i. nothing feels right anymore.
i can feel my own heartbeat while laying in bed at
night. i used to not be able to. everything i see is a
blur. i cant focus on one thing anymore. i spend my
nights crying with my face pressed into my mattress.
i hold my stomach because i feel you there the most.
perhaps its the lack of food.
ii. nobody told me this would be so hard.
i was expected to get over you right away, but i cant.
i tried filling your missing spot with boys who do not
matter to me and its not working. i cant talk about
you without getting shit for it and maybe its my fault.
i’ve learned to keep my mouth shut.
iii. the thought of me disappearing sounds nice.
i’ve come to realize my name is ghosty for a reason
because i have a habit of vanishing when i get bad
again. nothing sounds nicer than trashing all of the
friendships i’ve worked so hard on fixing that still
aren’t enough. each comment is a slap to the face.
iv. i used to want to run away with you and i still do.
if i hadn’t ruined things, maybe we’d be somewhere
else right now. somewhere we can breathe. away
from our mothers we always talked shit about. i
know you made fun of your ex for saying this but its
v. my heart will always be yours.
you’ll remain the boy who finally made me feel
something after years of being numb and shutting
people out. i promise i tried and maybe thats where i
vi. i finally deleted your playlist the other day.
however, each song that plays still reminds me of
you. i found a new song that makes me cry every
time it plays yet i still play it.
vii. i don’t know how to get over you.
nothing i do is enough. the distractions will stop
sooner or later and ill be stuck again. i try so hard
every night not to call or text you and cry to you. i
don’t know how much longer i can hold off.
prguitarman
romaincrisis
dededos
vaporwave
snowghoul
kaledo-art
2087
discoholicmusic
jacobvanloon
