No One Lives Here

I used to be chloe and im still her 

[witchinghhour-blog]

 WRONG BLOG!!!!!! dam it

[witchinghhour-blog]

to my friends who I love.... please follow me on my other blog..... I miss you..... God Bless

[witchinghhour-blog]

I made a new blog for real this time im gently following ppl on it

[witchinghhour-blog]

url is fauxcets

[witchinghhour-blog]

I made a new blog for real this time im gently following ppl on it

[witchinghhour-blog]

im making a new blog today too many ppl are reblogging me and saying dumba$$ sh*t and its making me feel like a clenched fist when I read it anyway all of the content on this blog I Hereby Declare to be copyrighted by me and if u steal it I will haunt you on the astral plane

[witchinghhour-blog]

how could I find closure in a situation that will be unresolved? my ex partner treated me poorly but I know that he thinks (or at least tells himself to alleviate guilt...) that I'm crazy. I don't have or want any contact with him, and I know he's just emotionally immature but I find myself fixated on the fact that I will always be seen by him as a bitch with no self control. I don't owe him anything but I still feel the need to justify myself to him. by the way, you are an angel 🌸

unfortunately, I don't think that there is closure in a proper sensesometimes when I feel the way you do (and I still do, sometimes!), like I have lost my bearings and my narrative is wrong, like I am obsessed with getting my abuser's rubber stamp of Truth, I refocus myself on the pain I felt at the time, because in the context of feeling uncertain and lost, pain is a map. the feeling of pain is one of the few things in this world that is inarguable and certain there are many things you can waste your time arguing over with someone who has hurt you: causation, intention, etc... these things you will never be able to prove without a doubt, because they don't exist within the action itself. most of the time even to the agent of the action, causality and intention are not transparent or within the action itself. they are the shadow reality casts....not so with pain. pain is in-the-moment itself. no amount of arguing with it suppresses it indefinitely, it is always there, and to have to argue against it only proves its existence further... when you put your hand to a hot stove the blister is not something that can be rationalized away. it exists, undoubtedly. to heal, you start with the pain that snatched your hand from the stove, and you work forwards from there. pain is justification in-itself. you are always allowed to decide the pain (regardless of cause! regardless of intention! regardless of magnitude!) is beyond a threshold you can handle, and you are always allowed to remove yourself from a person in whose presence you feel it. Your pain does not need to be something the other person agrees with. Your pain does not need to be a consensus. the only person who has immediate knowledge and authority on your pain is YOU. in this specific context, your pain is something to trust. it is a rudder. grab onto it. it will help lead you further away from the person who does you harm. 

[witchinghhour-blog]

if my relationship was going through a rough patch and I found out my partner was pre-emptively meeting with a divorce lawyer "just in case" I would lose my fucking mind omg

[witchinghhour-blog]

the only place I can think of where u could go to get worse advice for your relationship is dan savage's newspaper column

[witchinghhour-blog]

I love to read r/relationships bc its like a collection of the worst advice I’ve ever read all gathered in one place

[witchinghhour-blog]

r/relationships is like Me [28M] and messy wife [29F] of 3 years keep squabbling over who does the housework, what should we do? Loser male on the Internet: Contact your lawyer IMMEDIATELY, clearly this is NOT a safe situation for you. Clearly she is a 29 year old slob whose mother did not teach her basic adult skills. What ELSE can't she do, that you don't even know about yet? Sure, now it's just the housework, but what will she do when she's a mother of your children? In short: take her for everything she's got.

[witchinghhour-blog]

I love to read r/relationships bc its like a collection of the worst advice I've ever read all gathered in one place

[doctorofwhut]

[nancyishappy]

[bostonpoetryslam]

What they cannot understand is the anatomy of a manic girl breaking. No clean edges, no roads back. Only bloodspatter, leak, voltage. Sonic boom. Brushfire. Jail time. Every day, a glorious and appalling new way to burn down my own house.

Jeanann Verlee, “At the Junction,” published in The Offing (via 2cc48a)

[artchipel]

[witchinghhour-blog]

yesterday I bought my plane ticket to go see peter in may and at first I FREAKED out bc I thought they were charging me 1240 for each way (there and back) so like 2400 in total but then I experienced like total bliss when I realized that they were in fact *only* charging me 1240 lmao and it made me realize that happiness is a double negative more than anything else

[witchinghhour-blog]

does it count as my living will if I write my instructions for burial into a text box on a popular microblogging website for teens and twentysomethings

[witchinghhour-blog]

sometimes I think about the kind of consciousness im gna have post death when im like decomposing and feeding a tree and some grass and insects andim gna be tree matter and just like eat the sun and sway int he breeze.... its gna be sexy. I DONT want to be embalmed. just dump me in the dirt with the worms