key: ♡ – smut | 𐙚 – suggestive | ❀ – fluff | 𖦹 – hurt/comfort | ☾ – angst
more: moodboard. all content. get to know my aus.
drabbles.
↳ sinners never pray
bassist!reader helps drummer!mattheo and lead singer!theo unwind after a show
⟢ 1.3k words
⟢ ♡
the guys ask reader for help with some very important… measurements
⟢ 1.2k words
⟢ ♡
blurbs.
↳ sinners never pray
sinners never pray write songs about bassist!reader
sinners never pray after a hiatus
a possible pr relationship with lead singer!theo
going to lead singer!theo’s first solo show
cuddling with sinners never pray
key: ♡ – smut | 𐙚 – suggestive | ❀ – fluff | 𖦹 – hurt/comfort | ☾ – angst
more: moodboard. all content. get to know my aus.
drabbles.
cuckold kink w/ sister’s bf!theo
⟢ 555 words
⟢ ♡
sister’s bf!theo eats you out on your birthday
⟢ 732 words
⟢ ♡
you walk in on sister’s bf!theo showering
⟢ 885 words
⟢ ♡
sister’s bf!theo hears you fucking his bsf mattheo
⟢ 921 words
⟢ ♡
sister’s bf!theo shuts you up when you suggest ending your situationship
⟢ 897 words
⟢ ♡
blurbs.
sister’s bf!theo being a slut
waiting to have sex with you
his reaction to you getting a bf
↳ his reaction to you getting a bf 2
↳ his reaction to you getting a bf 3
his reaction to your pregnancy
↳ his reaction to your pregnancy 2
him and your sister breaking up
his reaction to you dating mattheo
him being the best man at your wedding
his reaction to hurting you during sex
him subtly flirting with you in front of your sister
sister’s bf!theo and soft sex
dinner with sister’s bf!theo and your family
this blog is getting reorganised a bit. it’s now gonna contain not only my fics, but also au masterlists for each of my aus (with all au works, including drabbles, one shots, etc). i deleted all fic reblogs for now expect for archived ones. so, in the next few hours/couple of days there’s gonna be a bunch of posts and reblogs one after the other. just a heads up !!!
Could I request for 57 and fifty four (54) on the prompt list with theo smut? But luke it's smut at the end, aka you get hyped when he says the thingy about your hair... please. Thanks! ♡
hi babe, thanks for your request 💘 love this idea so much, theo would definitely be all over you when you’ve got a new hair product (as if he isn’t all over you already lmao). turned out as more of a soft smut kinda thing, hope you don’t mind!
prompt list
54. "that tastes… different."
57. "your hair’s soft."
۶ৎ navigation ; masterlist ; theo m-list ; how to request
18+ soft smut
you heard the door opening and closing through the quiet music, the record player next to your vanity providing a cozy and comforting background to your evening routine. theo’s figure appeared in the reflection of the mirror, met by your warm smile – your been waiting for your boyfriend to return from his quidditch practice for a while now.
"well, hello there, pretty girl."
he came up to you from behind, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your hair. you tilted your head back, catching his lips with yours and humming when he made a cheeky move of sliding his tongue along your bottom lip.
"i see you missed me, huh?" he quirked an eyebrow, gracing you with a small smirk. you gave him a shrug in return, not denying his completely true statement, and went back to spreading your newest purchase – a hair cream – through your drying locks.
theo followed your smooth movements with his gaze for a moment, his eyes flicking to the tube resting on the vanity table in front of you. nearly everything you had there was bought by none other than him, so the new addition was a surprise. he took the tube, opening the cap and taking a whiff before squeezing a tiny blob of it onto his finger. the tip of his tongue flicked out, grazing his fingertip, and a thoughtful crease settled between his eyebrows.
"that tastes… different," he murmured, returning the tube back to its place and looking at you with a silent question in his eyes. you giggled and scrunched up your nose, pretending to be disgusted by his antics.
"teddy, ew!" you exclaimed, playfully swatting his arm. "how do you even know how my hair stuff tastes?"
his expression morphed into a smirk when he leaned in again, to press his lips against your ear. "well, tesoro, how do you think?" he murmured, his warm breath tickling your ear and making your face grow hot – the effect he seemed to have on you even after a whole year of being together, though you still tried to keep your demeanor playful. "when you’re on top, your pretty hair ends up in my mouth all the time, no?"
you felt your cheeks sparkling with something akin to electricity from how flushed theo was rendering you. you tried to roll your eyes and go back to the haircare routine, but he didn’t let you. of course, he wouldn’t. instead, he gently pried your hand away and replaced it with his, running his nimble fingers through your tresses. he nuzzled his face into the back of your head, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a satisfied hum.
"your hair’s soft," he murmured, lightly swaying his head back and forth against you. his free hand was now on your stomach, untangling the knot that kept your satin bath robe closed – an expensive barrier theo failed to appreciate. you didn’t try to stop him – you were already a bit lost in him, in his compliments, in his touches, in everything that was him. your hand reached behind you, weaving your fingers through his curls and pulling him closer into you. you wanted him to drown in your hair as much as you were drowning in him.
the pull made theo groan, his arousal already straining against the fabric of his trousers. his lips parted, welcoming the taste of your hair and the skin on the back of your neck. "love the way you taste, amore," he whispered, his voice slightly muffled but obviously hoarse, proof enough of his desire, building up each second spent in the sweetness of your hair.
"yeah? i might know something else you’d like the taste of." your voice was teasing, but not lacking the need mirroring his own. you felt theo’s warm and shaky breath on the back of your head when you spread your legs, making the fabric of your robe slide open to reveal the fact that you were completely naked underneath.
"fuck" was a fleeting whisper before theo was already in front of you, on his knees, his eyes resembling a stormy ocean as he drank in the sight of your glistening core, looking even more delicious under the vanity lights. "you know i love the taste of that, baby."
you bit her bottom lip, your eyebrow twitching up as you looked between theo’s hungry face and the place between your legs he was so desperately craving. "why don’t you try it, then?"
theo didn’t have to be asked twice; hell, he didn’t even have to be asked once – his mouth was already latched onto you before you had time to finish the sentence, making the last words falter into a moan. it was a feast, the best meal he’d ever had – your soft, warm skin rounding him, the scent of your lotion and shower products mixing with the natural scent of your arousal he was eagerly lapping up made his mind fog with pleasure. theo would willingly stay between your legs until his dying day if he could. and he would gladly get you another hundred tubes of that new hair product, if that meant he could taste you again and again.
hiiiii i love your work this is my first request everrr !!!
can i request 45 & 71 with theo ;) smut if you can!!! thank you!❤️
thank you, babe, i’m so glad you like my stuff!! and i’ll be happy to get more requests from you in the future 🥰
prompt list
45. "got my flowers?"
71. "your mascara’s ruined."
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18+ smut
theo was unpredictable. that much you had come to realize even during the time you were together – he could have a routine lasting for months, and then suddenly do something that was completely out of the left field. this situation was nothing different – after a whole month of completely cold-shouldering you, he was now pressing you up against the wall in a dark, deserted corridor, his breath hot on your neck.
"got my flowers, tesoro?" he whispered, his soft lips teasingly brushing against the sensitive spot underneath your ear. your legs were clasped around his waist, his hands roaming over your thighs and ass as he supported your weight.
"yeah, i threw them out," you answered, lifting your chin up defiantly. however, your supposed determination was betrayed by the breathlessness of your voice, and the little action you performed with your chin only gave theo more access to your neck, which he gladly used, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses on your skin. you bit your bottom lip in order to stifle a moan threatening to spill out of you, which didn’t go unnoticed by theo – his chuckle vibrated against your sensitive neck.
"don’t be shy," he murmured, one of his hands traveling dangerously close to your pussy. no matter how much you tried to resist, your panties were starting to dampen underneath his caress, his hands being the only ones who knew your body, where to touch to drive you mad.
you couldn’t hold back a small whimper when theo’s index finger found your clit, already throbbing with need. the sound made theo smirk against your neck, because at that moment he knew he had you, once again. "want something, tesoro?" he asked, the tone of his voice smug and mocking. you hated it and were addicted to it at the same time.
at your silence, theo shook his head and let out a small chuckle. "come on, love, you know that pretty little mouth can do better." his finger was now sliding through your wet folds, grazing the sensitive bud from time to time in that teasing manner which made your hips involuntarily buck into his touch. but the friction wasn’t enough to bring you any substantial release, forcing a whimper out of you once more.
"words, amore. use your words," theo hissed into your ear, stilling the movement of his finger and taking away even that faint glimpse of pleasure he was willing to provide. you refused to answer, clinging onto the last bit of control your mind had, even though it was slowly slipping away.
"tsk, tsk, tsk…" theo shook his head again, taking his hand completely away and moving it to grab your ass instead. "your mascara’s ruined," he whispered almost tenderly while the thumb of his other hand caressed you cheek, wiping away the black streaks from your flushed face. "you’ll give in eventually, baby. you know you will. you’re all mine, after all. all mine."
is it too on the nose to request some fluff 78 and 133 with sirius black? (i'm a basic bitch obviously) ❤️
aww no cause this is so cliché in the best way possible and cute at the same time 😭 always up for some siri as padfoot fluff <3
prompt list
78. "the dog’s cuter."
133. "that’s your nickname?!"
۶ৎ navigation ; masterlist ; sirius m-list ; how to request
"where are we going?"
"babe, for the millionth time – not telling!"
"sirius, i swear to merlin…"
you sighed after another failed attempt to pry your boyfriend’s hands from your eyes in order to see where you were and where he was leading you. the boy sometimes had the craziest ideas, and you still haven’t forgotten that one time he decided to push you into the lake for some ‘lighthearted fun’, as he so graciously put it…
"here we are, love," sirius said after a couple more minutes of walking. "keep your eyes closed."
you groaned in annoyance, because you were still blissfully unaware of what was waiting for you once you’d finally be able to see, and crossed your arms on your chest, your eyebrows slightly furrowed. sirius was absolutely infuriating when he wanted to be, and he seemed to be basking in this state.
you heard him taking a few steps back and then, silence.
"sirius black, if you don’t tell me to open my eyes in three, two-"
your angry rant was interrupted by something – or someone – bumping into your leg. or, better said, bumping your leg on purpose. you flinched, startled by the unexpected turn of events, and your frown deepened. you opened your eyes despite not getting verbal permission and they immediately widened when you saw that – a big black dog sitting at your feet and looking up at you with a cute tilt to its head.
"hi…" you hesitantly murmured, stretching your hand out to pat the dog’s head. it seemed to be friendly, leaning into the touch and not trying to instantly maul you, which was a nice thing to know. "have you seen my idiot of a boyfriend, by chance?" you asked the dog absentmindedly, obviously not really expecting any real answer. you turned your head to the side, then to the other one. no sirius in sight.
"looking for something, love?"
you practically yelled when you heard his voice suddenly coming from behind you while you weren’t looking. you glared at your boyfriend, who was currently snickering at your bewildered facial expression.
"where were you?! and where’s the pup?"
"the pup? oh you mean–"
right in front of your widened eyes, sirius turned into the big black dog you had seen just a minute ago, and then back into a human. your mouth was agape, because as much as you expected from him, it wasn’t that. wasn’t that at all.
"you mean this pup?" sirius finished, mischief lighting up his eyes.
"you’re an animagus?!"
"yeah," sirius answered nonchalantly, looking at his nails, like an illegal animagus was a perfectly normal thing to be. "padfoot, at your service."
"that’s your nickname?! what does that even mean?"
"ah, don’t worry about it, love." sirius waved you off, which was very annoying, because how could he just spring this on you without any explanation?
"the dog’s cuter anyway," you said with a huff, crossing your arms on her chest and rolling your eyes to emphasize the way you were offended by his actions. sirius just barked out a laugh and stepped closer, wrapping his arms loosely around your form.
"alright, alright, i’ll tell you. but you might want to sit down for this one, love. it’s quite a long story."
Can i request 17 and 18 from the prompt list with Theo please? Any genre is fine but I’d love some smut 😊 Thank you so much!
thanks for requesting, babe 💘 really great prompt combo if you ask me, which, of course, begs for some smut…
prompt list
17. "…that’s my shirt."
18. "i’m running late."
۶ৎ navigation ; masterlist ; theo m-list ; how to request
18+ smut
theo was a lucky bastard – on fridays, he had a free period in the morning, which meant he could sleep in. you, on the other hand, had transfiguration, which you, of course, couldn’t miss. it made staying over at his dorm even more annoying, since you had to wake up early and hurry to breakfast, while he could easily snooze away for an hour more.
you were rummaging through your bag, trying to find your hairbrush, when you heard theo’s sleepy, raspy voice behind your back.
"…that’s my shirt, amore."
you didn’t even turn around to look at him, even though you really wanted to – breakfast was about to end in twenty minutes, and you had a whole walk to the great hall ahead of you. you did put his shirt on, because your own one was currently on the floor, wrinkled as fuck.
"yeah, i’m running late," you answered, giving up on your search and settling on messy hair for the time being.
you didn’t have time to even blink before theo was right behind you, still naked from last night, his warm breath tingling your neck. his hand was resting on your hip, pulling you close to his body.
"you’re not going anywhere," he murmured into your ear, starting to walk backwards and tugging you with him. you wanted to protest, go on a rant about the importance of classes in your last year, but before you could open your mouth, you were being pushed onto the bed. you let out a gasp, and theo grinned at you from the top. "mia bella bambina."
his eyes roamed your body appreciatively as he knelt on the floor, his arms wrapping around your thighs and pulling you closer to the edge of the bed. you looked down, seeing his smirking face between your legs, and bit your bottom lip – a sight like that always made your panties grow a wet spot. theo noticed the state of your underwear immediately and chuckled, raising his eyebrow and looking at your already aching but still clothed pussy.
"already dripping for me, baby? i knew you were a needy little slut for me but-"
"theo-o-o," you whined, cutting him off and trying to push your hips up, so that he could finally give you a reason to miss class this morning. theo just chuckled in response and, without wasting any more time, pulled your panties aside, his head dipping down between your thighs.
once he flattened his tongue out against your folds, you let out a small whimper, your back automatically arching off the bed and one of your hands weaving through his messy, just-out-of-bed curls. theo moaned into your cunt, relishing the feeling of your fingers carding his head. his tongue and lips got to work, feasting on your sweetness as if it was his breakfast for the day. his lips wrapped around and sucked on your clit with the help of his swirling tongue, making your moans turn into loud whines of his name, which he, of course, didn’t mind. if anything, that would only show his housemates how good he could make you feel. him and only him.
summary: you had finally convinced Tom to take you to the Restricted Section. however, the outcome might not be something you had originally planned.
pairing: tom riddle x fem!reader
warning: 18+ smut, cockwarming, oral (m receiving), throatfucking, gagging, mentions of nausea (no actual vomiting), slight choking, orgasm denial? ignoring?? I think that’s all, if I missed anything, let me know!
wc: 3.3k
a/n: listen. listen. this man has been in my head for the last month, and recently he decided to come into my dream? that’s just rude, so that’s what you get as revenge. this fic is also a result of my pent up frustration at life rn, so do with that what you will. also, this is my first time ever writing smut and writing for tom, so pls let me know if it’s any good and if I shall continue on the path. enjoy <3
You had finally done it.
You had finally convinced Tom to take you to the Restricted Section with him. After the whole month of begging almost every day, he agreed, albeit awfully begrudgingly, but you were on cloud nine nonetheless. He told you some stuff about his late-night visits to the library from time to time, but you were always burning for more information, considering your own striving for knowledge. He always said the same thing, that he appreciated your effort, but if you could stop trying to make him abuse his Prefect’s power and possibly lose himself the position, it would make both of your lives easier. But you persevered and were finally reaping the rewards, sitting next to him at the table, with a stack of ancient books in front of you, sometime far after midnight.
What you didn’t expect, though, was how absolutely fucking irresistible he would look merely existing. The books were taken out, the first one was flipped through and now they sat on the table, long forgotten, as you just stared at Tom, almost devouring him with your eyes. To be fair, the sight of him was truly divine – his face calm and concentrated, hovering over a particular book he had been studying for the last week, distracted simply to switch to his journal and take another note. His hands resting on the table, holding a quill, scribbling down lines with his exquisite handwriting… They were sinful, those hands. You had to get ahold of at least one. His left hand was in the process of mindlessly caressing the corner of the book with his middle finger when your hand slowly creeped towards it. You lightly brushed your fingertips along the outer part of his hand. No reaction. You started drawing circles along the whole area, skimming along his wrist and thumb. Nothing. You decided to go further and began intertwining your fingers together.
Finally. A sigh.
And he didn’t even look. His hand grabbed yours and put it away, back on the table. And nothing, absolutely nothing changed about the focused expression painted on his face. That was really annoying, but also… hot, in a way? Almost as if he was playing hard to get. You were already aroused just by looking at him, but his silent rejection made you nearly desperate. Your panties were pretty much soaked, and he, quite literally, barely lifted a finger.
Before you could gain control over your hand, it moved dangerously close to his thigh. You put your hand a little above his knee and gradually advanced higher and higher up his leg. Only when you were caressing his inner thigh did you hear another sigh. Tom raised an eyebrow and turned his head a couple centimeters in your direction, his eyes still on the book.
“What?” he asked, the tone of his voice only ever so slightly irritated. His composure remained intact. He wasn’t even fazed by the fact that you were so close to grabbing him through his pants.
“You look so handsome like that, you know?”
You made your best attempt to lace your voice with saccharine seduction. Your hand kept stroking his inner thigh, inching further and further up with each stroke. The only thing he did was thoughtlessly nod, as if he forgot about your existence immediately after asking the question.
You started getting frustrated and even more turned on. You moved your chair closer to his and began caressing his shoulder, brushing your fingers along his neck when they reached it. You slowly moved down to his back and arm, your nails applying some pressure on his body so that he could feel them scratching his skin even through the fabric of his shirt. It had always been one of the rare things to grab his attention, and it worked this time as well. He sighed, closed the book with his finger between the right pages and turned his head to you. His expression was that of mild annoyance, his eyebrow raised again.
“What exactly was the reason you’d been begging me to bring you here? Would you care to remind me?”
You lowered your gaze and your hand on his shoulder stopped, but just for a second. Then you continued, thinking that there was no return at that point and at least you had a chance, now that his attention was on you.
“Knowledge,” you admitted.
“And what kind of knowledge are you trying to soak up right now?”
His eyes flicked towards your hand still massaging his shoulder. You rolled your eyes and shifted in your chair at the mention of the word “soak”. But it was time for drastic measures. You stood up to crouch next to him, so that your mouth was right at the same level as his ear. Your hand moved to his inner thigh again, traveling up to his crotch and back. You felt him harden under your touch and the mere fact brought you immense amounts of satisfaction.
“Come on, Tom, love, we both know what I want right now,” you started whispering, your lips nearly touching his ear. “You. I want you. On the table, on the floor, against the wall, it literally doesn’t matter. If you don’t take me right here, right now, I will die.”
The look on his face didn’t change in the slightest when he grabbed your throat with his right hand and guided you from his left to his front, tightly squeezed between him and the desk. You stayed in your half-crouched position, trying your hardest not to tremble in the knees. The corner of Tom’s mouth lifted ever so slightly while he silently studied your face and body. His grip on your throat tightened when he lifted up his hand, causing you to straighten your half-bent legs. He shot a commanding look at his lap and, guided by his hand, you climbed there, sitting down and sighing as you could finally relax your already aching knees. But your state of relaxation didn’t last, as he abruptly spread his legs, causing yours to shoot open as well and your ass to be left hanging in the air. In order not to fall to the ground, you had to lean back on the desk, propping your front upwards, towards him.
His hand moved from your throat to the hem of your skirt. With quick and methodic movements Tom rolled it up, tucking it behind the top part of the skirt, and spread your thighs even further with a firm press of his thumbs. You felt a heatwave of embarrassment wash over you as he evaluated the state of your panties, an amused smirk tugging the corner of his mouth. A spot of wetness was wonderfully visible and on display. His eyebrow went up and down as he looked up at you, brushing his thumb in a feather-like touch along the still covered surface of your cunt. You threw your head back, partly because you didn’t want to meet his eyes, partly because your own eyes rolled to the point you couldn’t see in front of you and you could barely hold in a moan as myriads of goosebumps spread throughout your body just from this simple touch.
“Look at me.”
Tom clearly didn’t appreciate the lack of eye contact. You clenched your jaw and looked back, met by the sheer intensity of his stare. The stare that had all the power in the world to melt you into a puddle at any given moment. He brushed his other thumb over the same place again, watching your face carefully as you tried to keep your composure. Didn’t help. Your bit your bottom lip, but a sound escaped you nonetheless. Tom’s smirk widened.
“Let’s see,” he quietly muttered, pulling your panties to the side. Your cunt was already slicked and throbbing, which was even more embarrassing, because he looked like he was an inspector evaluating the goods. The smirk faded from his lips as his finger rubbed against your folds, barely spreading them apart and not reaching the clit to provide the much-needed sensation. You couldn’t help throwing your head back again, almost drawing blood from the pressure of your teeth against your bottom lip.
“I said. Look. At. Me.”
Tom uttered every word in a clear, emotionless voice, but it was the very thing that meant trouble. You looked back and the intensity of his stare only grew exponentially. He reached your face with his hand and grabbed your cheeks between his thumb and index finger, squeezing them, so that your lips formed into some sort of a pout.
“Don’t make me repeat myself. Keep looking until I say you can stop.”
You quickly nodded, intimidated by his frigid dominance. His hand went back to your cunt. He slid his fingers deeper between the folds, lightly brushing against the clit. Your hips jerked up as they tried to follow the path of his fingers, but his other hand held you firmly in place, not allowing a single extra bit of pleasure. He slid them back once more and then the middle one slipped inside you, up to the very base. A jolt of pleasure shook your body, as strong as the feeling of disappointment when he quickly removed the digit. You tried to whine but another look from him quickly shut you up. Tom raised his hand, rubbed his index, middle finger and thumb together and then separated; a sticky string of your wetness was a connection between them and a blatant manifestation of your arousal.
“Soaked. Just like I thought.”
The slightest hint of a smirk returned to his lips as his fingers reached your mouth.
“Open.”
Each of his words was stern, not leaving room for any disobedience. You opened your mouth and Tom pushed two fingers inside, pressing at the entrance of your throat and instantly making you gag. He kept his fingers there for a moment while you clutched the desk behind you to stop your body from shaking as you kept gagging, but not daring to push his hand away. A couple seconds later, when he saw you were on the verge of giving up, his fingers slowly traveled back out of your mouth. You tightly wrapped your lips around them and sucked your slick off, knowing that it was exactly what he wanted you to do. After leaving your mouth his fingers cupped your chin, as his thumb glided over your lips, covering them with the rest of your wetness.
“Now,” Tom leaned back on the chair, looking you up and down, his voice suddenly smooth and enticing, but his gaze still intense, “I see you are rather bored here with me, doll.”
When he said the word, you knew that the next part wouldn’t be so much for your pleasure as it would be completely for his. It wasn’t a meaningless pet-name for him, no, it held value. It meant that you would be treated exactly like a doll: mindless and limp. He saw your eyes widen at “doll” and a faint smirk was on his lips again: he was aware of the connotation and so were you.
“And to save you the trouble of a wandering mind, I am pleased to announce that I have a much better use for a doll like you.”
He waited to continue for a minute, letting you absorb the information and your thoughts fill with speculations. His hand brushed a stray hair from your forehead, him seeming just like a caring boyfriend for a moment.
“Kneel.”
You slowly stood up from his lap, feeling your stretched out limbs relax and almost fail to hold you up, and lowered down to your knees in front of him. From this point of view, he was even more attractive, compellingly so; it was worth it standing on your knees on the cold stone floor of the Restricted Section just for this sight alone. He slowly started unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants, almost as if he wanted you to enjoy the show. You drank up every single movement of his slender fingers as he pulled down his pants and underwear just enough for his cock to bounce right out, against his lower abdomen.
“You like what you see, doll?”
You fervently nodded, your mouth salivating just at the thought of being able to suck him off right then. He saw the fire in your eyes and scoffed, shaking his head.
“It is no ordinary pleasure that I want from you now, doll.”
He beckoned you to move closer and you eagerly did, your face just mere centimeters away from his length. Your breath quickened as you thought about the implication of “no ordinary pleasure”.
“Now, give me your hands, doll.”
You lifted your hands and he wrapped his belt around them, tightening it to the point when it started to hurt and you knew it would leave deep marks on your wrists. Then, you tried to position yourself in a way that would allow your hands to support you, but you could only reach the floor with your fingertips.
Tom ran his fingers through your hair, in a touch almost gentle and soothing, and then suddenly yanked you up and forward, straight onto his cock, thrusting his whole length into your mouth, the tip reaching the very back of your throat. You lifted on your knees and violently gagged at the feeling, your hands inadvertently flying up, trying to push back, but the belt didn’t let you make any substantial impact. He held you firmly in place while you kept quivering and making gagging sounds, him clearly enjoying seeing you in this state. Slowly, you adjusted to his cock filling your whole mouth and your body went weak as you lowered back down, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. You tried to look up with just your eyes, not being able to move your head; it hurt too much, so you lowered your gaze, the only thing in front of you being his lower abdomen. As you tried to shift in your place, you felt a whiff of the chilly library air against your soaked panties and the sensation drove you nearly through the roof.
“Now, doll, you have to stay like that while I keep going with my work. A fair warning out of the goodness of my heart: it might take a while.”
You blinked, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that this could continue for another hour or two. Your head was held back by the edge of the desk cutting into your nape, so you weren’t able to move at all. You were completely at his mercy, he could do literally whatever he wanted, but he chose not to do anything. As soon as he let go of your hair, he went straight back to his book, taking notes as if nothing had happened.
Time went by painfully slowly. The constant feeling of him in your mouth and throat overwhelmed you to the point when you started to twitch at times, shifting your weight to get any semblance of friction against your aching core. The position you were in didn’t allow that at all, your head being stuck firmly between the desk and his body. The most irritating thing about the whole ordeal was the fact that Tom ignored you completely, fully absorbed in whatever kind of studying he was doing. You tried to get his attention a couple of times by producing incoherent sounds and trying to tighten your lips around him, but you quickly understood that there was no use. You tried counting seconds and minutes, but your mind gave up when you reached fifteen. The only things you could think about were his cock and getting something, any type of pressure on your clit. Your wetness soaked through your panties and, you were pretty sure, was dripping down your thighs, creating a small puddle on the floor underneath you.
You didn’t know how much time had passed before you finally heard the book shut. You almost shuddered at the sound, your pupils dilating and your breath accelerating, probably close to the speed of light. Tom leaned on the back of the chair, looking down at you with one of his smirks of the devil himself. His hand ruffled your hair, pulling at it to slightly lift your head up and shove it back down, as if he was trying to gauge if you were still alive. At the sound of your muffled groan he raised his eyebrows, amused.
“The doll has some life left in her. What a pleasant surprise. You look perfectly splendid like that.”
You groaned again, the sound coming from somewhere inside your chest. You desperately wanted to look up, but your head was still pressed in its place. Tom scoffed, messing with your hair once again.
“The time has come for some more… customary activities of ours, don’t you think?”
As if you could answer. You tried to nod, but the edge of the desk only further cut into your nape, making you wince in pain.
“The doll seems to agree. Pleasure.”
He moved the chair a bit further from the desk. With more space you could finally properly breath, so you shifted in your place, your stiff legs aching as you had to follow the movement of the chair. Tom’s hand gripped your hair and pulled you upwards, releasing almost the entirety of his length from your mouth apart from the tip. The sudden emptiness made your throat clench and you felt nausea building up rapidly, although the feeling had no time to develop as you were quickly shoved down again, your nose nearly crashing against his body. Tears gathered in your eyes sprayed all over, your lips stretched even more than they already were and you prayed the corners of your mouth wouldn’t crack. The tension building up in your core was begging to be released as you were being thrusted up and down again and again, the tip of his cock stroking the back of your throat again and again, causing you to produce the most sinful gagging sounds known to man. You tried to balance on your tied up hands, but your fingertips just barely brushed against the floor as your whole body moved in unison with your head. Tom barely made any sound, a heavy breath occasionally escaping his lips. He threw his head back, his eyes closed, while you took him whole at the mercy of his hand.
At last, you felt his thrusts speeding up, sensing his release. After a couple of especially violent ones he let out a quiet groan, and you felt his hot semen filling you up and spilling down your throat as he pressed you all the way down. Your breaths were heavy but barely audible, his cock still stuffing your mouth to the brim. Tom heaved a deep sigh as you felt his grip on your hair loosening. You didn’t dare to move until he pulled you up, lifting your head with his finger on your chin, looking straight into your eyes. Your vision was blurry from tears, more of them running down your face and dripping down to the floor as they slid off your jawline. Your lips were swollen and you couldn’t properly close your mouth yet, panting in quick and dry breaths. Tom smirked, taking in the sight of your utter destruction.
“A broken doll. Truly a sight to behold.”
He leaned back on the chair again, pulling up his underwear and zipping the pants. Then, he bent down, taking your hands gently in his and undoing the belt. His fingers made their way across the deep red marks on your wrists, caressing them with utmost attention.
“You have been a very good doll for me tonight. Now, what do you say to spending the night in my dorm? The doll has to receive her rightful reward.”
alright, let me just quietly drop this off and crawl back into my hole of not writing for five more years maybe???
cruel summer by taylor swift as inspiration
warning: probably slightly sexual stuff, swearing
wc: 5,7k
You were never the type to go for such a relationship, but for some reason it… just happened. It was the dumbest explanation in the history of ever and you knew it, but every time you looked into your bathroom mirror at 6 a.m. on a Saturday, you somehow managed to convince yourself that it was totally normal. Totally normal to go running to find a random alleyway where he said his letter would be waiting this early in the morning on a weekend. Absolutely normal to cry your eyes out every time he left oh-so-suddenly because he remembered he had stuff to do and you were obviously not a part of it. Completely normal to run into him and his friends at a bar, see a girl flirting her heart out at him and pretend like it was fine, like it wasn’t a big fat needle stabbed right into your already bleeding heart. He always told you that he felt exactly the same, that he wished things were different, that you were the one on his arm on a night out, but nothing changed in the two months that you have spent together. Well, “together”.
You met Sirius precisely on the 1st of June. Well, you met him years ago, actually, but it wasn’t the same, sure enough. At Hogwarts you weren’t really close, though you wished it to be different. He was the popular kid, so it wasn’t like it was easy to just go up to him and talk – for you, anyway. He had his own entourage, if you could call his three goofy friends that, and others weren’t usually a constant in their bunch. The guys weren’t mean per se, not to everyone around them at least, but you always viewed them as unapproachable. And of course you had a crush on Sirius. It was so cliché you had to laugh at your own silliness. A crush on the popular guy, wow, how original. But those were your feelings and you couldn’t just make them go away, you could only try to suppress them, which, you were sure, resulted in the current predicament you found yourself in.
So, you met Sirius precisely on the 1st of June. It happened on a busy street, and you just had to bump into someone you craved and hated to see so badly. He instantly recognized you, so you couldn’t play the “who are you?” game – it would be pretty pathetic to pretend you didn’t remember his very one-in-a-million face. As soon as your eyes met his, you felt like a schoolgirl again, like you didn’t graduate five years ago and just looked at him across the crowded hall in-between classes. He changed a lot, but also didn’t change in the slightest; his hair was definitely shorter and his beard longer, he looked more mature, but at the same time… That devilish grin of his that always lurked somewhere deep in his eyes and creases of his lips never went away. And it was probably the thing that completely destroyed your guard without you even being able to put it up. You spoke to him in a voice that existed somewhere outside of your consciousness, words were flowing out of your mouth like they were meant to, and soon you found yourself on his arm walking to some “sick muggle place” he wanted to show you. Ever since you haven’t visited any sick muggle places together, or sick wizard places for that matter. Your relationship – again, “relationship” – wasn’t something for the daylight of London, magical or not. It was something for secret hideouts, narrow alleyways, the darkness and the cool air of the night. Something for the stars to see, as Sirius liked to say. It was kinda romantic, you had to admit, but as time went by, you began to feel sorry for the sun – it had never been a witness of the beautiful thing that existed between the two of you. Yes, you never really defined what the “thing” was, but it was beautiful nevertheless! Or so you said, trying to persuade your crying eyes and crying heart.
This Saturday was all the same shit all over again. You got ready at 6 a.m. to meet Sirius… somewhere. You didn’t really know where yet, he always did this stupid thing where he told you where to go, and then you had to apparate from there. There always was some knick-knack waiting for you, like a hat that someone left on a bench or an obviously fake flower hiding among real ones in a flower bed. You were kinda amused at the lengths Sirius was ready to go to hide your rendezvous, but simultaneously you were hurt - the lengths he was ready to go! This time, the trinket of the day was an old torn up shoe hiding under a tree. You touched the thing, and boom, there you were, or, better to say, there he was – the effect his sudden emergence had on you was probably stronger than the other way round. He was always on top of his “looking cool” game, even more so, on top of the “hot and irresistibly sexy” game. He wore shirts and ripped jeans; leather jackets were also a frequent occurrence, along with the gloves – the fucker was always on his motorcycle and gloves went as a package deal.
As soon as Sirius saw you, he stopped leaning on the fence he stood next to and went up to you, immediately scooping you up into his warm embrace. He smelled his usual self – leather, tobacco smoke and a slight hint of cinnamon, telling you he had already had his morning coffee. And sure enough, when he pressed his lips against yours, you felt the bitterness of a double-shot espresso, no sugar. You slightly winced because you weren’t a fan of him having a coffee when he knew in advance he would be kissing you. Your expression changed, however, when he leaned away and held up something in front of you – a cup of freshly brewed coffee, steam still floating above.
“You knew I hated the coffee breath”.
You couldn’t help smiling, taking a sip of hot stuff and sucking in the air immediately afterwards – you burned the hell out of the tip of your tongue. The other hot stuff grinned, shrugging and crossing his arms on his chest.
“That’s why I got you the bribe. Can’t have you upset on such a nice day, can I?”
And that was the essence of him. Sirius could do basically anything and you would let it slide, he was that charmingly convincing. He clearly took note of this power a long time ago and oftentimes used it to his advantage. It wasn’t bad stuff, normally, because he wasn’t a total asshole and he had some level of care for you – or so you thought. Little things like coffee breath, cigarettes, a scratchy beard, they made him the person that he was and you wouldn’t want him any other way. No, actually, you would; you’d want him in any way, shape or form because it was him.
You slowly sipped your coffee, savouring the moment you didn’t want to end. Sadly, it still ended every time, no matter how hard you tried to stall for minutes and seconds. Sirius always told you that he would love to stay but you didn’t really believe him. If he wanted to, he would, right? You tried to keep to this principle and not make a big deal out of his simple, almost empty filler words to make it seem like he cared. After all, your situation was a situationship and nothing more.
“We’re having a party tomorrow.” Sirius’ words yanked you out of your temporary serenity.
“Okay? Have fun at the party.”
You didn’t really know why he would tell you this pretty mundane thing in the Marauders household. They had parties, like, every week, and for the most bizarre reasons – celebrating the beginning of summer, and separately the beginning of June, celebrating a whole working week without work, which meant they pissed around with no missions to go on and were basically on holiday. Sirius told you about some of them before they happened, sometimes after, sometimes during – yes, he literally had an owl sent to you during one of the parties because he was drunk and wanted to fuck. So when he told you about this week’s soiree, you just slightly raised your eyebrows and continued to stare into the distance.
“I will, don’t you worry,” Sirius said with a smirk on his lips. “But I want you to have fun as well.”
Well, that was new. So new that a drop of coffee slipped somewhere in your throat where it shouldn’t have and you started coughing like a mad woman. In the process you turned to look at the absolute menace standing next to you and saw this shit-eating grin of his that showed complete satisfaction. He knew of the effect his words would have on you and he was totally going for the shock factor.
“Did you just say what I heard you saying?” you asked as soon as your throat’s condition went back to normal.
“Well, what did I say?”
“Oh, come on. You’re doing this on purpose.” He had this way of making you feel embarrassed because now you started to doubt your own ears. Did he…?
“Did you just invite me to the party?”
“If that’s what you heard…” Sirius drawled the words like they were butter and sugar mixed together. “Nah, I’m just playing.” Seeing a very frustrated expression on your face, he took pity on you and confirmed your assumptions. “I did, in fact, just invite you to the party.”
You could but stare at him in disbelief. The topic of you going to parties was kind of taboo between the two of you, the initiative mainly coming from Sirius’ side. He didn’t want anyone knowing that he was seeing you, so obviously you couldn’t come there even as a friend – because god forbid he had a friend in you, right? You had to accept the fact and started freezing out any emotions when it came to his stupid parties. And now he was breaching the subject just like that, with a wide grin on his face and no care in the world.
“But why?” was all you could mutter at the moment.
“Well, I just thought you’d like that, you know. I always say our parties are fun but have nothing to show for it.”
Sirius sounded sincere. You didn’t know what to make of it yet, but at least he wasn’t planning to hurt you. He never was, but sometimes it just happened – like you just happened to end up in his bed on the 1st of June.
“Why the change of heart?” And you actually wanted to know the answer to this question. It was so sudden and you couldn’t believe something fishy wasn’t going on.
“Just because.” He shrugged and shook his head. “If you’re looking for a catch, there isn’t any.”
“Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure, yes. Well, don’t tell anyone about, you know… this whole thing.” He pointed at you and then at himself a couple of times. “But it’s always been a condition, so, no catch.”
You silently stared through him for a minute or two. You were thinking hard about making the right decision and thankfully, he understood and gave you some space. Maybe you were making too big of a deal, making a mountain out of a molehill, if you will, but it was a big deal. You have never met Sirius’ friends in a more or less official setting other than, you know, studying together for seven years and vaguely hanging around them; you happened to bump into them a couple of times here and there, but it was nothing. At max, you exchanged some hellos and how-are-yous. It would be different this time though. You hoped it could be a step towards getting out of the shadows of starry nights and stolen passionate make-out sessions just to part seconds later. You weren’t sure at all.
“Alright. The party it is.”
You were almost surprised at the words that so suddenly escaped your mouth. You really said that? Of course you did. You could tell by the glint in Sirius’ eyes that appeared only at those times when he got what he wanted and reveled in his success.
He didn’t reply though. In silence he walked up to you and placed his hand on your waist, pulling you closer. You felt his warmth enveloping you from head to toe and couldn’t think straight anymore. He did these things to you that you couldn’t describe with natural human words. The sounds around you were muffled by his soft voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear. They were nothings, but to you they meant the world. You were completely lost in him and forgot everything that could possibly bother you, including the party. At the moment, there were you and there was him.
—
You stood in front of the door, biting your lips in hesitation. Were you really about to do it? Were you about to knock on the door and face Sirius’ and his friends – and pretend like he hadn’t been fucking your brains out for two months?! It seemed impossible, and the thought of you and him being in the same vicinity so publicly made you want to vomit. You felt your stomach turn, actually. “But you wanted this,” you spelled out over and over, closing your eyes and making fireworks appear in your mind, trying to convince yourself that it was just excitement and not terrible unrest. You just couldn’t feel insecure: you looked good, you made sure of that; you smelled good, most importantly, it was Sirius’ favourite scent of yours. What could possibly go wrong?
“Coming!”
You heard a very familiar voice responding to your weak knock on the door. Seconds later it opened and you saw the face of the man who was responsible for you being here in the first place. Sirius pulled you into his arms and ran his fingers along your spine, sending shivers throughout your whole body. It felt almost forbidden to do it so close to the crowd of his friends, them literally being in the room next to you, but at the moment you couldn’t care less. Moved by a sudden impulse, you put your hand on the back of his head and pushed his face closer to yours, crushing your lips together. You could feel Sirius was surprised by your actions but at the same time he was genuinely pleased because it was usually him who took initiative. The two of you stood there for what felt like ages, just enjoying each other’s presence, but really only a couple minutes had passed. Your bliss was interrupted by another man’s voice coming from the inside of the house.
“Pads, where are you?! Did Voldemort come back and you had to kill him real quick?!!”
It was certainly James, you could tell by the way he sounded – always somewhat carefree and cheerful, always in high spirits and completely unbothered. Sirius swiftly pulled away, adjusting the collar of his shirt and running his hand through his hair in an attempt to make it look untouched. Another young man appeared from behind, beaming at you with a friendly smile.
“Y/N, right?”
James approached you in a rapid fashion and gave you a good old one-arm hug – a nice greeting for someone who was, for now, just an acquaintance. You noticed two things at the same time that made the only butterfly in your stomach flutter its wings: first of all, you were clearly welcome in the household, and secondly… You couldn’t help spotting a hint of jealousy in Sirius’ face. There was something about his tense expression that he tried to cover up with a smile too big for the situation.
“Yes, and I certainly remember that you’re James.”
“Oh yeah. It’s harder not to remember me than to do it, you know? Now come on, you came to have fun, after all!”
You chuckled and followed James deeper into the house. Sirius stayed behind for just a second to lock the door but he caught up to you pretty quickly. You felt his hand on yours and turned your head to give him a surprised look. It was definitely too much affection for his own imaginary boundaries around your behaviour in his friend circle. He looked down, as if he suddenly felt disappointed, let go of your hand and skipped forward to walk next to James. You decided to put this to the back of your mind for the night, but it was certainly something to unpack later.
The living room was truly living. A quick scan of faces surrounding you made it clear that you didn’t know a lot of them. Some you recognized from Hogwarts, but the majority of them were as new as the whole atmosphere you found yourself in. Obviously, Sirius never cared to give you any information about people close to him or even people he talked to other than The Crew, so you felt rather uneasy dissolving into a crowd of strangers. James steadily walked you to the other side of the room, where you could finally make out a few familiar faces. Lily was sitting in front of the fireplace, her red hair blending in with the flames; Remus occupied an armchair to her right, looking happy and relaxed with a bottle of butterbeer in his hand; he was chatting to Marlene, who sat on the couch with her legs crossed, laughing at something Remus said. You felt the tension leaving your stiff neck – the company seemed pretty chill and you could definitely see yourself getting along with them like a house on fire.
“Hey guys, this is…”
“This is Y/N.” Sirius interrupted James’ attempt to introduce you to the group. He had a grin on his face but something was hiding behind the seemingly nonchalant tone of his voice. Like his lighthearted exterior was just a disguise for something… something. You truly couldn’t discern his motives at the moment.
You awkwardly waved at the people staring at you, for a few seconds feeling like a zoo animal in a cage. But as soon as the girls smiled at you and Marlene scooted over to make space for you on the couch, you truly relaxed. Sirius plopped down next to you and you inadvertently thought that it would be magical if he could wrap his arm around your shoulders and you had a right to rest your head on his chest.
“Hi, Y/N!” Lily’s voice was full of genuine excitement. “We have a-a-all been waiting to meet you, but this fella,” she pointed at Sirius and looked at him like a prosecutor looked at an accused in court, “he never invited you anywhere with us!”
“Oh really?”
You raised your eyebrows in disbelief that you failed to conceal. When you looked at Sirius, his eyes were closed and his head slightly shaking, like he wasn’t going to retort in any way. The fucker was laughing under his breath as well! And apparently, he did it all the time when they talked about you, because no one even tried to question his antics.
“Well, now I’m here. Ta-da-a-a!”
You threw up your hands and heard some chuckles from the group. It made a smile appear on your lips because their laughter meant you had their approval. Thankfully, they didn’t ask anything about you and Sirius anymore and instead started quizzing you about your life after Hogwarts and all that jazz. You were relieved and even Sirius’ weird behaviour made an escape from your mind for a while. At some point the boys left to go outside and “clear their minds” – in reality, they obviously went out for a smoke; as they said, out of respect for the ladies.
“You’re really cool, Y/N.” The phrase was delivered by Marlene in a kind of childish manner, but it brought you lots of joy nevertheless. “You know, we were really… shocked, you could say, when Sirius didn’t bring you here as a girlfriend today.”
You choked on literal air when you heard this confession of Marlene.
“Uh… Why?” was all you could make up in response.
“Well, we, y’know, made a bet, kind of…” Marlene started to sound more and more absently as she spoke. She suddenly understood that she said something she shouldn’t have but it was too late to take it back. “Lily?” She looked at her friend with really upset eyes, searching for support.
“Yeah… Listen, Y/N, it’s nothing bad, I promise,” Lily continued after Marlene, who seemed to have a huge weight taken off her shoulders. You frowned, because usually “nothing bad” was, in fact, something bad when it came to Sirius and his shenanigans. “It’s just, you know, that Sirius kinda had a crush on you back at school, but you never really talked and then after graduation you went your separate ways.”
That much was true, but Sirius having a crush on you became a huge shock for you. Of course he had never mentioned it, why would he? It’s not like it was important fucking stuff.
“And then he met you two months ago and we were all so excited!” Lily continued, noticing your lack of response. “We really thought there was something between you two and you could finally explore that. So we made a bet that it would take you two months to start dating.”
“Two months?” You felt silly focusing on such a small thing, but you needed something to hold on to in order not to lose your sanity.
“That’s how long it took him to forget you after school, so we thought it was symbolic, kinda… It’s a whole thing.” Marlene picked up Lily’s explanation to unburden her friend – they were letting you in on top-secret information, it seemed. “We didn’t believe him when he told us you two were just friends and didn’t even talk much. But now it turns out he was right and all of us feel kinda stupid.” Marlene rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have known, but it’s void at this point anyway.”
You were silent throughout the whole speech and remained so after it was finished. What could you even say? You could dump everything on the girls right now, tell them about every single encounter you had with Sirius during the last two months, the 1st of June included, but what would you actually accomplish? They would probably think you’re a lunatic and banish you from the house immediately. Sirius was their close friend, after all, and you were just a rando they used to see at school sometimes. No, there were no reasons to tell them anything. The only person who had to have something to show for his shit was Sirius.
“I need to have a breath of something fresh, preferably air,” you explained, standing up quite abruptly and feeling your head getting a little dizzy.
“Oh, did we upset you?” Lily seemed genuinely concerned.
“No, no, don’t worry,” you reassured both of the girls even though they did, in fact, upset you, albeit unintentionally. “It’s just stuffy here. I’ll be back soon.”
You were actually headed outside, but for a different reason. You decided to have a talk with Sirius, even if it ended up ruining your relationship. Was there anything to really ruin, though? Now you knew that he could easily play with your feelings if it meant winning a stupid bet with his friends. And this whole thing about him liking you at school… You felt like passing out. Your knees would have given up and let you fall down on the floor, making an absolute fool of yourself, if you didn’t hear voices getting closer and closer to you. A moment later the boys emerged from behind the wall. Sirius noticed you as soon as he walked in and somehow, you saw it in his eyes that really were a mirror of his mind sometimes, he knew that you knew. He stopped at once, letting the others continue on their way without him.
“I’ll just have a quick word with Y/N,” he shouted after them, and James just nodded, still immersed in the conversation. Apparently, the latest Quidditch game was the most important thing in the world right then and there. Not for long, you thought, imagining the talk in the living room that Lily and Marlene were about to have with the group. You glanced at Sirius, who stood there looking at the wall and avoiding your prying eyes as hard as he could. Without saying a word you headed towards the front door, afraid that you could fly off the handle right then and there, and everybody would hear you being absolutely pathetic.
The air of the night was noticeably cooler than when you came. You breathed in with your whole chest. breathing out slowly with your mouth. At the moment, it was important to compose yourself and… What were you actually planning to do? You couldn’t decide yet. The logical thing to do would probably be to break up, right? Well, “break up”, you weren’t dating or anything. But – and you hated yourself for it – you just couldn’t imagine never seeing Sirius again for the rest of your life. During the two months of your arrangement he became an ever-encompassing presence in your day-to-day – or, more accurately, night-to-night. You couldn’t imagine not feeling his gentle but sturdy hands touching you all over, couldn’t imagine not being able to run your fingers through his hair, not seeing that mischievous spark in his eyes, that devilish grin… His essence, simply put, was eating you up from the inside and made you some kind of an addict, as much as you were afraid to admit it. So you weren’t exactly sure he wouldn’t be able to persuade you to do whatever he wanted and you wouldn’t even mind. But you did plan on putting up at least some sort of a fight.
“So?” You heard Sirius’ was from behind and realized he had been standing there all this time, patiently waiting for you to begin.
“So? Well, that’s bold,” you replied, turning to face him. It was, very likely, a huge mistake – you would certainly have more success in leading the fight if you didn’t have to look into his eyes. You blinked as if to erase their image from your mind. Didn’t help.
“What do you want me to say?”
And there it was. Such a Sirius classic. What do you want me to say, you’re overreacting, what more do you want from me, I don’t like all this drama, yada-yada-yada… These sneaky little tactics always drove you insane. He wasn’t ever ready to admit his fault. He always managed to calm you down with a kiss (and something else afterwards) and all your grievances were left unsolved. You couldn’t do it this time, though.
“You know exactly what, Sirius, stop with your nonsense right now.” You tried to sound stern and it seemed like you succeeded, seeing as Sirius looked a bit defeated.
“So… you do know?”
“What do you think?” It was time to start playing his games by your rules… kinda. You were still to master the “manipulation without regret” bit because you, unlike him, were still able to feel remorse.
“Look, it’s not what you think it is.”
Here we go, you thought, having another deep breath of fresh air sucked into your lungs. He just couldn’t stop being himself, could he?
“No, no, we’re not doing this right now, Sirius.”
“Then what are we doing?”
“STOP!!!”
Even you were surprised to hear your voice coming out of your mouth at this volume. Sirius flinched, visibly surprised and even… scared? It was hard to discern his exact emotions but they weren’t the usual smug ones.
“I’m tired of all this, Sirius. I’ll wait for thirty seconds and if I don’t hear an explanation, I’m leaving. The clock starts now.”
You tensed up inside and out. You were afraid he would just take you up on your offer, turn around and be the first to leave, you know, just to outperform you one last time. You could barely hold an audible sigh when he threw his head back, closed his eyes, swallowed hard and started talking.
“I’m sorry.”
Nice start. It was a first from him.
“What about?”
“About me being an asshole.”
He didn’t even deny it. You felt a teeny tiny bit validated.
“And that’s an understatement. You…” You had a plan to go on a rant but Sirius had this look on his face that you just closed your mouth shut and continued staring at him, waiting for his response.
“Could you please let me finish? I know I never let you so you don’t have to give me the courtesy, but please?”
You nodded, signaling the “go ahead”. His way of talking to you was very different from his usual self and you didn’t know how to process this change yet.
“This bet was dumb. Really, really fucking stupid. And I didn’t want to lose. You know me.” His chuckle had a bitter tinge to it. “I really thought you didn’t mind this whole… thing we had. I was clearly wrong, and I feel like an idiot.”
“You made me look like one in front of your friends, that’s for sure.” You couldn’t help interrupting him there, making an imperative decision not to let him make this about himself. “Can you even imagine how utterly humiliating it is to sit there and have people know something about you that you don’t? And to then pretend like it’s fine and that you knew all along?!”
You felt tears in the corners of your eyes but weren’t even trying to hide them. You felt you deserved to have all your emotions burst at once.
“I’m sorry,” Sirius mumbled in response, still avoiding your gaze. “I was selfish. I thought you wouldn’t know. It’s a shitty excuse, I’m aware. I shouldn’t have put you through this in the first place.”
“Oh really? Well, you certainly did.”
You heard yourself sobbing. At last, the tears won over you and pretty much gained autonomy from your consciousness. Sirius must have noticed it too, because he finally looked at you and, seeing your distress, decided to do what he knew best. Seconds later you were drowning in his warmth, which felt so dangerous yet so comforting at the same time. You didn’t want to succumb to the enemy, but your body felt differently, relaxing as soon as you felt his arms around you and his warm breath on the top of your head. He did smell of tobacco pretty strongly, but you could let it slide once more. You heard his slightly hoarse voice repeating I’m-sorrys again and again, his hand caressing you everywhere from your hair to the small of your back.
“I love you so fucking much.”
You could almost see these words looming through the fog that took over your brain. Sirius’ voice sounded so distant yet it felt like he spoke directly into your heart. Maybe you even imagined it, you thought, to bring yourself some comfort.
“I love you. I will say it over and over if I need to, you hear me?”
No, you definitely didn’t imagine it.
“What?”
You raised your head to look at Sirius through a thick layer of salty water still clouding your eyes. His forehead was wrinkled in a frown but the corners of his lips went up ever so slightly when he heard your voice.
“I love you,” he repeated. “I owed you this from the very beginning, but I was a jerk. You deserve to hear it every day. If you let me, I will make sure of that.”
Somehow, his words felt right. The sensible part of you wanted to object, wanted to pull away from him, run and never go back. This part was muffled by a stupid, futile tidal wave of emotions knocking you down and carrying you into the depths of this neverending ocean called “being head over heels in love with Sirius Black”.
“Fuck you,” you mumbled, looking into his hopeful yet shameless eyes. “I love you too.”
These words of yours were taken as permission. This time him kissing you felt different. It was more… satisfying, you could say. You were still completely enthralled, but it didn’t burn you from the inside like you had been sipping on toxic waste, on the contrary, you felt alive, as if someone poured fresh water all over you and then wrapped you in a cozy blanket. It finally validated every single feeling you had since the 1st of June. It seemed like a logical resolution to this chapter of your life. Except it wasn’t.
“Now you have to clean up the mess, you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“You have to tell everybody!”
Sirius rolled his eyes but nodded. He understood that this task was solely on him.
“Aren’t you afraid?” you teased him while you walked back to the house. “You lost the bet, after all.”
“Having you by my side wherever we go? Losing a bet is a small price to pay.”
The two of you walked into the living room and headed straight to the crew still occupying the VIP lounge next to the fireplace. Everyone looked at you with varying degrees of worry in their eyes because of course they were aware that you knew. Sirius sat down on the couch and you did the same, but this time he did wrap his arm around your shoulders.
“Well, well, well…” James sounded surprised yet satisfied at the same time. “What’s all this about?”
Sirius cleared his throat in preparation for the big speech.
“Alright, I’m just gonna say it and then explain. Guys, meet Y/N, my girlfriend.”
You finally had a right to rest your head on his chest.
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