World's Best Baby Names

A baby name resource for the discerning parent.

[worldsbestbabynames]

Dunkis /də́ŋkəs/ (Male/Female)

A Duncan for the modern age, Dunkis is celebrating its fifth year in a row on the Global Top 100 by finally making a move into the top 50. This sudden leap in popularity is due to the so-called Dunkis Explosion when, on August 1st, 2018, one out of every two babies born across the globe were named Dunkis. This incredibly strange phenomenon has yet to be explained by naming experts. Everyone agrees, however Dunkis is two syllables of sassy elegance.

“Don’t open that closet. Dunkis uses that one as a jenkem lab.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

D’Krunk /dəkrə́ŋk/ (female)

The last sixteen years have been something of a slow burn for names that feature an apostrophe. With the recent appearance of D’Krunk on the naming scene, however, it looks like the next decade or so will be a veritable apostrophic inferno. Where names like P’Dump and T’Perch have used the apostrophe with disappointing results, D’Krunk combines economy and elegance to produce a uniquely punchy bouquet. It should come as no surprise, then, that it’s one of the most popular names of 2017 so far, with over 5,000 babies being named D’Krunk in January and February alone!

“No, I’m D’Krunk. B’Gelt is my brother.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Zfedgit /zfɛ́dʒət/ (male)

The first true original of 2017, Zfedgit is a name wreathed in controversy. The subject of this controversy, of course, is which of the name’s two most common pronunciations should be considered canonical in the eyes of the naming community. One side argues that the first two letters should be pronounced separately, making it a three-syllable name. The other side insists the two letters should become one continuous affricate, making it a two-syllable name. As a result of this unresolved dispute, NameStats.org now officially lists Zfedgit’s syllable count as 2.5, a first for the site. Whatever side you’re on, the news is good, as Zfedgit is resoundingly beautiful in all its forms. Look for this one to shine brightly through 2017 and beyond.

“Zvedgit will be over at five to walk your dogs.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Cthuliarde /kθúliárd/ (male)

As beautiful as it is difficult to pronounce, Cthuliarde is an ode to hard work, perseverance, and the inevitable success these traits bring. Notes of eldritch horror initially grace the aural palate, followed soon after by the austere musk of legacy academia that lingers on the tongue long after enunciation. The subtle elegance of this four-syllable marvel will surely give your baby boy a head start as he begins his journey through life.

“Cthuliarde is proud of his third nipple.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Marvengelist /marvəndʒəlɪ̀st/ (male)

One of the quarter’s most striking 4-syllable names, Marvengelist is an engaging little number that’s just perfect for a brand new baby boy. With the worldly mystique of a depression-era magician and the heady gravitas of an evangelical preacher, this name has enough oomph to make even the most boring child seem interesting. Despite everything it has going for it, Marvengelist has been only minimally used at this point, so if you’re looking for a truly unique name that will turn all the heads, look no further.

“Marvengelist has a distinctive scar on his right buttock.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Rodbert /rɑ́dbərt/ (male)

At first this almost awkward hybrid of Rodney and Robert can seem quite pedestrian, but give this name a few minutes to get its claws in you and you’ll soon be singing its praises along with thousands of parents from all around the world. Casually elegant, Rodbert is enjoying massive popularity amongst all races and classes (excluding middle-class Russian-Americans, who seem to absolutely hate it for some as yet unknown reason). Following a meteoric rise, Rodbert recently plateaued at 15th place in the Global Top 100, leading some critics to predict a coming decline in popularity. Given that expectant mother and film star, Megan Fox, has announced that her third child will be called Rodbert regardless of its gender, we think it could even crack the top ten!

“Rodbert has been secretly peeing in the houseplants.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Cheresa /tʃərísə/ (female)

Rumour has it this 2016 name was first coined in a New England elementary school when a girl named Theresa was mercilessly teased for having a particularly fragrant link of chorizo in her lunch. While we discourage bullying in all its forms (particularly name-based bullying), this ugly incident has paradoxically given us something quite beautiful. Combining the saintly calm of Theresa with the rich, exotic spice of Iberian sausage, Cheresa has enjoyed a good deal of popularity this quarter. Some critics are calling this a flash in the pan, but we here at World’s Best Baby Names  are calling it ‘delicious.’

“Someone named Cheresa keeps sending me friend requests.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Politrixia /pɑ́lətrɪ̀ksiə/ female

Five-syllable names are generally considered far too unwieldy to make it onto the global charts, but this recent entry from the Hyper Futurist tradition has just proven to the naming community -- and the world at large -- that rules were meant to be broken. Having risen to 20th place on the Global Top 100 after only eighteen months on the market, Politrixia is now poised to move into the the top ten before the end of the quarter. This light, rigid, efficient name is beautiful to look at and fun to say. Many are calling it “The Name of Tomorrow,” and the way it’s climbing the charts, they also might be able to call it “Name of the Year.”

“Politrixia crapped her pants at the fair.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Seryl /sɛ́rəl/ (female)

Elements of Sarah, Cheryl, and — to a lesser extent — Meryl combine to form this fantastic two-syllable delight that NameTalk.org has just named their “Hot Pick for February.” Though the name has been around for several years already, it has gone largely unnoticed in the naming community until recently. This sudden burst of popularity can no doubt be attributed to HBO’s popular television series, Game of Thrones, which recently introduced the character “Seryl the Mother of Hogs.”

“Look at Seryl’s wonderful posture.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

T’Boot /təbút/ (female)

We’ve come a long way since 2007, when the “Shotgun Apostrophe” was the hottest trend in baby naming. Back then, names like B’Gelt and P’Dump had a death grip on the naming world. It was a fire that burned itself out as quickly as it started, but not without first making an indelible mark on the modern world. T’Boot is a strangely beautiful echo of this unfortunate trend, and it handily succeeds where the larger movement failed. Still a fringe name, T’boot is nevertheless working its way up the global charts one space at a time. As we’ve seen in the past, slow and steady can win the race, so don’t be surprised to see this one in the Global Top 100 in a few years time.

“Don’t talk to your grandfather that way, T’Boot.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Chosticle /tʃɑ́stɪkəl/ (male)

Chosticle is a guy you want on your side when you’re negotiating a million dollar contract, but ‘Chos’ (the accepted short form of Chosticle) is a guy who can party all night. Such is the enchanting charm of this 2011 original that critic Douga Knightly famously referred to as “A suit jacket you can wear with formal attire, OR just throw on over a Nirvana T-shirt!” Since its arrival on the scene, Chosticle hasn’t really had any bad years. Looking at the numbers as we approach the end of January, this trend looks set to continue.

“Does anyone besides Chosticle think they know the answer to this one?”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Duggluns /də́glənz/ (male)

A timeless staple of affluent Middle America ever since it arrived in the mid-1960s, Duggluns is a name that simply screams wealth and class. This solid rock of a name was first coined when Spencer Cabot III, breaking three generations of tradition, attempted to name his firstborn son Douglas. It has long been debated whether it was Cabot who misspoke, or the clerk at the Arlington County Naming Office who misheard. We may never know the truth, but wherever the fault lies, the result was one of America’s most beloved names. Whether your son is driving the speedboat or water skiing behind it, Duggluns is a name that will take him to the top and keep him there.

“No, Duggluns, I don’t know who your father is.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Thuthuth /θə́θəθ/ (male) Marthuthuth /mɑ́rθə́θəθ/ (female)

Legendary London-based name designer, Franco Rohm, has caused quite a stir in the baby-naming world over the past few months by releasing this bi-gendered name pair for free. This is an incredible gesture, given that Rohm’s handcrafted creations tend to run parents at least $50,000 each. Staying true to his reputation for being extremely eccentric, however, Rohm has complicated this generous gift by insisting that the names may only be used together, specifically on pairs of boy-girl twins. Rohm’s legal team has been doggedly enforcing this condition, issuing cease-and-desist letters to parents who choose to use one of the names on an individual child and suing any who refuse to comply. To pay too much attention to this controversy, though, is to miss the undeniable beauty that shines out from this perfectly designed pair of names. This beauty is no doubt the reason many parents of non-twins continue to risk almost certain prosecution by choosing one of these names for their newborn.

“There are two kinds of twins. Thuthuth and Marthuthuth are the creepy kind.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Vomidink™ /vɑ́mədɪŋk/ (male)   -- $29.99 --

The first of World’s Best Baby Names’ 2016 originals, Vomidink takes the old-world gravitas of Humperdinck and adds a modern flourish that will take more than just your breath away. With an almost acidic buoyancy that is the source of most of its charm, Vomidink is poised to sweep the globe in the coming months. Critics and the general public have yet to weigh in, but we’re certain that once they’ve had a chance to digest this name, they will be positively spewing its praises. The best part? It’s a steal at only $29.99!

“Vomidink always keeps a roll of toilet paper in his satchel.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Chinchillica /tʃɪ̀ntʃɪ́lɪkə/ (female)

The jazzy, snare-drum rhythm of this name makes its lengthy four syllables feel like only three. A modern take on the timeless classic, Angelica, Chinchillica has parents around the country (and the globe) praying for their babies to come out female. Having watched this name rise from 72nd to 45th place in the Global Top 100 last week, we wouldn’t be surprised to see it in the top 20 when the weekly results are released on Friday. Follow the action at GlobalTop100.gov.

“Stop touching my scab, Chinchillica.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Queejus /kwídʒəs/ (male/female)

Completely secular in origin, this new-era classic nevertheless carries a dash of Jesus’s holy pluck without letting this typically very potent flavour take over completely. But this is not the only reason Queejus has been making a substantial splash in the oft-stagnant waters of the contemporary baby-naming industry. The name’s unique structure -- a tight, yet airy, pair of syllables following an always-elegant ‘Q’ -- also allows it to be effortlessly at home on either boy or a girl. With so much going for it, it’s surprising all babies aren’t named Queejus.

“Ever since Queejus saw me in my bathing suit, things have been extremely awkward.”

[worldsbestbabynames]

Velvitch /vɛ́lvətʃ/ (female)

This name, created by the team at California’s premier naming house, San Angelay Naming, has been breaking records left and right since its release at the opening of the trading day this morning. It’s easy to see what all these parents are getting so excited about. Velvitch’s sultry brand of charm is captured quite economically by its promotional tag-line: “Like scratching an itch with velvet.” While a vocal minority of critics claim this name’s ample supply of raw sensuality is inappropriate for a child, those critics are likely perverts. Names are an investment in the woman your daughter will become, so ask yourself: “What woman wouldn’t want to be named Velvitch?”

“Velvitch? Well that’s certainly an unusual name.”