No Longer Just Myself

Working on finding myself again...

[workingonmyselfagain]

Let’s do this!

Saving for a house by the end of the year!

[workingonmyselfagain]

It’s been a long day

[workingonmyselfagain]

So I am starting to move out some of my stuff. Cause he lied to me again! I am over it. I am still paying all his bills. So I looked at the txt history on my phone provider. He is already on tinder. We ain’t even made it to court.

[workingonmyselfagain]

He wrecked my almost paid off car… the car is totaled…. I am devastated… he wrecked it being reckless… this isn’t the first time. Called me a cunt and a bitch for my reaction… lead me to believe that my reaction to this is valid and then told me I was overacting… the only word I can come up with is devastated but it’s worse than that. 😭

[workingonmyselfagain]

Just trying to make it through each day!

[workingonmyselfagain]

Still don’t feel like I am worth fighting for…

[workingonmyselfagain]

Another day of taking care of the household while you sit on your ass

[workingonmyselfagain]

Work sucks. No one will listen to the rules I set in place.

[workingonmyselfagain]

Still don’t feel like things are getting any better.

His routine is to come home and lay on the couch and watch movies while I get the home and son taken care of.

I expect I will be separated soon.

[workingonmyselfagain]

All 3 of us are sick.

Poor baby has had a horrible cough all week.

I got a horrible stomach bug.

[workingonmyselfagain]

I am numb… I used to see a future where we were a happy family… I just can’t see it anymore. The things you have done to me have pushed me away. So far I can barely see us anymore. I am thankful for the son you helped create. He is a miracle… he is what has saved me. He is the reason I keep going on. You have made me create walls so high I don’t think they can ever come down…. I would like to believe with time they can. My feelings about it right now are looking like they aren’t..

[workingonmyselfagain]

I just want to be appreciated… I work my ass off day in and day out… then told I am not doing enough. I thought about writing down everything I do in a day. That wouldn’t do anything though… I am finally checked out have been for awhile. Now my husband decides to tell me… He doesn’t believe I do enough and actually it’s the exact opposite… all he does is go to work and come home and maybe watch the baby… before passing out either drunk or high…. While I do much more than that….. I am always the last in bed for the night…. And the first one up in the morning…. I just want to be appreciated for my hard work….

[workingonmyselfagain]

Want to cut myself. I tried and told myself I couldn’t do that cause of my son so I took bottles outside I threw them… I needed some kind of release I was going to panic.

[workingonmyselfagain]

Told I don’t do enough and I am already drowning… I literally do 95% of the work. I guess he wants me to do 120% now…

[workingonmyselfagain]

Was told to find someone else to fuck…. By my own husband…. Just don’t even know what to think anymore.

[workingonmyselfagain]

I am done.. I don’t want to do this anymore… I love you but I love myself more.

[workingonmyselfagain]

Is it worth it