Max Emerson
Husband material, right over there.

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@wingedankles
Max Emerson
Husband material, right over there.
“i saw the messages on your phone.”
“So? It’s not like I don’t know about your other flings. We’re not meant for monogamy.”
“Not those messages. The ones about the football games. You didn’t even invite me!”
jealous / possessive meme pt. 3
“he/she looks at you like they want to fuck you.”
“i saw the messages on your phone.”
“why did he/she call you so late?”
“you don’t get how many people want you.”
“i can’t let you get close to anyone, they might steal you away.”
“did he/she really just touch you in front of me?”
“are you cheating on me?”
“my friend saw you with him/her, i thought we talked about this.”
“you’re supposed to be mine, why do you talk to him/her?”
“choose. it’s me or it’s him/her. you can’t have both.”
“he/she can’t love you like i do.”
“you’re lying to me.”
“you told me he/she wasn’t going.”
“i think i’d know when someone is flirting with you, i did it first remember?”
“i can’t believe you’re taking his/her side.”
it-equals-alchemy started following you
“Your shoes are untied.”
“Really?” Zach looked down. Sure enough, they were. “Son of a bitch. Thanks.”
“I think your fly’s open, too.”
testing testing hello?
"I got barraged at the grocery store by photographers... I blame you."
“Wait, how is that my fault?”
Pan usually avoided reading tabloids, but know he left the groceries on the table and pulled out his phone. “Apparently. There are spreads on us in every magazine, people are taken by storm because we act just like a straight couple would out in public.” His eyes rolled.
"Sweet!” Hermes cheered. “Dude, we gotta keep this up! We’re gonna be hot hot hot!”
Pan gripped the phone tightly as he brought it to his ear. This could either go well or fail horribly. "Umm, hey dad. I was hoping you could maybe come and... bailmeoutofjail?" He sped through the last half as he crossed his fingers. This was his only call and he hoped he hadn't wasted it.
“Bail you out of jail?”
Hermes started giggling. “Oh man, you’re in jail? That’s awesome! But, uh, why would I bail you out when I can just break you out?”
Despite his father’s excitement, Pan couldn’t help but feel some anxiety. Still, he nodded. Hermes hadn’t always been the most involved father, but Pan trusted his dad. It’s why he called the god in the first place. “I was kind of going for an Ocean’s 11 vibe but I-”
“Eh-hem.” The officer feigned a cough to get the two’s attention. He looked over at Pan with a look of confusion before turning back to the handsome blonde. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. But for now, you’re good to go. Just make sure he’s at his hearing or he will definitely be going to jail.” With that, the man gathered his papers and left, leaving Pan and his father in the room.
Pan looked at his father. The whole situation was rather awkward to say the least.
“So, uh, I guess I owe you a drink or something, don’t I? For bailing me out and all.”
“Aw, man, there’s a hearing and stuff?” Hermes sighed and shrugged helplessly. “Well all right. If you insiiiiist.”
He grinned at the officer’s back as the man left, then turned back to Pan.
“Psh, buy me a drink? I should be buying you one! I’m so proud! You almost pulled it off, too!”
“He is far to busy out hunting and making up the lost time after being trapped in the Underworld for all those months, Apollo. Surely you have all people would have known that?” She giggled: “He even went out a few times without me. You would have thought after the whole Ares boar incident he would learned the mistake. But nah, all he promised me is he will not go anywhere near a lone animal who does not appeared to scare of humans. But…bah, let’s not talk about him for the moment. We have a shopping spree to worry about.”
“Let’s see. it is why I pick Elie Saab, my dear. It’s quite a practical sort of haute couture. I can wear them daily and go to soree without worrying too much about it. The design will not overtake my natural beauty. Some clothes do that, especially the mortal ones. You know that, right?”
Apollo snorts. “I am still watching him. No man is allowed to be more attractive than I.”
He smiles wryly and pats his sister’s hand. “Indeed, shopping sprees and fashion are more important than gossip about boys when you are in need of new dresses. What do you think of this one?”
The sun god walked up and ran his fingertips down a blue and green gown.
❝Well ain't ya adorable.❞
“I try! How are ya, lady?”
Pan gripped the phone tightly as he brought it to his ear. This could either go well or fail horribly. "Umm, hey dad. I was hoping you could maybe come and... bailmeoutofjail?" He sped through the last half as he crossed his fingers. This was his only call and he hoped he hadn't wasted it.
“Bail you out of jail?”
Hermes started giggling. “Oh man, you’re in jail? That’s awesome! But, uh, why would I bail you out when I can just break you out?”
Pan cringed, waiting for the officer to throw them both back in the cell. But he didn’t do that.
“Mmhmm.” he mumbled like a man who has seen much stranger things. “Well, Mr. Hermes, your boy here caused quite a commotion at the impound lot. A witness says he ordered a group of squirrels to attack a guard while he, 2 raccoons, an barn owl, and a cougar tried to steal a Lamborghini.”
“Actually, Francisco is a great horned owl.” Pan interjected, much to the officers displeasure.
“Be quiet.” he said in a very annoyed, take-no-shit, fashion. He could accept the men before him were odd, but he wasn’t going to be lectured on owls. “The man had the get stitches, Mr. Hermes. Your son could be facing some serious charges. You understand that, right?”
Pan gulped. “ Please don’t let them take me to jail.” he whispered in his father’s ear.
Hermes listened, his grin only widening as the police officer went on and on. He puffed his chest out in pride and glanced back at his son after the officer finished.
“Aww, jail? No way! Why would I let a kid who’s done these awesome things go to jail? Seriously, you got a cougar into her Lamborghini?”
The Olympian smiled brightly and turned back to the police man. His eyes flashed and his grin widened just a little more.
“It’s all right, Officer. We’ll pay for the man’s medical bills. My son here won’t be going to prison -- or even court. I mean look at that face. Do you think he’d survive a day in jail with that face? Besides, when you think about the whole picture did he really do anything that bad?”
Pan is just like "Dad just put a shirt on!" *facepalm*
“NEVER!”
“If I told you I was actually awake before noon today, would you believe me?”
“Liar.” Hermes stuck out his tongue.
“Hey, Ares is another form of beauty, if you know how to look. But I have been called biased by many so I am not going to waste my breath on that Though I think you got Adonis and Narcissus mixed up. Adonis does think himself dashing. It’s a confidence I installed inside his pretty head since he was young. He would not dare to compare himself to you, I would think. Whilst Narcissus….. well, he thinks himself eve more beautiful than me. “
“It’s a reason I picked Ellie Saab, my dear. Their colour is usually powdery, soft and elegant. And their style….it remind me a lot of what mortal used to wear in ancient Greece. You should take a look. But wait….I don’t think they do male…?”
Apollo snorted again. “You are indeed biased by Ares. I don’t know what you see in that brute, and I doubt I ever will. It always seemed to me that you only started sleeping with him out of spite toward our father.”
“But if it makes you happy, I suppose I should not judge. I am still watching Adonis. If he ever makes even the slightest thought that he is more handsome than I, then he will regret it immediately. There is no man better looking than I.”
He looked the store over and pursed his lips. “Mm, indeed, male fashion is much less prominent among mortals these days. It’s a shame, because a well-dressed beautiful man is one of the greatest treasures in the world. It is one of the things you do very well with Adonis. Now, are we looking for haute couture or ready to wear?”
Pan gripped the phone tightly as he brought it to his ear. This could either go well or fail horribly. "Umm, hey dad. I was hoping you could maybe come and... bailmeoutofjail?" He sped through the last half as he crossed his fingers. This was his only call and he hoped he hadn't wasted it.
“Bail you out of jail?”
Hermes started giggling. “Oh man, you’re in jail? That’s awesome! But, uh, why would I bail you out when I can just break you out?”
Pan could tell the officers were giving the father-son pair a weird look. They didn’t look alike, Hermes being a tall, fit, blonde modelesque man and his son being a short, round, unappealing mess, not to mention how they both looked to be around the same age.
“Ixnay on the onsay.” He muttered to his dad. He probably should have used real latin but who has time to remember a dead language after spending a few hours in a jail cell.
“But yeah. Auntie Aph is not gonna be happy with me. She started a war over an apple. I don’t know what she’s gonna do to me when she finds out I didn’t get the Lambo back.” He sighed, taking a seat next to the god as the officer sorted some paper work and began to look the messenger over.
“So, Mr… Hermes? Is it? You say this man is your son?”
Hermes just grinned. “That’s okay, kiddo.” The messenger god slung an arm around Pan’s shoulders and squeezed affectionately. “We’ll calm Aphy down. I’m good at that. Everyone likes me. Even her. You know she and I have some kids, right?”
The god perked up as the officer addressed him. He was there in a flash, smiling winningly.
“He is!” Hermes said proudly. “My baby boy. I couldn’t be prouder.”
Max Emerson