Currently having the best night of my life because not only did I get to see TGWDLM on stage in person in London tonight, but the star of the show himself Jon Matteson noticed me on Twitter and Instagram?!?
Fishing cats are stocky, muscular nocturnal predators about twice the size of a domestic cat. Little studied and rarely seen, fishing cats lurk near the muddy shores of oxbow lakes, mangrove swamps, and tidal creeks in South and South East Asia where they dine on fish and crabs (or, failing that, anything smaller than them). The fishing cat is a fast and powerful swimmer and even has webbed paws!
Sadly, fishing cats are now endangered and the global population may have declined by around 30% in the years 2010–2015. The destruction of wetlands and persecution by local farmers and fisherman have driven them to extinction in many regions.
Why Paul’s Fate in “Hey Melissa!” Hits So Hard: A Mirror of TGWDLM’s Tragic Ending
After enjoying the pro-shot for the reprise, I rewatched some Nightmare Time and the parallels of Paul’s tragic endings in the musical and “Hey Melissa!” stand out to me more than ever. But first I want to talk about the main thing that’s bugged me about the ending of HM (Paul from BF: “I don’t like it, and I’ll tell you why!”). fencecollapsed already wrote an absolutely brilliant post about all the flaws in the writing of the episode, and the amazing potential it had to explore themes of dehumanization, abusive relationships, and desperation for love. I think part of the difficulty for fans when interpreting the episode is how abruptly things change without foreshadowing and full explanations. Shock-value twists don’t properly explain what Melissa’s deal is (is she deluded, playing games, or a mixture of both? And how much does she care for Paul, in her own twisted way, if at all?) and why Paul makes the decision he does. My interpretation tries to work with the script as is, knowing that it’s flawed.
The ending of “Hey Melissa!” gives a lot of people major ick, but for me the worst part isn’t that Paul went back to Melissa and wanted to be her cat. The worst part is that he’s traumatized with Stockholm syndrome (probably concussed, so he has no ability to be making major decisions) and is essentially going back to his abuser and dooming himself to almost certain death. But as fencecollapsed’s other post reminded me, that episode’s ending couldn’t possibly last. Agent Freddie Biggs will track Paul and Melissa down easily, or Bill and co. at CCRP will be able to tell that something’s wrong, or Paul will get sick and die from malnourishment or Melissa’s abuse.
It’s not a sustainable, “safe sane and consensual” kinky relationship. In the first place, Paul couldn’t give proper consent with all those injuries and trauma, and secondly, he is not into it when he’s in his right mind. From the beginning, Paul doesn’t like being kidnapped, humiliated, and dehumanized. Melissa’s painful punishments with the taser, and her victims’ fear of her using it, are primarily how she maintains control. This is an obvious statement, but throughout the whole episode, Paul doesn’t give any indications of enjoying it. He’s trying to escape the entire episode. He’s miserable and feels helpless. Using the litter box, he seethes, “I hate this so much.” He’s said (well, his clone, who was very similar to him in many ways) in “Forever and Always” that he “[does] not like roleplay!” His turnabout at the end is a major character change. Where did it come from? Let’s just dismiss shock-value rushed writing for the moment. I think it’s three main things:
His physical injuries and confusion. At the end of the episode, Paul obviously isn’t in a healthy headspace. He’s suffering from several injuries and trauma by the time he wakes up in the hospital. When Freddie jokes, “I’d like to shake your paw,” Paul is extremely confused. At this point, he’s been dehumanized so much that maybe he’s starting to get used to it and believe it—which is such a compelling moment of horror in its own right! But that gets into the psychological reasons, which are my next points.
To fully blame Paul’s attitude change on brain damage, like the episode seems to want us to do, is boring and not thematically interesting. Like @fencecollapsed wrote, that explanation that the episode pushes is “lame and not compelling,” which is why I’m leaning into the psychological reasons more. I think those interpretations are a whole lot more interesting! Especially since HM’s ending has created an open debate for fans of whether Paul genuinely discovered an enjoyment of pet play “wink wink,” or if he is simply susceptible to being coerced into horrible versions of “happiness” if pushed far enough.
2. Plenty of others have pointed out the trauma bonding at play here. “A trauma bond is characterized by cycles of negative reinforcement interspersed with occasional bursts of positive reinforcement; this so-called intermittent reinforcement makes it very difficult to leave an abusive relationship.” This is especially evident in how Melissa switches back and forth between patronizing Paul with sweet talk and babying, to dehumanizing and hurting him with cruel sadism. If this aspect had been explored in the episode, it would have better explained the psychological manipulation that started to influence and gaslight Paul.
The victim of trauma bonding is “love-bombed and then devalued. There may be an extreme push-pull cycle.” Melissa inflicts Paul with painful punishments and humiliation, but in other moments she’s sickeningly sweet, seemingly caring, and affectionate toward Paul. After the head trauma, Paul gets confused about Melissa’s treatment of him. His need for love and safety gradually shifted into being associated with Melissa: "The cycle of trauma bonding includes repeated abuse with occasional moments of being 'loved' or 'saved.' The brain may latch onto the positive experience of relief and safety and aim to achieve it again during the next cycle of abuse." [x]
I'll further explain this theory, but I think Paul's low self-esteem could have muddled his thoughts about Melissa. Maybe he thinks, what’s so bad about his relationship with Melissa, anyway? Maybe it’s what he deserves, and the best he can get. He’s never felt like enough, but he’s enough for her like this, as her cat. Add in Paul being a bit touch-starved, and maybe the physical affection Melissa gives him and the intense attention (both negative and positive) feel close enough to love for Paul.
Let me explain a bit more and focus on Paul's likely self-esteem issues. This has always been an integral part of his character to me. If the episode had taken more time to explore this, it would have been so fascinating. Ultimately, I think this is the most intriguing and believable reason that Paul (after enough pressure and trauma) would have decided of his own free will to accept a toxic relationship and go back to Melissa:
3. Paul’s highly probable struggle with low self-esteem. We can see for ourselves that he’s a socially awkward guy with an anxious demeanor (and fans have varying readings of Paul being introverted or on the autistic spectrum). Paul grew up poor, poor enough that he went to Sycamore High School where everyone “hated themselves.” I argued in a recent post that Paul’s background of growing up poor significantly impacted his view of himself, how he prioritizes his needs, and made him set a low bar in life. His top priorities are safety and comfort, like Jon Matteson said last summer (at about 28:25 of his interview with Curt Mega). In my opinion, that’s because he didn’t grow up with financial security and the luxury to prioritize his emotional needs. That’s why he seems unambitious in life: his only goal was to get a job so he could feel safe (“I don’t know, I want what anybody wants: money, a house…” In the reprise, those two things are at the top of his list: basic survival needs). He grew up probably getting bullied and feeling ashamed of growing up poor. He had a job as a newspaper delivery boy, and this could’ve been to help make ends meet at home.
I think this impacted Paul to be the awkward guy we meet at the start of TGWDLM. He was on survival mode for so long focusing on his financial needs, he didn’t work on his personal relationships. His emotional connections with his friends/coworkers are shallow; he’s reluctant to commit to emotional demands, and he’s shy in talking to his crush. It’s because he yearns for Emma at the start of TGWDLM that we see most clearly that he wants and needs more out of life. “I’ve never been happy,” he sings, and when the Hive made him “let it out,” that was probably the first time that he revealed this suppressed idea to himself.
So imagine Paul, quietly unsatisfied in life but unable to quite put a name to it. There’s a part of him that needs an extra push, some help or guidance, something to get him to that next level to feel fulfilled. The conflict of the apocalypse in TGWDLM then gave him purpose: he was fighting against the Hive, perhaps fully appreciating his free will for the first time in his life (rather than just being a cog in a corporate machine), and developed deeper bonds with Emma and his friends. But by the end, Pokey disregarded any of Paul’s actual wants/needs and filled that void with song and purpose (robbing him of his free will, autonomy, and integrity in the process). In “Hey Melissa!,” Melissa’s drive is eerily similar to Pokey’s. For her pleasure and amusement, she forces her will on others, regardless of their feelings. She kidnaps Paul, forcing on him her desires to humiliate, control, emotionally manipulate, and inflict pain. She forces him into the role she wants him to play.
Sound familiar? Pokey and Melissa both sought to dehumanize Paul, rob him of his autonomy, and destroy his individuality. They brainwash him until he finally breaks and submits. All that’s left is obedience.
What’s especially so tragic about this is that Paul worked at CCRP for many years, just another cog in a corporate machine. He had a life full of obedience to his boss, financial demands, and social expectations. He got by having his financial needs met, but inside he quietly knew that he needed something more to feel fulfilled. By the end of TGWDLM, he loses his free will and he’s a cog in a whole new machine. He has no choice but to obey his new master, Pokey. And it’s the same at the end of “Hey Melissa!” It’s fitting that in the reprised version of the show, Melissa is in the group when the Hive sings: “We swear we will teach you, what it means to love/ What it means to obey, Paul!”
In TGWDLM, the last choice Paul makes is to blow up the meteor—we know he doesn’t want to be part of the Hive. Then he is infected. He’s mind-controlled by Pokey and coerced into the role of leading man. His fate is sealed: he's forced full of manic joy, in a world and role he hates but brainwashed to take part in, trapped in a musical forever.
In “Hey Melissa!,” the last lucid choice Paul makes is to try and escape Melissa’s apartment. He gets hit by a car and is brutally injured. He’s traumatized by Melissa’s intense, love-bombing, pain-inflicting affection. He’s trapped in the role of her cat, hating roleplay yet brainwashed into enjoying it. He’ll be her sweet kitty until it kills him.
“Don’t you want to see me happy, is it so tragically wrong?”
Don't suppose you'd be willing to expand on the better written of Hey Melissa in your head? I love a good deconstruction of a flawed piece of media
yeah I can do that! I've talked a little about my thoughts in this old post, but I could definitely stand to expand on it more
So I think Hey Melissa has a GREAT concept, I like a lot of the ideas here, I like Melissa as a character I think she's a fun villain, and theoretically I like the concept of the ending. I like dehumanization horror and find it deeply compelling. I think the horror at the center, how both Paul and Ted in some way become how she treats them, accepting and living in it, can be extremely effective. Melissa's dynamic with Paul interests me, it's horrifying but there's a compulsion to it, an awful, sick indulgence. There's a reason I write Melissa's obsession with Paul in The Severed Floor like I do, there's something engaging in whatever the fuck this is. On a certain level it scratches an itch, this kind of thing IS up my alley.
I just think it was executed poorly!
I have four big issues with the story as is: I think the setup is convoluted. I think it relies too much on shallow shock value to function as an actually compelling story - it's very focused on the fact that the concept is fucked up and uncomfortable, and less on using it to really explore the characters in a meaningful way. I think Bill and Emma's roles in the story are useless and borderline insulting. And I think the ending is not built up to properly at all, it comes too far out of left field to work on a level beyond surface shock.
It feels like such a first draft of a story, a lot of these issues could possibly have been fixed if they did another go or two. It's a bonus story so I'd almost be inclined to be a little more forgiving, but yknow, this is on the same level of canon as the rest of the series right? I can be as harsh as I see fit <3
SO I'll go one at a time and explain my issues, and what changes I personally think could've made the story work better. And for the record I know some of these could fall into just a preference thing, I'm only human lmao but I think I'm being pretty fair and not trying to buy clothes at the soup store here.
This got long so I'm putting it under a cut lmao
Convoluted Setup
Paul tells Melissa a story from his childhood, when he took in a stray dog and loved it for a short time, and when he saw the original owners the dog tried to run away to get to the people he really belonged to, Paul didn't want to let him go, and the dog got hit by a car and died. This makes Melissa's perception of Paul change completely and she intends to keep him as a dog because that's what he is to her. Paul meows in a last-ditch effort to keep himself safe and it works because...? Reasons? Does she actually believe he's a real cat suddenly? Why? Does she take it as an excuse because she actually still likes him? There's no indication of that. It's absurd and funny, yeah, that's probably the whole point. But the gray area between whether Melissa and the Kitty Cat Club are gender essentialists who hate all men and are doing an elaborate bit for their murder funtimes, or if they're like, actually having delusions and 100% believe what they're saying, just doesn't really work for me. It makes this sequence of events more confusing than it needs to be.
I think it muddies her motivations too much to really be worth having her opinion shift drastically multiple times so fast. Part of the point in the dog & cat dynamic is that Paul is treated marginally better than Ted because Melissa prefers him. He's not a bad dog, he's a good kitty. Melissa ALREADY liked Paul and hated Ted, these are just useless extra steps, we didn't need the dog fakeout she could've just kidnapped him to keep him as a cat to begin with. Simpler.
And I know the other purpose of Paul's dog story was to parallel/foreshadow the ending to come, and give Paul a point of sympathy for Melissa so he decides to go back to her, but I don't think it works very well and I'll talk about that when I talk about the ending.
In terms of the setup on its own I just think this is needlessly complicated. It's already nearly halfway into the story when we actually get to the fucked up stuff, I think it could use simplification. Melissa always intending to keep Paul as a cat because she likes him is easier on every level and I think it works better! We can even keep the whole "having an image of someone in your head they don't live up to" if instead of telling the dog story, Paul's just snappy and mean to Melissa because he's lost patience trying to let her down easy. Melissa's desperate to keep her image of Paul in tact, so she translates it in her head as a feral cat hissing and scratching because it doesn't know what love is. But she'll take care of him, she'll teach him. She'll make him into the good kitty she knows he really is. He'll see. It still works on that level, I think.
Bill's Role is Useless and Frustrating
The whole bit with Bill in this story is that Melissa reminds him of Alice (cuz same actor haha get it), so he just automatically and unconditionally sides with her the entire time. There could MAYBE be something here about cultural bias and preconception - Melissa's a sweet, chipper, cutesy and feminine gal, of course no one clocks her as dangerous. A man being tortured by a woman like Melissa isn't something the average person would expect, it's part of where the shock comes from. But there's no real exploration of this, we never circle back to Bill at the end after he's presumably found out what was really going on. It's just a funny joke that Bill is an idiot and he never budges. He shows up in the climax to continue being an idiot and not even try to help Paul at all. There's no real point to it.
I could get behind him initially having a soft spot for Melissa and being inclined to side with her, if the deeper implications of that were explored a little more, and if he, like, realized he was wrong. I'd take it at the last possible second, even! Just something would be less frustrating than Bill being a complete dolt for the entire story. He's a bit of a clueless guy, sure, but I don't think he's THIS stupid.
And I don't think he'd mistrust Paul this much without question! Like, I've accepted that in canon the Langs don't see Paul and Bill being as close as accidentally implied in TGWDLM, I'm disappointed but I can be alright with it. But this doesn't even jive with their dynamic in TGWDLM right? I just don't buy that - even if their "best friendship" is more one-sided - Bill would jump to mistrusting Paul that quickly. That's his buddy! It puts a bad taste in my mouth it bothers me.
I'm also just not super fond of the "she reminds him of Alice" thing, mainly because they don't typically acknowledge the double-casting so overtly and tbh I think it kinda breaks immersion. That's definitely entirely a personal preference thing though.
Why Is Emma Even Here
I think I've said this before, but when I first watched this story on the livestream, when Paul did not mention Emma when Bill & Ted were bugging him about why he's not into Melissa, I fully assumed Emma was not gonna be in this story at all. A timeline where they're not together, like Perky's Buds. But then Emma shows up, and they are casually dating! Paul is very into her! A perfectly valid reason to not be into Melissa that he didn't mention because...????
And then Paul gets wrapped up protecting Melissa from Freddie and ignores Emma's call in the moment, and never ends up able to get back to her because he ends up being held captive. Emma asks around at Paul's work, worried about him, Melissa goes mask-off freak in front of her and gloats about stealing her man, and Emma, take-no-shit rude bitch-out queen that she is, walks away crying. She doesn't even get MAD and that's the last we see of her. I like actually find it a little disrespectful to Emma as a character. She's hurt and upset, yeah, which I absolutely buy, but she just lets Melissa get away with that shit? Coffee-spitter manure-dumper Emma Perkins just walks away??? I simply don't think she would do that.
And Paul just FORGETS about her! Paul Matthews forgets about Emma, never brings her up again, and goes back to Melissa at the end. I'm sorry but if I'm meant to believe he would do this there should have been literally a single moment (ideally more but One Moment would be nice) of him showing affection towards Melissa and enjoying how she treats him before the ending. Emma gives Paul purpose and drive, he adores her, I don't believe he'd willingly ditch her that easily.
It would be more believable if Emma wasn't in the story at all! I'm perfectly fine with timelines where they don't end up together, but if they're gonna make a point to include her it's a straight up waste to write her out this way. Clearly they had no idea what to do with her! I'd have at least been a little satisfied if she'd been walking by when Paul ran out into the street at the end. Looking for him, on her way to give both him and Melissa a piece of her mind. And in a true parallel to the dog story, Paul gets hit by a car escaping his fake owner and trying to reach the person he really wants to be with. For that version of it I think Paul has to die, though. If the rest of the story stays the same but I can change one thing, I think it works better if Paul dies in front of Emma and Melissa, just like Spot died in front of his original owners and Paul.
Or alternatively, write Emma out entirely. This can be a timeline where they're not together, Paul never got to experience being loved by her so he's smothered under what Melissa calls love, because it's something, it's the best he knows, and he's desperate.
Or if you're married to Paul leaving Emma to be Melissa's cat, build up to it! Don't make Emma an afterthought, make his established relationship with her an inner conflict Paul grapples with. SHOW ME Paul starting to lose his mind under Melissa's dehumanization and start to fall for it. Show Paul gradually losing himself so his decision doesn't feel like it comes out of nowhere!
Speaking of which-
Lack of Buildup
Conceptually, this ending makes a lot of sense for Paul. I think it's perfectly believable. It matches the pattern of Paul's endings so far - losing his humanity in some form or another and the new, fake version of him finding a twisted happiness. Under the right circumstance, Paul would certainly abandon his life and humanity for a tantalizing shred of promised happiness and love and comfort. I could see him choosing to live as a cat if he was broken down enough, if overtime he bonded with his captor and began to confuse her torture for love. But I don't believe it here because that's not what happens. What happened was Paul spent the literal entire story hating Melissa and doing his best to escape her, and then he was hit by a car and got brain damaged.
Because we see no shift in him before this, no hints at any point that he's starting to like how Melissa treats him, just a hard-left after the car crash, I am inclined to believe it IS just the bump on his head! Paul believes he's a cat now because he is brain damaged, full stop. And I just don't find that compelling!
And yeah, there's the aspect of him sympathizing with Melissa, because oh she really just treated him how he treated Spot didn't she, and he doesn't want her to feel the guilt of causing a pet's death. That's there, definitely. I appreciate it on the self-justification level of Paul grasping at straws to consider himself a good person and projecting on her. But as the CENTRAL reason he chooses to stay with her, I don't think it's strong enough. For one, it comes out of nowhere, we never see him start to think about this before the very last pages. He's "had a lot of time to think" offscreen sure, but this is a really drastic heel-turn to drop on the viewer at the very end, I think.
If we had seen any hints of a gradual shift, though! It would be easier to believe! A moment of him enjoying how she pets his head, missing her when she's gone, sleeping a little more comfortably at the foot of her bed. Something! Something where the horror comes from a quiet moment of Paul starting to relax and enjoy this.
It could work so easily, but there's absolutely no buildup. As it stands Paul's reasons for going back to Melissa are that he sympathizes with her - which is too sudden to believe and a weak reason on its own with no growing affection shown - and that he's brain damaged - which is lame and not compelling. Imagine if in TGWDLM instead of having an extremely well-developed tragic hero arc culminating in Let It Out, Paul just got hit by a bus on the way to the Starlight Theater and that was how he ended up infected.
Shocking and sudden, yeah! But interesting or satisfying? Not really, if you ask me.
Shock Over Depth
Hey Melissa has the bones of a legit exploration of dehumanization and abuse dynamics and bonding with a captor, and the idea of abandoning humanity in favor of perceived comfort, safety, and easy, fake happiness. But there's a clear lack of interest in digging deeper into the ground and uncovering those bones. The priority in this story is the shock value. It's nearly halfway in before the twist happens, and it's a good twist. They took time building to Melissa's freak reveal, there's lines that have different implications upon revisit. They make sure the twist hits.
But that means the entire rest of the story after the inciting incident - the actual meat and potatoes of the thing - is squeezed into the back half. It automatically allows less room to explore the characters in this situation in depth, and kinda by nature demands that this back half just be as shocking as possible to make up for it. We don't have time for any beats that explore Paul's psyche breaking down, him shitting in a litterbox is the important thing. Visceral discomfort is the priority here, not exploration of the presented themes or character study. And the visceral discomfort IS good, the Langs pulled it off successfully! But successful discomfort and revulsion on its own does not automatically a good horror story make, and in my opinion too many compelling things like strong character work and tight, cohesive theming are left criminally underdeveloped in favor of shock value. It makes the story weaker and messier, when it really had the potential to be something more.
I think about this story a lot because I really wish I liked it. It deeply compels me, there's a lot in here I DO like. I would love a version of Hey Melissa that lets up a little on the shock and comedy and allows the concept to sit and stew. Makes full use of it to explore Paul's detachment from his humanity and his compulsion towards a visceral, violent, forced removal of humanity and promise of happiness. We've seen it ripped from him and here we see him accept it and willingly, permanently shed it, and that would be so, so interesting if it happened as the culmination of a legitimate character study.
The Langs can absolutely pull off an absurd concept and tonal whiplash used for a legitimately effective character study, that's what Jane's A Car is and it's fantastic, it's one of the best Nightmare Times!
My ideal rewrite of Hey Melissa is more like that.
Paul's never been happy, and all he really wants deep down is to be happy and loved. A horror story about Paul being forcibly loved in a way he doesn't want, he hates, he wants to escape, but he can't help being smothered under Melissa's overwhelming, relentless, dehumanizing love. Being broken down into loving how she loves him, into wanting it because it's easy and now that he has it he's scared to lose it. Because having his autonomy and dignity may not be worth it if he loses her warmth and security.
That's so deeply, deeply scary, and ridiculously compelling. There's stuff inside Hey Melissa that could so easily be this, and I love that stuff! As a whole though, it's not, and I can't help finding it bland and shallow.
I need to talk about Duke and Miss Holloway as like a #1 Holloduke fan but specifically the negative sides to their relationship bc Matt Lang reinforcing that Miss Holloway also drives Duke nuts and he gets annoyed with her because she’s difficult to deal with….we need to talk about that more. Because she is difficult to deal with. We sympathize with her of course, in general she is a good person who uses her powers to help people, but like most have said, she pretty much lacks patience and empathy at times and we don’t discuss enough on how that is on Dukes part. Like imagine witnessing the person you love die and then magically come back to life in the span of a very short time only for them to scold you, gloss it over, and tell you to focus back on the mission at hand. Imagine being constantly dismissed every time you’re rightfully concerned and worried about said person that you love, but they keep acting like everything’s not a big deal. Imagine feeling upset, heartbroken and played by this person, but still inviting them to your wedding because you care about them so much and want them to come, only for them to make fun of your fiancé and then turn the tables and get upset at you. Miss Holloway is stuck and doesn’t have any options, but in the same breath, the hard part is admitting that Duke also deserves better and he has a right to be upset and confused by her.
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