i'm here. how weird

i wasn’t trying to make a sentence—i was trying to break free. ao3 | coffee | ask | fic

[wilsherejack]

hi everyone i updated my fic master list for the first time in years, so check that out if you’re looking for reading material! would like to recommend crossed out, which i’ve decided is one of the best things i’ve ever written, and also acoustic (the nerve ending remix), which is cute tbh

[wilsherejack]

miss writing abt gay people playing sports :(

[snoopyetc]

ilya rozanov funny moments pt. 1

[wilsherejack]

feels a bit silly to ask but should i watch heated rivalry

[wilsherejack]

yes you learn more about Jeremy's trauma in tgr. not everything is revealed but SPOILERS he had a drug problem and when he was high/at a gay sex party (REAL) he left his suicidal brother alone and his family blames him for the brother's death.

what the fuck???? LMFAOOOOO??? that’s crazy??

[wilsherejack]

I don’t even know if you do asks anymore, or if this has been asked/answered, but do you know about Jeremy’s backstory/trauma revealed in tgr? If you do, what are your thoughts on it? Be mean, if you feel so inclined. I’m going crazy.

i haven’t read it but i feel like everyone is being really cryptic in my asks can yall just tell me what happens so i can react accordingly

[wilsherejack]

dying to know which parts of playing on anon thinks nora stole bc ive read it a lot of times and i really cant think of anything

got several of these messages. thank you im very happy i do not need to read this book

[wilsherejack]

You haven’t been here in a while but. In case u see this. I have a feeling N*ra might have slightly plagiarized playing on in the second Jean/jeremy book some things just feel um. Too fucking familiar. Oops?

??? pls elaborate

[wilsherejack]

was looking through my hard drive and found this fun start to a fic i never wrote. the doc was called "what if they started dating later." wish i had finished it because it sounds fun !

It’s because Jeremy is in red and gold, or because this game is halfway across the country and Jean can’t sleep on planes, or because they only really see each other for exy stuff now. That’s what Jean tells himself after, when he’s on a chartered bus to the airport and Ryan is asking him if he’s started betting on games or something, “because there’s no other reason you’d set up a goal for the opposing fucking team Jesus fucking Christ Moreau.”

He closes his eyes against the bumping of the bus. Even this many years later, sleep deprivation slams him back into Castle Evermore and doubled up days. He says, “He intercepted it. I didn’t pass it to him.”

Unfortunately, he’s lying. Jeremy was wearing the same number he wore in college, the same colors, that same determined gaze, the same quick smile. The way he carries his racquet, holds his shoulders, so familiar Jean fell back into old patterns. Jeremy texted him after, a cheeky thanks Moreau Jean isn’t equipped to laugh at yet, but it’s an awful mistake his first pro season. The only thing looking anywhere near a silver lining is that it’s a meaningless game, the last one of the regular season, already qualified for playoffs and about to go on break for the holidays.

His fuck up is playing on replay at the airport bar, where muted ESPN talking heads are no doubt shit talking him or making the same jokes about match fixing as his teammates. It’s on replay on Twitter, which he exits in irritation because someone resurfaced the old rumors about him and Jeremy fucking. It’s on replay in the Trojans Whatsapp group, where Laila and Alvarez are sending emoji recreations back and forth. When he gets home and climbs into bed it’s still on replay on the insides of his eyelids, an error he would’ve gotten crucified for just a few years ago, this time a meme that’ll fade into obscurity as soon as the next round of football games kicks off.

His phone vibrates on his nightstand. Jean watches it glow in the darkness for two, three, four rings before picking up.

“You’re still up?” Jeremy says. Jean missed the sound of his voice in private, no competitive edge, all warmth.

“Can’t sleep,” Jean says, sitting up. “You may not have heard. I made a game-losing mistake today.”

Jeremy’s laugh takes Jean back to his first weeks at USC, when Jeremy was all over him, smothering, constantly trying to make him feel at home. It worked, eventually.

“Thanks again, bestie,” Jeremy says, then, “I hope you’re not getting too much shit. People fumble passes all the time.”

“I did not fumble a pass.”

Another laugh. “I knew it. You forget what year it is?”

“Maybe I just miss playing with a competent striker.”

“So mean. Meyers isn’t so bad.”

“No, but he didn’t win Rookie of the Year last season.”

“So true. Sucks for you. Listen, I actually didn’t call to flirt, if you can believe that.”

“That does not sound like you.”

“Are you going to be in LA for Laila and Alvarez’s Christmas party? I wanted to coordinate. Seeing you today reminded me how much I miss you.”

So he did call to flirt. Jean sighs. “Yes, I will be in LA the entire break.”

“Can you text me your hotel deets?”

“You want to share a room?”

“Who’s flirting now? No, I just know you’ve probably done your research and I want to mooch off your hard work.”

“Like you did today?”

Jean can hear the smile in Jeremy’s voice when he says, “Exactly.”

“I’m getting there Wednesday night,” Jean says. Then, “I miss you, too.”

“And … booked,” Jeremy says. “I’ll see you Wednesday night. Let’s get drinks.”

[lukeawesm]

'who are they?' 'the monsters.'

twilight!au

[fellshish]

Fic comments are also like a way of validation from the reader that you’re not a weirdo for writing fanfic. That someone was waiting for you to write that. Needed it. Weirdo4weirdo reassurance

[wilsherejack]

hey so, this is my first ask ever, and you dont really need to answer it. But i just wanted to say that im reading playing on for the first time, and am loving it so far (its probably one of the best fics ive ever read). I was never that deep into aftg to read fics, but after reading tsc i thought i should delve in, and im so glad i did. Also i completely agree with your take on tsc, you put it better than i ever could. But after going through your blog ive noticed you keep censoring nora's name? and sometimes being too overly critical of things about her. i understand you're a hater, and i dont disrespect it, you have full rights to hate. but i think the name censoring and stuff is a bit much? like am i missing something? did she do something horrible to deserve it? like i havent been a real part of the fandom so i am not aware of any controversies. afaik she's just written an angsty book series that uses torture for plot a lot, but still its a book series with characters we've grown so attached to. or is it just trolling? (im too dense to understand that on my own, sorry). either way, i just wanted to say the name censoring thing isnt quite sitting right with me, and id like to know the reason for doing so, if thats okay (sorry if there are any mistakes, im a not native speaker and in the middle of finals, so i definitely cannot english rn properly, and i honestly dont have enough motivation to fix them. idek why im sending an ask. ig this has just been in my head, and i wanted to clear my mind. its been cluttered lately)

it’s really not that deep i just think it’s funny plus don’t want to come up on searches

[wilsherejack]

hi! not sure if this has been asked before, sorry if it has but will you be writing jerejean again some day? miss it dearly. playing on is def the best thing in the jj tag

this is sweet thank you! there is some other jerejean on my ao3 account. honestly i don’t love tsc and i don’t particularly want to play with those characters so it’s a big “meh” right now but never say never

[wilsherejack]

i think my biggest issue w tsc so far (about 25% in, bee is taking jean to the foxhole court) is that i always imagined jean as someone who, once he was out of the dark, wanted to heal. more than neil or andrew or kevin, i imagine him seizing the opportunity of neil’s deal with ichirou and becoming a real human. i’m pretty early still so maybe that’s coming but it’s depressing to read jean this broken. i also feel like there are ways to write a character with trauma without making them a victim of CSA but not my call ig!!!

[wilsherejack]

that being said, i love Kevin Day

[wilsherejack]

THAT being said, i wish she would grow out of the anime bad guy dialogue. also not sure but i don’t think CPTSD makes you forget how to use contractions. not sure tho

[wilsherejack]

not gonna lie this is a struggle to get through. feels like there’s a lot of filler (lots of scenes where we get paragraphs of “a character stands up, then walks over to the TV, then turns it on, then sits back down”), a shitton of characters, and no discernible plot 40% of the way in. i wanted to like this more than i do but maybe ive grown out of it. this is gonna get me canceled but it feels like reading a jerejean fanfiction in 2016 before we all shifted to making them all go to therapy. not even a good one but one with like a million tags that’s dark for the sake of being dark.

[wilsherejack]

but if you hate Nora and think Aftg is all trauma porn why do you keep reading it and complaining??

because i want to???

[lonelyroommp3]

"you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me" meme and the picture is just fanart of fanon les amis de l'abc circa 2013

[lonelyroommp3]

"you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me" meme and it's the #wank for ts tag of a les mis blogger with a -jolras url and an aaron tveit flower crown icon

[lonelyroommp3]

“you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” meme and it’s abaisse.the-barricade.net

[wilsherejack]

i think my biggest issue w tsc so far (about 25% in, bee is taking jean to the foxhole court) is that i always imagined jean as someone who, once he was out of the dark, wanted to heal. more than neil or andrew or kevin, i imagine him seizing the opportunity of neil’s deal with ichirou and becoming a real human. i’m pretty early still so maybe that’s coming but it’s depressing to read jean this broken. i also feel like there are ways to write a character with trauma without making them a victim of CSA but not my call ig!!!

[wilsherejack]

that being said, i love Kevin Day

[wilsherejack]

THAT being said, i wish she would grow out of the anime bad guy dialogue. also not sure but i don’t think CPTSD makes you forget how to use contractions. not sure tho