the same sinking vessel .

𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲

[woerended]

pinned .

an original character roleplay blog by marceline / ten years of development / 22+ years of rp experience / inconsistent activity !!

rules | bio | verses

[kirakiras]

Lightly massages her earlobes between her fingers. "I'm glad. Honored, truly, to be allowed to indulge in such privileges."

Shoulders relax, hands pausing activity, as she feels the weight of Lexi's arms on her shoulders. Stares at her a moment with curious tilt of the head. Then, hands continue with their touching. Moving back up into her hair, fingertips massage the scalp. "Does this feel good?"

[woerended]

She can't help the light snicker that escapes her lips at that. Ah, yes, the great privilege...If anything, she feels like the privileged one here.

At the touch of her scalp, she lets out an imperceptible little hitch of breath, instinctively leaning into it like a cat who hasn't had quite enough of being pet yet. Her lashes flutter, gaze soft and...responsive? She probably wouldn't have even needed to verbalize a response for Kimi to tell exactly what she was thinking, but she spoke anyway. "Really good. Don't laugh at me if I purr."

[kirakiras]

Cute.

"I just wanted to touch you. Is that alright? I can stop if you don't want me to."

[woerended]

"Mm? Oh-- No, that's...more than okay, actually." She blinks, slips her arms tenderly 'round the other's shoulders.

[woerended]

ruffles lexi's hair. pinches her cheeks. rubs her hands on her cheeks.

@kirakiras / answered .

Ack. She just kinda...ducks her head, nuzzles it into Kimi's hands a bit. "Mmmm? What? Have I been good?"

[woerended]

𝐀𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐈 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐀𝐬 𝐈 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐈𝐟 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮

[woerended]

Adam will be hereafter referred to as Lexi! She's a trans woman canonically now. Happy pride, my friends. 💖

[kirakiras]

Contrary, her gaze does not move from lover's face. Refuses to. The shadows her dark lashes cast as she looked down, the veins on pale eyelids, the soft purple that dusted her cheeks, the shape of her lips and the line that parted them, and every visible pore on her face---she couldn't look away from any of it.

Skin tingles where it's touched, and she thinks how easily she could go on with playful gestures and lighthearted words. Would it have been enough? Maybe it would have been enough. But it would have been only half sincere.

A single, slow, rebutting shake of her head. "Not always. I think I can be quite clumsy sometimes." and then, "You and I alike."

It's here she looks away a moment---only a moment---unsure if it's guilt that pinches her chest or a different, yet similar, still undescribed feeling. When she looks back it's with a softness. "No. What I mean is--uh..." She tucks her hand under Adam's, as if she intended to lift it, but instead it stays on the floor, one of her fingers drawing light circles against the inside of her palm. "I can't say with total certainty if nothing's changed, or WILL change, nor whether there will be things that are different. I don't---I don't actually know. Sorry." Eyes squint. "But I want to leave you without a single bit of room to doubt that this much hasn't changed."

[woerended]

It's funny, really. She doesn't feel like, now of all times, should be the moment where she feels more confident...But it's true. Things probably will be different, there's no way they couldn't be, right? But even so, even just this little confidence alone is worth so much to her. She softens visibly, hand remaining stable atop Kimi's own as she nods.

"You don't have to apologize, I...figured as much."

"...But what matters to me is here. You're here. We can figure out the rest." They always did. Things had already changed so much since they first met, after all. At the start of all of this, she hadn't even thought she would be able to be with...anyone. She couldn't imagine a life for herself where she wasn't constantly looking over her shoulder, constantly isolating herself for the sake of the people around her.

She couldn't have dreamed of loving someone like this.

"I trust you."

[woerended]

“You can do it. Just don’t die.”

@daemonry / answered .

Hah! Pretty tall order, considering. She blinks, almost has to take a moment to register the words because...well, yes, they seem so obvious but she hasn't had to consider them in a normal way for so long.

"...Mm, don't think I'll have any trouble with that!" She nods, smile weary. Even if she did, it wouldn't last long after all.

[rpmemes-galore]

random dialogue prompts … sentence starters

“I’d keep you safe.”

“You’re nothing to me.”

“I wouldn’t advise that…”

“I wish I had your courage.”

“Anger makes you careless.”

“You can do it. Just don’t die.”

“A hero’s work is never done.”

“Do I really mean so little to you?”

“I’m not going to make a deal with you.”

“Everything is an illusion. Trust nothing.”

“You’re not as bad as they say you are.”

“You aren’t the person you think you are.”

“Do you learn nothing from your mistakes?”

“Don’t go rushing in. You’ll end up like them.”

“You have a lot of bite for someone so small.”

“Nothing I do will ever be good enough, will it?”

“Do you think redemption can really be earned?”

“I don’t need your forgiveness. I did nothing wrong.”

“I don’t need you to apologize. I need you to do better.”

“You think you have to prove yourself to me. You don’t.”

“If you don’t come back, I’m going to be very, very upset.”

“How can you possibly sleep with all this on your conscience?”

“You’re not a lost cause. Not enough people have told you that.”

“Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me? Don’t answer that.”

“There’s nothing to be said. Everything I could say, I already have.”

“I’ve been nothing but truthful with you… so, why won’t you trust me?”

“Considering the stories I’ve heard, I was expecting someone scarier.”

“Haven’t I given enough? Haven’t I lost enough? Haven’t I fought enough?”

“You never seem scared. You’re never caught off-guard. How do you do it?”

“I’m not the one for you. I’d only make your life worse, and we both know it.”

“I’m making us tea/coffee/hot cocoa, and then you’re telling me what’s wrong.”

“Can you just… just stop! Stop for a second and think about what you’re doing!”

“Something’s clearly going on. Keeping me in the dark about it won’t help anything.”

“I don’t need to justify myself to them/you. I know what I have to do. And I’m going to do it.”

“Keep chasing everyone away… and there’ll be no one there to have your back when you need them.”

[woerended]

@batoushoujo: Laughs! Notes for what?? You gonna do it back?

"Mmm? Well, I meant more like...so that's how that feels, but...you're going to give me ideas."

[kirakiras]

"Differently?" Head lightly bumps against other's as it tilts, finger resting at her chin. A hum, as pensive as she can muster. "Let's have a look, hm? To see what's changed."

She shifts, disturbing any attempt at relaxing, leaning forward to inspect their hands, clasped together. And then, more closely, her hand. Kimi carefully inspects every finger, from permanent black polish, down to the knuckle. And then she's flipped it over, own finger tracing along lines of the palm. A nod. "These are still the hands I want to hold and be held by."

Then thumb is brushing over her wrist, and up her arm. Then, next, her fingers are tracing the length of her neck, the line of her jaw, until open palm comes to rest on her cheek. Her eyes linger here a moment. Before meeting her eyes. And this...is still the person I like. She leans in. Closer. Less than an inch away. Eyes close. She presses a kiss on her cheek.

[woerended]

It's always easier than she expects, with Kimi. Whatever little resistances always dwell in her that make her shoulders tense and her back stiffen aren't here. They don't get in the way.

Her fingers idly flex at that, as if suddenly aware of themselves at the moment of her acknowledgement. She feels like...an interface? No. It's not so impersonal. But it does feel like she's functioning that way, accepting input, effortlessly synced to. The kiss connects and, for once, she doesn't even squirm in the way she might when she's particularly embarrassed.

But even so, there is a guilt to it. There always is. There's no fight, but there is this burning, indelicate thing sitting in her, telling her she can't let go. Telling her she doesn't deserve this, that she's cheating the system, that she's getting something for free without pain...that she can't have both!

But it's swallowed when she returns the gesture, lashes fluttering, fingers brushing Kimi's arm as their foreheads touch. It's what I want, too, so forget that. Forget deserving or not deserving anything.

"Gosh..." There's the blush, finally. The lowering gaze which suddenly finds the texture of the floor very fascinating for some reason. "You're always so smooth, at times like this."

[woerended]

Scoops her up like a princess!

@batoushoujo / answered .

"Ah--" There's a freeze there for a moment, as she feels her feet slide up and off the ground. She's halfway expecting to be dropped, or even tossed. Instead she's huddled in, her head touching Tem's shoulder as a heat rises to her cheeks. There's something comparably delicate about that, that brings her attention to just how tense she usually is without thinking about it, and how that tension's currently fading.

"...Okay, smooth as hell, taking notes."

[kirakiras]

"What do you mean? In what way?" She sticks a puzzle piece into its place. She peeks at the other. "Do you feel it's out of place?"

Was a different sor t of reaction expected of her, she wonders. Not a bad one, but a different one. She's not sure. But...

Hand has taken hold of Adam's under the table.

[woerended]

There's a small hitch in breath, a squeeze in return as she starts to fumble her way out of the box she's been so tightly squeezed into until now.

"Mm, n-no, I mean...I don't think I was really expecting anything specific...and you know I trust you." Her head leans on Kimi's shoulder a bit, posture gradually relaxing. "I guess I just...didn't know if it'd be a big change, like...if you would see me differently, or something..."

[purugi]

oh! forgive me, lord! oh! i'm a good girl!

[batoushoujo]

　　Tem doesn't normally feel anxious after this sort of thing, not with her, at least, but she can't help feeling like she's done something wrong. It's kind of rude to spring that on someone after they revealed something so deeply personal, huh?

　　Her hands fall gently and she takes a small step back, giving Lexi a little room to breathe.　　“Kind of a strange response to the ice girl, don't you think?”　Tem remarks with a laugh, and then shakes her head.　“C'monーlet's go have a normal day.”

[woerended]

She can't help but giggle at that. True, actually! Even so, she's practically as warm as a light-bulb to the touch at the moment. Everything with them has always been unconventional, so she doesn't suppose she's going to start being bothered now.

If that makes her weird, so be it.

She tilts her head playfully to that, nods. She feels a bit more...present? And like she has less reason to hide away. She tugs at her jacket she wears out of habit, allows it to droop so she can tie the arms of it around her waist instead as she follows.

"Sounds perfect to me."

[xboobayaga]

I never knew another way of life My baby brain collected all the strife My father told me, "Gotta just survive" You drink the poison, gotta pay the price

[woerended]

Not that I expect anyone's going to push back on how I decide to write my own OC, but if anyone is wondering why I've decided to do this now...

Frankly, I think it just has a lot to do with what Adam, now Lexi, has meant to me as an OC over the years? I made her when I, myself, thought I was a cis boy over a decade ago, but so many aspects of who she is and what she represented to me seem like such screamingly obvious things to me now. Like? Someone disempowered, forcibly given a body she doesn't want, puppeted around by some infecting force? You better believe I felt that at the time, in ways I didn't know how to recognize or voice.

Nowadays, I'm much more bluntly aware of those things. I think metaphor doesn't really just need to stay metaphor in this case. And I think if I deserve to be happy, she does too.