[the-absolute-best-posts]

When your pet adjusts their position so they can lay their head on you

[incognitomoustache]

[10knotes]

IMPORTANT

[santa]

me, reading my completely incoherent essay and deciding its ready to be submitted for 30% of my final grade

[officialdankestmemes]

Lyrics: “Cocaine ruin your brain (ay), please don’t do cocaine (ay), cocaine ruin ruin your brain (what), please don’t do cocaine (ay)”

[the-pigeon-king]

This sounds like a man on cocaine

[ardnale]

Fammmm

[deadblogstopfollowingthis]

The one dude headbanging in support has me in tears

[huffpost]

Don’t know if we can look at Coke every the same way again. Be prepared to cringe when you watch the full video  here. 

[verycooltrash-deactivated201505]

sugar caramelizes when heated, more shocking news to follow

[fleshbra]

It’s like that guy setting coffee creamer on fire and being like “people drink this stuff!” and it’s like yeah, a dry powder suspended in air is flammable, shock horror.

[xekstrin]

#i saw a video about how hotdogs are made #PORKCHOP LEFTOVERS OH NOOOOO #??? #get it together people

[geekghoulsmash]

Never show these guys how candy is made, they’ll shit themselves.

[snailchimera]

*quietly facepalms forever*

[pervocracy]

I hate when people try to prove foods are unhealthy using properties utterly unrelated to their value as foods.  You can make anything sound gross if you want to.

Did you know that salt is the same chemical we use to defrost sidewalks?!?!

Did you know that water is a major component in pig urine?!?!

Did you know that bread is made of wheat that has been ground into a powder and artificially reconstituted into a loaf shape using a fungus?!?!

[fuck-social-justice-blogs-deact]

Did u know that oxygen is what Hitler used to breathe?????

[mrrobotico]

Bless all this

[susiephone]

one of the worst parts of college is when you don’t wanna go to class and you think “well……. i COULD skip…….” and then you gotta talk yourself into sucking it up, being a responsible adult, and going to this goddamn fucking stupid class you goddamn fucking hate so goddamn fucking much

[byrneing]

my heart is guarded but like … very poorly. the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an r rated movie.

[bbhsvtdygsau-deactivated2020012]

When someone comes in on a Sunday with a big banana and expects everything to be peaches:

[plasdickbottle]

when your parents let you stay home instead of being forced to go out with them

[bluemurderbunny]

when you’re listening to really fast music that pumps you up but you’re not doing anything particularly exciting so you just sit there super energetically

[dreamgrl1998-deactivated2022072]

my common sense watching my idiot brain overthink everything

[gerwoman-deactivated20160523]

rapper in a song: you know who this is!!

me: 

[justlikebirds]

i think harry styles escaped from a cheesy romance novel into real life and is now wandering the world making everyone fall in love with him

[celinedijonmustard-deactivated2]

me: i want to have sex 

someone: just go out and have a one night stand with someone it’s not that hard 

me and my emotional monogamy craving ass:

[the-absolute-funniest-posts]

when you get home and got the next day off

[curlsandstems]

Don’t do drugs, ladies and gents. 😂😭😂😭😂😭

[thewanderingnegro-deactivated20]

“Whats your safe word?”

[curlsandstems]

That part had me weak 😂😭😂😭😂😭 

[paninimami]

“You think I’m in pilates?”😭

[trashg0d-deactivated20180217]

“watch ya fingers bootyhole man!!” Lmfaooaoaoaoooo

[justcariii]

Lol i need to be his friend

[southernbitchface]

“Every strong man got a sensitive side”

[h3llraizer]

Lmaooooooooooooooooo

[7thblacksheep-deactivated201907]

“Ooo that’s cute”

[decolonialtheoryandweed]

Bruh I love this dude! Why is he getting arrested and is there a link for us to send money to bail him out?

[cuticleoil]

maroon 5: I tried my best to feed her appetite keep her cumming every night so hard to keep her satisfied

7 year old me: