WOREio

[woreio]

How to EXPERTLY make a HAM SANDWICH

Hello and today I am going to teach you how to make a gourmet ham sandwich. You will need the following:

Knife

Ham

Bread

Mayonnaise (for the adventurous)

Hunger

Now that you have gathered all of your tools, it’s time to begin. Put the knife into the mayonnaise if you want it, and spread it onto the bread. If you don’t want mayonnaise discard the knife before you hurt yourself. Next, get the ham. In my experience, ONE slice is soo little, THREE slices.... WHOA NELLY... But TWO slices is the best. Of course, your ham slice width may vary; for example my slice is often the size of a brick. My slice is also often made of moon rock. I also never have to eat and never make any food.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy your meal!

[woreio]

i forgot.

[woreio]

i am starting to feel a bit bad for keeping you all in the dark. what is the point of staying so secretive, right? haha. maybe soon i’ll tell you. i’ll tell you all sorts of things. all sorts of things, if only just to make them mad.

again, collective you. i will not come and whisper my secrets into your ear on a particularly chilly night. i won’t!!

[woreio]

why are ants so small. that was a silly choice. i don’t get it

[woreio]

they used to get so confused and mad when i said i lived on the moon. which moon? i hoped they would never find out. but now they know. i see them sometimes. in a crater. making out or staring. they still have their disgusting desires. they cannot understand. but i’ll protect you

oh, no. not you, specifically, reader. sorry. more the “all encompassing” you. you‘re not that special.

[woreio]

setting up card-board decoys only works for so long

[woreio]

can you acquire for me several thousand dollars

get your own dollars, moocher.

[woreio]

Good things to tell your "Valentine"

"you look like," "please go away" “if you were stung by bees you might look ok” “don’t stare at me in public but in private I guess it’s ok” “i would let you take home a moon rock if you visited but only one” “you look like you drool in your sleep” “if we were the last two people on earth I would become a new universe instead of talking to you” “I would simply be ok without you” “I mean I guess you’re about 98.8 degrees F” “I cough a lot when I think about you”

-Me

[woreio]

hmmm hmm hm hm....

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Rat-Poison

[woreio]

ever wanted to draw something but were sick of having to prick your finger to draw blood? what the fuck

[woreio]

movie theaters? more like popcorn massacring stations with video accompaniment.

follow for more knee-slapping good jokes "yeehaw"

[woreio]

i always interpreted them as cowards, but now it seems they are ready to pursue me. i think i should post more often... perhaps device a sort of... "posting schedule."

.

nah who am i kidding that's Ridiculous.

[woreio]

so ok the internet tells me that you humans are planning to build a space station on the moon? or something? uhm what the fuck--i mean frick--HELLO?! uhhhhhm. do i come into your house and build a giant metal slab with which i spew rockets out of?

ok like except for that one time

[woreio]

how do you

wrangle so many farm animals in a 24 hour period?

glad you asked mysterious glasses man! you see, when i was first invoked,

[woreio]

Question: Is WOREio associated with the Illuminati? Has this been asked before? Hasn't everything?

glad you asked, backwardsflow!

here's your answer:

backwardsNO.

I poem for you, I shall write,

out of sheer loathing an spite,

for to imply that i,

a universal kind of guy,

would associate with a human cult,

is straight up rude,

disgusting,

in fact, it's an insult.

[woreio]

you know what i do like? thumbs! yes, thumbs. ever had trouble picking something up? ever needed to use BOTH hands to lift something simple like that new cup you bought at my suggestion? well, it's probably because you don't have thumbs! thumbs are cool things on your hands that help you lift things! if you don't have thumbs

that's rough.

[woreio]

She wouldn't have seen me as a crumb. she liked me.