At this point if your here you should know what your in for let me just say this is just me shitposting whatever tf I want at this point and thats perfectly acceptable I’ve accepted this and so should you…
As an ex-celibate who now gets cracked weekly I have decided to analize and rate commonly used sex positions in fics that I have tried based on the enjoyableness and comfortableness of such. Encouraged by my pookie buns @wittyjasontodd
1. Mating press: 6.5/10. Pretty enjoyable and hot as fuck but not as comfortable in practice. My thighs were cramping so fast. It is pretty hot tho so it gets extra points for that
2. Headlock: 12/10. Need I say more. Extra points if you’re lying on your stomach and he’s only holding you up by his bicep on your throat. It’s literally so good. Like yes please suffocate me with your bicep and whisper dirty y shit into my ear please lord. Hot asf and it’s not uncomfortable as you’re simply laying down
3. Cowgirl: 7/10. Feels great. It’s very position dependent. Bed vs sitting on the edge. Little hard to keep the pace but it helps if he helps. Minus 1 point for lack of eye contact
4. Missionary: 13/10. Please lord. The eye contact, the closeness, the feeling of being completely entrapped by him. Him panting and cursing. The feeling is so shehhdjw. And you don’t have to do shit. As long as he doesn’t absolutely crush you with his weight, so good
5. Riding: 10/10. No need to explain this one. Very popular for a reason. One my faves. Only downside is keeping the pace but that’s what he’s for. Very comfortable and enjoyable indeed. Bonus points if he grabs your hips and starts to fuck you. And seeing his eyes roll back into his head. Bro I bust every time.
6. Shower: 2/10. Did it one and never again. Lord whoever came up with this bullshit i hope you died without feeling the touch of a pussy.
7. Legs on shoulders: 7/10. Feels so good but fuck it’s so uncomfortable after a while. My legs are too short and his torso is too fucking long my shit gets sore so fast. My rating goes up to 8/10 if it’s one leg on his shoulders and one leg around his hips.
8. 69: 7/10. Nothing much to say. It’s good but it gets hard to focus (adhd hates this) can’t concentrate enough to finish but can’t concentrate enough on the task in front of me. Very dependent on how my adhd is that day.
9. Face sitting: 13/10. Need i explain. I get so giddy when he asks me to sit on his face. Only downside is holding yourself up but everything else about it makes that seem very inconsequential. Literally what Doja said. Sit on that nose. You won’t regret it I promise. If your man doesn’t beg to suffocate on your pussy you need a new one. That shit is literally my favorite. Extra points when he grabs your ass and starts moving you himself cause you’re scared to suffocate him. He’s exactly where he wants to be TRUST.
10. Facefucking: 2/10. It’s really hot in theory but it is so fucking foul in practice. Especially if your gag reflex is shit. Tried it once and cried. My poor man was mortified. Love giving head tho, I’ll give that 7/10
11. Wall fucking: haven’t tried it. I will return to this in a few days (I’ve been celibate for 3 weeks due to my iud being a bitch and I’m feral and so is he, I shall update this in a few days)
I cannot believe u posted this shit LMAOOO I say as if I didn’t witness the process of her writing this shit in 4k and also adding ideas in her head I’m just glad I helped contribute to society in the process of this investigation we so desperately needed 😭🙏
Yall should thank me for being part of this 🙂↔️
(Also yes that is indeed our new fine shyt of the month Paul Kelly)
I know I haven’t been active on here for a fatass minute but I did FINALLY get this done got it done on Monday currently have saniderm or second skin on as it’s also referred as
I’m so fucking happy with the final results like it feels like a dream it’s day two with it and I woke up this morning and looked at my arm and still can’t believe it’s there like holy shit mind u this was my first tattoo ever it was a long 5 hr session the last hr was brutal BUT I pushed through and got it done 🙂↕️
This pic was taken by my tattoo artist immediately after we finished btw its been a long time coming since July of last year was originally gonna get it a month ago but u know life happens but here we are now a lovely late birthday present for myself lmaooo anyways enough yapping on my part
This is vid of it
And of course a progress pic halfway through
A little more info regarding this it was done by one of the best artists in my state who specializes in anime tattoo and he happened to also be in my city and I loved his past work the most that pushed me to getting it done with him this will in fact be a whole sleeve I plan on getting more pieces with him in the future and I’m so excited for that 🙂↔️
omg this is my photo!! very scary to go through my dash and see my own posts here lolol but very glad people resonate with one of my fav snoopy panels 🙂↕️ do i try an aot panel next yay or nay?
wait i just realised my caption isn’t included with this :( i mean it wasn’t anything noteworthy so fairs but i feel like it added context,,,, it’s hot chocolate btw not tiramisu cause it was my late night comforting drink hence why i chose that specific snoopy panel to decorate it with 😔
omg this is my photo!! very scary to go through my dash and see my own posts here lolol but very glad people resonate with one of my fav snoopy panels 🙂↕️ do i try an aot panel next yay or nay?
wait i just realised my caption isn’t included with this :( i mean it wasn’t anything noteworthy so fairs but i feel like it added context,,,, it’s hot chocolate btw not tiramisu cause it was my late night comforting drink hence why i chose that specific snoopy panel to decorate it with 😔
Why is the biggest pain in the ass to upload a clip here like bro fucking POST and I have to keep this app open so it does it and yet it takes an eternity
There’s this one Netflix show I’m watching rn thanks to @livingdxadwriter suggesting it to me of course u never fail to give me good recs it takes place post nazi germany and the main character let met just tell u he’s serving so much Levi im legit barking at my screen every time he’s in frame it’s foul it’s also lowkey how he acts in the show im like LAWDDD
It’s a limited series too only 8 episodes and pretty good has some graphic and sensitive content obviously but highly recommend
No because when I tell yall I was down bad from start to finish this man was so Levi coded and his slutty as wardrobe and that miserable look on his face. I’m so mad we didn’t get all 16 episodes but I heavily recommend it regardless it’s a really interesting watch and a very nice sight if you know what I mean. You’re welcome pookie.
He’s legit the biggest slut in the show it’s diabolical like this one British girl wants his ass so bad and she’s married and this man has the audacity to reject her but yet bait her cause he wants that cookie too he’s foul and I want him so bad like girl I do not blame u for being all over that at all
“When I was nine my brother took a bullet that was meant for me. I should be dead. He was fifteen years old. He saved my life. The shooter was our father.”
Taylor Kitsch - Max McLaughlin, “Shadowplay” (2020)
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