Formula 1 is a world of speed, power, and relentless ambition—where the noise of the engines drowns out everything else, and the only thing that matters is crossing the finish line first. But behind the glitz and glamour of the paddock, it’s a battleground. A place where drivers push their bodies and minds to the limit, where teams are defined by their victories and their failures, and where loyalty is tested with every turn of the wheel.
In this world, the most thrilling moments aren’t always the ones that happen on the track. It’s when teammates become rivals. When secrets are kept, loyalties are tested, and nothing is ever quite what it seems. When the line between friendship, rivalry, and love blurs as fast as the cars on the circuit.
It's about reaching beyond the speed. Beyond the victories. Beyond the grid.
you can find the taglist here!
66: Lee Haechan
pairing: red bull driver!haechan x PRmanager!femreader
description: Haechan, bold, aggressive and unrelenting, is back after a narrowly missed opportunity to become the world champion in 2024. This time, he's set his sight on making it all the way to the top. You, as his newly appointed PR representative, are assigned with the task of keeping up with a world of high stakes, unpredictable twists and well, him.
w/c: 33.6k
Part 1 Part 2 [COMPLETE]
1: Choi Seungcheol
pairing: ferrari driver!scoups x ex!femreader
genre: angst, romance, exes to lovers au, childhood bestfriends / neighbours au
description: Four-time world champion Choi Seungcheol has spent years at the top with Ferrari, but as the 2025 season drags on, he can’t shake the feeling that he’s not quite where he used to be. The competition is catching up, his team isn't what it used to be, and for the first time, he’s starting to wonder if he’s past his prime. By the time the season winds down, he finds himself back in his hometown, which isn't quite the same either. But the hardest race was never on track, and sooner or later, he’ll have to figure out what comes next.
w/c: 46.5k
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 [COMPLETE]
94: Mark Lee
pairing: mclaren driver!mark x performance coach!femreader
genre: fluff, romance, teensy bit of angst(?)
description: After years of watching the front runners, Mark is finally in the thick of it, leading McLaren’s resurgence on the grid. With the team’s hopes pinned on him, he’s determined to prove himself, but the pressure is mounting. Between managing his own expectations and the weight of competition from teammates and rivals alike, Mark finds himself drawn to someone who has been by his side for years—someone who’s seen it all but remains just out of reach. As the stakes climb higher, the line between personal and professional blurs, and Mark is left to navigate the one challenge he never saw coming.
w/c: TBD
3: Joshua Hong
pairing: mercedes driver!joshua x teammate's sister!femreader
genre: fluff, angst, forbidden romance au
description: New team, new teammate, new standards to live up to. For Joshua, stepping into Mercedes is a test of everything he’s worked for. Competing against a world champion teammate, adapting to a new team dynamic, and finding his place in the spotlight, he’s under pressure like never before. But things start to get a little out of control when he keeps bumping into you, his teammate's sister...and manager.
w/c: 57k
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 [COMPLETE]
14: Jeong Jaehyun
pairing: ferrari driver!jaehyun x performance engineer!femreader
genre: enemies2lovers, angst, romance
description: Jaehyun has been with Ferrari long enough to know what’s expected of him, but stepping into the 2026 season is different. The weight of a departed teammate still lingers, and with the spotlight on him to deliver, this season will test whether he can lead a team already defined by loyalty and legacy. You’ve been part of that history too, having worked on Seungcheol’s side, bringing both experience and the high standards he left behind.
Too bad Jaehyun is done living in the shadow of a world champion.
Formula 1 is a world of speed, power, and relentless ambition—where the noise of the engines drowns out everything else, and the only thing that matters is crossing the finish line first. But behind the glitz and glamour of the paddock, it’s a battleground. A place where drivers push their bodies and minds to the limit, where teams are defined by their victories and their failures, and where loyalty is tested with every turn of the wheel.
In this world, the most thrilling moments aren’t always the ones that happen on the track. It’s when teammates become rivals. When secrets are kept, loyalties are tested, and nothing is ever quite what it seems. When the line between friendship, rivalry, and love blurs as fast as the cars on the circuit.
It's about reaching beyond the speed. Beyond the victories. Beyond the grid.
you can find the taglist here!
66: Lee Haechan
pairing: red bull driver!haechan x PRmanager!femreader
description: Haechan, bold, aggressive and unrelenting, is back after a narrowly missed opportunity to become the world champion in 2024. This time, he's set his sight on making it all the way to the top. You, as his newly appointed PR representative, are assigned with the task of keeping up with a world of high stakes, unpredictable twists and well, him.
w/c: 33.6k
Part 1 Part 2 [COMPLETE]
1: Choi Seungcheol
pairing: ferrari driver!scoups x ex!femreader
genre: angst, romance, exes to lovers au, childhood bestfriends / neighbours au
description: Four-time world champion Choi Seungcheol has spent years at the top with Ferrari, but as the 2025 season drags on, he can’t shake the feeling that he’s not quite where he used to be. The competition is catching up, his team isn't what it used to be, and for the first time, he’s starting to wonder if he’s past his prime. By the time the season winds down, he finds himself back in his hometown, which isn't quite the same either. But the hardest race was never on track, and sooner or later, he’ll have to figure out what comes next.
w/c: 46.5k
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 [COMPLETE]
94: Mark Lee
pairing: mclaren driver!mark x performance coach!femreader
genre: fluff, romance, teensy bit of angst(?)
description: After years of watching the front runners, Mark is finally in the thick of it, leading McLaren’s resurgence on the grid. With the team’s hopes pinned on him, he’s determined to prove himself, but the pressure is mounting. Between managing his own expectations and the weight of competition from teammates and rivals alike, Mark finds himself drawn to someone who has been by his side for years—someone who’s seen it all but remains just out of reach. As the stakes climb higher, the line between personal and professional blurs, and Mark is left to navigate the one challenge he never saw coming.
w/c: TBD
3: Joshua Hong
pairing: mercedes driver!joshua x teammate's sister!femreader
genre: fluff, angst, forbidden romance au
description: New team, new teammate, new standards to live up to. For Joshua, stepping into Mercedes is a test of everything he’s worked for. Competing against a world champion teammate, adapting to a new team dynamic, and finding his place in the spotlight, he’s under pressure like never before. But things start to get a little out of control when he keeps bumping into you, his teammate's sister...and manager.
w/c: 57k
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 [COMPLETE]
14: Jeong Jaehyun
pairing: ferrari driver!jaehyun x performance engineer!femreader
genre: enemies2lovers, angst, romance
description: Jaehyun has been with Ferrari long enough to know what’s expected of him, but stepping into the 2026 season is different. The weight of a departed teammate still lingers, and with the spotlight on him to deliver, this season will test whether he can lead a team already defined by loyalty and legacy. You’ve been part of that history too, having worked on Seungcheol’s side, bringing both experience and the high standards he left behind.
Too bad Jaehyun is done living in the shadow of a world champion.
Pairing: Non-Idol Jeonghan x F. Reader
WC: 14.5+K
Rating: E 18+ MDNI
Genre: Non-Idol AU, Childhood friends to Lovers, smut, fluff
Summary: Growing up, you and Jeonghan were inseparable, best friends, partners in crime, each other’s rocks when needed. It was always you and him against the world. Then you grew up. You moved away for college while he stayed behind. Lives took you in different directions, further away from your hometown, from the world you knew, from Jeonghan. But you both made a promise, the year you turned 31, you two would meet again no matter where life took you. To reconnect, to catch up, to remember your friendship. It was meant to be a rebirth of your friendship, but really it was the beginning of something more. And remind you that he's home
Tags: Non-Idol AU, Childhood friends to Lovers, Reuniting, mentions of teenage rebellion (smoking, drinking, other things teens shouldn’t be doing), rough housing, mention of family loss, yearning, Jeonghan is down bad, Member Appearances, drinking, smoking (weed and cigarettes), tension, flirting, angst, fluff, smut; Nickname: bug (hers)
Smut tags: Unprotected sex (no don’t do this), oral (m. receiving)
A/N: Here is my second submission for the wonderful The Reef In Bloom collab by @dorereef. Thank you again to @mylovesstuffs (for letting me use your name in this too!) and @nothoughtsjustfic for hosting this collab. This was alot of fun to write and be part of. I once more am happy to be part of it.
A/N2: Thank you for @gam3bo17 and @aeristudios for helping me out with this fic, and thank you Aeris for beta reading. You are the best! <3
I hope you all enjoy! My Jihoon submission will be later this week.
Seventeen Masterlist
*Twenty-four years ago*
“Yoon Jeonghan!” His mother’s voice boomed through the small home, your full name quickly following, but it was fruitless. The two of you were already running out the door, giggling, both of you with handfuls of the cookies that his mother had spent hours making.
“This way,” you tell him, and the seven-year-old boy nodded, following you without any further questions. Just like you did him.
Pushing aside a broken board in a fence, you and him slipped through into an abandoned looking backyard. On the other end of the yard, there was an old wooden shed and exactly where you were leading him. The once fresh and crisp wood now weathered from age and the elements; the door barely held onto its hinges, and a window that had several cracks in it.
Your hidden oasis. Yours and Jeonghan's little hide out.
Inside the old building, cobwebs covered corners of the walls. There was an old lawnmower that was rusted and abandoned to time and a built-in table to one side that was already filled with other snacks and drinks you both swiped from each other’s home. There were also two small sleeping bags laid out to be able to sit on the ground without getting your bottoms dirty.
“I can’t believe she fell for that,” Jeonghan giggled, setting his share of the cookies onto a broken plastic plate, one your grandmother threw away and you dug out of the trash to use in your ‘hide out’.
“I told you, she would. She’s like my grandma when she is baking.” You tell him with ease. Your seven-year-old confidence was admirable, your share joining his on the plate, except for one that you were going to eat. Taking a bite of the soft warm cookie, you continued to talk with your mouth full, “It was all a matter of striking at the right moment. You know this, Hanni.”
“She is going to be so mad at me when I get home,” He chuckled, his own mouth now full of cookies. You roll your eyes, reaching up from your place on the ground to grab two juice boxes, because you knew Jeonghan’s mom wasn’t going to be that mad. Not like your grandma would be at least. “She will be!”
“She never stays mad at you,” You quipped, dropping your cookie to cross your arms, a pout already forming. “You hardly ever get in trouble.”
“That’s not true!” Jeonghan shot back, copying you exactly, but stuck his tongue out in the process. “You don’t know how often I get in trouble. Especially because of you!”
“I don’t tell you to join in! I suggest!” You could feel your body growing hot with annoyance, dropping your arms with your fists now clenched. “You are the one who gets me in trouble all the time!”
“Yes, you do! You pulled my hair the last time I didn’t go with one of your plans!” Jeonghan snapped, and you gasped like he had just insulted your entire doll collection. Then you hit his arm, and his face darkened. “See! You hit me if I don’t agree with you!”
“You pushed me in the mud the last time I disagreed with you!” You countered, your young voices rising as you both did, getting into each other’s faces. “And I was grounded for a week after that too! I couldn’t watch TV because of you!”
Somehow this turned into a little squabble, where you and Jeonghan grabbed each other. Your hand was in his short dark hair, while he was trying to swat you off, crying out to let him go. In the middle of it, one of your feet kicked the plate that held your stolen cookies, breaking the plastic further and the baked treats were now being trampled by your feet.
“Look what you did!” Jeonghan yelled, pointing to the cookies when he finally was able to get your hand out of his hair while you stood there. Your face contorted into anger, and more offense that he would blame you when he was being the mean one.
“I didn’t just do that! You did too!” You retorted, and the young boy rolled his eyes. “Our cookies are ruined! And so is our little spot! You need to clean that up!”
“No, you!”
“You!”
In the end, the two of you ended up sitting on opposite ends of the sleeping bags. Arms crossed, backs facing each other, while the broken cookies and plate rested between you both. The silence was loud as you both refused to be the one to speak first, both of you too stubborn to break first.
In the end it was Jeonghan who broke the silence, standing to grab another juice box for you both and a packet of candies that you liked from the table. A peace offering in a way. You shot him a look, your eyes dropping to the candies and juice box before up to his face. His gaze was softer, with an apologetic expression on his face.
“Sorry,” He mumbled, and you tried to keep up being mad, but the way his bottom lip jutted out as he apologized made it hard. Instead, you reached out and took the offerings, and he sat down next to you.
“Sorry too...” You mumbled, sharing the candies with him before cleaning up the broken plate and ruined cookies.
*Thirteen years ago*
“Oh my god, Jeonghan, stop hogging the joint!” You whined, reaching for the rolled up paper that had your weed in it, but Jeonghan seemed to be trying to smoke it all to himself.
“Give me. Remember its puff puff give. I only did one puff.” He retorted, holding the joint just out of your reach so you were practically falling into the eighteen-year-old boy.
“Bullshit! That was more than one; hell it was more than two! It was like three!” You argued back, your arm still outstretched to grab the joint from him, “Yoon Jeonghan, if you don’t give me that joint now, I am beating your bitch ass up.”
“Please like you can take me,” Jeonghan laughed, attempting to put the burning joint back to his lips, his other arm trying to push you back while you fought to grab it from him.
You both were back at the shed again, the same old structure still holding out even after all these years, but things were different. The old lawnmower was now gone and sitting next to the it, collecting more rust and cobwebs in its new home, the webs in the corners no longer there, and the sleeping bags had changed to an old loveseat that one of your friends found. The juice boxes and snacks that were once on the table were replaced with a pizza box, a half empty bottle of Jeonghan’s dad stolen whiskey, a baggy of cheap weed, and some rolling papers.
And the two seven-year-olds who would hide away in it with stolen snacks, or other things to entertain were now eighteen. Freshly graduated from high school, stuck in that limbo stage where you both weren’t quite adults but not quite children anymore, and preparing for the next steps in your life. You were going off to a school abroad while Jeonghan was staying back in your hometown, choosing to go to a local college first.
“God, you’re so annoying,” You pouted, practically pushing him back and sitting on his stomach to grab the joint, but laughter was filtering out of you before you could stop it. Bringing laughter from the pinned man below you, a lazy smirk played over his lips like he was meant to win this no matter what. “Jeonghan, you’re going to smoke it all!”
“Then I will buy you more!” He argued, and you slapped his chest. Grabbing your wrist before you could hit him again, Jeonghan’s grip held you there as he lifted the joint to your lips. Like instinct, you took a deep inhale, letting the harsh herb fill your lungs and altering your non-sober state more. You try to free yourself from him, so you can smoke it how you wanted, but he wouldn’t let you.
Pulling back finally, you blew the smoke from your lungs into the air, and it was then that Jeonghan let you go, only to be smacked in the chest once more before you slipped off him and back to your seat next to him. Your leg tucked under you, your bare skin pressing into the old wood by your weight, but you ignored any possible splinters that may come from it.
“You suck, you know that?” You tell him, and this earned another chuckle from him.
“And you blow. We’re both whores here.” Jeonghan teased, placing the joint between his lips to rest his arms behind his head. Each breath inhaled the smoke from nearly finished joint into his lungs. His long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail, but there were several strands that fell loose around his face.
His old Sublime shirt torn in a different place and showed off his stomach from the way he was laying, skinny jeans, and a gold chain with angel wings that was once yours laying against his throat. Skin glowing from the setting sun and the lantern behind you both, making him look ethereal.
You envied how beautiful your best friend was.
“Give me that,” You quipped, taking the chance to swipe the joint from him. A triumphant smile was playing over your lips before you realized that it was nearly gone. “You asshole, you smoked most of this.”
“And you drank most of my whiskey. Call us even.” He answered dismissively, closing his eyes briefly.
“Whatever,” you told him, taking whatever hit you can of the joint before putting it out, smashing it hard against the wood. Silence followed, the two of you sitting at the doorway of the shed, your eyes scanning the overgrown yard and the half burnt down house just feet from you.
It’d been like that for years, with no one coming to do anything about the destroyed home or the property it stood on, making it a haven for you and Jeonghan growing up, and a place of many things. Your first kiss with a boy that smelled like he used a whole can of body spray to cover that he hadn’t bathed, Jeonghan’s first kiss with a girl who tried to fight you over him.
You spent nights in the shed to avoid your grandparents and their old fashion but offensive words, many with Jeonghan right next to you. Refusing to leave you while you refused to crash at his place, because you knew his mom would call your grandparents. You got high and drunk for the first time with him next to you, and blasted music through a shitty speaker that neither of you could explain the origin of.
Hell, you two used it as a place to hide once when you had the cops called on you for stealing. You don’t think either of you had ever been so scared thinking you were caught, but it didn’t stop you because the thrill left you both laughing until your stomach hurts.
You laughed, cried, and felt every emotion you could think of in this shed, with Jeonghan beside you. In a week's time, you will be on a plane to a new country with a family friend willing to house you during your studies, and away from your home. Away from your life, away from the little shed. Away from the comforting blanket of your hometown.
Away from Jeonghan.
“You’re thinking too loud again,” His voice pulled you from your thoughts, turning your gaze toward your best friend. He was still laying back; arms folded behind his head as a pillow and prop, with his eyes on you. A small sad smile played on his lips, because he knew what you were thinking about too. “Talk to me, bug.”
"You're a bug. I should squish you," You answer back, matching his smile as you watched him let our a breathy laugh.
“I would like to see you try. You couldn’t even get the joint from me.” He then lifts his leg to nudge you with his knee. “Now, talk to me.”
“It’s stupid.”
“I mean, yeah your face is, but it’s at least pretty while being it.” He offered and you slapped his knee. He then sat up, giving you the famous lazy Jeonghan smirk you grew up seeing, but you could tell it was only a front.
“Just… growing up.” You told him, gesturing between the two of you, “We’re no longer kids anymore…”
“Debatable.” He murmured while you spoke.
“…we graduated high school and are preparing to be thrusted into the real world. We’re having to finally grow up and face life. I’m…” The words failed you then, and in its place was a soft choking sound. A sob that wanted to burst through, but you managed to swallow it back while blinking the sudden tears that wanted to fall. Jeonghan could see it all as he nodded. “I’m leaving… leaving everything I know…” This time your voice cracked, “Leaving you.”
“Please, the moment you agreed to marry me on the playground at five you were stuck with me.” Jeonghan answered, doing what he did best, trying to make light of something instead of showing what he’s really feeling. And you hated that it would work more times than it didn’t. “Just… there is going to be some distance between us. It’s not like I’m not a phone call or message away, and we’ll see each other again. This isn’t a final thing.”
“It feels like it is.” This comment made him tsk at you.
“It doesn’t to me.” He shook his head, watching through broken windows as a car passed by. The driver wouldn’t even know you were sharing one of the last times together before life took hold of you. One of the last times you would be free like this, this age, in the moment, and with the only person, besides your grandparents, who stuck by your side.
Someone you grew up with, someone you got into trouble with, someone who never was fake with you. Someone you saw every day and spent most of it with. Your best friend.
“It doesn’t?”
“Of course not. How could it be when we are still so young?” He asked simply and you could only listen to him, “It’s also not like you are leaving for good. Your grandparents are still here; your friends are here… I am here.”
“But what if our lives don’t allow room for each other anymore?” This earned another tsk, as well as an offending sounding laugh. Hurt flashed across his eyes before he looked away, like it was preposterous to even say something like that.
“I don’t know about you, but I’ll always have room for you in my life.” He said curtly, and you dropped your shoulders while making an over exasperated sigh. That wasn’t what you meant.
“Ugh, Hanni, I don’t mean it like that.” He turns his attention back to you, before flashing it toward the whiskey bottle. “I mean... what if even when I come home… we don’t have time for each other? We don’t get to see each other. You’re going to be working, going to school, and eventually you’re going to fall in love and have a partner. Same for me too.”
“I’m not sure how that sounds any different than your previous statement,” Jeonghan mumbled this, pushing his lip out in a pout. Reaching out, he caught a tear falling with his thumb, only to yank his hand away and shake it like he touched lava. This did what he wanted it to, which was to laugh.
“Hanni…”
“It’s okay. I forgive you for hurting my feelings. This is a hard time for us both,” There was so much honesty to his words, it was also written all over his face. He was trying to not think about the inevitable, which was you were leaving. Not the forever he had declared, but it was still hard. “It’s not just you losing something, I’m losing my best friend. My partner in crime. Who am I going to get into mischief with? Joshua?”
“I mean… at least he’ll keep you from getting arrested.”
“If he’s not too busy fucking anything that will let him.” Jeonghan rolled his eyes, “But I’m serious. You’re not the only one who loses something in this. Except I’m not accepting that this is it, because it’s not.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Of course I do, I’m Yoon fucking Jeonghan. I can bend the will of others with a flick of my wrist, and this will bend to my will.” You still don’t look convinced, and he clicks his tongue before speaking again, “How about this? If life takes us on different paths that separate us further, then the year we turn thirty-one, we meet again. You and me… and any husbands, wives, fiancés, life partners or children we may have. Somewhere nice, somewhere where our busy lives can’t touch us. Where we can catch up, and remember that it’s always been us, and it will always be us.”
“Really?”
“Yes, now ask me what will happen if life doesn’t do that.” He smirks, and you giggle.
“What will happen if life doesn’t?”
“Then we do it still!” He announced throwing his arms up, before one found its way over your shoulder. “No matter what, no matter where life takes us, we meet the year we turn thirty-one.”
“Why thirty-one though?”
“Because it’s too cliché to meet when we turn thirty. Goodness, this isn’t one of those romance movies you make me watch.” He gave you a brief squeeze before getting up to grab the whiskey bottle. “So, what you say?”
“I can easily argue that the last three romances we watched was because of you, not me.” Jeonghan sat back down next to you, the bottle in his hand, but it remained unopen. His attention was on you, his eyes watching you as you try to find the words. Every part of him told you that he was serious about this, and it helped ease an ache that was building in you. “And let’s do it.”
“Perfect. Now let’s drink to the future.”
A week later, you were clinging to him at the airport as your grandfather got your luggage together. This time tears weren’t holding back, Jeonghan wasn’t able to say anything to help because he was busy fighting his own. Instead, he just held you as you gripped at the offensive SpongeBob shirt he was wearing, soaking it with not just your tears, but the mascara and eyeliner you had thickly drawn on. Only to have it cried away telling your best friend goodbye for now.
“Hey,” Jeonghan’s voice was soft when he pulled back, making you look at him. His eyes were shining, and red. Evidence that he’d been crying, though you knew he’d insist he’s actually high, and it nearly broke you. “Remember what I said. The year we turn thirty-one.”
You nodded, and he gives you a soft smile.
“I’ll send you the details, so make sure you have the entire year free.” He teased and you let out a soft laugh before jumping from him, pinching you. You break away from his grasp to hit his shoulder. This earned a soft laugh from you, your eyes dropping to the angel wing necklace that still rested around his neck.
“I’ll be sure to have all my information changed by then.” You laughed, and he pinched your side again. Your name then came from behind you both, your grandparents calling to you. It was time to go. Looking back at Jeonghan, you gave him a watery smile, “I’m going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you too,” This was the first time his voice finally cracked, and a tear started to fall. It was real. It was happening.
“I’ll text you when I land.”
“You better.” He teased. “I will see you again.”
“See you again.”
**A year ago**
Your phone chimed right as you were cooking dinner, cutting off the music playing briefly, but you weren’t able to stop what you were doing to look. Too focused on making sure that you didn’t burn anything, but the couple that was in the kitchen with you noticed.
“Need me to check that?” You heard Celeste ask, and you looked over your shoulder, to her and Soonyoung grabbing the plates and cutlery for the table.
“No, it’s okay. I can check it later,” You waved her off, “Dinners ready, and we have a proposal to go over.”
“I thought there was no work talk at dinner?” Soonyoung teased, making you shoot your friend and co-owner a look, only to earn a playful wink back. He then turned to his fiancé with a smile, “If we’re working while we eat, you might as well open two bottles. One for us and one just for her.”
“Watch it Kwon, or I’ll run this company with Celeste instead” You warned him, grateful that Celeste was already stepping in to grab his collar to drag him out of the kitchen with everything to arrange at the table.
Twenty minutes later, the three of you were sitting around the table, two wine bottles open with one in front of you and one between the couple. You all were talking animatedly about the proposal that you and Soonyoung were putting together, hoping that the potential investor takes on your ideas and help launch your small business globally. Soonyoung had been right to have your own bottle open; it helped ease the tension that was building in your shoulders over all this, and there were more laughs than not.
“I think we should add some tiger imagery to the presentation; you think we can do that?” Soonyoung suggested a wine glass coming up to his lips, only for it to be stopped by his fiancé. He looks at her with confusion as she only shook her head. Celeste supported his love for tigers, but even she knew when to draw the line.
“I should hire you as our creative director,” You joked, tipping your own wine glass in her direction. “You can save me from a lot of tiger themed merchandise and advertising.”
“I love you, but if I took that, I probably would be canceling the wedding instead of planning a honeymoon,” Celeste laughed, and Soonyoung looked offended. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, I know how you are when you’re working. We met at work, remember?”
“Of course, I do. I barely was able to focus at meetings because all I wanted to do was look at you,” You actively rolled your eyes as the couple stared at each other like they hung the sun and the moon for each other, and it reminded you just how single you have been for the last few years. Happily single, but not when you were around these two being so sickeningly in love.
“Gag me.” You muttered making the two look at you. Celeste playfully stuck her tongue at you, and Soonyoung pretended to growl. That was when you knew that you had lost them both to being lovey toward each other. You took this chance to check your phone, remembering it had gone off while you were cooking.
It was a message. From Jeonghan.
Your eyes widened as your fingers tightened around the stem of your glass, or you were going to drop it onto the table and spill wine all over the place. Casting your eyes up, you were relieved to see your two friends were still too busy staring at each other to notice your reaction.
You and him hadn’t really spoken in nearly six years, not since you came home for your grandfather’s funeral. Of course, you would wish each other a happy birthday, send the occasional meme, or a quick hello, but other than that, you barely spoke. You didn’t want to admit that it was hard for you to respond because it made you want to go back to being that eighteen-year-old again.
But you knew what this was about. You had turned thirty recently, and his thirtieth was a few months away, which meant that the promise the two of you had made at eighteen, smoking and drinking in that abandoned shed, was also coming due. And he was reaching out to solidify the plans.
You should’ve waited to read and respond after your friends left, when you had time to yourself, but you didn’t. Clicking the notification, you unlocked the phone to read the message. Only to find it was confirmation for your plane tickets, and a set of dates. The first week of April next year, and for a week.
Back home. Where you hadn’t stepped foot in nearly six years.
A few more messages had followed.
Jeonghan: Told you to keep your schedule open.
Jeonghan: See you in April, bug.
**two days before**
You might’ve been overthinking it. No, you were overthinking this as you stared at an empty suitcase, piles of clothes folded around it on your bed, bags of new clothes at the foot of the bed, and your toiletries all laid out on your bathroom counter. All waiting to be packed.
None of your clothes had felt right, the makeup you chose to bring felt too plain, and your nerves were starting to suffocate you. A part of you felt like you shouldn’t feel this nervous, because it was just Jeonghan, but another part felt you were justified because it was Jeonghan. You hadn’t seen him in person since your grandfather’s funeral, only ever seeing his life through photos that he posted online.
Picture of him traveling with Joshua, and with your other friends, and relationships that never seemed to last a few months before the person disappeared from his photos. You watched his success in becoming a pharmacist like he had always wanted and was making a life for himself. He owned his own home, and he appeared happy with his life.
You had done the same, but away from him. You made a life where you now were, and selfishly barely looked back; especially after your grandfather had passed. You made friends where you were, had relationships, started a business with Soonyoung, and you made a life for yourself. You had become a different person, like he had.
This fact wasn’t the only thing that had your nerves starting to settle uneasy in your gut. You were both different, and what if that difference was so great that neither of you could enjoy your time together again. Uncomfortable strangers the entire week instead of old friends looking to reconnect.Not only that, but what if also being back home made it worse? That being there was more painful than it should be, and it made you resent your oldest friend for bringing you back?
Then your phone chimed, with a message coming through.
Jeonghan: See you when you land.
Jeonghan: And stop overthinking things. I can hear your thoughts all the way over here. Haha.
That made you burst out in a laugh, because of course this silly line he used to say to you growing up would help loosen some tightness in you. It didn’t settle your nerves though, it only unraveled them, so they weren’t making you want to throw up and cry at the same time.
You responded.
You: Too late, so deal with it.
His response was instantaneous.
Jeonghan: Gladly.
**April**
You swore this entire journey had been one big April Fool’s joke with the way everything had gone wrong. You managed to finally pack everything, though you still weren’t happy with your choices you couldn’t just go naked, but you overslept the morning of your flight. The ride you had ordered was canceled at the last minute, making you late to the airport and nearly missed boarding.
Checking in had been a nightmare, and then there was a delay taking off.
When the plane did finally set off, you thought you would be in the clear for now. It would be smooth flying after this, and the bad luck got itself out of the way now than following you the entire trip. You hoped that the long flight will go well and give you a chance to rest, or Jeonghan was going to see you have an absolute crash out over it all.
You managed to get enough sleep, so you weren’t as cranky when you landed, but it left you feeling stiff. You even tried to stretch some before unboarding, but it and the awkward shuffling didn’t help. Gripping at your carryon, your focus was to get your suitcase and out of the airport. There’s a bed somewhere calling to you, and you were ready to meet the call.
With your suitcase now secured, you checked your phone to see if Jeonghan was there yet after insisting on picking you up instead of ordering a ride. Except when you looked around the semi-crowded airport, you didn’t see him anywhere. There was no sight of the famous Jeonghan smirk, no sign being dramatically held up with your name, or anything like that.
Your phone started to ring in your hands.
“Where are you?” You answered, pressing the device to your ear and skipping any and all pleasantries. This earned a chuckle on the other side, and your eyes immediately narrowed. Even with the time apart, you knew never to trust that chuckle.
“About that…” He started slowly, showing you were right not to trust it. There was no way he was going to try and fuck with you, but you should’ve known better, “I am running late, car troubles, won’t be there for a few hours. You’re going to have to wait until I get there.”
“Yoon Jeonghan…” You took in a slow breath, trying to fight the annoyance that was bubbling under the surface. No, he wasn’t going to do this to you after the trip you’ve just had, “You better not be fucking with me right now.”
“I wish, I could say I was,” There was a sigh to his voice, but before you could let him have it, he continued, “I am very sorry, bug. I wish I was there to see you right now. With your hair an absolute mess, your sweater falling off you, and the way you are pouting right now. It’s so cute.”
“Huh?” You blinked, looking down at your body. Your sweater had fallen from your shoulders and was resting right at your elbows while strands of your hair escaped the loose ponytail you had put up. How the hell did he know if he wasn’t there? Before you could question it, you felt a light tap on your shoulder. Twisting around, Jeonghan was standing there.
The phone still pressed to his ear, eyes shining with excitement and mischief, and that smirk that you once knew oh so well. His hair was shorter than the last time you seen him with it back to his natural dark brown. He was in a simple black t-shirt with a matching jacket and a pair of white pants, and you couldn’t stop the way your heart skipped at the sight of him.
“April Fool’s. Forgive me?” He teased, barely able to hang up the call before you were throwing your arms around his neck for a hug. The force of you jumping into him made Jeonghan stumble back slightly, but once he was able to catch his footing, his arms wrapped around your waist.
He pulled you so close your body was pressed against his like he had been desperate for this moment, but you were no better. Nuzzling your nose into his shirt, taking in the scent of his perfume and the way he held you tight. His own nose pressed to your hair, breathing in the faint smell of your perfume and shampoo, fingers flexing and squeezing gently at your sides.
Both of you forgot that you were still in the middle of the airport.
“You asshole!” You finally bursted out when the two of you parted, slapping his arm while he laughed at you attempting to scold him. He saw the smile forming over your lips, making the smirk he was wearing turn into a genuine smile. One that nearly stole the very breath from you, “That wasn’t funny.”
“It was a little funny.” He still hadn’t let go of you, his hands resting on your hips like they always belonged there, his gaze drinking you in. Then he stepped back, withdrawing his hold on you to reach for your suitcase handle, “Now, let’s get out of here before you shove me into the cargo hold of one of these planes.”
“You would deserve it,” You retorted earning an eye roll from him. One hand placed firmly against the small of your back, and the other pulling your suitcase behind you. With cool precision, Jeonghan directed you out of the airport while chatting with you about his day and asking you about your flight.
Like it was all part of a daily conversation you would always have, and there was no time between your last full conversation that wasn’t in text.
“After you,” Jeonghan announced, making sure to open the passenger door for you while providing an overexaggerated bow that made you playfully swat his shoulder. A giggle escaped you as you got into the car, while he finished putting your suitcase in the back. Settling into the driver’s seat, he flashed you a lazy smile and you missed the way his hand twitched slightly to reach for yours. Instead he put the car into drive. “Let’s get out of here.”
“You know, you never told me where I was staying.” You told him, your eyes watching the way the town looked now. Businesses that were once there on the main street gone, replaced with franchise stores and popular food spots. Places that you once occupied with your friends or grandparents gone, showing that the town was growing and changing like you had.
It didn’t feel like your old home, but there was still something about it that told you it was. Just with a different look.
“Easy. With me.” He said with no hesitation, making you look at him. He had a pair of black sunglasses on, leaning back against the driver’s seat with one hand on the wheel while the other rested on his lap. Looking relaxed as he drove through the familiar streets. Stopping at a light, he cast a glance your way and you weren’t sure, but you thought that his relaxed smile faltered slightly. “Rather get a room? The old motel is still open, but you might have to cuddle with some roaches and a few rats.”
“I think I am good on that,” You don’t hide your look of disgust, and this made Jeonghan start laughing as the light turned. “I would like the bed I sleep on be free of other occupants.”
“Is that so?” He muttered, his focus on the road letting silence fall over you. The radio was playing quietly, and you started to notice the familiar names of the streets.
They were the same names you would see every day growing up, the same streets you used to run around growing up. You chance a glance toward Jeonghan, only to find his focus on the road but the look on his face told you that he was waiting for your reaction.
Especially once he turned on the familiar street that the two of you grew up on.
“I knew you moved close to family, but I didn’t know you…” The words stopped in your throat when you pulled up to a beautiful home. It looked newer compared to the others on the street. White with grey trimming and a neatly cut yard with a stone pathway that lead right up to a small porch with a planter next to the door.
It was beautiful and unfamiliar, but you knew this property. It didn’t matter how long it had been since you came back; you knew exactly where you were.
“Come on, bug. Let’s get inside.” Jeonghan didn’t give you a chance to process your thoughts before he was shutting off the engine and unbuckle both of your belts. He was out of the car, leaving you there staring at the empty seat that he had once occupied.
It was the sound of the trunk closing that you were able to kick start back up and rushed to get out the car to follow him up the small pathway to the front door. Your heart was pounding in your ears, eyes wide staring at the home and Jeonghan’s back.
Once inside, you didn’t stop to look around the home, instead your feet took you from the front door, through the open living room to a set of glass doors. If Jeonghan had said something to you, you didn’t hear it because your focus was getting to the backyard. You barely looked around the yard itself, just that it was well taken care of.
No, your focus was on the shed that was in the same familiar place. You could feel tears starting to burn your eyes, memories flooding back to you, your eyes flicking over to the fence that once had a broken board. It was fixed with forsythias and azaleas flourishing in front of it, but you could still see a young Jeonghan popping through it while you waited for him at the shed.
“It’s not the same one.” Jeonghan said softly behind you, but you didn’t look back, not wanting him to see a few tears fall. “The old owners finally sold the property four years ago to a realtor company. They rebuilt the house and tore down it before putting the place back on the market.”
“And you bought it.” You responded, finally looking at him. He had his hands in his pants pockets, balancing on the balls on his feet, while his eyes were on you, catching more tears starting to fall.
“Yeah, well, with the help from my parents. With conditions obviously,” Jeonghan continued, keeping his attention on you, “Moment I moved in, I had the shed put back in. It’s used to actually store shit, not a hang out like we used to have it, but just something didn’t feel right without it there.”
“What was the conditions?” You asked in a small voice, trying to wipe away the wetness from your face, when Jeonghan caught your elbow. Pulling you into a hug, he let out a soft tsk.
“Let’s not worry about that right now.” It was a clear deflection, but he wouldn’t let you wiggle away from him to call him out. Then his hands found its way to your sides and started to tickle you.
“Jeonghan!” You let out a small squeal, giggling while trying to get away from him. His own laughter mixed through yours in a sweet melody, helping you forget your tears.
“Come on, let me show you to your room.” His arm thrown lazily over your shoulder, directing you back toward the house. “And no roaches or rats to cuddle with.”
Jeonghan gave you a brief tour of his home, a kitchen and living room open floor style. Three bedrooms, the larger one with an ensuite on one side, while the two smaller ones with a Jack n Jill style on the other. Your room faced the yard, giving you perfect view of the shed, while Jeonghan had the larger room.
He left you to unpack and get cleaned up from your travels. The shower felt good, hot water helping you loosen the still sore muscles from your long flight and fight off the fatigue that you didn’t know was creeping up on you. By the time you had gotten out, your skin felt flushed from the heat with your hands and feet slightly wrinkled. The towel Jeonghan had left out was dark grey, soft and fluffy and felt like heaven against your skin.
It felt good to be out of your airport clothes and in a soft pair of leggings and oversized t-shirt. Your hair was still slightly damp, so you left it loose around your bare face Now that you were back around Jeonghan, the nerves you were feeling all but melted away and didn’t feel like you needed to look all done up just to lounge around the house.
“Hope you’re hungry.” He announced proudly when you finally emerged, setting two beer bottles on the table with a spread of take out. He wasn’t looking your way. “You took so long I managed to make us a feast.”
“Make us a feast huh?” You laughed, crossing your arms as you take in the sight before you. “Wanted to make sure it was authentically homemade by including the plastic containers?”
“I mean, only the best for…” His words died on his tongue as he went to look at you, his hand slowly dropping to his side. There was a flicker of awe and desire that went across his face before he shook his head, and it was replaced with a smirk. “…you...”
“I feel so honored,” You went to pull out of the chairs to sit, but Jeonghan had beat you to it by pulling it out for you instead, before taking a seat next to you, focusing on the containers. Grabbing both beers, you popped them open with ease and set them down in front of you both.
Dinner consisted of the two of you stuffing your faces, battling over the last pieces of meat, which he won by cheating at rock, paper, scissors. You drank several beers between you each while talking about work, friends, family, and life. You told him about meeting Celeste in college then later Soonyoung through her, the jewelry business that you and him thought up after too many bottles of wine, how it actually was doing well, and the couple’s upcoming wedding.
While Jeonghan told you about college, the trouble him and their friends got into, updated you on his parents and sister, and about the pharmacy he works at with Joshua. You laughed over stories, and it felt like no time had passed between you.
“What about relationships?” Jeonghan asked, leaning back in his chair with a beer close to his lips, watching the way you swirled your beer around in the bottle. “Anyone special?”
“Just a vibrator named Owini with two I’s.” This made Jeonghan raise a brow as he took a sip. “O.W.I.N.I. Orgasm when I need it.”
“Clever.” He coughed out after nearly choking on his beer, laughing at the name.
“What about you? Anyone in your life?” It was your turn to watch him, trying to gauge his reaction. Jeonghan was leaning back against the chair, looking forward with a half-smile playing over his lips.
“No one special. At least not for a long time.” He answered finally, finishing his beer with a smack to his lips. Licking them, he sat the beer down onto the table before standing and stretched. He ignores the confused expression on your face with his sudden movements, “Let’s get this all cleaned up bug and have a few more beers. Maybe watch a movie or something.”
You nod your head slowly, following suit to help throw away the empty containers and put away anything that you two didn’t finish. When you were done, Jeonghan grabbed a few more beers from the fridge and met you at the sofa to find something to watch. Picking some random movie that you couldn’t remember the name, both of you talked and laughed until all the beers were empty and Jeonghan was half asleep on the sofa.
**Day 2**
“Oh, it is so good to see you sweetie!” Jeonghan’s mother wouldn’t let go of you, hugging you tightly as if you were going to disappear on her if she did. The next day the two of you had gone to his parents’ for lunch on his mother’s insistence, “I missed you, my dear.”
“I missed you too,” You answered, giving Jeonghan a ‘save me’ look when she didn’t let go, only for him he didn’t come to save you, instead just watched with mild amusement from his place against the kitchen counter. Releasing you from the hug, she grasped your shoulders to look at you, making you turn your gaze back to her.
“You should not stay away so long,” She scolded, leaning forward like she was revealing a secret, “Our Hanni has not been the same since the last time you left.”
“Oh…” You let out a nervous laugh, looking back toward Jeonghan with a questioning gaze, but he was no longer looking at you. Instead, he was staring warning daggers into his mother’s back. It reminded you how he wouldn’t look at you the previous night either, but before you could say anything further, you were being lead to a table full of food.
“Sit, sit. I hope you are hungry, I made all of your favorites.” You were then gently pushed into a seat, with Jeonghan following and took a seat next to you, “Oh goodness, I forgot drinks. Let me grab those.”
“I told her not to do all this, but she insisted,” Jeonghan had muttered so only you could hear.
“I believe it,” You responded back, leaning toward him with a raised brow, “What did she mean by you haven’t been the same?”
“Nothing, just missed my best friend is all,” He answered simply. For a brief moment you thought his gaze dropped to your lips before he looked away to speak with his mother. Changing the subject all together as well.
The rest of the visit had consisted of more catching up, with Jeonghan’s father and sister coming by to join in, but you were barely able to pay attention. You couldn’t stop looking over toward Jeonghan, feeling that there was something more than ‘he just missed his best friend’. Like true Jeonghan fashion, he didn’t give anything away.
There was a possibility that you might be looking too much into it, reminding yourself that before you left for college, the two of you were with each other every day, and were inseparable. Hell, every time you came home, you and Jeonghan would always be together. Then after your grandfather passed away, you just… stopped coming back.
It wasn’t that you had wanted to stay away, it just was harder to come back now that both your grandparents were gone. It was hard to come back when you no longer would walk into the home you grew up to them, and life just kept getting into the way. Work ended up taking precedence since you and Soonyoung were focused on your jewelry company, finding the time off had grew harder, or whatever excuse you gave to make yourself feel better for not coming back.
You had known that it had affected Jeonghan, going from having his best friend every day to a few times a year to sparse messages and social media posts, but you didn’t think that meant ‘he hasn’t been the same’.
After leaving the Yoons’, you went with him to run a few errands that he’d needed to run, and the entire time you still had his mother’s words playing in your head. Which he noticed, but like him, you wouldn’t give anything away, giving the excuse you were just in a food coma.
“I don’t believe you, just so you know.” He told you, pushing up his sunglasses with one finger while his other hand rested on the steering wheel. Casting a glance toward you, he noticed that you were looking out the passenger window. “You can keep your secrets for now, but I will get them out of you. I always do.”
“I can say the same for you.” You chirped back, your eyes on the different buildings passing by, taking in the different buildings. Some familiar, some different. You could hear him let out a breathy laugh. “You have your secrets, and I have mine. If I have to spill so will you.”
“Touche, bug.”
Once back to Jeonghan’s, you disappeared into your room to answer some emails and make a few calls for work. You may have been on a trip, but that didn’t mean that you were truly on vacation, and the workload never ends. Soonyoung was a great business partner and assured you that he had it all handled so you can enjoy your time away (since you would be doing the same when he and Celeste went on their honeymoon), but you needed a bit of a distraction.
“You hungry?” Jeonghan had asked at one point, knocking at your door as he opened it. A smile playing over his lips seeing you sitting cross legged on your bed, laptop open in front of you. You had changed into a pair of comfortable shorts and a baggy sweater, your hair pulled back out of your face (save for a strand that wouldn’t stay) and look of concentration on your face.
You didn’t hear the hitch in his breath when you looked up at him, that look of concentration melt away to a small smile as you shook your head.
“I’m still full from that feast your mom made us,” You answered with a laugh, looking back to the laptop and to the email you had been working on. “I’m almost done here, just need to send off a few more emails, and then call Soonyoung regarding a large order of smokey quartz for our Smokey collection. I shouldn’t be too much longer.”
“You do know the whole point of this trip was to also not worry about work?” Jeonghan teased, making his way to the bed and flopped down onto the empty space next to you. Rolling onto his side, he looked up at you with his dark round eyes, shining with mischief with his hand inching toward the laptop to shut. Which you reached out and took with yours, holding it as you placed it back onto the bed. Making him pout.
“I am almost done, I promise.” You told him, not expecting the sudden urge to lean forward to kiss the pout he was sporting, nor the way you were still holding his hand. Or that he had adjusted the hold so that your fingers were laced together.
“Well, when you’re done, I’ll be right here.” He responded, finally letting go of your hand to roll onto his back, pulling his phone out to scroll. You raised your brow at him, he didn’t even look your way when he added, “Don’t look at me like that. I’m lonely out there and you’re in here working.”
“Price to pay on owning your own business.”
Though you did manage to get some work done, you couldn’t really concentrate with Jeonghan lying next to you, now fast asleep with his phone resting face down on his chest. The soft clicking of your fingers against the keys had lulled him into a sleep and you found yourself watching him several times. Taking in the way he still looked like the boy you had grown up with, only older. Thick lashes kissing his skin, skin still smooth but with the hints of age coming through. The lips that were pouting at you earlier, soft and plush looking, partially open with a soft snore leaving him. He looked peaceful, he looked breathtaking, he looked like he was where he was meant to be. Next to you. Your Jeonghan.
Your heart fluttered at this notion, the words your Jeonghan felt different even in your head. Or was it always this way and you just ignored it since he was your best friend.
When you finished your emails and came time to call Soonyoung, you chose to take it outside to not disturb the sleeping man next to you. You also wanted to enjoy the evening weather, finding yourself sitting on the step of the shed to take your call and maybe clear your head some.
The shed wasn’t the same, but the memories were still there when you sat down on the newer wood. The years you and Jeonghan spent in the old rickety building that once stood there, doing things that looking back neither of you had any business doing as teenagers. Drinking, smoking, and everything else that came with being rebellious teens and too much freedom to do it all.
It shaped who you both were as adults, and still a part of who you were. Even if you tried to run away.
“There you are.” Jeonghan’s tired voice had pulled you from your thoughts and tore your gaze from a patch in the grass to him. His face slightly puffy from sleep, and a yawn escaping him as he made his way to you before flashing you a lazy half grin. “Was wondering where you went.”
“I had to call Soonyoung and you were snoring. I didn’t want to wake you or have him questioning if I was next to a walrus.” You teased, unable to stop the corners up your lips to twitch up, earning a chuckle from the slender man.
“So, kind of you.” He muttered reaching you, leaning against the wall of the shed. The sun had already dropped past the horizon, but there was still a glow to the yard, emphasizing the shadows and adding a hauntingly beautiful look to the spring evening. “Clocked out now?”
“I’m always clocked in.” This made him chuckle, before slipping into his pocket to pull out a lighter and a joint. With the rolled herb between his lips, he lit it with the lighter. Taking a deep inhale, you watched him blow the smoke out. Looking your way, he offered it.
“You still smoke?” He asked, and you looked at the joint then back to his face. A brow raised, “Vernon managed to find some for me. I haven’t smoked since the last time you were here…”
“I actually quit myself,” You told him reaching out to take the burning herb and took a hit of it. The paper was damp from his lips, and the smoke felt harsher than it had in the past, making you cough out the cloud of smoke instead of inhaling it. You managed to take another pull from it, filling your lung with the herbal smoke. Allowing the head change take effect.
A silence followed, just the two of you passing the joint between you. Leaning back, your eyes went up toward the sky to take in the darkening sky as the stars start to appear. While Jeonghan just watched you.
“What did you mom mean?” You asked softly, after a few minutes of feeling his gaze and the joint passing between you. Looking down at the nearly finished joint, now a roach at this point, flicking some ash handing off it. “How weren’t you the same?”
“Were you?” He returned your question with one of his own, reaching for what was left of the joint. You let out a scoff.
“Of course I wasn’t. I lost both my grandparents within a year of each other, had to watch my uncle stick that stupid for sale sign in the ground before the dirt settle so he could pay his debts…” You waved your hand in the air at nothing, before dropping it into your lap. Pushing your tongue into your cheek, you continued. “I was hurting, I was angry at my uncle, I felt like I had nothing here that was mine anymore, and I just wanted to run away.” You took a breath, closing your eyes to hold back the angry tears that were prickling behind them. Remembering that feeling ruined your high. “I left already not the same, but how were you?”
Jeonghan didn’t respond for a moment, the flick of the lighter making you look toward him to find that a second joint appeared and was lighting it. He took a quick inhale of the sweet herb, before handing it to you.
“You need this more than I do,” He muttered as you took it, making you tempted to throw it at him and tell him to go fuck himself, but you stopped yourself. He looked up toward the sky, crossing his arms and you took in how he looked. His baggy jeans, and a shirt that had enough room for the both of you, hair sticking up from sleeping in your bed, and a pair of wired glasses. Ones he had to of thrown on after waking up.
You were slow to take a hit of the herb, watching him carefully.
“You had me.” He finally said, not answering your question. It should’ve infuriated you and call him out if you didn’t look so confused. Licking his lips, he looked at you before repeating himself. “You had me here still. I thought I was home for you too.”
Maybe he was answering after all, in his own cryptic way.
“You were… you are…” You told him, before sighing, “I don’t regret how long I’ve been gone, but I do regret not keeping in touch better with you. I should’ve tried better for that.”
“Maybe, but you’re here now.” Jeonghan leaned forward and took the joint from you. “I plan to make sure you remember that you’re home with me.”
You watched as the joint pressed between his lips, the way his eyes closed slightly as he took a hit, unable to tear your gaze away. Slowly his eyes opened and you could see there was a sign of mischief there. Hiding away the vulnerableness that he’d been displaying. You watch the way his own gaze dropped to your lips then back to your eyes, blowing the smoke gently from the side of his mouth.
“Why do I feel like you are trying to make me fall in love with you?” You asked, meaning for it to be a tease but it came out breathier then you meant. Part of you thinking he might kiss you, but instead he let out a laugh, leaning back against the shed wall. Like nothing happened.
“Who knows, maybe I am.”
**Day 3**
To say you didn’t really do anything was a bit of an understatement. There has been no plans for the day, aside from the plans to meet friends later, so you just laid around. Collecting your energy for a night out drinking and spending time with old friends. Well, at this point they felt more like Jeonghan’s friends rather than your own, but he had insisted that wasn’t the case. That everyone missed you and were excited to see you again.
Jeonghan also continued on the day like the previous night didn’t happen, as if he didn’t look at you like he wanted to kiss you, or ‘joke’ about you falling in love with him. He just laid around with you, bugging you at random times about how bored he was, but wouldn’t get up to do anything. He would whine about how warm you were, but he seemed to scoot closer instead of away.
He would random poke you if you weren’t paying attention to him, complain about anything you turned on, but refused to choose anything. And the entire time used his pouty voice if you snapped at him.
“That’s it!” You growled out, grabbing the hand that attempted to pull a strand of hair falling into your face, distracting you so his other hand could tickle at your side. With his fingers brushing against the bare skin of your tank that had ridden up, making you jolt and grab that hand as well. Wrestling to get him to stop.
You’d forgotten that Jeonghan was a lot stronger than he looked, and could easily break your hold, but instead he was letting you think you were overpowering him. Filling the room with laugher, and in your wrestle, you found yourself straddling him.
Then you both froze, realizing how close you were. The tips of your noses brushing, both breathing heavy from the exertion, eyes locked with a new emotion coursing through you. Deeper than desire. Your hold then loosened on his wrists.
Now this wasn’t the first time you had ended up like this, you had many times in the past wrestling with each other. You’d done it since you were kids, with it always ending with you both laughing and unable to keep annoying the other.
This time…this time it was all different.
Your name fell from his lips before you were kissing him, which Jeonghan didn’t hesitate to return. His hands dropped down to your waist, pulling you closer until your chest was flushed against each other. A whimper left you at the desperation that flooded him, his tongue sliding over your bottom lip, wanting more—which you willing gave him.
His lips felt like heaven against yours, and the way his tongue teased yours it left you needing more of him. More and more. Your fingers pushing through his soft strands, while his dug into your hips to pulling them down to grind on him. Feeling him already hardening underneath the soft grey fabric of his sweats, making you grow hot with need and dampen your underwear.
Then you broke from the kiss, staring at your best friend in shock while he stared at you with desperate need in his heavy lidded eyes. His bottom lip swollen from your kiss, hands still holding onto your hips like a vice, and his arousal pressing against you. With your own body ablaze with the same need right down to your core.
“I…” You scrambled off him to stand, “I… we shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry… I… I need to get ready for tonight.”
Before Jeonghan could answer or stop you, you were already rushing to your room. Slamming the door behind you as you went, leaving him to stare at the space where you had been standing. Licking his lips, he slammed his fist onto the sofa cushion in frustration but stopped the frustrated groan that wanted to escape. Standing, he took off toward his room.
The ordered ride to the bar was an awkward one, with neither of you would speak or look at each other. You on one side of the backseat, playing with the pockets of your cargo pants before readjusting your tank and cardigan, the fabric not feeling like they fit right. While Jeonghan sat on the other side, looking out the window while his own hands were balled into fists on his lap.
The kiss hung between you, leaving you unsure how to approach it while Jeonghan was just unreadable. There’d been moments you thought he was angry with you, others he seemed frustrated, and then finally he appeared…sad. It ate at you, making it even harder to find the words.
The sound that erupted from the group when you entered the bar was almost deafening, and making others look your way. You were then showered with hugs, first by the girls and followed by Seungcheol, Vernon, and Joshua. Jeonghan had disappeared to the bar, leaving you to greet everyone.
“It’s been way to long,” Eunji couldn’t stop saying, hugging you for what felt like the nth time, “I thought you weren’t ever coming back.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I just… needed to be away.” You answered, when she finally let go of you for good, but that was because her fiancé, Vernon, had pulled her back to his side.
“No need to explain to us. We understand.” It was Vernon who spoke up, a finger wrapped through a hoop of Eunji’s pants, keeping her in place. “What matters is that you’re back.”
“And me missing you all matters too, ya know?” You pointed out with a teasing smile, when a cold glass of beer was pushed into your hands, making you look up to see Jeonghan had rejoined the group. He didn’t look at you, instead moving to Seungcheol and Joshua, leaving the others to surround you. Looking down at the beer, you hoped that your friends didn’t pick up the tension between you. Which by the silence and looks everyone was giving each other, you knew better.
You could see the way Eunji was about to open her mouth, only for her fiancé’s hand conveniently found its place over it. Minnie, who had been waiting for her moment to give you a proper hug, gave you a questioning gaze, while Seungcheol, Joshua, and Joshua’s wife looked at Jeonghan.
“I see one thing hasn’t changed,” Minnie had murmured into your ear, taking the beer so she could get an actual hug from you, “We are going to be talking about this.”
As the night went on, the tension between you and Jeonghan had loosened with him eventually finding his way back to your side. Arm thrown over your shoulder, like he hadn’t been giving you the cold shoulder since running from him and the kiss you shared, as he talked and laughed with everyone. Poking, teasing, and smiling at you like you hadn’t just rejected him in one of the worst ways possible.
It had helped you relax outwardly, joining in with the talking, teasing, even leaning into him and his touch. It was easy to do, even with the tension burning between you, it was easy to lean into his warmth like he would you. Except inwardly, you had a war raging on. One that involved the very man you were leaning into.
“I’m going for a cigarette.” Minnie announced, lifting Seungcheol’s hand off her knee to stand, grabbing her designer bag in the process, “Who’s coming with me?”
“I will,” Eunji practically jumped out of her seat, looking around the table for anyone else, both of them stopping briefly on you and Lily, Joshua’s wife. Subtly hinting that you were to join them.
“I have to pass. I been trying to quit, and don’t want to be tempted, sorry.” Lily answered, sipping at the bright blue cocktail she had ordered.
“Never apologize for that. You got more will power than I do,” Minnie waved her hand, her eyes going back to you, “Anyone else?”
“I’ll go,” You announce, standing with Jeonghan’s arm falling from your shoulder as you did. Making him look at you with a confused expression, “Just need a bit of fresh air. I’ll be back.”
You barely make it out of the bar before you were being cornered by the two women.
“Okay, spill.” Eunji demanded as Minnie pulled out a pack of cigarettes, grabbing two and a lighter from the box. One for each woman.
“What are you talking about?” You attempted to feign ignorance, but it was clear the two didn’t buy it. The three of you were very close growing up, they witnessed how you and Jeonghan were, and still knew you better than you realized.
“Either one of three things is going on here. You two either have nothing to talk about, and it’s awkward as shit…” Minnie responded, placing the cigarette to her lips and lit it.
“Which is impossible with you two,” Eunji chimed in, taking the lighter from Minnie to light her own. “No matter how many years have passed.”
“You got into a stupid fight over something like the color of his socks, or…” Minnie walked closer, holding the cigarette out enough so the smoke wasn’t hitting your face, taking in how you crossed your arms and looked away. Leaning in, it felt like the last one was more of a secret, “Something happened between the two of you…”
“And you were the one to freak out.” Eunji finished for her, “And now it’s awkward.”
“Why would it be me?”
“Because it’s always you.” Vernon’s voice popped up behind you, causing the three of you to jump. He casually walks past you to Eunji, taking his cigarette in the process to take a drag, “I had a feeling they were doing that weird best friend gang up thing.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” You answer, feeling your cheeks starting to burn.
“They kissed,” Vernon took another long drag of the nicotine stick, causing your jaw to drop opened, “Jeonghan told us in there.”
“Of course he did,” You muttered, watching the way Eunji and Minnie were ready to start jumping for joy.
“Finally?!” Eunji asked with excitement, but from the look on Vernon’s face, as well as yours, that Jeonghan didn’t stop there. Flicking the ash off the cigarette, the younger man took one more drag before handing it back to his fiancé.
“And that you freaked out and ran.”
“I didn’t run, I didn’t even leave the house.” You tried to defend yourself while your two friends excitement started to deflate.
“No, but you locked yourself in your room.” It was times like this that Vernon made you wonder how easy it was to get away with murder. Eunji will be able to find love again, she can move on, and you could disappear. Change your name, live in a small cottage in the middle of nowhere.
“Ugh,” Eunji let out a groan, dropping her head back and shoulders down in frustration. While Minnie could only stare at you, gaze unreadable as she pressed her cigarette to her lips, with one arm crossed her midsection.
“What?” You asked, your own frustration started to bubble over as it slowly started to occur to you that your friends knew something that you didn’t know. Something that Jeonghan clearly was aware of, but not you. Something about you and him. “I kissed him, yes. We were wrestling and it just happened, but it shouldn’t have. It just made things awkward and could just ruin our friendship.” You didn’t mention how much you wanted to do it again but couldn’t risk losing him for good. “What is with this ‘finally’ shit, anyways? Like shouldn’t you guys be worried that this could ruin our already fragile friendship.”
There was a silence as the three looked at each other. Like it dawned on them that you really didn’t know.
“You really don’t know?” It was Minnie who asked, taking another long drag as she moved her gaze to you again, followed by the couple behind her.
“Know what Min?” You sighed, dropping your arms to your sides, but there was something deep in you that told you that you already knew. Something that was sitting inside you for years, and you refused to acknowledge it, because it was easier than to face it.
There was a beat of silence between the four of them, with Eunji focused on her cigarette, Minnie watching you with an almost pitied look, and Vernon pushing his tongue into his cheek. Each of them waiting for the other to either come out with it, or for it to finally dawn on you. For you to finally see it.
“That he’s in love with you…” It was Vernon who said it, since neither of the girls spoke up, then his attention went to Minnie, “You think I can get my own smoke?”
You stood there in absolute silence while a pack of cigarettes exchanged hands, staring at your friends. It wasn’t that you had needed to process this, it wasn’t that at all. Instead, the words reached into your chest, into your heart and pulled out something you already known. Something he was trying to tell you, that he’s been trying to tell you.
“You guys are insane,” You finally spoke, looking away from them, pulling your cardigan around you when a cool breeze hit. “Jeonghan loves me, but he’s not in love with me.”
“Are you saying that to convince us, or convince yourself?” Minnie then asked, taking the pack back, her voice soft and understanding. You didn’t answer, still not looking at her, Vernon or Eunji, not trusting yourself to. “Did Jeonghan tell you what his parents condition was when they helped him buy that house?”
“No…” You had asked Jeonghan at least twice what this condition was, but he wouldn’t answer and would change the subject. Instead of pushing though, you just let him change it, so you didn’t have to actually hear it.
“The condition was that he settle downs like the rest of us,” She continued, and you could feel your mouth go dry, make your stomach churn uncomfortably. Unsure if it was from the alcohol, hearing all this, or both, “Or he would have to pay them back every penny.”
This made you look up to see her smiling at you, with it being as soft as her voice. Minnie flicked the ash off the near finished cigarette, your friends letting you take in what you were being told.
“What does that have to do with me, though?” You asked, feeling like you already knew the answer without it having to be said.
“Because.” Dropping the cigarette onto the ground, the taller woman hooked your arm with hers to walk back to the bar. Leaving Vernon and Eunji to finish their own smokes, “For him, the condition wasn’t just anyone, because to him, it only would be you.”
You’d barely made it back into the bar before Jeonghan had let out an overexaggerated yawn as he announced that he was going to order a ride home. This earned a chorus of groans from everyone, except for you. Your brain was already a buzz from the conversations outside, with the only thing you could do was stare at him. The bill of his hat pulled low, with it and his hair falling over his eyes. There was a deep frown playing over his lips, and body language reading that he no longer wanted to be there.
“You staying?” He asked you, making you blink out of your thoughts, already having his phone out to get a ride ordered. Several pairs of eyes turn to you, waiting for your response. Minnie had found her place back next to Seungcheol, leaning into her boyfriend, watching you with a knowing gaze.
Telling you to go with him.
“Nah, I’m getting tired myself.” You answered, letting out a chuckle, “I honestly am surprised I managed as long as I have. I’ve traded a night out at the bar with a bottle of wine at home, and most times in bed.”
Jeonghan nodded, already having the ride ordered, and the group advanced on you. Hugging you tightly, telling you to keep in touch, and to visit more often. With Minnie hugging you a little longer than everyone.
“Call me tomorrow, okay?” She whispered in your ear, “If you don’t plan to return his feelings, then let him down gently.”
Neither of you said anything on the ride back to Jeonghan’s, but this time the silence felt different. It wasn’t tense like it was on the way to the bar, it had shifted after being out for a few hours to something that you had a hard time describing. His tired silence, leaning back in the seat with his eyes out the window, watching everything pass by. One hand resting against his head while the other rested between you both.
Beckoning you to take it.
Except you didn’t, with your own gaze looking out the car window as well. Vernon and Minnie’s words heavy in your head.
“He’s in love with you.”
“…because to him, it only would be you.”
“If you don’t plan to return his feelings, then let him down gently.”
They left you with one of two choices by doing this. Finally face what was always between you and talk to Jeonghan, or you run away again. Get the earliest flight you can and leave before Jeonghan could wake up. Continue to run away. Destroy a lifelong friendship, one that you were meant to reconnect during your stay, because you were the coward.
You needed to make a choice. You needed to make one then.
“I’m going to head to bed, I am pretty tired,” Jeonghan announced once back, making sure the door was locked behind you before flicking his gaze to you. Taking you in, while he forced a smile to his lips and another beat of silence followed.
He was waiting for you to say something, anything. It was your chance, you either faced it or you ran away, but words failed you. They failed you in a way that never happened before with him, and it scared you.
“Goodnight, bug.” He whispered finally turning toward his room, nodding his head like he received his answer again. An answer to a question or a confession that he never said out loud.
It suddenly infuriated you.
“Are you in love with me?” You blurted out, causing Jeonghan to stop only a few steps away, watching the way his back straightened at the question. The accusation.
“Yes, I am.” He answered without hesitation, turning to look at you. That forced smile turning into a sardonic smirk when your eyes widened at how easy it was for him to say it, “I am in love with you.”
“For how long?”
“Does it matter?” The question as simple.
“Yes…no…just tell me.” You let out a frustrated sigh, shoulders dropping as you do.
“I’ve loved you since we were children, even when you would pull my hair,” He let out a chuckle, crossing his arms, “But realized I was in love with you when I had to watch you board that plane for school.”
“And why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it was easier to watch you go not knowing than if you did.” Jeonghan’s voice was low, the words stripping everything away that he hid behind, letting you see the raw side of him. And he still held eye contact with you.
“And the condition with your parents…”
“I had no intention fulfilling it if it wasn’t going to be you.” You noticed that he had started to close the distance that as originally there, pulling off his cap in the process so you could see his face better. Looking at you in a way he never had before, or that you noticed.
“Why?”
“Because no matter how I pictured my future, when it came to who I would spend my life with…” Jeonghan was now in front of you, close enough that you could feel his breath against your face. His hand ghosting over your cheek. You couldn’t move, you didn’t want to move, you were scared to move, “It’s always you. It’s always been you.”
“Jeonghan…” His name came out in a whisper, tears starting to fall down your cheek and that was when you felt the coolness of his hand cupping your cheek. His thumb wiping away a few away. “You’re an asshole.”
A soft laugh left him, dropping his hand and taking a step back. Taking your comment as a rejection, but it wasn’t. It was far from it. You finally found a name to what that missing piece was when it came to Jeonghan. Your best friend, the boy who would be waiting for you in that run down shed every day, the teen who would get in trouble with you, the young man who let you go even though there was an ache in both your chests, and the man standing before you.
All these versions of him were one thing to you. Your Jeonghan.
“You’re an asshole for not telling me sooner…” You pouted, grabbing the sleeves of his shirt to stop him, refusing to look away from him. His stupid, assholish, beautiful face.
“Yeah?” Jeonghan countered back, inching closer to you, his eyes flicking to your mouth.
“Yeah.”
He then kissed you, heated and hungry, like something inside him snapped; unable to hold back any longer. He had a taste of you earlier, and now that he had you again, he couldn’t keep pretending. You returned the kiss with a fever, gripping at the sleeves of his shirt because if you didn’t, he’d disappear.
His hand finding their place at your hips, squeezing them when you deepened the kiss, greedy to taste him again like you had earlier. This time with the notes of beer still lingering, but you were sure you were just the same. Releasing the sleeves of his shirt, you traced them over your shoulders and up his neck, earning a low groan from him when you gripped at the soft strands of his hair.
Hearing this sound sent a wave of heat down your belly, right to your core, your thighs squeezing slightly and enough for Jeonghan to notice. Making him pull away from your lips, reluctantly since he attempted to dive back in to reclaim them, only to stop himself.
“You’ll need to stop me now, because I have no intentions on it.” He said softly, willing to step away if you didn’t want to. You laugh pushing him toward his bedroom, tripping over each other and pulling off clothes in the process. With your bra and top gone before you made it through his bedroom door.
His shirt following quickly after, giving way to a lean frame with smooth undefined muscles, but you could feel them under your touch. Your cargos off next, leaving you in a pair of grey lace underwear, and Jeonghan had twisted you so the he was the one guiding you to his bed. His mouth claiming yours right as you felt his bed hit the back of your knees, making you drop down onto it.
Looking up to see Jeonghan standing before you, his eyes roaming from your own down your body before returning to them. His expression one of disbelief, like he couldn’t believe you were on his bed, half naked. And just for him.
“Hanni…” Anything you had to say was stopped by his kiss, more heated than any of the others you had shared.
Your hands and mouths touching and kissing anywhere and everywhere you could. His mouth teasing your breasts, sucking at the hardened peaks, while your hands ran over his body. Feeling his hardened cock over his pants before they too were gone. Followed by his boxers, and then your underwear.
“Fuck…your mouth is heaven,” He moaned out when you took his cock into your mouth, swallowing him down your throat eagerly, savoring the taste of him. With a few expert movements, Jeonghan had to pull back to stop from cumming down your throat and ending it all too soon. “We are going to have to revisit this later.”
“But…” Your words were swallowed up by his kiss, tongue claiming yours, pushing your back against the bed, his hips pushing your legs apart. Moaning at the feeling of his saliva slicked cock pressing against your own soaked cunt, rolling your hips up against his. Needing more of him.
When you felt two fingers tweak at one of your nipples, you roll him onto his back, straddling him. Grinding down onto him while one of your hands slip between you to grip his cock. With a gentle squeeze, Jeonghan broke from the kiss to drop his head back with a groan, moving both hands to your hips. The head of his cock catching at your entrance, making you both gasp.
Then you sank down onto him, a silent cry leaving you while Jeonghan’s eyes rolled at the way he stretched your gripping walls, until you were completely onto him. Only you didn’t stay there long, not giving either of you the chance to adjust before you were moving. Planting your hands onto the bed, you lift your hips off him, leaving only the head of his cock in you before dropping down.
Jeonghan’s hands gripped onto your hips, his eyes glazed over from arousal and the sight of you. Seeing parts of you that he only imagined, your bare breasts bouncing with each movement of your hips, your mouth falling open in pleasure, right down to where your two were now connected. The feeling of your walls squeezing and gripping at him was better than any late night thoughts could compare.
He knew he wasn’t going to last long, but he also didn’t want this to ever end. There was no way he could ever go back after this, he wouldn’t be able to go back to anything with you that didn’t involve this. Didn’t involve you being his.
“Jeonghan…” You whimpered, grinding down onto him to get more friction, feeling yourself winding tighter. The knot deep in your core threatening to snap. Then one of his hands slide from your hip to between your legs, pushing his finger up to tease your clit. “I’m close…”
“Do it, baby. Don’t hold back.” He tried to play it cool with a smirk, but he was just as much of a whimpering mess like you are. Looking up at you like you were the only thing that ever mattered. You were the only thing that ever mattered to him.
“Shit, Shit…” You chanted, every muscle tightening as you came, “I love you, I love you.”
Then you were on your back, Jeonghan rolling you over without pulling out, taking over for you. Fucking into you with a vigor you never experienced from him.
“I love you…” He whispered into your mouth, cupping your face, his own release following quickly after. Neither of you moved, staying connected as you came down from your highs, with him now pulling back to look at you. Your well kissed lips, your hair a mess from running your fingers through it, and your still glazed over eyes. A scene that made him fall even more in love. “Please don’t leave… stay… I can’t let you go again.”
“Jeonghan…” You sigh, closing your eyes as you attempted to slip off him. Oversensitivity starting to take over, but he kept you there on top of him. “I have to though…” That was when you felt his hands loosen on your hips, and the look on his face nearly broke you, but still a small smile graced your lips, “I mean… If I plan to move back, I got to get everything in order…”
“No you don’t,” He pouted, and you leaned forward to kiss him. Soft, promising. “You can just start back over here… I am not letting you go.”
“Then I guess we need to buy you a plane ticket then.” You tease, brushing a strand of hair from his face. His stupid, assholish, beautiful face that you’ve loved for years. “Cause I do have to go back.”
“We’ll see about that,” He smirked, making you laugh. “I love you. Always you.”
Thank you so much for reading I seriously hope you all enjoyed this!
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SYNOPSIS. On the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and Wonwoo made a pact to lose your virginities together. Ten years later you're co-parenting your unexpected child while figuring out where you stand with each other.
PARING. Wonwoo x F!Reader
GENRE | TAGS. Smau, series, non idol!au, best friends (idiots) to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, slow burn, angst, pinning, fluff, humor/comedy.
WARNINGS. Mild jealousy, possessiveness, mention of past relationship (Joshua again), child abandonment, discussion of marriage, suggestive dialogue.
AN. Can you believe we made it out of this part alive with barely a scratch? Two more parts to go 😮💨
STATUS. On-going.
← PREVIOUS | SERIES MASTERLIST | TAGLIST
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# NAVIGATION | MAIN MASTERLIST | PERMANENT TAGLIST
Every ask & comment gives me life 💗 If you’re enjoying it, don’t forget to reblog, helps so much and gets the fic out there!!
SYNOPSIS. On the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and Wonwoo made a pact to lose your virginities together. Ten years later you're co-parenting your unexpected child while figuring out where you stand with each other.
PARING. Wonwoo x F!Reader
GENRE | TAGS. Smau, series, non idol!au, best friends (idiots) to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, slow burn, angst, pinning, fluff, humor/comedy.
A/N. Can I say with certainty that this is the most anticipated one?
STATUS. On-going.
SERIES MASTERLIST | TAGLIST
The apartment is too quiet. You realize it the moment you step out of what was once your shared bedroom with Joshua. The silence is suffocating in a way it’s never been before. Even though you turned the lights on hours ago, the place still feels dim, as if the walls already know something here is about to break.
Your suitcase sits near the door. It isn’t very big; most of your belongings are already gone with the moving truck, especially Hyunwon’s. What remains is only the handful of things you couldn’t bring yourself to leave behind.
You’ve been staring at it for the last twenty minutes. Your hands are ice cold, chest impossibly tight, and the engagement ring on your finger suddenly feels heavier than it ever has. You already cried enough that your eyes are swollen and your throat aches from trying to hold back more. You wipe your face again, even though no tears are falling right now.
Then, you hear the door unlock.
The sound is ordinary, a simple click and the turning of a handle, but your stomach violently twists. Joshua steps inside a second later. He pauses the moment he sees you. You can tell he rushed home; his hair is slightly out of place, and his coat is half-buttoned like he hadn’t bothered finishing before leaving the hospital.
His eyes scan the room before landing on you.
“Hey,” he says carefully, his voice too calm. “You sounded urgent on the phone.”
Joshua closes the door behind him, slowly. Only then does he notice your suitcase. His gaze lingers on it, and something in his expression shifts. A quiet, terrible understanding of what’s about to happen. When he looks back at you, there’s a tightness around his mouth.
“What’s going on?” he asks.
You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. Your throat closes up entirely, and suddenly the tears you’d been holding back start spilling over again. Joshua exhales softly, almost like he expected this. He walks a few steps closer, but he doesn’t reach for you.
“You’re crying,” he says gently.
“Shua…”
That’s all it takes.
“Okay.” Joshua exhales, slow and resigned. “Yeah. This is happening.”
You nod, wiping your face with shaking hands. “I’m sorry,” you whisper.
He stops in front of you. For a long moment, neither of you speaks, the silence is so heavy between you. And then, Joshua says quietly, “You’re leaving.”
It’s not a question.
You swallow hard. “Yes.” The word barely leaves your lips.
Joshua looks down for a second, his jaw tightening. When he looks back up, his eyes are already darker. “Why?”
The question is simple, but it carries the weight of your entire relationship. You press your lips together. “I didn’t want to do this like this,” you explain weakly. “I just… I didn’t know how else—”
“Why?” he repeats. His voice isn’t loud, but it’s firmer now. More demanding. In all the years you’ve been together, you’ve never seen this side of him.
You take a shaky breath. “Because it’s not fair to you.”
Joshua lets out a small, humorless laugh. “That’s not a reason.”
“It is,” you insist, voice cracking.
“No,” he says sharply. “It’s not.” Silence falls between you again. His eyes narrow slightly as he studies your face, searching for the crack in your armor. Then, he says it. “Is it Wonwoo?”
Your best friend’s name lands in the room like a dropped glass. You freeze, and Joshua’s gaze sharpens immediately.
“It is,” he mutters.
“No,” You say quickly, but even to your own ears, it doesn’t sound convincing.
His expression hardens. “Of course it is. You’re leaving me for him.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“But it’s what’s happening,” he snaps. “Fucking asshole.”
You shake your head, tears spilling faster now. “No. This isn’t—”
“Then explain it to me, Y/N,” he interrupts, his voice rising. “Because right now it looks exactly like that.”
You struggle to find the words, your chest feeling like it’s caving in. “I’m not leaving you for him,” you say finally. Joshua scoffs, crossing his arms. “I’m leaving because I shouldn’t have said yes in the first place.”
The words hang in the air. Joshua stares at you like you just slapped him. “What?”
“I tried,” you say softly. “I really did. I wanted it to work. I wanted to be the person you deserved.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means—” Your voice breaks. “It means it never felt right. Not the way it should.”
The silence that follows is yet again suffocating. You have nothing left to hide at this point, so even though the idea of hurting him hurts you, you need to do it. You need to make him try to understand, even if you know he won't now, one day he will.
Joshua laughs again, harsher this time. “So that’s it? You’re throwing away our engagement because it ‘didn’t feel right’?”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Is it? Because from where I’m standing,” he says bitterly, his eyes flashing, “it looks pretty simple. You had one conversation with Wonwoo again, and suddenly you remember you’re still in love with him. You think I didn’t notice? He’s always been there. Even when you said he wasn’t.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No,” you say, swiping at your face. “Because this isn’t just about him.”
Joshua lets out a short, incredulous laugh. “You’re literally breaking up with me because you love him more.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Your hands tremble. “Joshua, please listen to me.”
“I am listening,” he says. “And what I’m hearing is that everything we built together apparently meant nothing. You were going to marry me. You said yes. And now you’re just walking away?”
Tears blur your vision again. “I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“No,” Joshua says harshly, his chest rising and falling with a shaky breath. “You’re letting him ruin this.”
“Wonwoo didn’t ruin anything! He didn’t ask for this.”
“But he’s the reason, isn’t he?”
You look at him helplessly. “He’s the reason I realized the truth. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
He drags a hand through his hair, pacing a few steps away before turning back to you. “He’s going to break your heart,” Joshua says suddenly. The words are sharp, edged with something bitter, like he wants to hurt you the way you’re hurting him. You can’t even blame him for it.
You frown, shaking your head. “You don’t know that.”
“I do. Because he always does. He left you once already, didn’t he?”
Your chest tightens defensively. “That’s different.”
Joshua shakes his head. “You’re making a mistake, Y/N.”
“Maybe,” you whisper, squeezing your eyes shut for a moment before forcing them open again. “But it’s my mistake to make.”
The words make Joshua flinch. For a moment, the fight drains out of the room. Then your expression changes, settling into something firmer, more resolved. It isn’t fair that this conversation has been reduced to a single thing when you both know there’s so much more behind it.
“You know what? You don’t get to put all the blame on him.”
Joshua frowns. “I’m not—”
“Yes, you are,” you cut in. Your voice trembles, but you keep going. “This wasn’t perfect between us either.”
Joshua stares at you in disbelief. “Now you’re rewriting history?”
“I’m telling the truth. You know it’s true.”
“Like what?”
You hesitate, but the dam has already broken. You’ve been keeping this inside for too long. Maybe it was wrong to hold it in for so long, but sooner or later it was bound to spill over. And that moment has to be now.
“Your mother.”
Joshua’s entire body stiffens. “That’s low,” he says coldly.
“It’s not low, it’s real,” you reply. “You always stayed silent about the things she did, even when she treated me like I didn’t belong in your world.”
“She never—”
“She did. And you know it.” Joshua’s silence says everything. Your voice softens again. “I never even asked you to stand up for me. I didn’t ask you to choose me over her. But you knew what was happening. You just had to decide what kind of partner you wanted to be.”
Your gaze drops to the floor.
“And you already made that choice.”
The words settle heavily between you. Joshua’s shoulders sag, and for the first time since he walked in, the anger drains from him. He looks like he might cry. “So that’s it?” he murmurs.
“My things and Hyunwon’s are packed and gone,” you say, barely above a whisper, gesturing down the hall. “I didn’t want to drag this out, so...”
“So you planned this,” he says, hurt, bleeding through. “You’ve been saying goodbye while standing next to me.”
“I’ve been trying to talk myself out of it,” you say, your chest tightening painfully. “Every single day. I really did love you.”
Joshua’s eyes flicker, a single tear running down his face. “Past tense.”
Multiple tears slide down your cheeks. “I did love you, Shua.”
“But?”
Your voice shakes. “But not the way you needed me to. And not enough.” Your heart breaks a little when you see the way his expression crumples. “I tried,” you whisper again.
“I know,” he says hoarsely.
For a long time, neither of you move. You just stand there, both crying now, two years of memories hanging suspended in the quiet apartment. Finally, Joshua rubs his face with both hands.
“I hate him,” he mutters.
You shake your head weakly. “Don’t. He didn’t take me from you.”
Joshua looks at you, his eyes red and exhausted. “You were never really mine to begin with.”
The quiet truth in his voice makes something in you break. You exhale slowly, giving a slight nod. “I guess not.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
You don’t answer. The truth is, you can’t. Instead, you step forward and pick up the suitcase, leaving the engagement ring resting on the table between you. Joshua watches you cross the room toward the door, his jaw tight, but he doesn’t reach for you.
You pause at the door, looking back one last time. Joshua’s gaze is fixed on the ring, his eyes distant, unfocused. “And I hope he’s worth it.”
# NAVIGATION | MAIN MASTERLIST | PERMANENT TAGLIST
Every ask & comment gives me life 💗 If you’re enjoying it, don’t forget to reblog, helps so much and gets the fic out there!!
SYNOPSIS. On the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and Wonwoo made a pact to lose your virginities together. Ten years later you're co-parenting your unexpected child while figuring out where you stand with each other.
PARING. Wonwoo x F!Reader
GENRE | TAGS. Smau, series, non idol!au, best friends (idiots) to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, slow burn, angst, pinning, fluff, humor/comedy.
WARNINGS. Very suggestive, everything else falls into normal slice of life themes, honestly.
AN. 1. If the group chat slides feel a little weird, it’s because i had to do them on my laptop since the app wasn’t working 😭 2. Also, congrats to whoever got it right!
STATUS. On-going.
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# NAVIGATION | MAIN MASTERLIST | PERMANENT TAGLIST
Every ask & comment gives me life 💗 If you’re enjoying it, don’t forget to reblog, helps so much and gets the fic out there!!
SYNOPSIS. On the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and Wonwoo made a pact to lose your virginities together. Ten years later you're co-parenting your unexpected child while figuring out where you stand with each other.
PARING. Wonwoo x F!Reader
GENRE | TAGS. Smau, series, non idol!au, best friends (idiots) to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, slow burn, angst, pinning, fluff, humor/comedy.
WARNINGS. Family conflict, arguments, confrontation, alcohol consumption, emotional love confession while intoxicated, cursing.
AN. From now on we’ll start wrapping up some arcs… don’t forget to tell me what you thought <3
STATUS. On-going.
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# NAVIGATION | MAIN MASTERLIST | PERMANENT TAGLIST
Every ask & comment gives me life 💗 If you’re enjoying it, don’t forget to reblog, helps so much and gets the fic out there!!
SYNOPSIS. On the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and Wonwoo made a pact to lose your virginities together. Ten years later you're co-parenting your unexpected child while figuring out where you stand with each other.
PARING. Wonwoo x F!Reader
GENRE | TAGS. Smau, series, non idol!au, best friends (idiots) to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, slow burn, angst, pinning, fluff, humor/comedy.
WARNINGS. Long-distance relationship struggles, family conflict, parental manipulation, stress related to work, parenting concerns, emotional conversations, some cursing.
AN. I’d say they’re fighting for their lives, but when are they not, honestly lol. As always, tell me your wonderful thoughts!!
STATUS. On-going.
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# NAVIGATION | MAIN MASTERLIST | PERMANENT TAGLIST
Every ask & comment gives me life 💗 If you’re enjoying it, don’t forget to reblog, helps so much and gets the fic out there!!
SYNOPSIS. On the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and Wonwoo made a pact to lose your virginities together. Ten years later you're co-parenting your unexpected child while figuring out where you stand with each other.
PARING. Wonwoo x F!Reader
GENRE | TAGS. Smau, series, non idol!au, best friends (idiots) to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, slow burn, angst, pinning, fluff, humor/comedy.
WARNINGS. Suggestive, pregnancy, teenage pregnancy, teen parents, explicit language.
A/N: (1) First and most important, it's a pregnancy related smau, so obviously topics that are prohibited for minors will be addressed, so I would feel more comfortable if minors didn't interact. (2) This smau will take place over the course of 10 years.
UPDATES. Every other monday, saturday and sunday.
STATUS. on-going.
TAGLIST
PART ONE (the first nine months)
PART TWO (the first year) ⤷ 001 002 003
PART THREE (the second year) ⤷ 001 002 003
PART FOUR (the third year) ⤷ 001 002 003 004 005
PART FIVE (the fourth year) ⤷ 001 002 003 004 005
PART SIX (the fifth year) ⤷ 001 002 003 004 005
PART SEVEN (the sixth year) ⤷ 001 002 003 004 005 006 007
PART EIGHT (the seventh year) ⤷ 001 002 003 004 005
this week raising us turns one year old and i genuinely can’t believe it’s still not finished (which is 100% my fault 😭). i won’t get ahead of myself with the speech i’ll probably make when it’s actually finished lmao, but for now i just want to say thank you to everyone who has been following the story and sending me your thoughts and reactions. i love reading them so much, and they truly motivates me to keep going.
but since it’s already been a year, and because i really want to finish it soon and stop making you all wait, this week, starting on sunday, i’m doing a MEGA update week for raising us. there will be updates every day throughout the week, and i’ll also be posting extras.
on march 11th (the official anniversary date lol) there will be two updates + one extra.
i’ll also take this opportunity to appreciate the 1k notes, which i hadn’t even noticed yet 😭 thank you all so much, truly <33
SYNOPSIS. On the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and Wonwoo made a pact to lose your virginities together. Ten years later you're co-parenting your unexpected child while figuring out where you stand with each other.
PARING. Wonwoo x F!Reader
GENRE | TAGS. Smau, series, non idol!au, best friends (idiots) to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, slow burn, angst, pinning, fluff, humor/comedy.
AN. 1. There was no update yesterday because the app I use to create the fake messages wasn’t working for some reason 😭 2. This time, it’s not about Y/N. 3. The next one has many surprises 😌
STATUS. On-going.
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# NAVIGATION | MAIN MASTERLIST | PERMANENT TAGLIST
Every ask & comment gives me life 💗 If you’re enjoying it, don’t forget to reblog, helps so much and gets the fic out there!!
summary: It’s not just Wonwoo, but everyone in his life who knows that he is the best driver for Aston Martin, and has been for years. This season is his first real chance to take the championship home. But everything goes terribly wrong when a race goes awry and he fractures his collarbone, and there is no one he hates more than the orthopedic surgeon who tells him he can’t race.
pairing: f1 driver!wonwoo x orthopedic surgeon!reader
word count: 9.7k
warnings: f1 au, swearing, some angst, descriptions of injuries and fractures, medical procedures. wonwoo is a bit of an asshole, realisation of feelings, smut, nsfw, multiple orgasms, riding, dirty talk, fluff.
a/n: i think this is my first time writing a stand alone oneshot for wonwoo, and also my first time writing f1, so pls be nice to me 🙏🏼 this was written as a commission, and you can find details here. thank you to @supi-wupi, @orbitondgtl and @mylovesstuffs for beta reading for me, ily all so much xx
Wonwoo thinks he is very level headed. In fact, he prides himself for it. He credits his success to it; being calculating, grounded, and strategic. There’s no room for emotion in his sport, and he makes sure that there never will be. Every variable is weighed, every hypothetical solved in his head or in race simulations. Nothing can catch him off guard. He’s got this shit on lock.
But even Wonwoo did not anticipate how badly today would go.
It’s a critical race weekend. This last season has been astronomical for him and his career, and winning today is important for his future. He can take the championship, he knows this. Years of work have come to a head this season. It’s more or less his game to lose, so no one in his team risks anything. While the weather was a factor on the circuit, it’s been carefully accounted for. Everything is set, everything is adjusted.
It’s the nature of his job that the slightest alteration can have such disastrous consequences.
He doesn’t even register how quick it all happens. The tires scream as he shoots into Turn 5, barely a centimeter from the car beside him. Rain has left the tarmac slick, and spray blurs the view of the apex. His hands grip the wheel, muscles screaming against the steering forces.
Suddenly, a flash of red on the inside, likely the Ferrari that has been on his heels for a while, trying to overtake on the inside line. It loses control. The car spins violently, clips the barrier, and bounces back across the track. There is nowhere to go. Instinct takes over Wonwoo in that instant. He jerks left, but the slippery surface betrays him.
His Aston Martin hits the outside barrier shoulder-first, the impact crushing his left side against the carbon fiber cockpit. The world tilts; G-force slamming into his chest and shoulder like a battering ram. Pain shoots through his left collarbone, sharp and immediate.
The car skids along the barrier for a few meters before stopping. Smoke and sparks rise, and the tires hiss against wet asphalt. Wonwoo sits frozen for a moment, his good hand balled into a fist, the other dangling awkwardly to the side, shoulder numb but throbbing.
His mind is stationary with shock.
FIA marshals are on him within seconds. The medical car screeches to a halt behind the crash, doors opening like a scene from a film. Trackside doctors arrive, quick hands checking for consciousness, pulse, and the obvious deformity of the shoulder. Wonwoo doesn’t feel any of it. He’s still in the race in his head, focus somehow unbroken. He barely registers the hands, the noise all around him deepening and slowing like he’s hearing it through a bad speaker.
“Clavicle,” one of them mutters under their breath. There’s some tugging and pushing, and they carefully immobilize his arm with a sling and brace, instructing him not to move. Wonwoo doesn’t think he can, even if he tries. The reality is sinking in, and the pain is so sharp, radiating down his arm with every heartbeat. The adrenaline keeps him upright, alert, but that means he is quickly absorbing the gravity of the situation.
His race is over. He’s done.
He doesn’t know how long it takes for him to be lifted onto a stretcher and guided into the medical car. He is half aware that his eyes are open, and he can register touch, but everything else feels like it’s far away. It’s a while later that he fully feels like he’s in his own body again. He’s at the circuit medical center, laying on a stiff, cold surface with a large machine hovering over him. In the quiet of the space, his head mutes a bit more, and Wonwoo can finally look at his surroundings to truly comprehend what is happening. Seungkwan, his physical therapist, is standing over a console in the next room, staring intently at a computer screen with someone who looks like an X-ray technician, his arms crossed. There’s a crease between his eyebrows, one he gets very rarely, only when he is really, truly worried. A new feeling sinks into Wonwoo’s chest then, a crushing, unbearable dread.
It’s a bit of a blur when Seungkwan comes to him with the news. His clavicle is fractured. Badly. In multiple places. His first thought is: no wonder. It hurts so bad, it couldn’t have been something minor. And his second thought is: when can he be back in a car again?
Seungkwan’s face gets sympathetic when he echoes the sentence out loud. Wonwoo doesn’t like that look.
“I’m not saying anything.” Seungkwan’s tone is somber. “I don’t want to give or take any hope right now. I’ve sent your X-rays to an orthopedic surgeon the team has on contract. She’s the one who can make a correct estimate.”
Wonwoo nods, but the movement itself makes tiny tendrils of pain shoot down his neck. Seungkwan is right. Speculation won’t help. Wonwoo needs the facts. Numbers don’t lie, they never have. So he sits there, trying to keep his mind as still as possible, to somehow suspend his reality until he knows for sure.
Jeon Wonwoo, the man who runs hypotheticals, cannot do that exact thing right now. He can’t, because anything other than him not missing even a single race will be a nightmare he doesn’t even want to think about.
Seungkwan has an answer in less than ten minutes. He will need surgery. No racing for at least four to six weeks.
His world comes crashing down.
He doesn’t believe it at first, staring blankly at Seungkwan. The man shifts a little uncomfortably in the long silence, but doesn’t really say more. Not that anything he says would make any of this feel better. Instead, Wonwoo stretches out his uninjured arm, holding his hand out for the phone in Seungkwan’s grip.
“Let me talk to her.”
Seungkwan blinks, surprised. “The surgeon?”
Wonwoo nods. His physio hesitates.
“Look, you’re going to see her at her clinic anyway. We’re preparing transport right now-”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Wonwoo’s teeth grit. “The race-”
“It’s not your race anymore.” Seungkwan’s tone is firm. “Plus, your surgeon gave us strict instructions that you don’t move much until she’s had a look herself.”
Anger swells inside Wonwoo’s chest. Irrational, seething anger. He wants to yell at Seungkwan, at this invisible surgeon who is essentially killing his career. There’s no way he’s going to take this laying down, no way he’s not going to fight for his life. He’s worked too hard, he’s sacrificed too much to be where he is. All of it can’t be for nothing.
It can’t end. Not like this.
…………………………………
The caveat that comes with working in Orthopedics is that long term injuries will leave patients feeling some type of way. And as the person usually delivering that news, you are at the receiving end of their frustrations.
It’s a natural response, so you’re not too bothered by it. You’ve dealt with it for years, through your entire residency and the process of establishing your own practice as well. Any kind of fracture or ligament tear that needs long term care is not exactly good news, and people aren’t very keen on them, especially those whose jobs are affected by these injuries. The absolute worst of these cases are, without a doubt, athletes.
When you get soft copies of X-rays sent to your email for a Formula 1 driver and you immediately spot a displaced clavicle fracture, you wince. You already know this isn’t going to go well. From previous experience, you know this will cost him at least two or three races. You’re not sure exactly how many, since you’re not very up-to-date with the schedules. You’re not directly involved with the drivers, since their core medical team usually takes care of any health issues. You’re too high up the chain for minor problems. But this? This is definitely in your wheelhouse.
You’re closely in contact with Seungkwan, Aston Martin’s physical therapist, as well as their Sports Medicine Physician. You discuss your patient’s status while they get him ready for transport. As you wait for him to arrive at your clinic, you have your team on standby, briefing them about your incoming patient. Chan gasps when you tell him who is on the way, and that makes you raise an eyebrow.
“Jeon Wonwoo…” He trails off. “Oh man. He was going to take Aston Martin all the way in this championship. This is bad. He’s going to be pissed.”
You give the nurse a weird look. “Okay. Well. We are in for an unpleasant few weeks then-”
“Unpleasant?” Chan visibly shivers. “It’s going to be a nightmare.”
You roll your eyes. Athletes really are always like this. Though you can’t fault them for the reactions: this is their career, their whole life on the line. Anyone would be agitated. You’re a professional. You can deal with it.
Nothing could’ve prepared you for how venomous this guy would be, though.
The first thing you notice about him when he arrives with a nurse and a medical assistant is that he is unbearably stiff, from the stony expression all the way to the ends of his limbs. You look at the X-ray films again and advise a CT scan for more details. While your team preps, you try to assess his arm as much as you can. He sits on the examination couch and stares blankly at the opposite wall as you gently maneuver the arm attached to his injured collarbone. He’s silent all throughout it as you work his shoulder, not even flinching at the movements when you press down on his skin. The room is silent as you work, the heavy kind that leaves the air awkward. You let him sit in it, trying to make it as quick as possible. He needs this space. When you step away, he finally utters his first words.
“So?” He says. “How long?”
His tone is clipped. You are unbothered. “While it depends on how the surgery goes, I can estimate almost six weeks.”
He scoffs, and you see his jaw tick. “Is surgery necessary?”
You blink. “Well, yes. It’s a fracture.”
“But some fractures don’t need surgery, do they? I read somewhere that-”
“Yours is not that kind of fracture.” You cut him off immediately. Great. He’s the kind who googles stuff. God, Chan was right. This won’t be easy. This guy is in denial about even needing surgery. Usually the denial starts with how long the healing time will be, not this.
He scowls. “But there has to be a way-”
“There isn’t.”
His eyes narrow into sharp daggers. You know your interruptions are ticking him off, and he’s not used to them, but you need to nip this in the bud. Any hesitation means he will look for alternatives, and that will delay his surgery, making it more difficult in the long run. While you can see how his cold stare might intimidate someone else, you are unfazed. You’ve met too many people like him.
“Figure it out.” He spits. “I can’t miss another race. I already missed today-”
“Listen to me.” You cut him off again, holding a hand up. You look him straight in the eye, not backing down. “I will do the best I can for you within my capacity. I gave you my professional opinion. If you don’t trust it, you’re more than welcome to ask another orthopedic surgeon. I’m telling you right now though, it will be the exact same answer. The rest is up to you.”
This is the best way to deal with situations like these. All this anger, this denial, is coming from the very emotional state of having his career in jeopardy for something that wasn’t his fault. He needs to feel some semblance of control in a situation that gives him none, and making the choice of his own surgeon gives him that control, even if it’s just to placate his mind. You watch a million shadows pass over his eyes as he contemplates. You notice the sweat built up on his temple, the slightly increased pulse on his heart monitor. He’s in pain, even if he isn’t showing it.
Finally, he nods, albeit stiffly. You move then, pulling open your exam room door to poke your head out and call for Chan to bring the meds your patient requires. When you go back in, Wonwoo is lost in thought again, face just as blank as before. He truly gives nothing away in moments like these, even to someone who reads people as well as you do, and something like curiosity unfurls in your stomach.
Who exactly is this guy?
Your clinic is not far from where you live, and later that night, when you’re back home after settling everything with Wonwoo and giving full instructions to prep him for surgery the next day, you can’t help but give in to your inquisitive nature. With dinner half devoured on the bed next to you, you pull your laptop closer and look up your newest patient on the internet.
Jeon Wonwoo is wildly popular.
He’s been racing for a good while now with Aston Martin, and they've really put their faith in him. This year was shaping up to be his best one yet, until he got gravely injured in the recent race. It’s all over the news, the shock of the season, article after article speculating how bad his condition is, how long he will be out of the races, and how that will affect his points. There are talks of a reserve driver taking over for the time he won’t be there, someone he apparently has a long standing rivalry with. You end up on the depths of YouTube, watching an interview from years ago where both Wonwoo and this other guy, Soonyoung, are present, and even someone completely oblivious to social cues can see how cold the air is between them, as well as the little quips they make. They clearly don’t like each other.
Does Wonwoo know Soonyoung is taking his place? Maybe that adds to his agitation as well.
You’re left to ponder as you stare off into the distance, wondering what is going on in his head. This entire situation is high tension, potentially career altering. While you’ve dealt with a few cases like this, none of it is of this magnitude. Jeon Wonwoo is changing the course of Aston Martin’s history in Formula 1. That has to be a lot of pressure. Is that it? He feels responsible for everyone who depends on him? Is that why he reacted so badly to the thought of needing surgery?
You shut your laptop and rub your eyes. You will treat him with extra caution then. And Chan obviously knows the gravity of the situation. He can deal with it better than you in this case, so you will leave what you can to him. After surgery, Seungkwan is going to take over for the rehab, so that won’t be your problem. The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. You need to get some sleep.
When you close your own eyes and lie down, you remember the stoney, chilly intensity of his. It makes you shiver. You fall asleep quickly.
………………………….
Wonwoo feels a little like he’s cut off from the world, and the only connection he still has to what everyone is saying is through Joshua. Which isn’t good, because Joshua always sugarcoats everything for him. It works usually, because Wonwoo knows he comes off as crass and cold, so a publicist like Joshua who can soften his image is a smart decision. But in moments like these, when he needs to know what the hell is happening after his shocking injury, Joshua isn’t exactly giving him the hard facts.
“It doesn’t matter.” The man insists from where he sits on the chair next to Wonwoo’s bed. “You need to focus on preparing for your surgery. We can talk all about it later.”
“I don’t have to do shit.” Wonwoo retorts. “That’s their job.”
He jerks his head to the nurse standing bedside, drawing blood from his arm. He’s a young guy, and he blinks rapidly as both men turn to him. Wonwoo can see his ears darken to pink. He just gives both of them a sheepish smile.
“Everything will be ready soon.” He chirps. “Just some tests to check your general anaesthesia fitness. We will have you in surgery by tomorrow morning.”
“I would like to have a word with his surgeon.” Joshua says, making Wonwoo scoff loudly. His publicist looks at him questioningly. He just shakes his head in return.
He’s not going to badmouth a surgeon in front of his nurse. Wonwoo knows he’s an asshole, but he respects professional boundaries.
When the nurse leaves though, Wonwoo goes on a tirade. He tells Joshua that you’re rude and strict. That you didn’t hear him out and instead just essentially told him to leave if he wasn’t okay with your treatment plan. You didn’t use those exact words, of course, but your meaning was clear. Joshua listens silently as Wonwoo rants, and his lips tick up in a smirk the longer Wonwoo goes on. It makes the driver pause, and he glares at his publicist.
“What?” He snaps.
Joshua shakes his head. “Oh, nothing. Just wondering about this surgeon. Rude, kind of pissy and strict, doesn’t play about her profession and doesn’t take bullshit from anyone about her skill…” He levels Wonwoo with a pointed look. “Sounds like someone else I know.”
Wonwoo can feel the back of his neck burn. “I’m nothing like her.”
Joshua snorts and stands up, holding his laptop close to his chest. “Sure.”
He says a quick goodbye to Wonwoo, promising he will be here in the morning before his surgery. Wonwoo still feels like he’s on edge, rolling his eyes at Joshua’s ridiculous words. He’s not like you. He knows the stereotype of arrogant surgeons, and you fit it to a T. Wonwoo is an asshole, he knows that, but he has good reason to be. Being an asshole, being calculating and harsh, makes him incredible at what he does because it keeps him sharp.
But Joshua’s words don’t leave him. And Wonwoo wonders if being firm and crass makes you good at what you do, too. Was it your absolute unmoving belief in your judgement that made Wonwoo stay and agree to a surgery he would otherwise never consent to? Were you the reason?
All this conclusion does is make him even more irritable. He came here to give you a piece of his mind and to resist this surgery. But instead, he’s lying in a patient bed, hooked to machines, being prepared for the exact surgery he didn’t want. All because, for some reason, he trusts you.
His sleep is restless. He can’t toss and turn, since his shoulder is basically tied and held in place. So he’s stuck on his back, staring up at the grey ceiling. The monitors beep regularly, letting him in on the pace of his own heartbeat. Wonwoo lies there. And he thinks.
Ever since he was a kid who got obsessed with racing, Wonwoo has known what he wanted to do with himself. The trajectory his life took was a no-brainer for him and for anyone who knew him. It wasn’t just an obsession, it was a life purpose. Wonwoo lived and breathed racing. This championship, a build up of years of work, was supposed to be the summit of his life’s work. He had been laser focused on this for as long as he knew what it was. There was nothing else, no relationship, no personal commitment, that could get in the way of this. That’s what all his exes’ biggest problem always was. That he didn’t make ‘time’ for them. But if any of them knew him, they would know this was his number one priority and always would be.
He got so close. He almost had his fingertips on that trophy. He could taste the victory. He was in peak physical condition, all his race simulations were seamless. The first few wins of the season felt like they were his birthright. But now….
Wonwoo stares at a grey ceiling, and the heart monitor mutedly beeps on.
………………….
He’s more tame today. That’s the first thing you notice.
You go to see him in his room first thing next morning. He isn’t alone. There’s a man next to him on his laptop, muttering on and on about some media jargon you don’t understand. He stands up when you come in, and you give him a tight smile.
“Joshua Hong.” He offers his hand. You shake it. “I’m his publicist. Is there any way I can get a statement from you?”
You blink, immediately shaking your head. “I’m sorry. I’ve sent complete updates to his medical team at Aston Martin. Any public statement comes from them, not from me.”
You don’t know why, but that catches him off guard. You ignore him and step aside to look at your patient.
“How are you doing?” Your voice is light and cheerful, your typical patient interaction tone. “Any pain?”
Wonwoo shakes his head. “Probably the painkillers.”
You nod and skim over Wonwoo’s chart. Chan’s neat handwriting lays it all out. “Everything looks good. The OR is ready. We will have you shifted as soon as the anesthetist gives his good-to-go.”
He nods silently, a sharp contrast to the resistance he put up yesterday. You eye him carefully. “Do you have any questions?”
He shakes his head. You don’t question him further, but you make note of your unease in your head. He keeps confusing you. You don’t know what to do with him. You need to recommend counseling for him after this.
All thoughts are pushed out of your head when the anesthetist arrives and the team springs into action. You scrub in, layer after layer of sterilized equipment being put on you. When you enter the OR, Wonwoo is already there, lying down on the table and draped, his arms pulled out to the sides, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. OR assistants and technicians mill around, bustling to get everything ready. It’s slightly noisy, with machines beeping and people moving next to him. You glance at his heart monitor. 122. Higher, but not high enough to be a concern. He’s clearly nervous.
You go to stand by his head while the anesthetist preps to put him under.
“Hey.” you mumble from underneath your mask. His eyes shoot to you. “It’s me.”
You can see the relief on his face from your familiar voice. You feel sympathy curl in your chest. He’s probably questioning everything right now, how new and daunting all this is, and even the reality of him returning to the circuit like he used to after everything that will happen to him today.
“Just relax.” You manage to say. “I’ve got you.”
There’s really not much else you can say without crossing a professional boundary. He looks at you for a long moment, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on you while everything around him shifts and moves, and for the first time since you’ve met him, you think you are seeing Wonwoo truly, without all his thorns and needles, and just him, all his uncertainty, his vulnerability, on the line.
“Ready? Count down from one hundred.”
His eyes fall shut before he hits ninety six.
The advantage of surgeries on athletes is that they are in prime physical condition, nearly textbook, so the chances of something going wrong are minimal. Your own experience means you predict every single step on Wonwoo’s surgery before you even do it. His vitals look great, his muscles respond to push and pull the way you expect them to, he bleeds minimally, and the bone is fixed with the least effort required. The screws slide in like second nature. You’re closing him up in record time. Your OR team is relaxed and not tense today as everything goes smoothly, and all goes well until the very last moment, when the anesthetist takes over again.
His publicist, Joshua, is waiting outside the doors of the OR. There’s another man there, tall and handsome, who you immediately recognise as Aston Martin’s other driver, Kim Mingyu.
“How’d it go?” Joshua sounds anxious, standing up when he spots you. You give him a placating smile.
“As well as could be expected.” You reply. “If rehab goes well, he should be back on the circuit in around 4 or 5 weeks. But-” You give Joshua a stern look. “Don’t quote me on that.”
He laughs. “Got it. Thank you so much. I don’t think anyone else could’ve done what you did.”
You pause at his words. “What do you mean?”
Joshua looks amused as he replies. “Wonwoo had no plans of getting the surgery. He came here to your clinic fully prepared to fight you on it. I was shocked when I heard he agreed to trust you with this. But also, not really, now that I’ve seen how you deal with patients.”
You can’t help but let out a light laugh at that, a little thrown off. “I don’t know what exactly you mean, but I will take your word for it.”
You excuse yourself from the men and return to your office. As you settle in, you can’t help but wonder. Was it true? Did Wonwoo agree because of you? You assumed he did it because he clearly didn’t have a choice. Objectively, he needed this surgery. But then you think again on what you know of him, and you realise someone as stubborn as him agreeing so quickly, being under the knife within 24 hours of getting the injury, was definitely not something anyone would expect of him. So maybe it did have to do with how firm you were and what you said.
You don’t know how to feel about that.
A knock on the door breaks you from your thoughts. Boo Seungkwan pokes his head in through the crack in the door and gives you a smile.
“Hey.” You greet him warmly. “Come in.”
Seungkwan, Wonwoo’s physical therapist, is someone you’ve known for a while now. You get along well with him. He’s good at his job, and he’s very friendly whenever you have a chance to meet. He makes for great conversation, and you genuinely enjoy his company.
“I read Wonwoo’s operation notes.” Seungkwan settles on the chair opposite to your desk. “Looks like everything went well.”
You nod and smile, and screw Seungkwan’s perceptive ass because he immediately raises an eyebrow.
“You okay?”
You sigh, contemplating. If anyone is going to understand, it’s someone in the same professional line as you. And Seungkwan is in charge of Wonwoo’s rehab. This pertains to him too.
“I just…. feel some type of way about him agreeing to this surgery because of me.”
Seungkwan frowns. “What do you mean?”
You sit up. “You and I know this was inevitable. He had to get the surgery no matter what, but he thought this was optional. He agreed to it because of me.”
Seungkwan doesn’t react. “So?”
You gawk at him. “What do you mean ‘so’? If something goes wrong, if his recovery is delayed, he’s going to blame me.”
That makes his face clear up. He lets out a small laugh. “Y/N, you need to give Wonwoo a bit more credit than that. He’s not an idiot. He knows what your part in this is. He put his trust in your skill because something you said or did got through to him. He has connected with you somehow, which I think is a miracle in itself for someone as closed off as him. But you’re not a miracle worker. He knows this.”
You contemplate silently. Seungkwan doesn’t say anything more. After a few minutes, he sighs and stands up.
“He should be out of Recovery by now. I’m gonna go see him.” Seungkwan smiles. “You should too. He’ll feel better if you’re there when he’s fully conscious again.”
Before Seungkwan turns to leave, he gives you one final look.
“Don’t think so much. And don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ve done everything right.”
You nod slowly, giving him a smile.
Wonwoo looks almost pliant as his bleary eyes blink slowly through whatever haze he is getting out of. He can’t move his neck, not yet, so he’s forced to stare up at the ceiling. You walk into the room a little while after his visitors leave, since you don’t want to crowd him. He can’t see you, so you lean over him to give him a tiny smile.
“Hey there.” You chirp. Wonwoo lets out a sound somewhere between a hum and a groan.
“How are you feeling? Any pain?”
You know there is none. He’s on a crazy amount of painkillers. But you have to ask anyway. Wonwoo shakes his uninjured arm to say no, since he can’t move his head.
“I’m sure Chan told you that everything went great with your surgery.” You say. “Smoothest surgery I’ve had in a while, in fact. If rehab goes well, you’ll be back in the car in no time.”
Wonwoo closes his eyes and lets out a breath. It’s shaky, and riddled with relief. He has shadows under his eyes, and his lips are chapped. Your heart squeezes.
“Thank you.” He mumbles. If the room wasn’t so silent, you wouldn’t have heard him. But you do. You smile and nod, patting his hand a little. It’s cold to touch, and you instinctively pull the blanket higher over him. Wonwoo watches you.
Your cheeks feel warm. You pull away.
“If there’s anything you need, just press the button, okay?”
You give him a second to respond. When he doesn’t, you step back, exiting the room quietly.
…………………………………
Wonwoo is naturally a quiet person, but something definitely shifts in him in the days he stays at your clinic after his surgery. While he is still quiet, it is void of the usual stiff and ticked off energy that surrounds him. You see him every morning and evening during rounds, checking in on his progress and asking him how he feels. He answers shortly, softly, but he never stops watching you. His eyes are sharp and intense, and they throw you off a little bit.
You check on his arm almost three times a day, paying special attention because of his circumstances. Everything looks fine, but he winces when you move it a certain way. It’s not surprising, but you hate it nonetheless.
“Sorry about that.” You always say, handling his arm and shoulder as gently as you can. He brushes it off.
“It’s okay.” His voice is raspy and low. You swallow tightly.
You want to blame his strange pliancy on the after effects of anesthesia for the first couple of days. Then you want to blame it on the drugs he’s on. After that, you’re really not quite sure what to name his behavior, so you just stop trying.
“I have good news.” You tell him five days after his surgery, when you go to see him during morning rounds. “I’m going to discharge you today.”
Wonwoo blinks from where he is propped up on pillows. His hair is a mess on his head, and he looks extra comfortable surrounded by pillows and sheets. You almost don’t recognise him as the man in the sharp green race suit you see on the videos from the circuit. You’re standing on the foot of his bed, leaning against the table where his papers are placed. “Really?”
You nod. “Really. Everything looks fantastic with your recovery. In fact, we’ve kept you here more days than we usually would, just to be safe, and you're cleared from our side now. The rest is going to be between you and Seungkwan as you pick up the pace on your rehab.”
Wonwoo nods, looking like he’s deep in thought. “I see.”
You watch him for a few seconds, waiting for him to say more. He doesn’t. That uneasy feeling hits you again.
“Hey.” You hesitate for a second. “I think it would be beneficial for you to speak to someone about everything that has happened. You know, athletes often don’t cope well with such a sudden circumstance, so having support in a time like this is-”
Wonwoo lets out a small laugh, the first time you've heard a sound like that from him. It makes you pause immediately.
“I understand where you’re coming from, but I’m fine.” He says. “I’ve just come to some realisations and….. it’s taking me a while to accept them.”
He keeps looking at you so intently. You feel your breath stutter just a little at the look in his eyes. You know you shouldn’t ask, but your curiosity gets the best of you. “What kind of realisations?”
He smiles again. Soft, like he’s accepting his reality. “I can’t tell you yet.”
Yet?
You don’t know what to say, so you just stay quiet. You let Wonwoo’s words linger like an unspoken promise, with its many implications. You fear if you vocalise them right now, they will break, and you don’t want to risk that.
You watch each other for a while, both of you silent.
……………………………………
Jeon Wonwoo is a very dedicated man.
You’ve seen leaps and bounds of improvement made by patients who do physiotherapy correctly, but even you are shocked by Wonwoo’s progress. You’re not directly involved after the first two weeks and Seungkwan fully takes over, but you get regular updates since Wonwoo still insists on you checking his shoulder at regular intervals.
He shows up at your clinic every Tuesday on the dot, looking and behaving light years softer than how he was when you first met him. He will sit on the examination table and tell you all about his physiotherapy sessions, how far he has gone and how it makes his shoulder and collarbone feel.
“This really isn’t necessary.” You always say when you examine him. You place your palm on his shoulder, just resting over his collarbone, and lift his arm up. It goes up smoothly. No clicks, no shifts, not even a wince on his face. “This is all Seungkwan. The amount of healing I had to do, I already did.”
“I know that. I just feel better if you know what’s going on and you take a look at it.”
He always says that. Always. With that look on his face you can’t quite place, his eyes trained on you as you work. Ever since Wonwoo got discharged, you’ve developed a habit of watching his videos online in your evenings. And never, in all your hours of watchtime, have you seen him give anyone this particular look.
It makes your heart race in a way you don’t really appreciate.
Seungkwan thinks it’s funny when you want him to tell Wonwoo to stop showing up.
“He’s not my patient anymore.” You insist over the phone, getting ticked off when all he does is laugh. “There’s no reason he should be coming to see me.”
“Have you ever considered that’s exactly why he’s there?” He retorts. “He’s not your patient anymore.”
You’re confused. Seungkwan huffs.
“He’s interested in you, dumbass. For something more. I swear to god, you’re kind of dumb for someone so qualified.”
If you weren’t so shocked by Seungkwan’s revelation, you would be more offended at his quip about your intelligence. But you’re stuck on his first sentence, and nothing else registers.
“No he’s not.” You immediately bite out.
“He is. I would know. He asks about you almost every day.”
“That’s-” Your heart races. You grip the phone hard. “How is that possible?”
Seungkwan snorts. “Beats me. I can’t remember the last time he was genuinely into something that wasn’t his damn car.”
You don’t know what to say to him. So you just hang up, something fluttering in your stomach at the thought of Wonwoo being interested in you for anything beyond your professional requirements. Could this be true? Is Seungkwan lying?
You’re too direct and matter-of-fact as a person to dance around anything. So the next time Wonwoo shows up, Tuesday afternoon as always, you don’t think you can ignore the slowly increasing tension between you two anymore, the one that has been rising since the day you discharged him.
“Wonwoo.” You speak up as you examine him, hand on his collarbone, other holding up his arm.
“Hm?”
“Seungkwan told me something. I need to confirm it with you.”
“What is it?” His eyes are on you, that same soft look in his eyes that seems to be reserved for you. You pointedly look at his shoulder only.
“Are you- Do you want-” You grit your teeth, feeling the knot in your throat. This is ridiculous. How can you not get the words out? You both know what this is and what you’re referring to. You’re not idiots. From the corner of your eye, you catch Wonwoo’s lips pulling up in an amused smirk.
“I do.” He says. “As you so eloquently put it, I do want.”
You feel your face flush hot. You turn your head and scowl at him.
“You’re an asshole.”
Your words surprise him, but there’s no venom behind them, so he lets out a laugh. “That’s not very professional, doctor.”
You roll your eyes. “I’m not your doctor anymore.”
“Yet you still have your hands on me.” His eyes shoot down pointedly to the palm you have on his bare shoulder. You flush and try to pull away, but immediately, Wonwoo reaches up, gripping your wrist tightly.
“Don’t.” He whispers.
Your eyes meet, and you can feel that coil in the bottom of your stomach. Something tingles your skin, the place where Wonwoo grips your wrist. You’re acutely aware that he’s shirtless, and that has never bothered you before, but the context is different now. There’s a heat in his gaze as he watches you. His eyes shift, for a fraction of a second, down to your lips. You grit your teeth, looking at him intensely. You voice the singular doubt that has been in your head all this time.
“I will not be a conquest, Jeon Wonwoo.” You state. “I know what your life is like. I won’t be an accessory in it. If you want to do this, it has to be more than what you’ve previously given.”
When he smiles at you, it’s gentle, warm. You’ve never seen him smile like this. Jeon Wonwoo, the pride of Aston Martin, cold, sharp and ruthless. His hard exterior is his charm. But here, with you, devoid of his bright race suit, in nothing but a t-shirt and pants, hair falling over his eyes and face relaxed of all its tension, this is different. This is intimate in a way it has never been before.
“Why do you think I like you?” Wonwoo says, caressing your wrist with the hand already holding it. You watch the movement when you can no longer bear to watch his eyes. “You’re strong headed, like me. Firm, like me. You talk to others like you won’t take their shit. You didn’t take mine. You put me in my place.”
You huff. “Sounds like a lot of fancy words to say I’m a bitch.”
Wonwoo laughs openly this time, not a chuckle, but a full belly laugh, and the sound leaves you frozen. You decide you like it.
“You’re not. And even if you are, you’ve got the goods to back it up. Just like I do.”
That makes you smile. Wonwoo’s laughter settles, and his bright eyes meet yours. You’ve spent so long trying to ignore how handsome he is. Strong jaw, sharp cut cheekbones, intense eyes, hair that perfectly frames his forehead. This close, you can admire all his features. And he lets you, because his own eyes are drinking you in. The air sizzles with tension. Your breath stills. Finally, Wonwoo closes the gap between you.
It’s like the static in the air breaks as soon as his lips meet yours. It starts slow, tentative, like he’s trying to feel you out. You move at his pace, happy to just indulge in this feeling. It has been a long time coming for both of you. As he keeps going, the pace picks up, hungry, intense, heads turning to deepen the kiss. His uninjured arm winds around your waist, trying to hold you as close as he can from where he sits on the examination table. You stand between his spread legs, head tilted up, one hand gripping his shoulder. You’re careful to avoid his opposite side. Despite how good the healing is going four weeks in, you don’t want to do anything that might jeopardise it. Wonwoo knows it too, keeping that arm away, but his free hand is large, gripping possessively at your waist as his tongue slides into your mouth, warm and wet. You can’t help but whine into him.
He pulls away with a curse, kissing the corner of your mouth, your cheek, your jaw. You let him, basking in the heat that rolls over your body.
“Let me take you out to dinner.” He whispers. His hand snakes under your lab coat, toying with the hem of your shirt before slipping inside to run over your bare side. You shiver, eyes rolling up as he nips at your neck.
“Only if I can ride you in the backseat of your car after.” You retort.
That makes him groan. He pulls away to rest his forehead on your shoulder. “You drive me crazy, you know that?”
“Is that a pun?”
He snorts and pinches your side where his hand is still wandering under your shirt. You yelp and slap it away. He only chuckles.
“Tomorrow night?” His eyes are so soft. Your heart sings.
“Tomorrow night.”
……………………………
Wonwoo is a man who keeps his promises, and you admire that. It shows that he is honest, and that he cares. So, as promised, he takes you to dinner the very next night, and, as promised, he has you in the backseat of his car right after.
It could, of course, be entirely selfish that he kept his promise, but you really don’t care about that because you’re here now, lips devouring each other’s like you’ve been starving, your dress pushing up to your hips so you can straddle his lap and grind down on his rapidly hardening cock. One of Wonwoo’s arms, the healing one, is stationary on your bare thigh, but the other moves desperately, winding into your hair to hold you in place as his teeth bite your bottom lip, tugging at it, tongue immediately swiping over it to ease the sting. You’re already so wet, nearly soaking through your panties. You’d been slowly sizzling with heat since the moment he picked you up at your place, dressed in a black button down shirt, sleeves rolled up and first two buttons undone to give him a more casual look, and matching black slacks. He had run his eyes down your body, your form fitting navy blue dress with a flared skirt, the neckline just low enough to give a teasing peek. You know what this dress does, and Wonwoo tells you exactly that now too, as he pushes the skirt up to play with the lace of your panties.
“Shouldn’t have waited until after dinner.” He groans. “The second I saw you, I should’ve turned you around against your door and fucked the shit out of you.”
You clench around nothing, moaning into his mouth. His lips leave you to travel down, licking and biting at any surface he can find, teeth digging into the skin of your neck. It sends a sizzle down your spine straight to your core. Your hands fumble frantically to unbutton his shirt and pull it back to reveal his bare chest, perfectly chiseled and leading down to his built abs. You run your hand over him, watching his muscles contract under your touch. You grind hard onto him, his clothed shaft pressing right against where you need him the most. He curses, finally having had enough, and pulls your panties to the side so he can slide his fingers through your sopping slit.
“Jesus.” He sighs, looking up at you. In the darkness of the parking lot, you can barely see him, but his eyes are piercing, clouded with lust and a hunger that makes you clench around nothing. “So wet, baby. For me?”
You nod shamelessly, sighing in relief when he circles your aching clit. He rubs sensually over it, like he’s coaxing you to greater heights of arousal. You press your forehead against his, grinding on his hand. You want more so badly, but you’re so turned on that you know you can get there with just his clever fingers alone. He’s working you just right, and he knows it too, whispering dirty words into your mouth as you whine into him.
“So pretty, using my hand like this.” He hums. “Can’t tell you how many times I imagined you on top of me. Under me. Wrapped around me. Such a perfect body, perfect pussy.”
Your head spins at his words, his implications, pleasure cresting until you can’t hold back anymore and let your high take you. You gasp and tremble, his fingers steady, taking you through it and prolonging it as much as he can with his movements. It leaves you dizzy and lightheaded, nearly boneless.
You haven't even properly come down before you’re fumbling with his belt and unbuttoning his pants, your vision slightly hazy as lust clouds your senses. Wonwoo lifts his hips to allow you to tug them down a bit, and his cock springs free. He’s huge, long and thick veined, mushroom tip that’s already leaking, shiny in the dim light that falls on it. You lick your lips.
“Wanna suck you off.” You breathe. Wonwoo moans.
“I’d love that, baby. But I need to fuck you right now or I’m gonna lose my mind.”
The petname makes you whimper, and you nod your head before lifting your hips so you can line him up. You don’t want to waste any more time. You’re as desperate for him as he is for you. You sink down on him in one smooth slide, jaw going slack as his cock carves its way through your spongy, contracting walls. Wonwoo’s voice breaks as he moans, a sound so delicious right next to your ear.
“Holy hell.” He chokes out, his fingers digging into your hips so hard you know it will leave bruises. Not like you mind. The thought of having signs of Wonwoo all over you leaves you lightheaded. You remain still for a few seconds, trying to adjust to the intrusion. You can feel the moment he twitches inside you, and you can’t help but sigh at the feeling. Your hips swivel, testing, and Wonwoo throws his head back against the seat. Your eyes shoot down to the column of his throat, slick with his sweat and cords of muscle straining. It’s so hot, you think you can cum just from this sight.
“God.” His voice cracks. “You’re so….. god.”
Never in your life did you think you would see the Jeon Wonwoo rendered speechless. But if there was ever a moment for it, witnessing it while your pussy is strangling his cock is glorious. You mouth at his jaw, roll your hips again so his navel brushes your clit just right. His hands have a vice-like grip on you, and he encourages your movements. Finally, you brace your legs on either side of him, and start to properly bounce on his rock hard cock.
Wonwoo isn’t a very vocal person, but he lets out little grunts and sighs in between your movements. He is very attentive though, caressing your waist, squeezing your boobs and tugging your dress down enough so that he can free them. He groans in approval as they bounce with your movements, pinching your nipples until you whine and sink down on him harder. His mouth busies itself on your neck, and you’re so fucked out that you don’t even care if he’s leaving marks in visible places. You wind your hand through his hair, tugging harshly at it. He curses and bites down in warning. All throughout it, your movements don’t falter once, brain addled with lust. His tip kisses your cervix when you angle yourself a certain way, his shaft brushes over every part of you so effectively that you see stars. Sweat builds up, the windows fog, the car rocks. Neither of you care.
Your thighs tremble when fatigue sets in, and Wonwoo notices, winding his good arm around your waist and anchoring you tight against him as he slides his body down just a little and tenses his legs. You realise what he’s going to do, and you try to protest.
“Wonwoo, your shoulder.” You gasp out. He runs his tongue over your jaw.
“I’m okay. Wanna fuck you properly. This pussy deserves it.”
You clench and whine. You don’t have it in you to fight him on this. You’re already so close, and you want that final push. Wonwoo’s grip is strong, leaving you immobile, and finally, he starts moving, his hips fucking up into you. You cry out, the angle shifting and the intensity increasing. His pace is brutal, skin slapping hard against skin. Your second orgasm is fast approaching, and you can barely choke out the words to warn him. But he knows already.
“Go ahead, baby. That’s it.” He goads you. “Make a mess on me. Wanna feel your pussy tighten around my dick. Come on. Cum all over me.”
His words are so depraved, so filthy, that you can’t hold it anymore. He fucks you through your peak, holding your shaking and writhing body tightly to his as you do. It washes over you in tidal waves, sinking into your very bones and leaving you melting into his body. Wonwoo holds you still, pushes into you over and over, pace turning sloppy before finally he pushes deep inside you with a few more deep thrusts. He groans deliciously in your ear, voice strained and thick with his own pleasure. Finally, he relaxes, trying to catch his breath.
You shift yourself to his good side, fingers reaching up to run over the curved scar along his collarbone after pushing his unbuttoned shirt out of the way. He shivers just a little under your touch. You feel his lips on your hairline.
“Okay?” You ask, referring to his injury. He nods.
“More than okay.”
You smile and lay a kiss on his shoulder. You feel his arms tighten around you. You relax into him, closing your eyes.
……………………………….
You don’t put a label on your relationship with Wonwoo, but over the course of the next two weeks, it’s clear that is what it is. A relationship. Wonwoo is aware that you made it clear this isn’t some casual fucking around, not that he wants it to be. This incident, his injury, a wrench in his career plan, a halt in his ambitions, had done nothing but recenter Wonwoo’s focus. Not just professionally, but in his personal life as well.
He hasn’t really met anyone like you.
You’re headstrong without compromising your kindness, firm without letting go of your empathy. You are all the good parts of what Wonwoo thinks his own personality is. He doesn’t know what that makes him, but he does know that being around you dampens that hollow feeling inside him that leaves him crass and snappy towards everyone around him. He doesn’t want to completely change who he is as a person, nor is that something you are hoping for, but Wonwoo is a firm believer in the fact that there is always room for improvement, whether it’s your sport or in yourself as a person. If being with you helps with that even a little bit, he will welcome it.
As Wonwoo slowly integrates back into racing, it seems that everyone notices this slight change too. It’s not visible in his habits yet, since it’s still very early, but it definitely is present in his mindset. Seungkwan sees it most of all, since he meets with Wonwoo every day for his physio, as well as the fact that Seungkwan knows you and what is going on between him and you.
“It’s funny, for it to be her of all people.” Seungkwan comments. “You two might be similar, and it’s for the better when it comes to you, but from her point of view, your lives couldn’t be more different.”
Wonwoo hums, contemplating, before halting Seungkwan as well, who is assisting him with his arm lifts. “What do you mean?”
Seungkwan looks a little confused. “Just that she’s a pretty private person. She has a routine, she sticks to it. Keeps her head down and does her job right. I figured you would know. You see her every week.”
Well, Wonwoo did know, but he never paid much attention to it. Wonwoo’s own life is very much the opposite. His schedule is awry and unpredictable, his profession takes him all around the world, his day is fast paced and his race weekends even more so. He’s stepping into the spotlight in less than a week, finally cleared by everyone involved in his care. He’s been doing race simulations flawlessly, hitting the gym to rebuild muscle and working with Seungkwan in all his free time. Soon, he will be returning to his crazy, haphazard and high octane routine. Which, he is quickly realising, is far different to yours.
Would you be okay with it?
The dilemma stays with Wonwoo while he completes physio for the day and bids Seungkwan goodbye, his therapist completely oblivious to the turmoil he has unknowingly caused. Later in the evening, Wonwoo shows up at your door for your date. This time, it is something more lowkey, just dinner at your place and a movie. Wonwoo doesn’t really care much for the movie, he had other plans for you and him which involved your couch, your bed, and later, your shower. But Seungkwan’s words are still annoyingly fixed in his head, and you being the ever perceptive person you are, notice his distraction the second dinner is done and you’re sitting together to eat it.
“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” Your eyes are on the television screen, pushing food around on your plate. Your thigh is pressed to his, casual intimacy that feels so comforting to Wonwoo, but it seems you sense how stiff he is.
“It’s race weekend soon.” He begins, deciding that he wants to be up front with you. He won’t shut down on you, he had promised himself that before he even first asked you out. You’re different, so he needs to be different with you. You deserve more of him than anyone else. You nod, so he keeps going.
“I don’t want you to be any less of a priority as my schedule picks up again.” He says. “Things will get crazy immediately, because I need to make do for the three races I’ve missed. I was up by a lot of points before this, so there’s a chance I can still take the championship, but I need to really, really hunker down for that.”
You nod again and hum. “I figured as much. It’s good to know there’s still a chance, even if it’s a small one.”
Wonwoo nods, gears up for what he will say next.
“I know you have your own routine.” Wonwoo stares at his plate. “I hope me being part of it won’t disrupt it too much.”
You are silent for a few seconds. Then, you snort.
“Of course you being part of my routine will disrupt it.” You quip. “You’re a whole person. My life can’t stay the same with you involved.”
Wonwoo blinks, shocked by how casual and matter-of-fact you sound about it. “Oh.”
It’s a lame reply. And it makes you laugh. You lean forward to set your plate on the coffee table. He follows suit, settling on the couch by facing you.
“Wonwoo, I’m not completely naïve. I know what your job entails, and how things will change for you personally because of it. What do you think I signed up for when we decided to do this? I know how it goes.”
Wonwoo feels his cheeks heat a little. Damn Seungkwan. He had Wonwoo worried for nothing, because he forgot that you’re the most level-headed, understanding person he has ever met. He knew it from the day you first saw him, that night he spent in your clinic, staring at the grey ceiling, listening to the heart monitor beeping steadily on, and wondering why he felt for you the way that he did. Even then, Wonwoo knew you were different. He knew that he trusted you, despite the fact that in his frantic, adrenaline driven life, he has never trusted anyone as far as he can throw them.
Wonwoo doesn’t know if he’s in love, if it’s too soon for that, but as he watches your amused little smirk, he does know he is getting there frighteningly fast. But that is his life. He is used to living his relentless life, high pressure, hyper competitive, physically and mentally brutal, unforgiving but rewarding. He has never slow played anything, ever. So this feels natural, falling headfirst into you, despite every variable and every unknown involved. Jeon Wonwoo, the pride of Aston Martin, a man who has been sure of everything in his life with one hundred per cent certainty, is more than okay with whatever you have in store for him, without even knowing what it is. Because it’s you, and he trusts you with everything in him.
So as he pulls you in for a kiss, smiling when you giggle sweetly into his mouth, he realises he doesn’t care if it’s too fast. In fact, he welcomes it. After all, he has always felt at home with a fast paced life.
SYNOPSIS.On the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and Wonwoo made a pact to lose your virginities together. Ten years later you're co-parenting your unexpected child while figuring out where you stand with each other.
PARING. Wonwoo x F!Reader
GENRE | TAGS. Smau, series, non idol!au, best friends (idiots) to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, slow burn, angst, pinning, fluff, humor/comedy.
AN. Wonwoo and YN: the enemy is different now... I’ll start by saying I’m not sure if there will be an update tomorrow, but if not, I’ll see you next saturday. As always, let me know what you think…
STATUS. On-going.
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# NAVIGATION | MAIN MASTERLIST | PERMANENT TAGLIST
Every ask & comment gives me life 💗 If you’re enjoying it, don’t forget to reblog, helps so much and gets the fic out there!!
SYNOPSIS.On the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and Wonwoo made a pact to lose your virginities together. Ten years later you're co-parenting your unexpected child while figuring out where you stand with each other.
PARING. Wonwoo x F!Reader
GENRE | TAGS. Smau, series, non idol!au, best friends (idiots) to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, slow burn, angst, pinning, fluff, humor/comedy.
SYNOPSIS. On the night of your eighteenth birthday, you and Wonwoo made a pact to lose your virginities together. Ten years later you're co-parenting your unexpected child while figuring out where you stand with each other.
PARING. Wonwoo x F!Reader
GENRE | TAGS. Smau, series, non idol!au, best friends (idiots) to lovers, unexpected pregnancy, slow burn, angst, pinning, fluff, humor/comedy.
WARNINGS. Heavy angst, emotional whiplash, pregnancy talk (nausea, appointments, baby prep), kid angst, mentions of unprotected sex, condom failure. Y/N is going through emotional hell, but what's new. There's a little spelling mistake.
A/N. After many, many soons, here it is !!
STATUS. On-going.
← PREVIOUS | SERIES MASTERLIST | TAGLIST
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# NAVIGATION | MAIN MASTERLIST | PERMANENT TAGLIST
Every ask & comment gives me life 💗 If you’re enjoying it, don’t forget to reblog, helps so much and gets the fic out there!!
