i just want to relearn how to love learning

• carly shaye • she/her • 20 • a place to scream into the void about education, both institutional and (the best kind) independent •

[ilsestudiesstudying]

11/11/2018

Went to Amsterdam this week and got these cute books 💕

[serotoninsuggestion]

it’s never too late!!!!!!! to text them back. to drink enough water today. to get into a skincare routine. to learn the piano or how to paint!! to learn winged eyeliner. to tell them how u feel. to start getting fitter. to get changed or brush your teeth or shower today. to read that book or watch that show everyone was talking about years ago. to turn an acquaintance into a friend. if u don’t start somewhere u won’t go anywhere at all.

[heavensghost]

You haven’t lost who you are, you’re just different now. and that’s okay

[cursed-kpop-images]

Hi

My name is Asia and I’m the admin of this stupid and unoriginal kpop blog. I’ve been making several posts about this topic, I know guys, I’m annoying but I really need help and this is the only place where I can ask for it.

I’m in a really bad situation - I don’t have money for rent, I don’t have money for school and I don’t have money to repair my only device that I use for school (my phone). I sold everything that I could including half of my kpop collection that I’ve been collecting for years. I’m on my own without the help of my family. I can’t sleep at night because I’m scared I’m going to lose my apartment. 

I decided to launch a GoFundMe to be transparent with everyone who’s willing to help me. I explained the whole story there because I don’t want this post to be a full novel. 

I want to say thank you to everyone who has helped me so far. You’re literally saving my life. I know people don’t owe me anything and no one should feel obligated to help me but please at least share this post, it’s still a huge help. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[wooziinthehead]

a manifesto of my intent to love my education

i'm sure no one is following this dead ass blog, but i feel that for the sake of new beginnings that i need an introduction. a written manifestation of my intentions.

i'm carly shaye and i hate learning. i haven't always felt like this.

for most of my life, a love of learning was, ultimately problematically, what i defined myself by. breathing was something i did to stretch my lungs, but learning was was something i did to live. don't confuse this with my formal education, grades never mattered. grades came secondary to learning, but the learning always kept them okay.

but at 17 pressure became inseparable from the learning. at 18 anxiety made me terrified to even try to learn, in case i did it wrong. at 19 bipolar disorder was diagnosed, and don't get me wrong, it was this medical condition that caused the worst year of my life, but it was the absence of things i loved, like learning, that left me lackluster in my treatment at first.

now i'm 20 and the world is back on its axis. i can breathe, most of the time, but remember what i said? that's just stretching my lungs. excluding the wonderful people and animals in my life, what do I have to love? i spend hours watching youtube videos about things i don't care about, and a few seconds skimming articles about subjects i do care about.

most of the time you can't choose what you love, but i also think sometimes you can. i'm choosing learning.

on this blog i want to keep up with my reacquaintance of my first first love, and maybe eventually meet some other kids trying to figure out how to learn.

i am going to tag this, but i am writing this mainly for the benefit of 21 year old carly shaye. i hope she can look at this and feel proud of how far she has come, and forgive herself for whatever hasn't gone to plan.

(you're young and have time. stop worrying)

(it'll be ok)

[prismatic-bell]

So You’re A Gentile Who’s Realized We Have A Problem: Now What?

Tumblr likes to spin its wheels and spend time yelling at each other, so here’s a nice comprehensive guide. Five Things You Can Do Now That You Know We Were Serious About The Antisemitism:

1) Accept that if you’re in this to be an ally, you’re going to have a tough road ahead of you. We’re traditionally very wary of outsiders in our spaces because when we welcome them, well … this happens. In fact, if you want to convert to Judaism, you traditionally get rejected three times, just to make sure you’re serious and not shitting with us. Expect wariness. Expect to get your feelings hurt, because a lot of us are very raw right now. Stick with us anyway–once we know you’re not just bandwagoning us, you’re going to end up with a lot of friends who are relying on you. Nobody said allyship was easy.

2) Learn about Judaism. Note that I DO NOT MEAN LEARNING WITH INTENTION TO CONVERT. We don’t proselytize and it would be against Torah for me to even suggest it. What I mean here is, you can’t call bullshit if you don’t know what we’re about. Some good basic resources are The Jewish Book of Why by Alfred Kolatch; My Jewish Learning; and for a strict Orthodox standpoint, Chabad. You’ll find that some things in these sources contradict each other. That’s pretty par for the course in Judaism; we don’t have a single dogma or point of view.

3) Consider calling a local synagogue and asking if they have volunteer work for a gentile ally. Introduce yourself, explain (briefly) what got your attention, and offer your services–to stand outside during services, to walk folks to and from shul (this is particularly important in Orthodox communities, where driving on Shabbat is forbidden), hell, to help stuff envelopes for whatever vigil or service they may be holding in memoriam. Anything will help.

4) You may wish to make a donation to a local synagogue or Jewish charity. I strongly recommend the ADL (Anti-Defamation League), which is a Jewish charity focused on combating antisemitism. Jews traditionally give monetary gifts in sums of $18, which corresponds to the numeric value of the word “chai,” or “life.” The last time this happened I made a post about this tradition and got accused of being a Nazi because of the whole 1-8 A-H thing, so let’s just nip that right in the bud: yes, we know. It’s a horrible coincidence. We’re not giving up a few-thousand-year-old tradition because of some dipshit with a bad moustache. If you can’t afford $18, consider moving the decimal over and donating in multiples of 18, like $3.60. Your meaning will still be perfectly clear, and anything helps. If you wish to make a donation in memory/in honor (which many synagogues appreciate), I suggest either choosing the name of one of the shooting victims–giving tzedakah, or charity, in their names is considered a great mitzvah and a blessing to their families–or using the phrase “am Yisrael chai.” It means “Israel lives.” Although the country in the MENA region is called Israel, this is not what the phrase refers to–the traditional patriarch of Judaism was named Jacob, and renamed as Israel following a wrestling match with a messenger of G-d. To say “am Yisrael chai” is to say his people, that is, the Jewish people, live.

And on that note …

5) In the coming days and weeks, you’re going to see a lot of people making this about Israel or Zionism. Please tell them to shut the fuck up. Israel, Zionism, and Jews are three completely different, albeit related, things. To wit: Israel is a geopolitical country situated on the site of our ancestral homeland and currently headed by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu; Zionism is the belief that Jews deserve a safe homeland; and Jews are a group of people spread across six continents and most countries who are united by a common group of ancestors from the Levant (the part of the world now occupied by the geopolitical entity known as Israel). Saying the victims of this shooting had anything to do with the political situation in Israel would be like saying I, personally, am responsible for Vladimir Putin because I have a Russian ancestor. I speak exactly two words of Russian, have never been to Russia, have no family left living there (and haven’t for four generations), but I’m totally responsible for Russia. You see how ridiculous that sounds? The same applies to Jews and Israel. Please, please, PLEASE do not conflate this event with Israeli politics. I’m not saying Israeli politics aren’t a topic worth discussing–I’m saying this is not a discussion they belong in. Don’t let the powers that be (or the alt-right sleaze that sucks the dicks of the powers that be) distract from the topic at hand, which is “out of control guns meet out of control xenophobia and antisemitism,” by throwing OMG ISRAEL AND ZIONISM AND GLOBALISM into the mix.

And finally: yes, gentiles, this is okay for you to reblog. In fact I encourage it. And I will answer any questions you have to the best of my ability, if they’re asked in good faith. Please just follow the most basic tenet of Judaism, which is: don’t be a dick.

If you’re ready to stand and help, now is the time.

[jinblond-blog]

the ultimate tsundere

[jeonjuly-deactivated20201012]

shit yoongi says

[hobi-]

Expectation vs Reality: Blood, Sweat & Tears (video)

[je0n]

BTS + text posts: 12 / ? 

[pdwoozi2-deactivated20180415]

[vernonielover]

always reblog predebut jihoonie

[wooziinthehead]

I REALLY CANT THANK @thecheekybrunette ENOUGH FOR INTRODUCING ME TO THE “SUPER FREAK” AND “BAD AND BOUJEE” REMIX

[wooziinthehead]

https://soundcloud.com/guapbeats/bad-and-boujee-x-super-freak-full-mashup

[wooziinthehead]

I REALLY CANT THANK @thecheekybrunette ENOUGH FOR INTRODUCING ME TO THE "SUPER FREAK" AND "BAD AND BOUJEE" REMIX

[bebitojoonie]

im sick of the fake deep namjoon jokes. the jokes about how he’s oversharing.

do y'all have any idea how hard it is to come to terms with your depression and work through it on your own? how amazing it is that he opens up to us, and not selfishly, but so to inspire fans who might feel the same as he has?

namjoon suffers from depression. namjoon wanted to die. he’s told us. and on his own he worked through it. he got himself through those times. if you suffer from depression you should fucking understand how hard this is, esp in a country that really disregards mental illness. and how brave it is that he’d speak up about it so fans won’t feel like they’re alone.

fake deep? fake deep is yalls dumbass tumblr posts with the weird ass poetry that ends with the initials of some irrelevant poet to make it seem like it’s something important. fake deep is the kid in ur class that questions everything in the dumbest way in an attempt to sound smart. that’s not namjoon.

namjoon talks to us about how to find happiness and beauty in our lives bc he once lost it to the point of wanting to die. he tells us about believing in a future bc he nearly abandoned his own. he talks to us about dreams bc his were nearly not enough to hold him to this earth. he talks about feeling alone bc he, in his depression, felt isolated despite being surrounded by six close friends. namjoon opens up to us because this is his experience that he had to suffer to get, and furthermore, this is the experience that inspires him to do what he can to help ppl who feel the same.

namjoon knew damn well he’d be criticized for opening up. he knew that telling the world about his insecurities and depression and suicidal thoughts would result in mockery. but from his very own fandom? namjoon, the foundation of everything army loves? to think this fandom, without a damn care in the world, would be the biggest perpetrator of the mockery?

idc if it’s jokes. y'all wouldn’t dare mock yoongi for his depression, so I don’t understand why you think it’s okay to do the same to namjoon.

[our-kpopreact]

He protec but he also attac

[taebb-deactivated20201016]

“hugging a pillow helps me sleep well, i have to have someone”

[dearhopeworld]

@kisano @jiminms @cherryprincejin @ciutae

[joygucci-deactivated20160123]

Reblog if you're black tumblr.

You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.

[zaybntdaw-blog]

100%

[wetpsy-deactivated20150407]

200%

[decodethefallenmoon]

Someone who’s black or supports black people and their human rights. it literally says that in the description. “You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.” 

[fall-out-trans-child]

Why the fuck does this not have more notes wtf.