words for rae

Musings and words for me and me alone

[assiraphales]

it’s always a think piece about “why aren’t young people drinking” “why aren’t young people traveling” “why aren’t young people buying houses” “why aren’t young people optimistic for the future” w these elaborate hypothetical reasons

meanwhile the actual answer never changes: we broke, babes (and we live in a capitalistic corporate hellscape sucking the life out of us and the planet)

[words-for-rae]

You ever get an inspiration for some writing out of the blue that feels like you MUST write this even tho you haven’t written like poetry in like a decade and it was an assignment.

And then you actually write it and it’s the most devastating piece of art you’ve written that’s deeply personal and kinda painful???

Just me? Oh, shit. Sorry.

[sicksicksixx]

REPRESSED Dean fics for @autumnbois

I got this as an ask and accidentally DELETED MY LIST so here it is once again.

I have realized that my preferred flavor of repressed tends less toward “I can’t be with cas because I’m NOT GAY!” and more toward “I can’t be with Cas because I am broken and unlovable” so a lot of these have sex before love type vibes or kinds secret relationship vibes or maybe i want this but i shouldn’t and i can’t stay away vibes. But the emotional catharsis comes in slow for all of them.

crossing lines by sometimeswelose

probably my “favorite” fic if i could even classify such a thing. extremely real PTSD and BPD dean. just bleeding out emotionally on everyone around him. gorgeous writing. huge payoff.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29076138/chapters/71373267

then comes the rain series by someonetoanyone

i do not like mpreg and this is the only mpreg fic i’ve ever read and holy shit. it’s as good as it gets. so even if that’s not your thing i urge you to just give it a shot. it’s just aughhhhh. all of their stuff is great through if you wanna browse through.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3867019

IPAMIS OL OLPRIT by emmbrancsxx0

I’m a huge sucker for “John comes back and Dean reverts to his worst self” and this is the most painful of those for me. Great established deancas whump. So fun to see dean be the worse version of himself.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15371784/chapters/35670621

ten minutes from home: lebanon coda by disabled_dean

another John comes back and throws dean into chaos fic. a slightly more tender vibe, a different take on john, some of the most interesting world building i’ve ever seen. a must read.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61589965/chapters/157459309

2003 by feargach

dean is sent back in time and wakes up under john’s thumb, missing cas, and reevaluating everything he used to believe in. meanwhile 24 year old dean wakes up in the bunker, forced to reconcile with things he can barely even think about. so tender. so beautiful. so healing. the final in my top 3 “john comes back to throw dean off” but this time it’s dean going back. he’s forced to confront so so so much stuff and the writing is just gorgeous.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64973776/chapters/167035966#workskin

I wanna get outside (of me) by emwebb17

OCD reclusive cas is a dom who hires sub dean to come for a totally no-feelings at all contractual sex work job. such gooood OCD rep and i just love the slow burn/tons of kink blend.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5221478/chapters/12040040

ramble on by gingerswag

trucker cas/sex worker dean on a cross country road trip and oh man this one rips my heart up. a tragic dean, a very autistic cas, a lot of mental health issues and such an unlikely connection through it all.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58050421/chapters/147790846

the dean winchester beat sheet by saltyfeathers

college au. dean “why does everyone think i’m gay” winchester. such a fun, delightful read. probably the most truly “repressed” dean on this list in a classical sense. wonderful storytelling.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258594/chapters/45800209

faith healer by punkascas (earlwyn)

i put off reading this because i often find endverse style cas a little OOC but oh man not here. not at all. incredibly in character stuff. maybe my favorite dean/sam dynamic in a fic. a great case in the background and such a lived in world. it’s so so so good.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5265206/chapters/12220853

plain and tall by destielpasta and mtothedestiel

a “sarah plain and tall” au and one of my favorite historical aus. homesteading on the kansas prairie. dad dean left alone with a baby. a realistic but never cruel take on mid 19th century homosexuality. a warm and cozy read with a good tense slow burn.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8246228/chapters/18896882

[inacatastrophicmind]

[notevenalittle]

in honor of 4/20 here are some endverse cas memes, roll em up and smoke em

[words-for-rae]

Trying to slow down

[words-for-rae]

Just a curvy, bisexual smoking weed on her back porch watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race. I know I’m my southern, right wing neighbors worst nightmare bby.

[words-for-rae]

[words-for-rae]

I’ve reached full witch status

I just found a large moth congregating in my office and walked back outside and immediately said “oh wow look at the moon she’s beautiful !” 🌙✨

[own-personal-brand-of-brainrot]

You ever just go… uh oh. I married Dean Winchester.

[words-for-rae]

Uh oh…

And I’m Cas.

[words-for-rae]

Oh hey, i think about to get really personal on here. Treat it like a fucking diary. Is that lame? Yeah ?? Okay I’ll do it anyway.

[words-for-rae]

oh, so I've always been dramatic.

dated 2015. Yikes girl, chill

[dogray]

northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me

[words-for-rae]

Feeling all sorts of excited because today I finished four batches of cookies and treats for my friends and family. Can’t believe I’ve had the energy to do this in the first place. The absolute joy and relief I am feeling now that I’ve found a balance with my meds and an official diagnosis for my chronic illness is unmatched. I’m so glad I kept fighting for me. I’m real damn lucky. 💖

[words-for-rae]

Just a curvy, bisexual smoking weed on her back porch watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race. I know I’m my southern, right wing neighbors worst nightmare bby.

[words-for-rae]

what do you mean ao3 is down while i'm barreling through chapters of Our Old Heroes by AdelaClancy??? What am i supposed to do now? work?

[words-for-rae]

smoke on the breeze 🦋 🍃🌎✨🌫️

[words-for-rae]

The world is a fucked up place where rapists are presidents and your childhood memories burn to the ground.