Greetings from Krampus… Have you been naughty?
Why not purchase a Krampus box this year? No good behavior grift, you buy this gift with money (because that is how commerce works). No fears of lumps of coal this year, this 6x6x6 black box is stuffed full of $200+ worth of jewelry, witchcraft, perversions, fossils, trinkets, mirth and stickers for only $150. And in keeping with the seasonal bribes under the tree, the actual contents of this box will be a mystery to surprise and delight you. If you don't like anything in the box, feel free to stuff it in someone else's stocking. Each box contains 12-13 items (or more), so you might be able to find gifts for you AND your friends (or be greedy and keep the goodies).
PS: I, Krampus, do solemnly swear, this box does not contain the head of Santa Claus. Nor does it contain a dozen tiny elves who will invade you in your sleep. However, you may set the box on fire and dance around it if that makes you rest better. Just don't ask for a refund for your emotional support arson.
PPS: I do not do B&E, this box will arrive by post. I do not know where you live, nor do I stalk you year-round. You will have to provide your address and wait.
boxes available here:
https://witchfulthinkingaira.etsy.com