ARE YOU BROKE BUT STILL WANNA PULL THE THREADS OF THE ETHER AND DEFY THE ESTABLISHED LAWS OF MAN INVOKING THE ANCIENT MAGICK?
You and I are gonna go S H O P P I N G
But, Semiramis! I just told you Iâm broke! I canât get nice things!
The world is full of wonders, one of them being
Remember sweeties, a witchâs best friend is scavenging.
Open your eyes. Look around. Scout your neighborhood.
But what about the things that I canât get out on the streets!?
Thatâs what weâre shopping for!
Now before we move on, close your eyes⌠then open them again because you need to read the rest of the message⌠and repeat the following mantra:
THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING.
THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING.
THE CRAFT REQUIRES NOTHING BUT MYSELF.
No fancy ingredients, no pretty crystals, no expensive incenses will work better than your RAW HEART AND SOUL.
Now letâs go get some of that good shit.
Now, itâs no mystery that a broke ass witch needs to pay a visit to the local dollar stores to get her materials every once in a while, but if youâre like me and live in a place where there are no dollar stores (and there are no dollars either) WHERE TO GO?
CHINESE IMPORT STORES ARE YOUR NEW SANCTUARY.
These places are AWESOME for a witch on a budget, because they carry EVERYTHING. From toys to art supplies to kitchenwareâŚ
AND SPIRITUALITY SUPPLIES.
(Thatâs where we come in)
Speaking of budget, by the way. Letâs set one.
FIFTEEN AMERICAN DOLLARS. I will take you home with some nice and rare goodies that will spice up your spells.
Oooh what a promising start. This here, my friends, are 25 grams of the purest coke Palo Santo wood. Donât like it in its natural state?
They have it in incense too!
But we ainât getting that shit. Iâm allergic so I canât burn anything scented or else I⌠die.
But know theyâre there, as well as essential oils, and theyâre quite accessi-
28 BUCKS FOR A BOTTLE OF ESSENTIAL OIL!?
AINâT NOBODY GOT CASH FO DAT
Nah Iâm just kidding. This is the price in pesos, meaning that these oils are *math happens* $1.55 each!
BUT THATâS NOT WHAT WEâRE HERE FOR BECAUSE IâM SOON TEACHING YOU HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN OILS.
You HAVE to see the candles aisle in this place.
The photo is not blury, youâre drunk
Twelve candles for $1.94 you say?
Meaning SIXTEEN CENTS A CANDLE?
Donât let anyone tell you cheap candles donât get the job done, people!
Plus they burn just as good.
NOW at this point the store was 10 minutes away from closing time, so I had to stop taking pictures to get my ass outta there, BUT
Hereâs a look at what we got:
That doesnât look too good, letâs add a F I L T E R
Those little crochet doilies that will serve as my new altar tablecloths? They were $0.55
But Amis! Those donât look too witchy, more like what my grandma puts under her vases!
First of all, how dare you.
Second of all, how dare you.
Granmotherly stuff is witchy by D E F I N I T I O N. Embrace the grandma aesthetic, yâall!
If youâre poor you have to be CRAFTY. Look at that! It has a pentacle now. How long did it take? Literally 30 seconds! Imagine what we could do with a whole afternoon!
Ok, I admit it, that was a fiasco, BUT WEâRE ONTO SOMETHING THERE.
Letâs take a closer look at what else we brought, shall we?
This tiny chest is 7.5 cm wide x 5.5 cm tall x 5.5 cm deep (3 in x 2.1 in x 2.1 in) and will hold my pocket altar. It was *drum roll* $1.70!
I was getting tired of using my momâs big ass scissors to cut my tiny delicate herbs, so I got myself this pair of snips! Price: $0.55 and theyâre sharper than Tom Hiddlestonâs style. Plus they serve a multitude of purposes, like shanking a bitch.
A quick stop by the crystal shop that was also closing (pfft crystal shop. Sounds like out of a fantasy novel, love it) yields the following goodies:
-Snowflake obsidian (hard to get where I live. Itâs kinda pricey at $2.20. I recommend other kinds of obsidian or maybe just black glass as Iâve been using until today, it still works awesomely. I got the obsidian because I wanted to experiment with it and my Mentor recommended me to get it, same as the fluorite).
-And the CUTEST little quartz formation. This one kinda defeats the purpose because it was a bit pricey. You donât need it; any clear quartz will work the same. Â It was $4.50 and it was my guilty pleasure of the month. It also came with a free satchel thatâs most certainly going to be used with magickal results in the foreseeable future.
More of it because itâs so gorgeous âĽ
Back to the fluorite! That shit is large and cheap! Well, you see, itâs kinda ugly because I was part of a larger stone and broke down the middle when they were trying to perforate it to make it into a pendant.
But check this hot babe out
Coming back from the imports store, I paid a visit to my pot dealer erh I mean my herbs supplier. Got myself some ginger for $0.27
Maybe they donât package it like this in your country, but here this little shitty capsule is worth its weight in GOLD.
Yâall know what this is?
Now normally I steer fucking clear of things this expensive, but when I asked my dealer I mean the vendor she said it was on sale.
This stuff LITERALLY sold by FRACTIONS OF GRAMS. In this case thatâs 0.2 grams of saffron, thatâs 0.007 ounces. YES. ZERO POINT ZERO ZERO SEVEN. Insert here Bond reference
Retail price? Normally around $8 per capsule (EIGHT AMERICAN DOLLARS!)
A tip for the broke witch: hunt down for sales. Even if you donât use the ingredients in your spells, you can still trade them with other witches or with anyone, really.
After this I went home and decided to try out my new candles.
And as I said, if youâre poor, you gotta get crafty!
I cut one of the candles in half. A part went to my pocket altar, and the other halfâŚ
I used one of those ceramic saucers with the little erh⌠lower level circle in the middle?
USE CERAMIC. THIS IS IMPORTANT. IT RESISTS TEMPERATURE WELL AND YOUâRE GONNA NEED IT.
Melt the wax in the microwave or on the flame and then make sure it stays in the center of the saucer. Then take it out and wait until it cools down (or put it in the freezer if you are an impatient little shit). DO NOT LET IT SOLIDIFY COMPLETELY.
Then you take it out and use a round cookie cutter (or if youâre a cheap ass like me, find something else)
I just used the styling nozzle of my hair drying because F U K D A P O L I C E
Put it again in the freezer and once itâs completely solidified use a spatula because you, my dear witch
Just made yourself a moon wax amulet!
Engrave it with your sigils, place it on your altar, carefully soften the bottom with heat and use it as a seal, the possibilities are endless!
BUT WAIT, WHAT ABOUT THE REMNANTS!?
The rest? Melt it again or use it as a poppet in case you wanna cast a spell over an onion ringâŚ
By the end of the day, our haul is:
-Mini-altar wooden box $1.70
-Dozen of blue candles $1.94
-Snowflake obsidian $2.20
-Quartz crystal formation $4.50
Of our budget of $15 we still have $0.47 that where I live is enough for the bus ride back home!
If we take away the unnecessarily pricey stuff (the quartz and the saffron) we got everything for $8.03!
Now if THATâS not magick, I donât know what is!
1)Â Â Â Â Â REUSE as many things as you can.
2)Â Â Â Â Â MOVE THOSE FEET. I know it doesnât sound appealing, but CHECK SEVERAL PLACES. Find the best prices by checking different stores and comparing.
3)Â Â Â Â Â BE CREATIVE. If you find yourself in need of something you canât afford, think and find a way to replace it or get it through other routes. As I said, witch trading is a thing!
4) Â Â Â BARGAIN. Thereâs no shame in it, people! If youâre dealing with independent merchants and buy regularly/are buying a lot, try to get better prices! Donât disrespect their business, though!
5)Â Â Â Â Â REMEMBER YOUR MANTRA. Witchcraft requires NOTHING. Except you.
Now go out there and work your Magick!
-Semiramis, the Magpie Witchling
2087
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