Wolfsmilk @wolfsmilk - Tumblr Blog

John Everett Millais (8 June 1829 – 13 August 1896) The Bridesmaid Oil on panel, 1851 20.3 x 27.9 cm (7.99" x 10.98") Fitzwilliam Museum, Cambridge, United Kingdom

google

funeral

Joanna Frueh, Erotic Faculties

quo-usque-tandem

Oxford, England

herbaklava

Jayme Jo

nixscriptum

rosieandthemoon

Lupins & Foxgloves {via Milli Proust}

rosieandthemoon

By Fedor Lashkov

7pleiades7

The Baleful Head (1886-1887) by Sir Edward Burne-Jones (English, 1833 – 1898), oil on canvas, 155 cm (61 in) x 130 cm (51.1 in), Staatsgalerie Stuttgart

funeral

The heroic child who continues to struggle to make sense out of the world and the people in it, however, is developing a powerful source of strength, no matter what the anguish or bewilderment experienced along the way. Caught in a particularly cruel, frustrating, and irrational environment, he or she will doubtless feel alienated from many of the people in the immediately surrounding world, and legitimately so. But the child will not feel alienated from reality, will not feel, at the deepest level, incompetent to live—or at least he or she has a decent chance to avoid that fate. To persevere with the will to understand in the face of obstacles is the heroism of consciousness.

Often children who survive extremely adverse childhoods have learned a particular survival strategy. I call it “strategic detachment. ” This is not the withdrawal from reality that leads to psychological disturbance, but an intuitively calibrated disengagement from noxious aspects of their family life or other aspects of their world. They somehow know, This is not all there is. They hold the belief that a better alternative exists somewhere and that someday they will find their way to it. They persevere in that idea. They somehow know Mother is not all women, Father is not all men, this family does not exhaust the possibilities of human relationships—there is life beyond this neighborhood. This does not spare them suffering in the present, but it allows them not to be destroyed by it. Their strategic detachment does not guarantee that they will never know feelings of powerlessness, but it helps them not to be stuck there.

Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

funeral

How does one write from within an absence of memory, from within a loss that is less remembered as a story or an image or a thought than as a mood, an existential void, or a sense of annihilation? Writing is performed in the shadow of a lost object. Writing is the shadow of an absent voice. Writing assembles an undergrounded body's fragmented speech.

Gabriel Schwab, Haunting Legacies: Violent Histories and Transgenerational Trauma

audreyhepburninblackandwhite

Audrey Hepburn takes a break in between the filming of "The Nun's Story," 1958.

voidpostings1

I keep saying I’ll do it and never do. Maybe because I’ve been writing on Tumblr for so long now, but I really do miss writing in a physical journal. So, I’m going to buy one this week and start. I’m not sure if I will post here anymore or not, but I don’t see much point in staying here. I may re-post images from time to time, but I do feel like if I ever want to seriously write anything (I’m not sure if I’ll ever write a book or novel but I would like to put something cohesive out into the world), I think I need to go back to pen and paper. Whenever I do write, physically write, I can feel a shift in my brain. It is something that cannot really be described. Even when I was writing papers in school, any thoughts that I struggled to type out, if I wrote it down on paper I was able to clarify my thoughts better. So clearly there is something to it.

Anyway, my daughter had her first movie theatre experience last night. We took her to see one of her favorite movies, My Neighbor Totoro. I felt this would be a gently introduction to the big, cinematic screen. She enjoyed herself immensely. I even snuck in some healthy popcorn and her favorite chocolate chip bar so she could still feel the full impact of munching on snacks in a theatre. My husband and in-laws joined us. My husband has watched the movie with us at home several times, but my in-laws have never sat down to watch it before. Even they said they really liked it. It was my first time seeing it in a theatre, so my inner child was giddy. And again, this is all part of my big master plan to get my in-laws more involved in the way I feel they should be. This movie it’s important to my daughter, its message is important, the way it is so relatable to everyone is important. I wanted them to feel it, to reminisce on the innocence of childhood, to understand that not every moment in a child’s life should be structured and guided rigidly by an adult. That children have their own worlds and they are just as important. Also the importance of the natural world and how it can have such a huge impact on a child. So, while this entire experience was very much for my daughter, it was for us adults too. And now maybe when I tell them I have found some other children’s movie or book or whatever, from some country far away, they won’t look at me like I have three heads and ask why I don’t just allow her to be submerged in modern Disney slop (and honestly, the only two Disney movies she has ever really enjoyed are Robin Hood and The Little Mermaid, all the other Disney classics she’s seen - which admittedly are few and far between - she has showed no interest in).

I guess the point I’m trying to get across (especially to my mother-in-law) is that just because it is veered toward children doesn’t mean it possesses anything that nourishes the soul. Totoro nourishes a child’s soul. Little Bear nourishes a child’s soul. Bluey is fun and entertaining,funny and I think really helps both children and parents navigate a modern world where children depend so much on their parents in ways they didn’t used to. But movies like Moana (my MIL wanted to take her to see it with her cousin) are very shallow, despite their attempts to send a deeper message. They lack real artistry, they lack a palatable, realistic depth, they lack peace and time for the child to fully absorb what is happening, or what they’re seeing.

My point is, I guess, that any media my daughter consumes right now needs to have these qualities, and I needed them to experience it for themselves so they could at least begin to understand.

Other than that, I woke up today at 4am with my husband so he could start showing me some stretch techniques. I plan to do this every day with him until I feel comfortable doing it by myself. And I’m hoping this will ease me in and prepare my body for actual workouts soon.

There’s a lot going on for me at the moment. They are small, subtle things, but they take a ton of thought, care and consistency. I’m trying to go easy on myself and my daughter but some days are very hard (for both of us). But I continue trying to push through it all and keep us moving forward.

Anyways, if you actually read my posts and don’t hear from me for a while, it’s hopefully because I’m scribbling away in a physical journal.

#personal