I am a phony
I don’t deserve the love I receive
I’m too afraid to let everyone know how spineless I really am.
If my self destructive behaviors end me, I really hope nobody feels sorry or at fault :((
Thank you to everyone who keeps me in mind .
I am not religious but when I’m at my lowest I pray and you are in my prayers .
It’s a habit I suppose, growing up religious n all..
I am begging and pleading and hoping to whoever might be out there, despite the fact I feel I am sure nobody is listening.
Despite the fact my prayers must fall onto nobody’s ears, I hope I might be manifesting some good into the world. Some good to all the kind souls who’ve not only done good to me, but good to anyone really. Kindness is underrated and a little goes a long way .
I still think about kind strangers from years ago. Your potential thoughtfulness might just encourage someone to stay one more day, I know it sounds corny but tons of strangers have helped me stick around just a little bit longer because of small acts of kindness..
I was very much ready to call it quits a year ago, at that point I hadn’t spoken to mostof my loved ones in so long and I was too scared to reach out , I wrote goodbye letters for weeks but the small acts of kindness + my close friends reaching out, despite everything really stopped me from doing something drastic.
I am so thankful I kept going. I still struggle so much but I am so grateful I’ve been able to make more lovely memories, the little things keep me going .
I have more too say but I’ll save it for a later date.
Thank you to everyone who’s kept me going. I’m so thankful to feel loved. I love so much.
I want to live .