often times when i'm writing i have a perfect visual in my head of what the scene should look like- the blocking, the expressions and movements of the characters, the way the "camera" moves, but when i write it down it feels awkward and i can't figure out how to fit the descriptions and exposition around the dialogue. do you have any tips on this?
Rendering Dialogue Scene as You Envision It
Working Action Beats, Character Movement, “Camera” Moves, and Exposition into Scenes with Dialogue
When it comes to the dialogue in a scene, the blocking/character movements, body language/facial expressions, and “camera moves” will largely be covered by the action tags you place with your dialogue, as well as with the exposition you incorporate.
Okay, gonna yoink a scene out of my book, Ashes Swept, as an example. This part of the scene begins with a little exposition:
My stepfamily is already gathered around the table when I join them. I try to ignore the intense feeling of being unwanted as I take my seat. Gracia and Antonine do not bother to look up from their plates.
Describing what the scene looks like (everyone gathered around the table) is doing the work of the “camera” right here. It’s “framing up the shot,” if you will.
Now, a little dialogue with a tag:
Auguste shifts uncomfortably in his seat and says, “You look nice, Synda May.”
The first bit is called a dialogue tag. It tells us who is speaking using words like said, replied, asked, etc. This dialogue tag is preceded by a little bit of action to tell us something about the character or situation.
More exposition follows:
I know it is his passive attempt to counter his mother and sister. I give him a half-hearted smile in thanks, fidgeting with the napkin ring until the steward delivers my plate.
In the tractlands, I can distract myself at mealtime by concentrating on what I am eating, but it is harder to do in the city. Here the food is engineered in a lab and grown in hydroponic nurseries. Everything is clean, tasty, and nutrient efficient, but I miss eating food that was harvested from the land. It is a petty concern on the day of my father’s funeral, but it makes me long for the tractlands all the more.
Now, more dialogue:
"The funeral begins at eleven,” Auguste says, breaking the silence. “I will have the car brought around in ten minutes.” He stands and drops his napkin to the table. “Please do not be late.”
In a dialogue scene, the dialogue tag serves the purpose of swinging the “camera” around to whomever is speaking. Previously, the “camera” was seemingly focused on Synda May while she ate and thought about the tractlands. As soon as we see “Auguste says,” we know the “camera” is on him. The “action tag” (aka “action beat”) is used to describe any important action going on, in this case, Auguste’s movement.
As soon as he is out of earshot, Gracia turns to Antonine. “I want you to wear your black chiffon dress to the palace tomorrow night.”
“The one with the puffed sleeves and little pink flowers at the waist?”
“Yes, with your black t-straps and silver heart locket.”
“But, Mother! Puffed sleeves are for children,” Antonine gasps, casting a pointed look in my direction.
“Not always,” Gracia counters with a gentle shake of her head. “You will look like a virtuous young woman--a fine catch for any magisterial heir.”
Once again tags are used to show us movement, body language, facial expressions, and other important details.
I push my chair back with a screech and run out of the room, unable to hear any more of this trite discussion. My father has not yet been committed to the sky, and these two are already strategizing Antonine’s love life.
Angry tears streak down my cheeks as I go out to the front steps and wait for the limousine. Today of all days, my mind should be empty of all but my father. Instead, all I can do is wonder how I’m going to survive in this house without him.
The dialogue scene is finished off with a bit of exposition, which serves two purposes: not only does it examine how she’s feeling about what just happened, it physically carries her away from that situation to a new one.
I hope that this visual breakdown of an actual dialogue scene has helped you see how you can work in action details like character movement, expressions, and body language, along with establishing what the “camera” is seeing and weaving in important exposition. :)
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