days like these - word count: 696
On days like these, James Potter was easily able to put on his mask. He spoke just as loudly, laughed just as much but on the inside; everything felt empty. There were only a few people who could tell when James had his mask on: his best friend Sirius and his other best friend Lily.
Sirius knew when James was faking but never pressed him to talk, which James was immensely grateful for. Instead, he’d linger closer and pull James away from big crowds, leading to less performing and more resting.
Lily knew that despite James’s loud nature, on days like these he needed quiet. So instead of studying in the library, she’d keep him company in the Gryffindor common room and use her head girl privileges to scare anyone off who might hinder their quiet time.
James was incredibly grateful for them both, but still no one was able to warm the coldness that filled his body and mind on those days.
That was until, Regulus Black.
They’d been dating for three months, and James hadn’t had a single bad day. He thought maybe they were gone now that he was so happy, but unfortunately, that’s not how the brain works.
When they saw each other for breakfast that morning, Regulus knew immediately.
“Something’s wrong,” Regulus said in his usual placid tone as he approached James.
“Nothing’s wrong, love. I’m fine.” James replied, attempting one of his signature smiles.
Regulus scowled, “You’re lying.”
Before he could question him any further, the bells went off, signalling the beginning of lessons.
“I’m fine, love, I promise!” James called as he was whisked away to class.
Later that day, Regulus went to find the only other person who knew James better.
“Something’s wrong with James.” Regulus said as he cornered Sirius at the end of an empty corridor.
Sirius didn’t deny it. He’d known about Regulus and James for only a few weeks and was clearly still getting used to it. This was the first time they’d ever discussed James without him present.
“Yeah,” Sirius sighed, “he— he gets like this sometimes. Usually, people don’t notice.”
“Well I’m not ‘people’ i’m-“
They stood in silence for a few seconds, accepting the fact that they both understood James meant a lot to Regulus.
“What do you mean ‘gets like this’?” Regulus asked.
“I mean, he has bad mental health days, but he doesn’t like to talk about it. He acts fine, but he’s not. Not really. Lily and I are the only ones who really know.”
Regulus knew how pathetic and desperate he must look right now, but he didn’t care. He wanted James to be okay.
“You can’t fix this, Reggie,” Sirius responded in a tone that sounded almost heartbroken.
And that nickname. He hadn’t called him that in years.
“So what do I do?” Regulus asked.
“Be with him. Don’t make him talk or do anything. Just be there.”
Regulus nodded and began to walk away when Sirius called out.
Regulus turned to look at his brother.
“You make him happy, that’s all he needs right now, alright. He just needs you.”
“You think I’ll be enough?” Regulus whispered, praying Sirius wouldn’t hear him.
“You’ll always be enough for him.” Sirius said firmly, “And me.”
Before he did something ridiculous like cry, Regulus nodded once more and began making his way to where he knew his boyfriend would be hiding.
He’d made the room give him a cosy cottage, and when Regulus entered, the fireplace was blazing with James curled up on the little couch.
“Hey,” Regulus whispered, sitting down gently next to James as not to startle him.
“I lied to you before,” James mumbled from under his blanket.
“I know.” was all Regulus needed to say, “Come here.”
As James sat up, Regulus gently pulled him into his chest and laid down with him.
They stayed there for what felt like hours, with Regulus stroking James’ hair as he slowly fell asleep against him, but not before a muttered, “Thank you.”
Regulus just kissed the top of his head and let him drift off.
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