beautifully. Yes, I like Brienne, but her and Jaime never made sense to me. He was always so obsessed with Cersei, and despite moments of honourable behaviour (particularly towards Brienne and Tyrion) he was always basically a selfish character, caring only for himself, Cersei and their children. It made sense that he went back to her in the end. Clearly, I do not like Cersei, because she’s evil, but she has been a terrific character, beautifully acted, and such a crucial part of a great series that I was glad she got that emotional death scene, all her plans and power crumbling around her, in the arms of the only person who ever really understood her, the man she was born with.
3. Jon. I feel like I could have done with more of an insight into what Jon is thinking in this episode. His expression is increasingly confused. He seems to be pulling away from Dany, although it is unclear whether this is because she is his aunt (why the hell have the two of them never even talked about this?) or because her actions are starting to frighten him. At the same time, he seems to be sticking doggedly with her, unable or unwilling to do anything else. Presumably, this episode is supposed to provide the final straw which makes him reject her, but I don’t think it should have needed that much.
4. Dany. I will confess here that I have never been a huge Dany fan. She has always been so nakedly ambitious, so absolutely convinced of her right to rule, that I have found her hard to root for; an attitude like that tends to make a tyrant. She has never seemed overly worried about killing people in pursuit of her goal, and this was always going to be a point of difference between her and Jon. She has also been visibly on the edge for a few episodes, with understandable grief about her lost dragon, Ser Jorah and Missandei, as well as the fracturing of her relationship with Jon (although I would argue that she handled the news of his parentage really badly, showing that she cared far more about her claim to the throne than about him). I can understand how, in this mental state, she could snap, and be far more brutal than she would otherwise have been in the assault on King’s Landing.
But. I think it is a HUGE leap from that to slaughtering every innocent man, woman and child in the city and razing it to the ground. As well as demonstrating a vicious sadism and cruelty, which she never has before, this makes zero sense if she actually intends to rule Westeros. In my opinion, the episode would have made much more sense if she had ignored the surrender bells, blazed a path to the keep and razed it to the ground, showing her fury and bloodthirsty desire for revenge on Cersei (which would, in my opinion, have been entirely in character) and causing enough unintended civilian casualties to worry Jon and Tyrion, but not then going on to kill everyone in a totally unjustifiable way. We are being pushed towards the conclusion that Dany has simply gone insane, the old ‘mad Targaryen’ idea, and that is, in my opinion, slightly lazy writing.
5. Arya and the Hound. I thought these two had a great dynamic, was glad they got a proper moment together, and was glad that the Cleganes finally faced off. It was a gruesome and awful fight, in old-fashioned Thrones style, and even if the Mountain was unrealistically hard to kill, it was poetic to have the brothers falling into the flames and rubble together. Arya, on the other hand, spent far too much of the episode wandering around covered in dust, although I get that they are trying to ram home the whole traumatic, this-will-change-the-way-she-feels-about-Dany thing.
6. Tyrion and Varys. I may be the only person who thinks this, but Tyrion and Varys have been my two favourite characters for a while now. I loved their whole dynamic. I was sad to see Varys die, as he did clearly have the best interests of Westeros at heart, and I think the same is probably coming to Tyrion, who is also a heavily flawed but surprisingly moral character who has really kept me watching all these years. I thought their conversations, and Tyrion’s betrayal of his friend, beautifully set up the choice that everyone is having to make about whether Dany is really the best person to rule Westeros, taking us all into that debate with them and making us try to pick a side.
Just for the record, I think that they were both wrong. Dany is too tyrannical to be a good queen, and showed in Essos that her heart lay not in government, but in conquest. Jon is not clever or cynical enough to hold the Iron Throne.
I still have no idea how this will all end, but I look forward to finding out.