you'll never know

all the words I want to say, but that I can never say to you. just a girl in love with a boy she'll never have

[wordsillneversay2u]

I told you you need therapy to fix what's broken inside you.

You said you arent capable of a romantic relationship.

One day I hope you find yourself in therapy. And I hope you'll find your way back to me.

[wordsillneversay2u]

But if I died today would you cry?

When you speak of me years from now will I just be that person you dated once?

When you lay awake at night, unable to sleep, am I the thought that forces you to toss and turn?

Do you miss me more each day?

Will I ever hear from you again?

[wordsillneversay2u]

Don’t get it twisted, I never let you go, but the fact of the matter is you never wanted to let me go and that is the most confusing and beautiful thing.

[wordsillneversay2u]

Everything is bad and I just wish I knew what the fuck was going on.

[wordsillneversay2u]

The way your eyes shine when you first said I love you.

The way you always make sure I'm ok.

The way you smell.

The way you try to get me to understand how important I am.

The way you get me to feel things I've never felt.

[wordsillneversay2u]

I knew the moment you were supposed to be mine.

I never thought is get more time.

The universe knows where we're supposed to go

And in this lifetime I've decided just to exist in this moment

I'm enjoying the time we have together

Without the doubt of the past or fear of the future.

[wordsillneversay2u]

You're my person again. You told me you feel like your supposed to take care of me forever. Why do you keep saying forever? I'm just glad I have you back.

[wordsillneversay2u]

SILLY LITTLE GIRL

I believed my own words. I believed there was no way you could say no. I forgot a  pen so I have to write my thoughts this way, but I have to get it out because it feels like a tunnel cut straight into my chest. I thought you’d be here. I mean, it is still early, but I figured you would at least say something. If you had said no I would have respected you more. If you had said no from the get-go I would have saved money, but you didn’t. Instead you got my hopes up. You took the cowards way out and won’t reply. I pray that for some reason you just haven’t seen it, but please just reply, even if just to say no.

This means a lot to me and I just want to hang out and see you. Fuck, please reply...

[unsenttextsuggestion]

please just respond to my text even if it’s just a simple no i need to know that you’ve seen it im going crazy

[wordsillneversay2u]

Me: offers of provocation.

Them: conditions of agreement.

Me: agree, please let's do this. Please, just fucking do this.

Them:

Me: *anxious panic checking phone every five minutes*

[wordsillneversay2u]

We have been flirting again. You basically hinted out that you think I could make anything appear sexy and then when I called you out you only responded to the other part of my comment.

You said you thought you should be more productive and all I could think was how I could fill your time again. I wish you would be productive with me again. I wish I could be selfish and pull you back in. Fuck I miss you so much.

[wordsillneversay2u]

Thankful that out of all the travesty of this year I met the love of my life.

[brandedlam3]

you put on your final suit.

i paint my fingernails.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

@markiplier @crankgameplays

[wordsillneversay2u]

Friday the 13th has been good for us in our little history. Please dont let today break the trend.

[wordsillneversay2u]

Friday the 13 2019,- got a yes for first date.

Friday, March 13, 2020- our last date before the world shut down.

This friday is friday the 13th and all I can hope is that something good happens between us on this date.

[wordsillneversay2u]

I just need something positive. I need a good sign. Not something that seems like a sign, but something tangible.

[wordsillneversay2u]

Good news pals!

I didnt fuck everything up between my person and I.

I saw him today and he complimented my new hair and I was so filled with joy.

I overreacted to imaginary situations I made up in my own mind. It was difficult.