Hi, I just wanted to nominate my Mum, @bythepowerofmumsy for standing by me through my horrific battle with mental health over the last 10 years. I came out of school to become home educated when I was 10, because I was so terrified that something would happen to my mum that nobody could get me to go in. That fear was all I knew. As time went on, we grew to learn that I was suffering from acute anxiety. We confronted it, forced ourselves into the situations that terrified us (I don't know how many times I paced up and down at home, hearing every siren as a sign that my mum had been killed in a car crash or worse) and, over a long period of time, my separation anxiety began to fade. The only problem was, my anxiety found new guises to wear, new grotesque demons that stalked me every day and night. We did what we could, read books and looked for help, but none was forthcoming. I thought I could fend them off myself, but I couldn't. Sometimes I could see through them to the light on the other side, but they always seemed to dig their nails so deep into me that I was dragged kicking and screaming back into the pit. Our medical service often doesn't seem to quite grasp that mental health problems should be treated with the same severity as any other long term illness so we were often left to find our own information. At one stage my anxiety/depression/intrusive thoughts got so bad that the only thing I could find to compare myself to was women suffering from postnatal depression. Things finally became impossible at the beginning of this year, when I could no longer see the light at all. My mind became so overworked that I could no longer live anymore. I couldn't eat, I couldn't work out reality, I couldn't even be safe in my own head. When I gave up, accepting that it was my time to go, my mum fought for me. She somehow managed to get psychiatrists, psychologists and doctors to see me, despite every obstacle the health services flung her way. At times, I fought her, fought everything she offered me, interrogated her, threatened her and hated her. But she didn't leave me. I am now truly learning to live with my demons. There will be a long road to walk until I'm in the light, but at least I don't have to walk it alone. Love you, Mum xxx
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