ššššššš ššššššĀ :Ā ycllowhaired
Ā Ā Ā she knows the portrait is smeared with blood . only the corner , it was hardly noticeable to the judge . an act of defiance , a rebellion . she would not be his ! she wanted to cry . johanna would never be . yet she was trapped in his fist . stricken down at the first step .Ā Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā every girl wanted a beautiful wedding . white , frilly , flowered . weddings were beautiful . it was a pity the first one johanna ever attended was her own . & she knows how that was . she had nothing to compare it to .Ā Ā
Ā Ā Ā āit sounds beautiful .ā& johanna wishes she can be there for this imaginary wedding . though she does not know if the judge will allow her . it took him catching her with a bottle of arsenic nearing her lips for him to allow this one visit .āwe will have to find you the perfect dress , then . one that works for an inside wedding & for one outdoors .ā
Ā Ā Ā a shaky hand reaches for the drawer , fingers crease the first paper inside . nessa deserves a better look of her wedding , since it seems she is close to having her own . not the blood stained wedding day johanna knows . the sketch was for the artist , but it was left behind when the frame containing the actual painted portrait was dropped off .āthis is the sketch the artist drew as a reference , ā johanna whispers ,Ā ā if you want to see it .ā
Ā Ā Ā her expression is blank . eyes are empty of the sadness she saw in the mirror that day . the artist did her a service . johanna did not look sad . merely empty . her small frame compared to the judgeās made her look like a mouse caught by a cat . she hatesĀ looking at it . it is only another reminder .āwould you like your portrait to be painted for your wedding , too ?ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ššššššš Ā ššššš Ā reachĀ forĀ theĀ portraitĀ ,Ā herĀ gazeĀ onceĀ againĀ becomingĀ quiteĀ jealousĀ ofĀ herĀ friendĀ .Ā itĀ didnātĀ matterĀ ifĀ theĀ weddingĀ wasnātĀ asĀ memorableĀ asĀ johannaĀ hadĀ wantedĀ itĀ toĀ beĀ ;Ā theĀ dressĀ wasĀ beautifulĀ ,Ā ifĀ notĀ modestĀ (Ā thoughĀ itĀ suitedĀ herĀ typicalĀ styleĀ ,Ā soĀ nessaroseĀ didnātĀ seeĀ anyĀ problemĀ )Ā andĀ sheĀ lookedĀ beautifulĀ .Ā moreĀ importantlyĀ ,Ā sheĀ wasĀ withĀ someoneĀ whoĀ soĀ desperatelyĀ wantedĀ toĀ beĀ withĀ herĀ .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā theĀ circumstancesĀ ofĀ johannaāsĀ marriageĀ wereĀ certainlyĀ unusualĀ ,Ā butĀ nessaĀ couldĀ notĀ beĀ oneĀ toĀ judgeĀ ;Ā differentĀ regionsĀ hadĀ differentĀ customsĀ ,Ā andĀ itĀ wouldĀ beĀ terriblyĀ rudeĀ toĀ assumeĀ theĀ worstĀ ofĀ someoneĀ basedĀ solelyĀ onĀ howĀ itĀ appearedĀ toĀ herĀ --Ā especiallyĀ consideringĀ theĀ factĀ thatĀ sheĀ wasĀ asĀ muchĀ ofĀ anĀ outsiderĀ asĀ possibleĀ .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ ohĀ ,Ā youĀ lookĀ absolutelyĀ beautifulĀ ,Ā āĀ nessaĀ saysĀ ,Ā fantasizingĀ ofĀ oneĀ dayĀ havingĀ herĀ ownĀ weddingĀ ,Ā withĀ aĀ painterĀ thereĀ toĀ captureĀ herĀ joyĀ .Ā johannaĀ lookedĀ soĀ matureĀ ,Ā lackingĀ theĀ youthĀ thatĀ sheĀ hasĀ evenĀ nowĀ .Ā weddingsĀ didĀ thatĀ ,Ā sheĀ supposesĀ .Ā āĀ iāllĀ haveĀ toĀ getĀ theĀ contactĀ informationĀ forĀ whomeverĀ didĀ thisĀ .Ā ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā aĀ pauseĀ ,Ā silenceĀ fillingĀ theĀ airĀ forĀ aĀ fewĀ momentsĀ .Ā nessaĀ feelsĀ somewhatĀ foolishĀ ,Ā speakingĀ asĀ ifĀ sheĀ reallyĀ wereĀ gettingĀ marriedĀ .Ā notĀ onlyĀ didĀ boqĀ seemĀ uninterestedĀ inĀ trulyĀ settlingĀ downĀ ,Ā butĀ herĀ fatherĀ wasĀ againstĀ theĀ ideaĀ ofĀ herĀ marryingĀ someoneĀ soĀ commonĀ (Ā andĀ ,Ā asĀ longĀ asĀ heĀ wasĀ aliveĀ ,Ā forbadeĀ itĀ )Ā .
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ thatĀ isĀ ,Ā whenĀ theĀ timeĀ comesĀ forĀ meĀ ,Ā āĀ sheĀ correctsĀ herselfĀ ,Ā clearingĀ herĀ throatĀ justĀ slightlyĀ ,Ā inĀ anĀ attemptĀ toĀ hideĀ theĀ truthĀ behindĀ herĀ silenceĀ .Ā āĀ myĀ fatherĀ doesnātĀ wantĀ meĀ rushingĀ intoĀ thingsĀ ,Ā yetĀ wantsĀ meĀ toĀ beĀ pairedĀ offĀ ,Ā soĀ toĀ speakĀ ,Ā beforeĀ heĀ passesĀ .Ā āĀ Ā