ser erryk cargyll x targaryen! reader | prologue: the realm's craving
In honor of Queen Aemma's labors beginning, King Viserys the First and his two twin daughters, Rhaenyra and Y/n, host and sponsor an heir's tournament. The Realm's Delight was a title owned to Rhaenyra, rider of Syrax and the King's cup bearer, the older twin. Though Y/n wore the title: The Realm's Craving, rider of Nymeria and wielder of Blackfyre; Y/n made her reputation known for being the princess whom was outspoken and untouchable, wielding the conqueror's blade just after Jaehaerys.
word count: 2.4k | warnings: reader is described to have pale white hair and to look like visenya (plus largely endowed in the chestâŚ), graphic descriptions of violence, y/n is otto's biggest opp, viserys you fool, slight misogyny. | author's note: welcome back! i fear i will not get over elliott tittensor as ser erryk, i hope you enjoy this series and it will be much longer! also, i took the liberties to spice up the reader. - i will update the meadow in which you lay soon!
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"Since the dawn of our birth, father has exceedingly taken an interest in marrying us both off to a Valyrian house dear sister" you teased to your sister just before you saddled onto your dragon mounts, "And solemnly for us, Princess Rhaenys and Lord Corlys have only one male child".
Nymeria was a pale purple dragon, reminiscent of your eyes that passed down through generations of Targaryen lineages, your sister's eyes were painted blue, just as your mother's and father's. The townsfolk all spoke of your appearance in great detail in the days they ever saw you. "The favorable yet quieter and fiercer twin", "The twin with more Targaryen than Arryn in her", "The Princess with the mounds of Valryia", "The actual Dark Sister", and your personal favorite, "*King Maegor as a consort".
"I love our father dearly but I do not wish to be married off⌠especially to someone of father's tastes" Rhaenyra spoke as she pet Syrax, earning a light coo from the dragon. Nymeria was larger than Syrax though smaller than Vhagar due to age, the Dragonkeepers all spoke of Nymeria being the dragonseed of Meraxes or Vhagar.
As your sister and yourself took off on riding into the skies of King's Landing, jesting one another into a race. Nymeria outshined Syrax though both dragons were quite fond of one another, sisters though did not share an eggs hatch. If Rhaenyra were to be the daughter of Westeros, you were the daughter of the dragons. Though your father was staunchly disagreed with your attitude and the lack of conformity both you and your sister paraded, he wished you both to be near silent and seen sisters, rather than heard.
The clouds felt soft against your skin, your hair braided strategically and your dress flowing in the wind, the fabric straining against your body leaving little to the imagination of what you were gifted with when you came of age. Your father always ordered your clothes to be modest, fearing the great houses and his council were to mistake you for a whore he would say, though you defied him endlessly, giving the king no ounce of rest. The high-born folk and townsfolk were the same when it came to you and commenting on your bodice, horny men clutched to their belts in restraint and shifted in their seats or stance whenever you were present in court, jealous women who were displeased by your body as their husband's had lack the respect for their wife, it was not your problem you told yourself. It was nature's design to be given a body like yours, your mother tiredly reassured you, being of Targaryen and Arryn lineage, your body was evidence of years of warriors. Though, she refrained from calling you what everyone else did, "Visenya's twin".
You did not see being compared to Visenya as an insult, though not your direct ancestor, Visenya was still a beautiful woman- who's beauty matched her brain. She is the reason your father has a Kingsguard by his side, the reason Daemon now has Dark Sister, the reason for your own beauty. You wore it as a badge of honor rather than a distasteful insult, often wondering if Daemon did not stain and smear your family name with his unfiltered temper that aged well before you and Rhaenyra were birthed, if you were to be named Visenya as well. Daemon's temper was compared to that of Maegor and his mother's, when you came of age of six-and-ten with Rhaenyra, your father once joked, "Now we must wait and see whom Visenya will be, and whom will be Maegor". His eyes landed on you at the instance of saying Maegor's name; you remember viscerally crying in your chambers that night, questioning if your father saw you as a nuisance of the family. Twins only meant that one child was not planned, and Rhaenyra was the older twin.
They used to speak of Aegon's feats as a soldier and warrior, though never of him being a husband or a father. Rumors and tales were spoken of Targaryen men, they are either fierce knights, or wonderful fathers. You'd wager your father was neither, but only under your breath you'd say such a thing. They would also speak of Aegon's love for his wives, for every one night he'd spend with Visenya, he'd spend ten with Rhaenys. They'd also speak of Visenya's unfaltering fidelity to Aegon, but how there were whispers at court that Rhaenys took younger men to her bed on the nights Aegon would be with Visenya. You almost felt pity for the woman, her son abused and neglected whilst her sister's sired kin were cherished and respected. Underneath it all, Visenya was still an amazing queen and consort, even with the wicked feats of Maegor, that was still her baby, even so as she waged the revenge of her younger sister's death. Though you were technically younger than Rhaenyra, you were her Visenya.
"We should see ourselves back, to check on mother" you spoke up to your sister, shouted as she was a distance away from you. She nodded at your advisement, both of you delving down into the ground, racing once again. Upon reaching the ground, met with Ser Harold and the dragonkeepers, along with a carriage that revealed Alicent. You were never too fond of Alicent, though she was your sister's dear friend and lady-in-waiting, your fondness resided in Laena, forming an inseparable bond as she rode Vhagar and you rode seemingly, Vhagar's closest kin.
"I am taking you are here for the tourney our fathers are planning Alicent?" you questioned as you removed your gloves and slid off Nymeria's mount, petting your dragon once more before touching her with your forehead in order to bid farewell as she was taken by the dragonkeepers. Walking up to the Lady before looking back to see your sister dismounting from Syrax. Alicent only nodded at your question, you could barely earn a few words from Alicent, often wondering if it was because you were the second daughter to the king, yet still a higher-born daughter than any great house of Westeros. Or if it was due to the desire her brother held for you, though you always shut down his advances, it was insult to you that he felt the privilege to speak to you, the eldest son of the second son to a noble but not great house. You'd never soil your family's name and heritage to wed a Hightower, it was not your taste.
As you walked off, Rhaenyra and Alicent engaged in conversation, you mounted yourself on a horse before looking at Ser Ryam, you were fond of him though, wildly attracted to his newly appointed kingsguard, the Cargyll twins. Tall lads they were, only two-name days older than you and your sister, their hairs match each other's short and disheveled but strategically disheveled, almost as if they both wanted to appear more desirable. Though your desire for the new brothers did not blind you of the health of Ser Ryam, noticing his energy and will to live deplete as the days pass.
"Will you follow me to the castle Ser Ryam? You look awfully tired" you asked, earning a nod from the knight, before he was named Lord Commander once again, your father had him as your sworn shield for several years. As you rode back to the Red Keep, taking sparing glances back at Ser Ryam, just as you wondered into the woods just before reaching the Keep, slowing down in order to conversate with Ser Ryam.
"Anything on your mind dear princess?" Ser Ryam questioned, his horse taking small gallops.
"Do you believe me to be inept?" you asked for his opinion, "I am taunted with the fact that I am in the body of a woman, yet I decline every Lord's hand, including the handsome Stark boys, though the only man to ever catch my intrigueâŚ" you nearly spoke too much yet too little.
"Is bound to another?" Ser Ryam questioned in confusion. You looked up at the sky in defeat, sighing before shaking your head, chuckling in the depravity of your mind.
"Bound to oaths" you then broke the pregnant silence, "Ser Erryk makes a fine knight, does he? Seeing that he and his brother were sworn in just under a year of training. He is quite the handsome man the townsfolk yelp about" you bit your lip, allowing yourself to vent to the knight.
"He may not take a wife I am afraid, my princess" Ser Ryam begun, only earning a somber look from your face, "I too loved a woman before being knighted, she had gone off to marry one of the Tully lads due to my oath. I see her once every blue moon, my love never faltered or betrayed me. I do not blame her for going off to marry, she deserved to be loved in more ways than words, stolen kisses, and nights".
"Do all members of the Kingsguard follow the vow of chastity?" you questioned further.
"We do. Granted I was not in a sticky situation being that of equal ranking to the maiden, though her honor was one I did not want to take lightly. I do pity her husband, it should have been him to be the one to take her maidenhead, not a kingsguard besmirching both her's and I's honor. Our vows are sworn under the seven, as every woman is a picture of the mother, no matter how much we wish it to be individual" Ser Ryam answered honestly, "I am to guard your secrets as well my Princess, any words spoken in this moment are under the eyes of you and me. Though I do advise you, being unmarried puts you at odds if you fall pregnant".
You laughed at the knight's comment, "It is only a crush I am afraid; I am too socially inept to talk to him more than the simply escorts to and from my chambers in the morning and eve".
As you and Rhaenyra walked into the chambers of your mother, being met with kisses on your forehead. You quickly made way to apply warm towels to your mothers' legs as they were swollen, kissing your mother's forehead before moving her hair out of her face as the sweat led it cling onto her skin. You did not envy your mother though she was carrying the burden and joy of life in her. It was you and Rhaenyra who held royal wombs, as your mother would say.
"I will be in the council mother; I will see you in the eve" you told her before dismissing yourself. You never could stomach seeing your mother in agony, Rhaenyra knew it, your mother and father knew it.
As you were met with the knight of your dreams, you smiled carelessly, "May you escort me to the council room, Ser Erryk? I find myself craving conversation to someone who isn't completely eager to marry me off". The knight offered his forearm for you to hold, escorting you to the council room across the Keep and floors down.
"Are you enjoying the preparations for the tourney Princess?" Ser Erryk asked you, both of you never were sure of what to talk about.
"I do wish I were involved in combat I must say, I envy you men for being able to succumb yourselves to violence for a day" you jested, earning a soft smile from the knight, "Are you and Arryk participating? Perhaps I can bless you both with my favor or offer you to hold Blackfyre".
Erryk was stunned greatly of your offer, Blackfyre was a noble sword, the Conqueror's no less, "You honor me more than I deserve princess, though yes, Aryk and I are participating, hopefully we do wish to not have to face your uncle, the prince".
You scoffed silently, smirking at the knight, "Which is why I offered Blackfyre" you instigated the knight as you made your way through the halls. "Daemon wields Dark Sister and I envy him for it, it is an easier fit for a woman's hand. Though, Blackfyre was sworn to me instead of my father by Jaehaerys himself".
Once you made the way to the council room you dismissed Erryk before stating once again, "If you wish to take upon my offer, you can meet in my chambers tonight" the bold words flowed out of your tongue as if it were familiar to you.
The knight nodded, hand finding purchase on the small of your back as you stepped onto the stairs that led into the council room. You bit your lip once again, holding his eyes for a bit too long before Ser Rickard Thorne took notice, clearing his throat in the process. As you straightened your back and bid him a farewell in a glance, moving your body to enter the council room. Noting the heat that electrified between you and the loyal knight. Only choosing to distract yourself with the bland conversations held at your father's table before Rhaenyra made her way into the council room, only then you found yourself amused once again. Tomorrow will be the heir's tournament, a babe outshining you and Rhaenyra, though you hoped to the god's that tonight, the knight of your dreams finds himself taking your offer.
ser erryk cargyll x targaryen! reader | chapter one: heir for a night, heir for eternity
As the tourney begins, Ser Erryk takes up the princess's offer of wielding Blackfyre for a day. To much behest of both the townsfolk and the court, as there were whispers of the princess's perhaps affections of the knight, a kingsguard no less. Princess Y/n Targaryen, the woman of the kingsguard, the woman of Westerosi politics. The tournament thus begins at the announcement of your mother's labors; to fuel your own concerns, your mother's labors were never easily taken care of.
word count: 2.6k | warnings: mentions of childhood abuse, the reader is put through the ringer omg, also reader has bush ok!, erryk you are a fucking g, unprotected sexual intercourse, oral sex (female receiving), descriptions of violence, aemma :( | author's note: ok i wildly enjoyed writing this chapter! song for this chapter is definitely: forwards beckon rebound by adrianne lenker.
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"Princess, I may sound crude, but I believe your breasts to have grown once more" your handmaiden, Hana, spoke up as she attempted to tie the strings of your corset tighter, noting the spillage of your breasts from your dress, cleavage leaving little to nothing to the imagination. You smiled at her as you looked into the mirror, the smile was both of amusement and question, you were nearly a woman, a near adult, your mother always said women stop growing when they reach the age of six and ten.
"It may just be near my bleeding" you shrugged, attempting to fix your breasts so your father wouldn't be vehemently against you attending the tournament, even if you were the one to send ravens to all the great houses, urging to send their best participant in the games. As Hana finished the tying of your corset, you stepped away from the clothing platform, taking one last look at your braided hair, you kept it simple for the tourney, a singular loose braid.
As you exited out of your chambers, looking to both of your sides just to not see a singular knight at your post before remembering most of them were representing their houses in the tournament, a smile grew on your face before you hastily looked down to your feet to not raise any suspicion on your thoughts and memories of last night occupying your emotions and bodily function.
During the late and dark hours of night, you heard a light knock on your chamber doors. In your mind you silently prayed it was Erryk or Rhaenyra; the day made you tiresome, unable to interact with the people of your father's court once more. Getting up from your bed, fixing the light lace, near transparent, nightclothes that clung to your body, your nipples and bare skin exposed for view. Though you did not care, hiding behind the door as you answered it. Being met with the gaze of Erryk, smiling as you both locked eyes, opening the door wider as an invitation.
The knight was stunned by your choice of apparel and lack thereof, "I do consider this offer both generous and noble my princess, but I am for certain if one were to find us like this⌠your father-".
"Would probably have your tongue, or behead you" you chuckled, walking across your room to your firepit, Blackfyre being placed idly on the mantle, "You mustn't worry Ser Erryk, I would wildly defend you before my father even laid his arse on the throne to decree". As you grabbed Blackfyre from the mantle, turning your front to the knight, body on complete display, with little to nothing being hidden from the knight's gaze. Locking eyes with the knight before dropping your gaze to the man's lips, stubble growing lightly below his nose, signaling his manhood is close ahead.
"I would prefer to keep my tongue, as it is a viable organ" Erryk told you, almost sinfully as his gaze told a different story. "Princess I-".
You almost immediately cut him off with a kiss, albeit throwing yourself at the knight, his hands draping themselves along your waist, hands holding you securely, the knight burned. They say Targaryen's have fire flowing in their veins, that Targaryen's are not easily able to succumb to burns; exemplified as dragon's breath only warms us; not sears our skin. The knight's body was searing into your, his armor making a slippery occlusive against your oiled body. Your hands finding themselves in his hair, Erryk was taller than you by a landslide, your ankles and calves burned lightly from the constant pressure of being near en-pointe. Suddenly, you found yourself thanking your mother for pressuring you and Rhaenyra to learn the art of contemporary dance when you both were children.
Breaking the kiss, Erryk fought for his breath, his face now burning from his own conscious. His forehead rested on yours as you returned to your normal height. Only before you found yourself hungry for more than a kiss, "I lost my maidenhead when I first mounted Nymeria at three and ten. The saddle was too rough" you whisper, "My father refuses us to have a bedding ceremony if and when I am wedded" continuing before teasingly putting the straps down from your nightwear.
"Princess, I have an oathâŚ" he shook his head, his hands betrayed him as they squeezed your waist, his cock hardening by the minute, straining his breeches.
"You swore to the entirety of the royal family, I included" you challenged him, "There is no one here Ser Erryk" you kissed his neck, sucking on his pulse point. Your teases led to Erryk picking you up with ease and placing you on your bed. Only once before in your life you felt this level of anxiousness. Once when your father yelled at you for the incident of your 15th name day, his voice bouncing off the stones and ringing in your ears, you feared he strike you once more.
Now, your heart thumped beneath your chest as the knight looked at you with both lust and love in his eyes. Retaining the eye contact before removing the panties that clung to your cunt from the slick, only then did you remove your lace gown. Erryk's mouth salivated at the sight of your fully bare body, the way every curve moved as if it were the ocean, the scar just under your breast from the time you swung Blackfyre too swiftly and without armor, the hair that wrapped around your cunt, the way your breast laid in opposite directions before you moved your arm to almost shield yourself, only earning a shake of the knight's head. His actions spoke before his words as he removed his armor skillfully, attempting to minimize the noise that would ring through your room and potentially spill into Rhaenyra's.
As his armor was placed on your bedside, the knight's underclothes were hastily untied and removed, his bare body was the work of the gods incarnate. His chiseled body, burning red cock, the scars that littered his body as a testament to his training and battles fought, the hair that trailed to his pelvis, the way his veins were prominent throughout his body. You laid with your legs in a right position, the knight could faintly see the lips of your cunt from the gap between your thighs, opening your legs with his hands before he delved into pleasuring you with his tongue.
His tongue haphazardly found its way to your nub, sending jolts of pleasure to your blood. Not knowing how to contain yourself whilst being bedded, your moans echoed throughout your room. Your torso giving out as the knight held onto your legs to stay in their stagnant position, ravaging your cunt. His left hand found its way to your breasts, squeezing them before toying with your nipples for extra stimulation.
"My princess tastes of sweet and salt almost" he muttered, his voice muffled by your heat, "Beautiful and precious woman you are my princess" you loved how he took possession over your title, praying to the gods that you could just stay here forever being pleasured.
Your climax came rather quickly, leaving a slick trace on the knight's stubble, "Take me, please" you whined, Erryk was stunned wholeheartedly, fearing he would overstimulate you. Though he in the end gave you your wish. As the knight used your cum as lubricant, situating the tip of his cock to your hole, teasing ever-so-slightly. Your nails grazed his back, leaving crescent marks along it. Only before he entered you, did your nails grip tighter, almost breaking skin. You felt his cock pulsating in you, rocking your hips to match the tempo of him fucking you. He toyed with your clit with his fingers, relishing in the feeling of your walls becoming wetter, the sweat of your bodies colliding together as chemicals. Your body glistened in the light, his shined. Your tits caught his eyes as they bounced, though he immediately looked back at your face. Noting the gleam in your lavender irises, kissed by winter flames almost. Feeling yourself come undone once more, you begged for him to finish inside you. As ropes of his cum flooded your cunt, the warm seed breeding even more heat in your body, you felt your body go slack as he laid kisses on your body to calm you.
Laying together the knight spoke up as his hand scratched faintly the creases of your muscle cladded back, "You deserve a husband, a life of love and one that would not require you to break all of these rules princess".
"I do deserve all of those things, though I fear the gods are not the kindest to me" you answered, "Your seed flows through my body Erryk, you may call me Y/n and talk to me plainly as much as you like" you then chuckled before embracing his lips in another kiss, "I do not wish to marry, the moment I laid eyes on you, all the courtships seemingly stood no chance. I must say the rules my ancestors placed were meant to be broken and contested".
"Your father-".
"I love him, but he is not the hearsay of my life, nor was he ever" you interrupted, "As his council uses his name to consecutively use his tongue- with the exception of Beesbury- my father is a near vassal to Otto Hightower". Erryk heard your rants as cries for help, only then did he kiss your forehead.
"I fear I cannot stay the night with you princess Y/n" Erryk sighed before explaining "Come find me after the tourney tomorrow, perhaps we can rendezvous wherever you please".
You smiled at the thought of leaving the Keep's grounds, only until you realized one key detail, "My mother's labors may prohibit our plans".
"Any time you want princess, I am all yours".
As Laena sat next you on your left, Rhaneyra on your right, and Alicent on Rhaenyra's right, gossip was only bound to be shared amongst you. Alicent was older than you and Rhaenyra, you often wondered if she was not the daughter of the Hand of King, if she'd be in yours's and your sister's circle. Laena was your cousin; she would have a place on both of yours's court without question. Though both you and Laena had your suspicions on the Hightowers in Targaryen courts, whispers flooded the Keep deeming Otto a usurper almost, worse than the likes of your uncle Daemon and how he craved the crown or even the position as heir.
"You seem⌠hidden, sister" Rhaenyra whispered to you, taking a glance at the nape of your neck before noticing the light bruising, "Lovebites?".
You swatted her hand away at the note only before signaling her to hush with your index finger meeting your lip, "Pray tell sister!" she chuckled before you craned your neck to whisper in her ear.
"I do not kiss and tell" you told her, seeing her eyes glimmer in the realm of secrecy. They say twins had telepathy almost, you only hoped your sister could see right through you just to save yourself from the eating of guilt that rose from your feet to the top of your head.
It was true, that twins always know, especially that of sisters. As you both viewed the Cargyll twins take mount on their horses for the opening ceremony, she noticed the blood rush to your face at the sight of Erryk- just as Arryk noticed the straightening of Erryk's back at the sight of none other than Princess Y/n Targaryen.
Soon after your father announced the tournament to begin, maesters caught your father's ear, leading him to leave the tournament for once. You noted the look on your father's face only leading your stomach to turn. You excused yourself before Alicent spoke up in an accusatory tone.
"Is Ser Erryk wielding Blackfyre?!".
As the entirety of the court laid eyes on your just as you were about to make leave, you noticed the stingy and albeit piercing gaze on you. Otto and Alicent in particular judging, Rhaenys and Corlys intrigued, Laena and Rhaenyra maintained composure only their eyes told a story of knowing. You cleared your throat before answering, straightening your posture, "I loaned it to the Cargyll twins for the tournament, they are of great service to my mother and my sister and I. I only felt indebted to their protection to allow them to wield the great sword. If it must concern you. Alicent".
Hastily taking your leave and making your way to your mother's chambers. As you ran through the Keep, you quickly felt yourself nearly tripping on your dress and the skirts that were beneath it, gripping on the material and running faster through the halls and up the stairs. Hearing your mother's screams and wails impale themselves in your ears, everything faded to the background. As you reached the doors and flung them open, only to be met with your father talking to the maesters.
"It is decided, your grace" the maester nodded, your father looking to you in confusion before the maesters drunken your mother on more milk of the poppy.
"What is decided?" you questioned, eyes prickling themselves with tears, hearing your mother's groans and seeing the blood coat and cake on her bedding, "Speak!".
Your father quickly snapped at you as he did years upon years of your childhood, only this time, he drew blood, instead of bruises. As he smacked your face, his signet ring leading to cut your own skin. The impact of the smack leading your nose to drip of blood. "Get back to the tourney, you are needed in your mother's aid for her labors-".
"Mother's aid is not being treated as aid for her own!" you spat back, blood splatting onto your father's face just before you further argued, "You are celebrating the miracle of birth with wanton violence, for what father? A fucking heir? You cast away Rhaenyra and I- better yet Daemon- for a fucking heir to the throne because you cannot stand the idea of a woman or another "Maegor" that you much rather put mother through another painful and dreadful birth than deal with your own hypocrisy and Otto Hightower's piss poor judgement of your own kin".
Your father's eye twitched, noting the loss of words your father held just before he spoke in reply, "Return to the tourney, now".
Making your way back to the tournament after cleaning the blood from your face. You returned to the box just to see your uncle Daemon challenging a Dornishman. An unsettling pit remained in your stomach as images of your mother clouded your memory. Not knowing an ounce of peace as the screams pulsed through your eardrums. The tourney came to a close as Daemon surrendered, only then did the defeater as for your sister's favor. Just then, a maester delivered news to Otto, the look of death was all that was seen on the maester's and Otto's face. Only confirming your greatest fear.
Queen Aemma Targaryen, now lay dead due to her labors. Due to your father's greed for a son.
a/n:Â this man... this man, this man. i've missed him so much. he has been on my mind all summer and now i finally snapped and wrote some yummy yum about him.
summary:Â It was terrible, you knew full well that he was your boss, but what had started as an innocent little crush the moment that you were hired as a secretary at Nelson and Murdock only grew and flourished the longer that you worked there. It didnât help matters either that Matthew was a natural flirt, or at least was with you, always making you stumble over your words and blush like a damn schoolgirl. But even though it was the right thing to do, you just couldnât find it in yourself to go on and actually quit, because if you did, then he wouldnât get the chance to make your heart flutter on a daily basis anymore, bittersweet as it may be.
warnings:Â matt murdock x secretary!reader, smut, coworkers to lovers, kissing, office sex, clothed sex, ripping pantyhose, manhandling, oral, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, protected sex, alcohol consumption, foggy slutshames matt (as he deserves. he a hoe and we love him for it)
word count: 4144
âź gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here â˝
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âOkay,â Foggy huffed out a long exhale, âI canât look at this anymore, Iâm going all cross-eyed,â he slammed shut the laptop on the conference table before him, âI gotta call it a night,â and as he raised from his seat, your head tilted up from the intimidating stack of paper your nose was buried in, âany of you up for a round at Josieâs?â
âUhm, actually, I think I might stay here a little longer,â your thumb brushed against the corner of the pile before you, a mountain of perhaps the most boring paperwork youâd ever given your time of day, but the small chance that some tiny nugget hid in there, something that could help the firm on their current case, convinced you to volunteer to take on the job, âsee if I can make a bit more of a dent in this.â
âAlright, fair,â your colleague eyed the papers, then shifted his glance to his partner, seated on the stool directly beside where you sat, âMatt? Come on, man. Donât let your best friend drink alone.â
âIâm sorry,â he shifted slightly in his seat, then uttered in a tone that almost made it sound as if he was just making up his answer to match yours, âbut I think Iâm gonna keep going as well,â though the hope that he had changed his verdict to sync up with your own was a dream youâd never truly let yourself believe.
It was terrible, you knew full well that he was your boss, but what had started as an innocent little crush the moment that you were hired as a secretary at Nelson and Murdock only grew and flourished the longer that you worked there. It didnât help matters either that Matthew was a natural flirt, or at least was with you, always making you stumble over your words and blush like a damn schoolgirl. But even though it was the right thing to do, you just couldnât find it in yourself to go on and actually quit, because if you did, then he wouldnât get the chance to make your heart flutter on a daily basis anymore, bittersweet as it may be.
âWorkaholics the both of you!â Foggy groaned light-heartedly, conjuring an airy chuckle to bubble out of you, âwell,â he puffed as he bent down to grab his bag and stuff his laptop inside, âthen I guess Iâll just see you guys in the morning.â
âYeah, see you tomorrow,â Matt flashed his friend a smile as he crossed the threshold of the door to the conference room.Â
Catching his eye through the windowed wall as he made his way out towards the exit, you waved, ânight!â before he raised his hand to mirror your gesture.Â
After silence had consumed the office once more and your eyes returned to their tedious scanning, a yawn soon forced its way out of your lungs.Â
As your hand flew up to cup your mouth, Mattâs soaring fingers stilled over the braille on the pages before him and his head tilted up in your direction.Â
âYou sure youâre not done for the day?â he quietly asked.Â
âNo,â you uttered before the yawn was through, âI wanna stay.â
âAlright,â he breathed, âhow about some coffee then?â
âUh, yeah, sure, I can go make someââ
âNo, no, stay, I didnât mean for you toââŚÂ Iâll make it.âÂ
âOh,â you blinked back at him, perhaps finding the role reversal a bit more staggering than youâd expected as you were usually the one making everyone else beverages, ây-yeah, that would be great,â before your gaze then shadowed him as he got up and crossed the small width of the humble office to the little kitchenette nook.Â
You should have probably just returned to your reading as he stood there and waited for the water in the electric kettle to boil, but you just couldnât tear your eyes away from him.Â
When he returned with a steaming mug, he held it out for you to grasp, âhere you go,â before he returned to his seat beside your own.Â
âThanks,â your fingers enveloped the warm ceramic before you took a small sip, one that was swiftly cut short as soon as the flavour enveloped your tongue, âwowâŚâÂ
âWhat? Is it bad?âÂ
âNo, no, quite the opposite actually,â you glanced down at the coffee in amazement before your gaze flickered up to him, âitâs perfect,â you uttered, unsure if you were more shocked or just plain weak in the knees at the fact that Matt somehow knew how you took your coffee.
The evening however didnât drag on for too much longer following the very last sip of your caffeinated beverage. You tried to return to your work, you truly did, but no matter how hard you tried to get back into the flow of things and make a proper dent in the colossal workload, you just couldnât.Â
You were too occupied staring at Matt.Â
Gazing longingly at his burly forearms, exposed and framed by the rolled-up sleeves of his button-down, at his wide hands as they danced over the papers before him, nearly caressing them in the manner you always fantasised he would touch your goosebump-ridden flesh, and even at the slight furrow line that appeared betwixt his dark brows as his brain absorbed the texts he read, the little crease you so badly wished to soothe with a kiss.Â
As your eyes continued to linger and your heart thumped in your chest at the way your mind ran wild, Mattâs right hand then extended in search of one of the items on the cluttered table, though before his fingers located the wanted folder, they first wandered so close to you that they grazed against your forearm resting there on the surface.Â
Though the contact sent butterflies soaring throughout your stomach, the spark also managed to snap you out of your daze and jolt you back to your senses, though the realisation bolted through you so severely that in your haphazard and hazy attempt at both hiding any trace of what youâd let yourself do, as well as dive back into what you should have been doing all along, your clumsy ass twisted away in a manner that almost caused you to fall off your chair.Â
Almost.Â
You would have fallen face first on the cold office floor if a pair of swift hands hadnât seized your waist.Â
âWowâ, Iâve got you.âÂ
As your head tilted up, gratitude ready to drip off your tongue, it ceased and shrivelled as you realised just how close you now were to Matt. Your noses almost touched as his grasp didnât move to unfasten their strong hold on you even though you were now completely out of danger.Â
âYouâve gotââŚâ you echoed hazily, âI-IââŚâ
As his breath fanned across your face, your eyes flickered down to his lips. Youâd never been this close to him before, but now that you were, impulsivity swiftly seized your soul.Â
Pressing your lips against his in a chased kiss, you soon sensed his grip shift as he kissed you back, his fingers gently digging into your sides to claw you even closer.
Though as you felt yourself melt away in the dream youâd always yearned for, a flash of sense sparked within you and caused you to plant your palms on his broad chest and push him back.Â
âOh my goodnessâŚâ your shoulders shot up towards your ears, âI am so, so sorry. I donât know what came over me. Please donât fireââ
But no more fretful words managed to leave your lips as Matt then primally grabbed your face and shut you up with a kiss, a taste of hast tingled on his tongue as he let his own desire take over and rush for more instead of other civilised methods one could opt for in such a situation, he didnât stop to put out the fire, only fanned the wicked flames and kissed you as if it was the last thing heâd ever do.Â
It had caught you completely off guard and was only when he slowed his heated lips to smouldering pecks that you got the chance to catch up.Â
âOh my godâŚâ you whispered slowly between kisses, utterly stunned and reeling in the reality. Your tone at first came out a bit timid as you still couldnât believe what was transpiring, but as soon as his lips began to wander down the side of your neck and your eyes fluttered at the dizzying sensation, you felt yourself melt into the moment and echo, âoh my godâŚâ though now in a completely different manner, one that dripped with the desire that you evidently hadnât been the only one to keep bottled up for so long.Â
As the lawyer soon rose from his seat, he dragged you up with him by the starved hold he had on your face, keeping you close and devouring your lips.Â
Your fingers found his dark tie for support, the fabric of which had already previously been loosened slightly by his own fingers when they long ago drifted up to pop open the very top button of his collar.Â
When his feet then shuffled and your backside bumped into the tableâs edge, Mattâs palms coasted down your frame till they greedily swept over the pencil skirt you wore and cupped your ass, only letting himself cop a feel for a second before a small yelp bubbled out of you as he then lifted you up to sit on the conference table.Â
As your fingers then untangled themselves from the silk hanging around his neck and swept up to the sides of his face, your eager touch bumped into his tinted glasses, which you swiftly removed and cascaded to the messy tabletop beside you where you sat.Â
âOhâŚÂ MattâŚâ a small whimper rolled off your tongue as he then ducked down to plant sloppy pecks all along your neck, âplease donât stopâŚâÂ
His low voice then vibrated against your rapid pulse, âyeah?âÂ
âUh-huh,â your head tilted slightly in a nod as your fingers stretched to weave in with his dark hair, âIâ⌠IââŚâ you tried to fight through the foggy feeling he distilled in you, though ended up only offering him a short and desperate, âplease.â
When you glanced down at him, fully expecting the lawyerâs lips to return to your own, you instead watched as they dipped down even lower, straying from your throat and wandering down to the sliver of skin on display in the neckline of your silky blouse. Your breathing was heavy as you watched your chest rise and fall beneath his hot pecks. Mouth agape, you stared intently as his kisses wandered even further south, his nose nuzzling against the soft material of your shirt as he dropped down to his knees.Â
Planting your palms on the surface of the table for support as you watched Matt crack open your pantyhose-clad legs, his lips then dipped down to one of them as he plucked it up to rest it upon his broad shoulder, all the while a series of kisses smothered the sheer nylon clinging to your skin.Â
Soon he had your skirt pushed up and bunched around your hips, fervently opening you up and peeling back your layers till he reached what he most desired. However when his touch finally did sweep up to graze against your covered centre, it didnât continue on the journey up towards your waistband as you had assumed, but instead, his fingers pinched the sheer core of your stockings and tugged till a ripping sound rung out through the dark office.Â
âFuckâŚâ he groaned as he finished tearing the hole, nearly making it huge enough for the nylon to just give up completely and split right down the middle, thatâs how little he let remain intact before he moved on and reached for the underwear now accessible to him.Â
His thumb stayed hooked in the soaked gusset of your underwear as he rushed to dive in for a taste of your divine. One of your hands shot down to gently grasp his hair as his tongue lavishly licked you up, making your whole body quiver from the way he made out with your cunt.Â
Scooping a palm up to cup your tit through your clothing, Matt groaned, âshitâŚâ his fervent rumble vibrating against your puffy pearl before he sucked down on it, âyou taste so goodâŚâ
As you swiftly felt his kisses push you over the edge, your hips began to rock back against his efforts, grinding your pussy against the lower part of his face as he lapped you up, his fingers too raising to dent your thigh, both to keep your leg draped over his shoulder, but also to keep you steady through all of your squirming as you rode out your high.Â
âOh myâ, fuck!â you gasped, catching your breath. Blinking down at him, you watched as he slowly rose back up, planting a few pecks in a sporadic pattern up your form till his lips again found your own. The taste of yourself was heavy on his tongue as you drifted a hand up to wipe your slickness from his stubbly chin.Â
âMiss Y/l/n,â he smirked as you tilted away from his kisses to clean him better, addressing you with the same formality he only occasionally still withheld for you during your working hours together, âwhatever would I do without you?â
Still in your haze, you thought too hard about the flirty comment and instead turned it into some kind of unnecessary riddle, âwell, first of all, you properly wouldnât have the evidence of what you just did all over your face, and second, then I also wouldnât even clean it up because it wouldnât be there, because I wouldnât be here, andâ,â but then, he simply cut off your words, frankly, as well as your brain, and pressed his lips to yours.Â
âI fucking love how your mind works,â he grinned, a hand floating up to offer a feathery stroke through your hair.Â
âOh, Iâ,â a shiver ran down your spine as you blinked back at him, âthank you.âÂ
A gentle chuckle then rumbled in Mattâs chest as his fingers reached up to tug at his tie, âsweetheart, if youâre gonna thank me like that every time I pay you a compliment or talk dirty to you,â he yanked the loosened accessory over his head, âthen I donât know Iâll ever be able to stop,â and tossed the silky material to one of the dark corners of the dim room.
Tangling your arms around his neck, an amazed giggle bubbled out of you as you then settled on simply repeating, âthank you,â softly egging him on as your nose nudged against his own.Â
Groaning lowly, âyou little minxâŚâ a smile tugged at his lips as he then leaned in to claim your lips once more.
As he kissed you once again, your legs snaked around his form, dragging up against his sides like a cicada in his arms.
And when he soon shifted a bit before you and extended an arm to something on the table, you breathlessly asked as your fingers floated down to undo his belt, âdo you have aâ,â but then you twisted your neck to see what he conjured from his bag, âoh,â you glanced down at the small foil packet in his hand, âyou do,â you let out a relieved exhale, âgood, because I didnât, so here I was scrambling my mind for what other options we had.â
âOh yeah?â he smirked, the sudden presence of his hands working at freeing himself caused your own to retreat, âand what did you come up with?â
âOh, wellâŚâ you swallowed, conjuring enough courage to utter, âwe could just touch each otherâŚâ
âYeah?âÂ
âYeah,â you hazily nodded, âor I could repay you the favour.â
âYeah?â his hard length sprang free, âyouâd suck my cock?â
Scarcely breathing at all, you stared as he swiftly rolled on the condom, âmore than you knowâŚâÂ
âBut none of thatâs what you really want right now, is it?âÂ
As his hand snaked around your hip to scoop you that much closer to the edge, you foggily shook your head, ânoâŚâ
âTell me what it is then,â he uttered as he rubbed the bulbous head of his dick through your folds, making you squirm from the dizzying sensation, âtell me what you want.â
Though the mission of getting words out and offering him an answer seemed more difficult than you anticipated as his tip nudged against your swollen clit and made it near impossible for you to think, âIââŚÂ you. I want you,â your arms draped around his neck he inched back in for a kiss, âI-Iâ, Matt, please just put it inââ
Answering your prayer, he then slid his cock inside, slowly filling your dripping pussy up till his pelves pressed against your puffy pearl and the tip of him kissed a spot so deep inside of you that you felt as if you could scarcely breathe at all.Â
âThere you go,â his groan rumbled in your ear, âthat what you wanted, huh?â though when you tried to respond, only whimpers flowed from your lips, âthen be a good girl and thank me again,â he dared to request as he gently began to move, âtell me thank you for giving you exactly what you want,â and you moaned, eyes rolling at the way he dragged his girth out of you, so overwhelmingly slow that your cunt clenched around him so tightly that he had to carve anew when he finally thrust forward and filled you up once more, âcome on, you can do it. Your pussyâs already doing it in her own incredible way.â
As his lips lowered to flutter against the side of your neck, you faintly murmured, ât-thank youââÂ
Though the cocky lawyer only bucked into you harder, making you tremble in his grasp as he smirked against your goosebump-ridden skin, âwhat was that?â
âThank you, M-Matt!â you successfully squeaked.
âAtta girl,â his hand slid up the column of your neck as your head began to lull, âthat wasnât so hard, was it?âÂ
âUh-uh,â you hazily shook your head as you clung to his broad shoulders.Â
Lightly enveloping his fingers around your neck, just to keep you close, his other digits then reached down between your bodies to find your clit in a harsh rub as he dared to say, âthen say it againâŚâ
The words of gratitude then became like a mantra on your lips, incoherently flowing through your moans as he rocked into you so hard that the conference table rattled beneath you, fucking you till you both tumbled over the edge, though the simple phrase still kept rolling off your tongue even when he offered to walked you home afterwards and too when he pressed a soft peck to your forehead, whispering you goodnight before you disappeared inside your building.Â
The cups of coffee you had nervously bought the very next morning were quite the task to balance in your hands. It would have been strange if you didnât buy one for all of your coworkers, even though the brew truthfully had ulterior motives.Â
It wasnât just the regular kind and thoughtful round of coffee to start the day, but in truth was a thanks for the bang last night, oh, and by the way I am head over heels in love with you, I know I was too scared to tell you last night, but Iâm terrified of fucking this up kind of coffee.Â
It was a lot of pressure to put on a simple cup of coffee, you recognised that, but what else were you to do?Â
Though when you managed to push open to door to the office without dropping or spilling any of the balanced paper mugs, Foggy was the first one to spot you.
âOh, you bought coffee?â he grabbed one out of your arms, âthanks!â before he called over his shoulder, his voice flooding into the room to the left, âhey Matt! Y/n got a round of coffee!âÂ
It hadnât been the suave delivery youâd hoped for, having Foggy force the mood in a purely platonic and professional direction as Matt appeared and casually seized the cup his friend caught from you and extended to him, instead of the fantasy that had tickled your mind all morning of effortlessly slipping into his office and sliding it across his desk with some clever line you hadnât been able to come up with yet. Â
Though Matthew still smiled and said as he raised the cup up to his lips, âthank you, Y/n,â and the mirroring echo of the words heâd made you repeat last night so many times that it lost all its meaning, caused your cheeks to heat up.Â
âUhh,â you blinked back at him, trying to shake the memory off of you, ây-youâre welcomeâŚâ
However, before you could part your lips, ask your boss for a private moment and finally make your move, Foggy opened his mouth once more and spoke.Â
âHey, remember how I put out feelers to Karen?â he began to saunter into the conference room.
As Matt began to follow his voice, you too shadowed them, all the while trying your best to keep the butterflies on your belly at bay as you returned to the scene of the crime, most of the papers on the table still in a mess from how little the pair of you had bothered to clean up afterwards.Â
âYeah,â Matt tilted his head, âshe got anything?â
âYup,â Foggy took a sip of coffee, âcalled me this morning and said sheâd pop by later with the stuff sheâ, hey,â his sentence then took a sharp turn as his gaze found something on the floor that puzzled him enough for his brows to crinkle up. Bending down, he picked up a silky string of fabric and wrapped it around his fingers, âMatt, did you forget your tie here?â
âUh, what?â the man beside you stiffened up slightly.Â
âYour tie, this looks like the one you wore yesterday.â
âOh, uhm, yeah,â he coughed, fidgeting lightly with the to-go cup in his grasp, âit just bothered me last night, so took it off, must have forgotten to put it in my bag.â
As Foggyâs eyes scanned Mattâs reaction and too let his gaze wash over your flustered form and spot how the truth virtually poured out of your pores from the way your eyes grew, he simply hummed, ââŚuh-huhâŚâ not believing his pal for a second.Â
Sucking in a breath, Matt tried to extend his hand and asked, âcan I have it back?â though his forced casual tone was utterly unconvincing.Â
âOh my godâŚâ Foggy sighed before tossing the tie in his friendâs face, âyou have a problem, man.âÂ
To your surprise, the man beside you caught it, though you were still just one step too far behind him to catch the way a smug smirk tugged at his lips, âwhat?â as he couldnât for the life of him hide the pride of the discovery is friend had surely made countless of times throughout their friendship.Â
âI leave you two alone for one night, one night!â
ââŚand to Matt for giving the closing argument of a lifetime and winning us this case!â Foggy raised his drink to the centre of where he, his colleagues and Karen sat around one of the small tables at Josieâs.Â
âOh, come on,â the dark-haired man beside you humbly tilted his head, âyou were on fire as wellââ
âMatt,â his friend cut him off by briefly planting his palm on his shoulder, âjust shut up and take the compliment,â before he tilted his beer bottle back up and roared, âcheers!âÂ
âCheers!â Karen, to the left of you, sang before the rest of you echoed, clinking all of your glasses together.Â
âThank you,â Matt gave in and smiled as everyone took a sip, âI couldnât have done it without you all,â before he leaned down to whisper in your ear, âespecially youâŚâ
The sound of his low voice directly in your ear was enough to turn your knees into jelly, but as your eyes fluttered up to gaze at him, the personal space he had now eliminated betwixt you two caused you to positively melt.Â
As you breathed out an audible smile, his lips stayed close as his breath once again tickled the shell of your ear, âso now that the trialâs done, I was wondering,â he uttered slowly, making you cling onto each and every syllable that flowed from his lips, âwould you let me take you out on a real date?â
a/n: i am not proud of this in the way that i will not be claiming it when i am judged by god.
warnings: SMUT like real sex!!! dom!matt, p in v smut, matt has a thing for talking in bed, MATT BEING A TEASE!!! many nicknames, pining, praise with slight degradation, fluff here and there, tipsy reader and matt, i'm sure i'm missing one or two
word count: 3.3k
summary: ten months of yearning wears you and matt down to desperation.
pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader
now playing: dress - taylor swift
"say my name and everything just stops/i dont want you like a best friend/only bought this dress so you could take it off."
Foggy is so mad at him.
Youâre a good employee, a great employee even! Youâre dedicated to your job, and you bake in your free time, so you bring in all sorts of treatsâHomemade bagels, donuts, cookiesâHis favorite are your cinnamon chai sugar cookies you make.
Youâre intelligent, well-spoken, and good at explaining the issues that you run into. And youâre funny, Foggy would argue, you have incredible timing and wit. You always buy a round at Josies. You are an amazing employee and friend, and Foggy adores you.
So why, pray tell, must Matt feel the need to have you?
He wonât say it out loud, not to Karen, not to Maggie, not to Foggy, and certainly not you. But heâs entranced by you. He loves the sound of your voice as you explain things, he loves that your heart always skips a beat whenever youâre about to deliver a one liner that will crack everyone else up, he loves that when you bake, you always make things all naturally out of desire to make the best dessert you possibly can. But most of all?
He loves that your heart rate picks up whenever he enters the room.
You, on the other hand, are pretty much fascinated by Matt Murdock. You love the sound of his laughter, you love his hands, you love his charm, you love that you can see a chain around his neck when the day dwindles and he loosens his tie, and Jesus H Christ, you love that baritone.
So, itâs safe to say youâve both been smitten since the first day you met each other.
Yet, you spend ten months cruelly dancing around your attraction for each other.
Heâs hesitant to want you in any context, heâs your boss, heâs fucking Daredevil!
By then you knowâMostly accidentally on purpose. All his usual people are out of town or busy, so when he gets stabbed, he has nowhere else to go. He winds up climbing into your window, scaring the ever-living shit out of you. Itâs not how he wanted to tell you about his alter ego, but he knows he can trust you.
And you hate the site of blood and gore, so you struggle to patch him up that night. And it makes your heart ache, all the ways he hurts from his nighttime hobby. And he decides right then and there that he canât have you, not now. Not knowing how much you wouldâand really, willâworry about him.
So, he buries his want in other people that have no real meaning to him. He even goes on a second date with some of them. One of them even comes to visit him in the office to have lunch.
It makes you jealous to the point where you need to take a walk to dwindle your desire to go back into the office and beg on your hands and knees for her to leave so you can have him. What happens instead is that you go get a pumpkin chai latte and take it back to the office, sitting and keeping to yourself, even when the girl comes out of his office giggling as he stands in the doorway as she leaves.
He smells the pumpkin from his office, and it drives him wild. Just from how quietly you dwell in your jealousy, as you mask it with your favorite fall flavors.
He breaks up with the girl the next day.
â˘Â â˘Â â˘
And a week later, he gets his official invitation to Marci and Foggyâs weddingâA big to do, full of family, friends and coworkers that make it a real party. Matt will be Foggyâs best man. You and Karen arenât in the wedding party, as you were good friends with both the bride and groom, but Karen wanted to make sure at least one of them was focused on the firm, and you hated to be the center of attention. So, you shared your love from a few aisles back.
You had gone shopping with Marci for your dress, Karen too. You enjoyed spending time with themâWhile you had made friends with them easily, prior friends had never really come easy to you.
It was nice to be wanted.
But they had insisted on you trying to find different dresses that made you look amazing. And for the most part, the dresses made you sort of uncomfortable. They revealed too much or revealed too little.
And then you came across this red satin dress. It hugs your curves in all the right way, and it makes you look good. It makes you feel good. You have these perfect black heels to wear with them, and then Karen says it.
âYou know, Matt kind of has a thing about textures. He loves silk and satin.â Your face burns. Of course, he does. Why wouldnât he? He can hear people's heartbeats, tell when theyâre lying, why wouldnât he be keen on nice textures?
âKaren Page, are you insisting I should by this dress to impress a man?â You laugh just to escape your nerves.
âNo! But it canât hurt! Itâs not like heâs bringing a dateââ She turns to Marci. âHeâs not bringing a date, right?â she asks quickly. It makes her laugh.
âNo, Murdock RVSPâed for one.â Â You look at yourself in the mirror again, thinking it over. And over. And over. Then you turn to your friends again, and nod.
âAlright. Alright, Iâll get it.â You grin, âAnd yâknow.. Karenâs right, It canât make the situation any worse.â
âYou know what you need now? Good lingerie for afterââ Your face is red again at your friendâs comment.
âShut up, Marci!â You whine, heading back to the dressing room to get changed.
â˘Â â˘Â â˘
Matt is sitting with Foggy and his brothers, enjoying a glass of scotch before the ceremony when someone knocks on the door.
And somehow, heâs not shocked to hear your nervous heartbeat when the door opens.
âHey Fog, Karen said you had scissorsâCan I borrow âem quick? Thereâs a tag on this dress I forgot to take off and itâs impossible to reachââ
âYes, Absolutely, and you know who would be great at helping you? Matt. An incredible knack for⌠Cutting things.â Itâs a poor attempt to get the two of you alone, yet Foggy hands you the scissors and pushes you and Matt outside the room.
âMy rooms only two doors down.â He explains, taking your hand in his and leading you there.
After finding out about his super senses, it became clear that he was more than capable of finding his way through places heâs stayed, and that heâs privy to a lot more information than people would give him credit for.
So here you are. In Matt Murdockâs hotel room. A tag itching at your back, with you unable to grab it.
âIâm just gonnaââ He awkwardly reaches to the top of your dress, and you just move the hair from your neck and try to ease his anxiety.
âJust go for it, Matt. I donât care, itâs just annoying.â You promise. And he does.
He folds the top of your dress the best he can and its only enough for the scissors to almost grab the tag without him sticking his hand down your dress. He hesitates for a second before exhaling deeply.
Then, he leans down towards your back, and scrunches the material enough so that he can reach the tag and bites the tag off.
You can feel his other hand on your hip. His hot breath on your back. He hears your heart jump as your breath becomes shaky. He wonders how bad it would be for him to skip the wedding and take you right here, in this room.
He plucks the tag from his teeth and smooths out your dress, as you let go of your hair. He feels this raw need for you.
And you feel it too. Yet he pulls away, taking a step back from you.
âWe should get to the ceremony.â he said, trying to catch his breath. He yearns for you, in a way that anyone else would laugh at. Itâs the type of yearning you read about in Jane Austen novels. That is the level that Matt longs to touch you. Itâs desperation.
âYeah...â You say softly, trying to recover from what just happened. You drop him back off at Foggyâs suite and head back to the hall, hoping to find Karen and put the moment behind you. And thatâs just what happens. You watch the ceremony, and itâs gorgeous. Youâre thrilled for Marci and Foggy, and it elates you that they put together such a beautiful ceremony.
And yet, you canât take your eyes off Matt and how good he looks. He stands tall, and he really does look good. It makes it kind of hard to focus. It makes it really hard to focus. And you think about this all the way through their first dance song, through dinner, through cake and through all the cheesy wedding traditions Foggy insisted on.
You have a few drinks but eventually it all becomes too much, and you take a minute outside of the hall and into the cold air. And youâre thinking about Matt.
âYouâre gonna catch a cold out here.â
Speak of the devil.
You turn back to him and smile.
âIâve been thinking about you.â You say, and he hums. Itâs the alcohol in both of your systems, itâs why neither of you run when you say it.
âSame goes for you, sweetheart.â He takes off his coat and wraps it around your shoulders. You note the silky texture of the inside of the jacket. It pushes you further.
âWhy do we insist on playing this game? Why do we watch each other go after people who we donât want when all we want is each other?â
He takes a moment to answer. Because in truth, heâs sure he could tell you why, he could discuss all of the horrible things that have happened to him, and you could share the same sort of stories about your own life. You could sit there and dissect past traumas for hours.
But thatâs not really what youâre asking.
âI donât know...â He says softly. His hands find themselves on your hips, and he rubs small circles into the fabric. âSatin?â You hum, melting at his touch. âWords, pretty girl. You know I like hearing your voice.â
âSatin.â You confirm, your breath catching.
âThere she is...â He hums, and leans in. You feel his breath against your lip, and you take it upon yourself to close the gap between the two of you.
Itâs soft, full of this hesitation because despite all the flirting, youâre still unsure of yourself. He quickly eases these fears as his hands move and you find his arms wrapped around your torso. He deepens the kiss, and you both lean into it. It becomes more desperate after that.
Your hands find their way to his hair, and you fiddle with the ends, unwilling to break the kiss, even if it means air. He breaks the kiss for a second, only to come back to your lips with more passion, biting your bottom lip, before slipping his tongue into your mouth, taking the more aggressive approach.
And you canât take it anymore. You need him. You pull away from him, pant softly before kissing his jaw gently.
âTake me to your room.â You request. He obliges.
You find yourself taking off your heels as soon as you get in, your feet aching as you walk further into the room. The context is much different than it was this afternoonâAnd it makes you nervous.
Matt comes up from behind you and places his hands on your arms, rubbing them gently, before kissing your shoulder.
âYou donât have to be nervous. Iâll be gentle with you...â He says softly. You hum before he continues, âOr do you... want me to be rough with you?â he asks teasingly, landing a quick bite onto your shoulder. You make a noise of surprise and turn to him.
âYouâre a tease, has anyone ever told you that?â
âOnce or twice.â He begins to loosen his tie, eventually forcing it off and then starting to unbutton his shirt. You begin to help him with this task, eventually getting it all the way unbuttoned. Then you gently push him back against the bed and he laughs, falling onto it.
He thinks itâs cute. Until you sit above him, your dress hiking a bit. You lean down to kiss him as his hands find their way to the back of your thighs, and begin to move up and down, just being the tease, he is.
You whine into the kiss, and it just makes him chuckle further, before flipping the pair of you over, then planting a kiss on your neck.
âWhatâs the matter, sweetheart? Needy from just a few kisses?â He slips off his shirt as he continues to kiss you. One hand remains on your thigh, travelling up your thigh, eventually finding your panties.
âMhm...â You hum, your hands wrapping around his neck again to play with his hair.
âTalk to me, sweet girl...â he says softly before he continues his assault on your neck.
âMattâŚâ You hum. âYou know, I onlyââ Then his fingers find your clit and begin rubbing gentle circles, just teasing you with his fingers. It turns him from tease to cruel. You let out a moan, and he only tuts in disappointment.
âKeep talking or you wonât get anything from me.â He tells you, before continuing to tease you. His fingers begin to work on your folds. You try your best to focus. He takes off your panties and throws them on the ground somewhere.
âOnly bought this dress for you... Thought you might like it...â You gasp again as he slips a finger into you, âFuckâThought it would make you do something about it.â In fairness, it got the reaction you had only hoped for in your wildest dreams. It makes him chuckle against your skin.
âOnly got this pretty little dress for me to touch you like this?â He adds another finger and starts to move. When you donât answer, too busy getting lost in his fingers, he bites your shoulder again. âAnswer me, sweetheart.â
âYes! God, yesâŚâ You respond. He hums in approval, continuing to curl his fingers inside of you. It only takes a few minutes before you can feel yourself near the edge of an orgasm. âMatt⌠Baby, please...â
âCâmon, sweet girl... Iâve got you, let go...â And itâs enough to make you, cumming all over his fingers. He lets you ride out your high, out of breath. He kisses your neck again before bringing his fingers up to his lips, tasting your juices. âSweet girl, still.â He smirks. Your heart skips a beat. He chuckles. Then he continues, âDid so good for me, sweetheart... Wanna keep going?â He asks.
âYes, please... Wanna feel you inside me...â you confess.
âYou want me to fill you up and stretch you out, pretty girl?â You should know better by now, but you just hum in response, gaining another bite to your shoulder. âTry again.â
âYes... I want you so badly, Matt, please... Iâve been dreaming about it for months now,â You confess, âNeed you...â Â He seems satisfied by this, and moves back, helping you sit up.
âWell then, weâll need to get this pretty dress off you.â He says, his fingers working to take off his belt. Your fingers run over his chest. Itâs all he can do not to rip the dress off, but he knows how much it means to you and how much it couldâve cost. So, instead, he slips the dress off you and feels you shiver against him. Still so nervous. He tosses the dress in the general direction of his suitcase, so it doesnât sit on the floor. He leans in and starts pressing kisses to your chest, his hands reaching up to your bra and unclasping it. He throws it with much less care than the dress.
He keeps kissing down your torso as he lays you back on the bed, your hands going again to his hair.
âHow come itâs fair that Iâm fully naked, and you still have pants on?â You ask. It makes him laugh, and he stands straight again.
âFair enough,â he says, taking them off. And then goes his boxers. Before you can stare at him, heâs on top of you again, kissing you deeply. You can feel his cock resting against your fold and it makes you moan into the kiss. He pulls away for just a second before asking, âIs this, okay? Youâll stop me if itâs too much?â
âYeah, Iâll tell you.â You respond. He smiles at your words.
âPerfect. Perfect, pretty girl...â He hums as he begins to kiss your shoulders and the top of your chest, before slipping inside of you. You let out a moan, and he groans as well, taking a few minutes to take all of you in. It feels amazing. He begins to move inside of you as he brings you in for another kiss. When he pulls away, heâs talking, âBeen thinking about this for... Fuck, so long...â He groans. âBeen dreaming of this perfect pussy and how good it would feel around meâŚâ He says, and it elicits a shaky moan from you.
âFaster, please...â You request, and he obliges, picking up the pace. Youâve been thinking about this for a long time too. You never imagined heâd be so controlling about the whole thing. It works you up almost as much as how vocal he is.
He leaves bites and marks down your chest as he pulls you closer to him, knowing he wonât last much longer. He feels you tighten around him and makes another demand, âTell me how badly you want to cum, and Iâll let you.â He says this before planting a rather contrasting soft kiss to your ear.
âPlease... Please, Matt, Fuck... I need to cum all over your cock... Wanna feel so good, baby...â You moan, your fingers pulling on his hair. It excites you when he moans. âAnd I want you to cum inside me... Fill me up, Baby, please...â You beg. Heâs happy with it for now, but he knows heâll want to hear more another time.
âCâmon, sweet girl. Cum for meâŚâ He pants, and itâs all you need before you let yourself come undone around his cock. He continues thrusting for a few minutes, letting you ride out your high, before cumming himself, and you moan at the feeling. He lays against you for a few minutes, trying to recover, and itâs then that you notice heâs shaking.
âAre you okay?â You ask softly, brushing his hair out of his face. He looks at you with those gorgeous brown eyes. He laughs at your question.
âIâm great... Youâre just... amazing...â he says honestly, kissing your shoulder one more time. âPerfect, pretty girl...â He praises. âMy perfect girl...â It makes you shudder. He stays like this for a moment more before kissing you softly. Then, he sits up and goes to get a towel to clean the both of you up. And then, heâs back in bed with you. He pulls you close as you both recover from what just happened.
âI wasnât lying,â You start, âIâve been thinking about you for months. Youâre all Iâve wanted for so long...â You confess. He kisses your head and pulls you closer.
âMe too... I was too much of an idiot to tell you though. Almost let you get away.â
âYou got me.â You affirm. He hums and begins to rub all too familiar circles into your hips with his thumbs.
Iâll never forget your unique smile from when we were in Chile with your family, yeah, it saved my life. Our favorite summer. It was just you and me, me and you. Us. We had an inexplicable connection. It was love. And it still is, real love. Vivid and pulsating, like a wound. Little did we know that this wound, when touched, would hurt like hell.
Your family accepted me, despite the age gap. Everyone loved me, they still loving, and I know they always ask you about me. I still get messages from Lux asking me how Iâm feeling, and it hurts. It hurts to say that I cry every night because I miss you, Pedro. For Godâs sake, how I want to go back to that cruel summer in Chile, where everything fell apart. When I remember, anxiety crises attack me and I only think about dying so I donât have to deal with the pain of having you away from me.
In the silence of the night we had mind-blowing dreams, planned trips, escapes and even our marriage. You'rehiding in that favorite place of yours in your hometown. No love dared to compete with ours. We felt alive, life was so much lighter when we were in love.
âI love you, mi alma.â â you whispered to me and lay my body on yours, in the damp grass after a summer rain. You put your hands on my belly and stroked her. Little did we know that there, in my womb, there was a life beginning.
âY yo amo mas, mi vida.â â I answered in Spanish, feeling my heart race and almost explode with so much love.
Iâll take the blame to the grave with me, Iâm sorry. Itâs all my fault. Â I hate myself for being like this.
We had no rules, it was an unwavering paradise. The shape of your body was always new to me. We loved to explore our bodies day and night, non-stop. We never got tired. I still feel the warmth of your body glued to mine, even the drops of your sweat dripping into my naked body. You sculpted me in unimaginable ways, and I was your favorite masterpiece.
You asked me to marry you and I accepted, with the greatest pleasure in the world. We didnât care what the news was about our age gap. Until I felt strange, my body was different. It was dawn when I decided to go to the 24 hours pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. Oh, Pedro⌠We wanted this so badly, but I wanted to wait longer. I wanted to finish my college, marry you, buy that apartment in New York we were dreaming of. I wanted to live everything by your side first.
I came home. The result got positive. You have no idea how much it hurted me, because I wanted it, but I wasnât ready. Damn, Iâm so immature. I went into despair, my head was spinning and I was aimless. I just wanted to go back to our bed and lay down in your arms, crying until the world ends. So I made the worst decision of my life, which would be the beginning of the end. Thereâs not a night I donât dream of that life that was taken from me.
The other day, I remember arriving at your familyâs house after the interruption. Everyone had left, but you were waiting for me there, with the test result in your hands. And at that moment I died inside. You cried of happiness because you would finally fulfill your dream of being a father. It was the best summer of your life. And I was crying in pain for taking that life from inside me. But I was weak and I didnât told you.
And then that damn night came. When the angels rolled their eyes and the demons threw the dice. In that bar, it was Fridaynight, your Chilean friends wanted to meet me, and you were excited to tell then that we were getting married and that soon we would have achild.
It was the first time I dare mix my antidepressants with strong drinks.
âHow could you do that?â â you questioned as you cried. Your friends looked at me incredulously at what I told. I was drunk, but thatâs no reason. I was weak, and thatâs all I could tell you.
We argued at that table, bottles broke and tears fell. All attention has turned to us.
I drunk in the back seat of the car, leaving with you. Your phone kept ringing, it was your friends calling. And coming from the bar, I cried like a baby. You, disappointed that u didnât participate in my decision, said it was okay. But it wasnât true.
I donât want to keep secrets just to keep you.
I knew that deep down in your soul, you were trying to understand my side. But it was impossible, I know. I ended up with one of your dreams, my love.
âI love you.â â I spoke as i cried loudly, waking up your whole family.
Isnât that the worst thing youâve ever heard?
We slept in separate rooms. Your sister Javiera spent the night with me. You know, I thought after that your family would hate me, but they took me in even more. Unlike our relationship, which languished until the last moment.
You left me in Chile and returned to New York. I, without other option, returned too soon after. When I got to my apartment, you didnât even disguise that you left. Our photos torn and scattered across the light brown carpet. So many undone memories.
In my room, no clothes from you. Just a suitcase, where you returned all my clothes that were in your apartment. Thereâs only your smell left on my pillowcase.
Itâs been months, and everyday I sat looking at the front door, waiting for you to come in and forgive me. I turn on the TV and just want to watch your movies and series scenes.
I wish I could go back to that cruel summer in Chile and do everything differently.
And then⌠you finally knocked on the door and asked to come in and talk.
They canât understand how it all this started, a real roller coaster of emotions. They donât know about our secret moments in a crowded room. They donât know you left your mark on me. They have no idea about you and me.
I remember when we met on that series set. You wore the Mandalorian costume and your best smile stamped on your face with age marks already, the helmet in one hand and the script in the other. And I wore that pleated skirt and red lipstick that turned your world upside down. Just one of Jon Favreauâs assistants. There isnât a day that I donât thank all the Gods for being lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. For being cast by Jon to work that week.
You looked me up and down as I sipped my Starbucks coffee, and you gently ran your finger across the corner of my mouth, where my lipstick was slightly smudged. And it was there that a tension between us was created. You stared into my eyes and managed to read my entire soul in just seconds. I felt goosebumps all over my body from just a touch of your finger and a deep look. I was in the palm of your hand within seconds.
That week we built a friendship of souls, it was real. So Jon started calling me more often to work. We got to know each other more and more. We could hardly imagine the direction things would take.
You hung up on recordings just to spend more time talking to me. Soon you became my best friend and I still didnât understand why my heart danced just to the sound of your voice. In fact, I preferred not to understand what was already obvious. Pedro, I fell in love with your soul. I fell in love with the best person in this world. Despite everything, I preferred not to show anything, fearing your reaction. All this silence and patience, generated apprehension and anticipation. My hands are shaking from resisting you. I Carve your name into my bedpost and in my notebooks because I donât want you as a best friend. I remember that day when we accidentally ended up kissing, not even knowing who took the initiative first. We decided to forget. I swear I tried but I failed.
Even in my worst moments, you could see the best of me. Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me.
Jon invited me to the premiere of the show, then you did the same, so I could be your date. Best friend accompanying her friend, thatâs what she appeared to be.
On the day of the premiere, I made sure to look beautiful not only for whoever was there, but for you, mainly. I took a relaxing bath in the hotel bathtub and dressed in my black lingerie, even a garter belt. I used creams and perfumes. I put on my red dress, with a huge slit from hip to toe. Only bought this dress so you could take it off. Thatâs what went through my mind all the time while I was wearing that outfit.
When the makeup and hair were done, I went to the event. You said my name and everything just stopped. When I turned around, there you were staring me up and down. My red lipstick got you, I know, and I knew it in that moment.
âThat slit in the leg is sexy.â whispered in my ear as you kissed me on the corner of my lips.
In that moment, I understood your intentions for the night. And I wonât deny it, they were mine too. We were in sync, as usual. Inescapable, I wonât even try. And if I get burned, at least we were electrified.
We drank so much that everything was starting to spin. We made the devil feel shy when we were alone in that premiere party space. We were just devouring each other with the looks, but you were the first one to give in. For Godâs sake, Iâll never forget when you placed your hand on my waist and slowly slid your hands to my thigh, leaving goosebumps on me. I threw my arms around your neck and lightly scratched your bare skin.
âIâve wanted to do this for so long.â you whispered softly into my ear and spread kisses down the side of my face until you finally reached my lips, rested your thumb there and went back to whispering - âThat red lipstick of yours⌠I can only think of it all over my body.â
And that was the trigger for me to kiss you right away, with ferocity and desire. Iâve been looking forward to this since I met you, Pedro. You canât imagine.
I keep memories of that night in my soul. You went with me to my room, we made sure to get laid wherever possible.
âOnly just bought this dress so you could take it off.â - I revealed without caring for the consequences. In that moment, you devoured me. Ripped off my dress and laid me on the bed. In that room, we fucked until we ran out of air. You got addicted to my body, we were never satisfied with each other. Endless hunger.
I remember we taking a bath together. Iâm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and weâre both drunk again. After that day, it was hard to hide the flame we had when we were together, in the same place. Everyone thinks they know us, but they donât know anything about it.
Now I wake up by your side. My one and only, my lifeline.
