More than a woman

I write, I yell, I laugh and I cry. But forming beautiful words to make you feel something will always be where my heart resides.

[worldofbrrrradshaw]

Where i’m from and all i’ve ever known you birthed me and gave me life and a place to call home.

[worldofbrrrradshaw]

no case & we ain’t showing no face..(it’s about the fit)

[worldofbrrrradshaw]

It was here, in my child hood park where I watched many phases of my self turn into the woman I am today.

They call you dead end park, right off the bronx express way I can feel the rush of cars driving fast brushing against my skin and I can feel the rumble of the metro north coming under my feet. Remember when I was a little girl and all I wanted was to see the train go fast? or when it would snow and we would take cardboard boxes and use them as sleighs down the big lumpy hill. Remember when the only responsibility you had in life was to just….be a kid?

It was here where my cousins and I would spend all of our mornings & afternoon (8)

It was here where I developed a fear of the swings (10)

It was here where I smoked my first blunt, got high and poured sprite on myself (14)

It was here where I watched my cousin have her first kiss with my bestfriends ex boyfriend (16)

It was here where I would cut school & hide from truency (18)

It was here that I came to for an escape when i lost my mom (22)

It was here where I screamed, shouted, poured my heart out and restored my relationship with god (24)

It was here where i met a boy on a bench that changed my perspective on life (26)

It was here, that I basked myself in the middle of the forrest, completely surrendered & asked the universe to guide me (27)

I will be 28 in 4 more days and it was here where it all started, so when it’s time to say goodbye…where would you go?

— “It was here” By CHÈ

[worldofbrrrradshaw]

Somewhere in my notes part 2…

[worldofbrrrradshaw]

Somewhere in my notes….

[worldofbrrrradshaw]

What serves you? What must be released to make room for something new?

[worldofbrrrradshaw]

I bet he had no idea it was going to hit him. No idea that he would once again come in contact with the woman that had changed his life forever, but it did, it finally happened once again.. This girl beside him felt new, they've known each other for a while and the way she was undeniably flawless was what drew him too her. It's like... I know deep down inside, her smile, her hair, her goals and aspirations, the innocence she brought with her. That's what drew him into her, that's what reminded him of her. And once again, there he was thinking he had finally found the woman of his past in this woman. You think there's any chance we might have both been doing this? Like for some odd reason we continued scattering around trying to look for each other in other people. I think about his reaction and I think about how things will be then, when he once discovers that me and Dave are as close as we are now. If anyone would've have told me that I would be in this position today, 3 years ago I would have laughed and shook my head no way. There's no way I would have possibly done something like that, that's wrong and I have too much love for him. For me to fall in love with someone he considers family? Na..that's not me. But you know what, it happened. I'm not in love, but I do care for this particular person. I think what drives me even more is the thrill of knowing what he would possibly feel when he finds out. Or when the news is broken down to him. He worked so hard to get out of that state of mind you know? He escaped it for so long, without saying a word to anybody he just moved on. Tapped into the first thing that made him escape. Maybe it feels like a dream to him, like it feels to me. Sometimes I ask myself if it all really happened. My biggest question is always "was I the only one who was in love?" Or was it all just a game. I want to know if it all was real. But then I try to tell myself that I should stop. Stop looking for answers and move on from all of that, I'm happy and things are going great for me. Since then I have been introducing myself into new things and I'm proud of myself for that. But..I want no more "buts" I guess I want answers. I guess I want to know what it all really was. Reassurance you know? But most of all, I'm afraid to find someone who can love me like he did. I guess for some time I was trying to avoid the very thought of someone loving me the way he did because I didn't want to believe that it was possible. I didn't want anyone else to replace him and I held him so high that I began to get scared every time someone got too close. The very thought of that happening terrifies me, but part of me is ready. Mostly because I want to stop the fantasies. I don't want to think about us possibly ending up together because I want to allow myself to feel love. Maybe that's what I really want to know. If the reason he hasn't been with someone is because of that. Because he doesn't want the feeling of someone else loving him the way I did. We were ratchet yo, and that's what drove us into each other. In a world where we were viewed to be or hold our self a certain way, all of that went out the window when we were together. But it needs to end, it needs to come to an end. I no longer want to feel held back. I want to love and be loved.

[liberatingreality]

Luxuries tend to become necessities and spawn new obligations. Once people get used to a certain luxury, they take it for granted. Then they begin to count on it. Finally they reach a point where they can’t live without it. We have invented countless time-saving machines that are supposed to make like more relaxed - washing machines, vacuum cleaners, dishwashers, telephones, mobile phones, computers, email. We thought we were saving time; instead we revved up the treadmill of life to ten times its former speed and made our days more anxious and agitated.

Yuval Noah Harari, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind

[promptsforthestrugglingauthor]

Writing Prompt #2475

"You could come back to me—I mean us. We all miss you. It's okay you made the wrong choices, we'll take you back."

"I'll only hurt you again."

"We'll keep a better eye on it. We'll learn to live with things, and communicate it all this time."

[worldofbrrrradshaw]

If not you, then who?

[dopeeeeeeshxt]

Honestly if y’all haven’t watched the documentary called “13th” then y’all must watch it

It’s on Netflix.

In this thought-provoking documentary, scholars, activists and politicians analyze the criminalization of African Americans and the U.S. prison boom 

After watching this, I have been even more informed!! 

[poems-and-word]

[midnight-charm]

Londone Myers backstage at Giambattista Valli Fall / Winter 2018

[cocteldemente]

View this post on Instagram

Feminismo en GIFs | @libbyvanderploeg. Hoy, en #cócteldemente . . . . . . #illustration #gif #sorority #internationalwomensday #lifteachotherup #feminism

[in-my-thinking]

think of yourself as a gardener your soul is your soil your emotions are your seeds your daily thoughts are your water & fertiliser the emotions you plant will grow based on the water and fertiliser that your thoughts feed them may your garden grow in beautiful colours

[tbrown-76]

It is a frightening revelation when you realize the enemy you are fighting is a figment of your own imagination that has taken permanent residence in the crevices of your mind. The fragility of the thought process intrigues the delectable secrets encased behind locked doors of disparity. Only to appear when the heart has been broken…

Tbrown-76

[worldofbrrrradshaw]

Facts

[tribeca]

“In real life, I’m just an actor. I play pretend. I tell stories. Your life is your story and the adventure ahead of you is the journey to fulfill your own purpose and potential.”

Happy birthday to the sparkling, spellbinding, and soulful Kerry Washington! 

[worldofbrrrradshaw]

Loooooove her