sniper. alcoholic. gentleman.

> Your name is PICKLE INSPECTOR. You are one of the top three Problem Sleuths in the city, because there are three of them. Solicitations for your service are nonexistent. Specialization, crippling. It is a brisk autumn evening. You are feeling particularly dazed tonight.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

[saxophonesandcuesticks]

Perfect. Here’s the address:

[REDACTED]

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

I’ll be right there.

> It’s a common misconception that you’re the smartest in your trio. Or at least you hope it is, because if you’re supposed to be the clever one all three of you are in…

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

You’ve actually been there a while. No dames have fallen at your feet or even glanced at your hat, and you may as well be wallpaper for all the attention you draw. Usually you stand out in a crowd due to your abnormal HEIGHT, but you’re slumping, and the club is bright and loud enough to serve as quite a distraction. It’s giving you a headache. You hope Droog doesn’t see you and you can go straight home to curl up with a bottle.

[saxophonesandcuesticks]

You catch the Inspector and you calmly head over to greet him. “You’re Pickle Inspector. Yes?”

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Well, there goes that. Something in your stomach deflates. "Yes, sir." You're calling him sir. Oh dear god you're hopeless.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Misskamora started following you

[kammy-baby]

worldofpureintoxication:

Oh, hello there. How do you do?

Hi there! My name is Kamora Eudora, and I am doing quite well! Yourself~?

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

I'm quite well, thank you. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ms. Eudora.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

[saxophonesandcuesticks]

Perfect. Here’s the address:

[REDACTED]

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

I’ll be right there.

> It’s a common misconception that you’re the smartest in your trio. Or at least you hope it is, because if you’re supposed to be the clever one all three of you are in...

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

You've actually been there a while. No dames have fallen at your feet or even glanced at your hat, and you may as well be wallpaper for all the attention you draw. Usually you stand out in a crowd due to your abnormal HEIGHT, but you're slumping, and the club is bright and loud enough to serve as quite a distraction. It's giving you a headache. You hope Droog doesn't see you and you can go straight home to curl up with a bottle.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Misskamora started following you

Oh, hello there. How do you do?

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Cannibalcardiac started following you.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Ah, yes. And you would be Mr. Boxcars? It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.

[cannibalcardiac]

S’right. I’m sure it’ll stay dat way long’s ya stay outta Crew business, pal.

But I’m sure yous ain’t here fer dat.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

I rather doubt we'll clash paths. How do you do?

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Cannibalcardiac started following you.

> Oh, that’s Boxcars! You’re pretty sure he’s the nice one.

Good evening. How do you do, sir?

[cannibalcardiac]

> Sometimes.

Hnh. Jus’ fine. Thought I recognized dat scrawny neck. Inspector, huh?

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Ah, yes. And you would be Mr. Boxcars? It's a pleasure to meet you, sir.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Mobsterx2 Combo

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

I see. Well, I’ve only met two other Pickle Inspectors, so I suppose that’s interesting.

How do you do?

[adamantinesmoke-deactivated2013]

Hm your alternates do seem to be few and far in between. 

I’m doing decently enough now.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Well, that's good.

[matt-lauer-likes-showers-deacti]

Reblog if I can come into your ask box when my muse gets bored

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

What's your relationship with Ms. Paint???

We're friends. We're probably closer friends than would be proper for the relatively short time we've known each other, but I do feel as though I've been close with her for much longer. I deeply appreciate her company. In truth, there are times when I'm not quite certain how I feel about her, but I'm certain whatever the emotion is is positive.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Mobsterx2 Combo

>Adamantinesmoke started following you.

>You’re honestly fearing for your life by this point. Your heart is in your teeth.

Hello. Welcome.

[adamantinesmoke-deactivated2013]

Hello there, Inspector.

» Tries to keep his temper, this isn’t his Inspector.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

It’s, um. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Re-make?

[adamantinesmoke-deactivated2013]

I doubt we personally have met as I have only ever taken an interest in two Pickle Inspectors. 

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

I see. Well, I've only met two other Pickle Inspectors, so I suppose that's interesting.

How do you do?

[nohochceh]

Send my muse an ask about their relationship with any character. They'll answer it IC, but it will be posted OOC, so that secrets stay secret. 100% truth guaranteed.

[saxophonesandcuesticks]

Perfect. Here's the address:

[REDACTED]

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

I'll be right there.

> It's a common misconception that you're the smartest in your trio. Or at least you hope it is, because if you're supposed to be the clever one all three of you are in some deep shit.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Cannibalcardiac started following you.

> Oh, that's Boxcars! You're pretty sure he's the nice one.

Good evening. How do you do, sir?

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Good evening. How do you do?

>Dear god, that’s Diamonds Droog. You try very hard to resist the urge to throw your computer out the window, but the only thing that stops you is the fact that you can’t lift it. It’s days like these you don’t…

[saxophonesandcuesticks]

That is good. Tell me Inspector, what has you so nervous? I have no means to hurt you. And I don’t want to either.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Forgive me. I didn’t realize I’d been coming off as neurotic, that certainly wasnt my intention. I’m sure you’re a lovely fellow with absolutely no violent inclination whatsoever.

>Alternates are different. Alternates are different.

[saxophonesandcuesticks]

Let me put your concerns at ease. How about meeting for drinks some time? I’ll even show up unarmed.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

There is no doubt in my mind that you hold the capability to quite easily destroy my person with naught but your own hands, although I do deeply appreciate the offer, as well as the concept of a public place, and alcohol. I do accept. Thank you.

[saxophonesandcuesticks]

Very impressive vocabulary Inspector. And you’re very welcome. But, I never hurt anyone unless I absolutely have to.

Now my next inquiry; When and where?

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

I thought I might offer that detail to you, if you would have it. The least courtesy I can offer is to allow a familiar setting. And I do thank you for the compliment.

[saxophonesandcuesticks]

Alright. I’ll pick the place, you pick the time. And since my crew owns a chain of bars and clubs, we could meet at one of mine.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Very well. As…hesitant as I am to meet you in your own territory, I did extend the invitation, so I suppose I rather deserve what may come.

[saxophonesandcuesticks]

That’s one of the few places I don’t like to fight unless I absolutely have to. But, thank you. Now all I need is when.

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

>You consider tomorrow. But postponing it will only give you time to start regretting.

Tonight, I think. How does seven suit you?

[hesalreadyintherobot-blog]

(im gonna do the sleep im sorry unu)

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

((Goodnight my angel

[gummiesanddogs-deactivated20160]

CURRENT OCCUPATION: STAY AT HOME DAD

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

I. Um. Wow. Congratulations!

[gummiesanddogs-deactivated20160]

DID

DID I NOT

TELL YOU

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

No, I think this is the first I’m hearing of…

[gummiesanddogs-deactivated20160]

OUO

IM GLAD YOU ARENT BOTHERED BY THIS

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

So am I. I'm glad you aren't either.

[gummiesanddogs-deactivated20160]

CURRENT OCCUPATION: STAY AT HOME DAD

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

I. Um. Wow. Congratulations!

[gummiesanddogs-deactivated20160]

DID

DID I NOT

TELL YOU

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

No, I think this is the first I’m hearing of it. What’s happened?

[gummiesanddogs-deactivated20160]

UH

PM HAD A BABY.

I AM THE BABYS DAD. THATS PRETTY MUCH IT

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

The mailman? Wow. Well, I’m very happy for you! Has it got a name?

[gummiesanddogs-deactivated20160]

YES! WE DECIDED ON PA BUT SOMETIMES WE CALL HER PENNY

[worldofpureintoxication-blog]

Wow! That's lovely. That's wonderful. I'm so glad.