The way she tackles his frustrations—it's different. He's had explosive episodes, screaming matches where things ended quickly there with other lovers who saw him less. There's a fear that strikes when she's quiet, they haven't really fought before. Not much to fight about when they'd kept things so simple thus far. Sort of. Jade's shared what their relationship gives to him, but not so much what it takes. New worries that their time together, the same but different, might be the very thing Ada would be bored by. Wondering if he was different, or someone else, that life might smile on him kindly and let him have the woman he wanted. Hates that it gets to this point to hear more from her, but Jade drinks up every word, filling in spaces previously blank regarding Ada's feelings.
Jade asks himself, right then, what he's looking for with his line of questions. What he really means to say to her. He knows the answer, but avoids it. Knows it would rock the boat too much and push her away. This little life he pictured of them wasn't enough. For Ada, he knows that now, but there are worries it wouldn't quite fill his cup the same way he wanted it to. If she only asked, though. It'd be different; he'd say yes so quickly, he'd drop everything. Finances, fame, family, all easily pushed aside for her. It's a reckless, ill-thought-out want, despite Jade being drawn to those types of escape hatches. Even if after six months she'd grow sick of him and send him back to stardom, he'd lose it all, for that precious time together. But she doesn't ask him to give it all up. No, she's much more level-headed than that. Gives him his freedom within these walls, touches him, owns him, then releases him back into the wild.
"You know, I would never tell..." Expectations that his curiosity would be satiated are low, but he wants her to know. That her secrets could be his, too, and he could handle whatever kept her away from him. He thinks he can. Doesn't really want to guess what she does. Does Jade even really care? No, he wants to feel the closeness from hearing it. The one thing, after all these years, that keeps her from him. Wonders if the cat was out of the bag, maybe it wouldn't be all too bad, they could figure out something that worked where they could be together. If she wanted it. Him. Her answers are still so vague, and he's left wondering what, exactly, that feeling was. Wants to believe she's found it with him, but if she had, and it was really the most important thing, why months between their meet-ups?
"Life can be so unfair." Hovering there, wanting to kiss her, he rubs the tips of their noses together. The anger hasn't dissipated; it's clear from his voice, but it's swirling with this overbearing want. And it takes over him, as it so often does, when he thinks of missing this opportunity. He's always so gentle when he touches Ada, like he might break her, but he enjoys when she's sooo near, his arms pulling her closer, the heat between them growing. "Money has to be everything for me, for now." he confesses, not knowing any other way to live. Jade takes a deep breath. He needs a larger safety net before taking a leap. Clearly not an option to pull her into his life, nor could he realistically join hers. Not with that name, not with his face everywhere. "But it's just not fair."
He kisses her, then, at least to lessen some of the weight on his chest. Cause it could be her, but he knows it won't be. No, nothing really played out the way he wanted. Even their music is perfect, but challenging to get to. His and Leo's ideas battle until other members can make sense of the mess, finding something worth listening to. Not really Jade's in the end, however much Ada was threaded through the work. "I'm stressed, it's distracting me." Voice breaks the connection, tossing his head backwards and letting it rest against the pillows. He groans; he's being dramatic, but Jade's torn, stuck here too. "I just don't want to leave you, I can't..."