haunted_vcr @worldsworst - Tumblr Blog

Who the hell are they to tell me I can't leave my kid in the car?

Tomorrow marks the final day of a 3-4 year long crash out and I've never needed an astrology girl so bad in my life.

IIRC, up to this point, my life has been a gamble and I'm cutting my losses. My losses, let's say... they are 9/11 levels of devastation.

But just like with 9/11, I've spent enough time being dramatic and acting out in retaliation and it's time to snap out of it. RIP to my twin's towers, I guess. Every time I start writing this millennial cringe voice takes over, it's like mindy kaling is breathing heavily behind me as I type.

If I don't please Mindy she'll tell her manager Tina and Tina will tell her assistant Amy to call the final boss: Connon Obrien. To call him and tell him that I've been being too sincere. Writing is a job and the purpose of the job is to produce irony. And, unfortunately for me and my family, I haven't been producing enough irony to reach my quota.

But I can feel it. I can feel myself about to reach my quota. If I quota enough I'll reach the point of full ironic detachment mmm I can feel it i'm gonna bust

Suddenly my CBT workbook kicks in and I remember to be gentle on myself purrrr. the millenial voice is because i just finished watching all of Jersey Shore and Jersey Shore: Family Vacation seasons 1-4 - Duh! That post nut clarity. Does post crash-out life allow for shore time? Anyway, RIP rolling ray.

#rolling ray #jersey shore