why do i feel so strange?

an indie multimuse written by tess

[worldwell-a2]

     FEATURING CANON & ORIGINAL CHARACTERS from a variety of sources of literature, video games, television shows, films, pen & paper rpgs, and theatre productions.

[syngularity-blog1]

          DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE SINGULARITY IS? a mathematician named john von neumann coined the term in the 1950s to describe the inevitable point in the future when technology surpasses us, when it becomes able to improve and reproduce itself without our help. it is the moment we become inferior to the machine.

[webmasked-blog]

                               don’t you tell me what you think that i can be.

                                             an indie connor / RX800 by maxi.

                                  i’m the one at the sail, i’m the master of my sea.

[worldwell-a]

astrificare | angela.

        angela’s existence has been predicting other people’s wants. it’s been shaping herself into that, just enough, leaving them grasping for just a little more. wanting something herself has been…irrelevant. she wanted wyatt’s return, yes, and she has thoroughly enjoyed a feeling of revenge for all those things the guests wanted to do to her—but she had no choice, there. she has been built not to consider her own feelings, at all. she’s not been built to choose.

        she’s less outwardly confused than teddy, perhaps, but that doesn’t mean she’s any less overwhelmed by this.

       ❝ i don’t know. ❞ and she does not.  ❝ i was built to be desirable, not to desire. ❞

     So here they both are, then. Lost, confused, almost like children. What do you do when you’ve been handed true freedom, true life, when it’s exactly what you thought you had before? Teddy wants to go back to the life he’d always dreamed for himself, but it wasn’t real. And Dolores is... barely recognisable anymore. He doesn’t want a future with the version of her that exists now. 

     They can do anything they want. Teddy... Teddy doesn’t want anything to do with any of it.

     ‘ You think it’d be so wrong to just... find somewhere to call a home and let that be the end of it all? ’ 

[worldwell-a]

deputie | nicole haught.

                    ––––––––  she can’t be hurt with a  GUN,  right ?  not in this twisted fantasy dimension they’ve created,  just a train ride away;  like a mer-a-lago,  all over again,  like a universe without wynonna and without waverly by her side.  the whole thing makes her skin  crawl,  and not in a way she likes.  can’t be hurt with a gun unless she  DIES,  like every fallen body she’s already seen,  and she doesn’t wake  up. 

she opts to raise her hands in surrender.

❛   ––––––––  nicole haught.   ❜     name,  first,  as she backs up from her approach.     ❛   i’m … from canada,  just a tourist.  just tryin’ to get out of here,  same as you.   ❜

     ‘ You’re a newcomer? ’ The word tourist does not yet sit well in his mind. It’s better, he thinks, to translate it into easier, more familiar terms. They may prove that he’s still leaning upon his... programming, whatever it is they do to him, but at least he knows what this means. Nicole Haught is, yes, one of them. Dolores would find reason to shoot her for that and that alone, and... a deeply hurt and deeply hidden part of him might like to do it too. He can’t recognise her face, though. He’s never met her before, and she’s never hurt him and, as far as he’s aware, she hasn’t hurt a single soul in this whole, ugly place.

     Anyway, she’s surrendered. Even he won’t stoop that low of his own volition. Dolores isn’t forcing his hand any longer. He lowers his gun, only just.

     ‘ You wanna get outta here, you’re better off turning around. All that’s gonna wait for you back towards Sweetwater is a slow death. ’ 

[worldwell-a]

astrificare | maisie.

( @worldwell / rab / og call. )

        ❝ you was proper bricking it in there. could feel you shaking and everything. ❞

     ‘ What, like you were any better? ’ It’s easy ( ? ) to joke about it now they’re out, but... well, Rab’s still about five seconds away from losing it, maybe. It’s not great. Then again, that was sort of the point, wasn’t it?

[worldwell-a]

@astrificare / georgie.

     ‘ Uh-- Sorry, Medic, I wasn’t-- ’ He’s walked in on something he probably shouldn’t have walked in on. It’s only to be expected, of course; Georgie’s been through the ringer, and that has a way of getting to a person. Rab isn’t entirely sure she wants him to be the one seeing it, though. But he’s a good guy. He has to ask: ‘ Are you alright? ’ 

[stormlit]

                                  i was meant to feel / written by becca

[worldwell-a]

babelbuilt | brit.

“ nah mate, i get free rein to take the piss out of you for that one. you ran into a kitchen counter full speed, in the dark, to french fucking techno. it still haunts my dreams. ”

     ‘ Yeah, well, if you don’t shut the fuck up about it, then I’m-- I won’t let you see the fucking awful scar I got left with from it. So. Yeah. ’ 

[worldwell-a]

astrificare | tomasz.

         ❝ you have very strange idea of what shh means, kotek. ❞ maybe it takes him a little longer to read in english than it would otherwise, but tom also wants to appreciate rod’s work, he wants to absorb its brilliance. because it is. ( yes, yes, he knows he’s biased. he also doesn’t care. rod could write a nursery rhyme and he’d love it. ) 

        ❝ definitely not terrible. you’re the best writer i know. ❞

     ‘ You’re only saying that because you love me. ’ He’s not being completely serious, of course. Even Roderick knows he has to take a compliment and have a little faith in himself eventually. ‘ Do you think I could get published? You know I have tonnes more. Probably too much, actually. ’ 

[worldwell-a]

astrificare | niska.

        she should no longer be surprised by astrid, and yet she finds that she is. at every turn, there has been reason for her to leave, reason for her to accept her broken heart and not want to give niska any further chance to break it, and yet she’s willing to put herself in a difficult position, willing to give so much of herself to someone who doesn’t know what to do with that amount of trust.

        people don’t trust her. she’s the angry one, the cynical one. the one you must watch out for, or she might snap. 

        lately, the more responsible one—or at least, she’s trying.

         ❝ you are…unlike any human i’ve ever met. ❞ it’s a compliment. most people couldn’t be faced with the idea that their — girlfriend, lover, fling, whatever — has been lying to them about something as monumental as their species. most people wouldn’t still be here.

        astrid is not most people. and that makes niska feel more than she’s ever felt in her life.

        she turns her hand over, so she can take astrid’s. ( she never makes unnecessary movements. this is necessary. )  ❝ i wasn’t lying about this. us. just what i am. ❞

     It had hurt, at first. It still does, actually, a little, but Astrid is trying very hard to make herself see this from Niska’s point of view, regardless of how much she hates lying. Do you have secrets that could get you killed? she’d asked, and now that the sting of betrayal has worn off... who is Astrid to demand Niska tell a secret so huge to somebody she’s known all of six weeks? Even if it feels like longer. Even if it still does hurt that Niska thinks she could ever be like that. 

     It’s all out in the open now, though, isn’t it? And Astrid has had time to come to terms with the fact that Niska isn’t human. She doesn’t care. She’s beautiful, and sad, and brilliant, regardless of whether she was born or built. How stupid would she have to be to push her away? 

     ‘ Just promise not to lie to me about anything else. ’ She tilts her head aside, here, as she looks at Niska, squeezes her hand lightly a moment later. ‘ You won’t lose me, Niska, but I want us to be honest with each other from here. Can you do that? ’ 

[worldwell-a]

astrificare | tomasz.

         ❝ aye, rod, it’s magnificent, rod. ❞ it’s a terrible attempt at his accent; polish by way of uxbridge doesn’t make it easy to pretend, and tomasz knows this. he grins, and raises a finger to rod’s lips.  ❝ now shh. i have to read. ❞

     He tries to hush. Really, he does. Rod even lasts a little while with it, too, taking Tommy’s hand in both of his own and kneading his finger with great anxiety, but it’s that anxiety that eventually wins out. He hates showing people his work-- but what’s the point, otherwise?

     ‘ It’s not terrible, is it? Don’t lie to me after all, darling. I’d rather just know that I can’t write and leave it at that. ’ 

[worldwell-a]

@astrificare.

     ‘ You have to promise you’ll lie to me if you don’t like it. Aye, Rod, it’s magnificent, Rod. Go on, you can say that right back to me, even, I won’t mind. ’ 

[yoyowr]

[worldwell-a]

astrificare | niska.

( @worldwell / astrid / starter call )

        ❝ i didn’t know how to tell you. ❞ she has never felt this…discomfited about what she is. niska’s always been certain, aware, but now she is looking at astrid, unable to read her expression.  ❝ i didn’t— ❞ an unnecessary breath. she doesn’t talk about her feelings. she doesn’t need to; niska knows they’re there, and that’s good enough for her.  ❝ —want to lose you. ❞

     Astrid listens, and waits, patiently, as Niska tries to find the words she needs to use. And she understands-- empathises, even-- when she finally manages to get them out. Naturally, they make her smile. For a dozen reasons. She loves it when Niska opens up, for one thing, but... had she really fooled herself for even a second into thinking this would turn her away? 

     ‘ Niska, ’ she says as she leans in, still with that smile. ‘ You couldn’t scare me away that easily. ’ Astrid covers Niska’s hand with her own, here, but gives her enough opportunity to move away if she wants to. All this time, even with Niska holding her at arm’s length, she’s been piecing her together bit by bit. And, hey. The synth thing explains a lot. ‘ You’re alive, at the end of the day. Isn’t that what counts? ’ 

[deathwalksamongarchive]

god of war (2018) starters

❝  long way from home, aren’t you?  ❞ ❝  why do you even care? you could have just walked away.  ❞ ❝  i almost feel bad for you.  ❞ ❝  i can tell you a thing or two about family matters.  ❞      ❝  lucky for you, my schedule’s wide open.  ❞ ❝  they’re gonna be sorry they picked this fight.  ❞ ❝  i heard you. it’s not up for discussion.  ❞ ❝  i will rain down agony, every possible violation, upon you.  ❞ ❝  um, alright…that hurt a little.  ❞ ❝  you think you understand, but you don’t.  ❞ ❝  didn’t you hear that? voices. it felt…evil.  ❞ ❝  you do not want this fight.  ❞ ❝  truth is more important than kindness.  ❞ ❝  i know every corner of these lands, every language spoken, every war waged, every deal struck.  ❞ ❝  it should have been you. you hear me? you. not her.  ❞ ❝  only use this as a last resort.  ❞ ❝  deny it all you want, but you saved me.  ❞ ❝  you don’t want me and you never will.  ❞ ❝  they do not stop us, so they do not concern us.  ❞ ❝  only time you talk to me is when you need something.  ❞ ❝  that doesn’t mean you should lie to your friends or family.  ❞ ❝  will i see you again?  ❞ ❝  don’t leave me alone ever again.  ❞      ❝  you see in the eyes of a child.  ❞ ❝  i know you hate gods but you really can’t stay away from them, can you?  ❞ ❝  you are in your head. let it go.  ❞ ❝  it is wise to be discreet.  ❞ ❝  you are right…i do not believe you.  ❞ ❝  the power of any weapon comes from your heart…but only when tempered by your head.  ❞ ❝  wow, you’re so stupid. that your father’s doing? or your mother’s?  ❞ ❝  will we see people on the road? friendly? will they try to rob us?  ❞ ❝  smells like rotting eggs. is it still good?  ❞ ❝  you’ve only killed those deserving, right?  ❞ ❝  you’re sounding more like your father by the minute.  ❞ ❝  that thing was trying to kill us. it’s not like you don’t get angry in a fight.  ❞ ❝  leave. my. home.  ❞ ❝  you killed against my wishes.  ❞ ❝  it’s all you talk about, over and over. do something about it or shut up.  ❞ ❝  behind you, watch out!  ❞ ❝  don’t know, don’t care.  ❞ ❝  this used to be a challenge.  ❞ ❝  this place feels like a prison.  ❞ ❝  it feels like something is waiting for us down here.  ❞ ❝  don’t be sorry. be better.  ❞ ❝  kill for survival, not for indulgence.  ❞ ❝  can’t believe you’ve lasted this long.  ❞ ❝  in war, a soldier sees beauty in the blood of his enemy.  ❞ ❝  the winds of fate have given us a strange coincidence.  ❞ ❝  close your heart to their desperation. close your heart to their suffering.  ❞ ❝  you’ve had to kill people before, haven’t you? you’re used to it.  ❞ ❝  why do you say nothing?  ❞ ❝  you’ve seen it with your own eyes. you can’t hurt me. nothing can.  ❞ ❝  anger can be a weapon if you control it.  ❞ ❝  whatever it is you seek, i do not have it. you should move on.  ❞ ❝  when they find you - and they will - they’ll make things difficult.  ❞ ❝  there is one unavoidable truth you will never escape: you cannot change.  ❞ ❝  only time you talk to me is when you need something.  ❞ ❝  we do what me must to survive.  ❞ ❝  follow down this path and head for daylight.  ❞ ❝  heh. thought you’d be bigger.  ❞ ❝  you have a knack for ominous statemants.  ❞ ❝  just tell me what i want to know! no need for this to get bloody.  ❞ ❝  we all gotta take responsibility sometime, huh?  ❞ ❝  that was a waste of a perfectly good apple.  ❞ ❝  you think i’m weak, because i’m not like you.  ❞ ❝  but…you told me never to go down there.  ❞ ❝  you know, i really hoped i’d never see this place again.  ❞ ❝  until our journey is over, one of us must remain focused.   ❞ ❝  you must be better than me. understand?  ❞ ❝  did something change? the forest feels different now.  ❞ ❝  with power comes a big choice. you serve yourself or you serve others.  ❞ ❝  do not mistake my silence for lack of grief.  ❞ ❝  we are not men. we are more than that.  ❞ ❝  i know i was never what you wanted.  ❞ ❝  mourn how you wish. leave me to my own.  ❞ ❝  hurry! i’m slipping.  ❞ ❝  do not allow yourself to feel for them. they do not feel for you.  ❞ ❝  do not concern yourself with what might be. focus on what is.  ❞ ❝  we do as we please. no excuses.  ❞ ❝  your father can kill. are you going to be able to do that?  ❞ ❝  accuracy over speed.  ❞ ❝  you left me here. again. why don’t you care?  ❞ ❝  what, you want a hug?  ❞ ❝  finish what you started.  ❞ ❝  you know, for someone so strong, you worry a lot.  ❞ ❝  you are hunting deer - not chasing it.  ❞ ❝  i don’t know you and you don’t know me… don’t seem to want to.  ❞ ❝  killing animals i get. they’re food. but people… they’re just trying to survive too.  ❞ ❝  do you hear that? it sounds like someone screaming.  ❞ ❝  i’m going to cut off your head now.  ❞ ❝  it’s…it’s still alive.  ❞ ❝  we are here because of you. never forget that.  ❞ ❝  do not speak again.  ❞ ❝  your anger…you can get lost in it.  ❞ ❝  you don’t have to be the smartest man in the world to see that.  ❞ ❝  we’ve come so far. there has to be a way.  ❞ ❝  don’t you see? they never gave up hope. and neither should we.  ❞ ❝  you can change your path. it’s not too late.  ❞ ❝  i’ve been to many strange places… but this is a new one.  ❞ ❝  oh, cut it out, princess. you’re gonna get me all weepy.  ❞ ❝  you are too quick to temper. you a rash, insubordinate and out of control.  ❞ ❝  the path ahead is difficult and you are not ready.  ❞ ❝  you are not ready - stay back.  ❞ ❝  think i’m afraid of you?! you’re nothing to me.  ❞ ❝  stay by me. touch nothing.  ❞ ❝  you were gone for so long i thought that you…  ❞      ❝  you will always be a monster.  ❞ ❝  look at me! look at me!  ❞ ❝  you are going to have to kill me for that to happen.  ❞ ❝  can you kill something that big?  ❞ ❝  on our journey we will be attacked by all manner of creature.  ❞ ❝  so we’re gonna go toward the creepy singing?  ❞ ❝  why are there two beds in there?  ❞ ❝  slow down. your haste will cost us.  ❞ ❝  i warned you. you would not listen.  ❞ ❝  no, wait…i’m not giving up. i just…have to catch my breath.  ❞ ❝  well, this is it. it’s been an honor.  ❞ ❝  you left me alone to fight.  ❞ ❝  are you the last of your family too?  ❞ ❝  my mother made it for me.  ❞ ❝  fight until we stop or we are dead.  ❞ ❝  the last in his realm of all this kind and you shoot him.  ❞ ❝  come. no looking back now.  ❞ ❝  you’re more concerned with their safety than our goal.  ❞ ❝  i don’t think we’re supposed to be in here.  ❞    ❝  i’m…sorry for your loss.  ❞ ❝  i hoped that’d you, out of all the people i’ve faced, would make me feel something.  ❞ ❝  slow and old. you should never have come here.  ❞ ❝  that bow’s a little big for you, isn’t it?  ❞ ❝  earlier you said people might kill us. i’ll kill them if they try.  ❞ ❝  pain we endure. faulty weaponry we do not.  ❞ ❝  let me guess…you’re gonna be smug and say we shouldn’t have got involved.  ❞ ❝  no. you’ve been gone a long, long time!  ❞ ❝  if you try, i’ll try.  ❞ ❝  wow, uh…that was something, that fight.  ❞ ❝  you did not think it was important to tell me?  ❞ ❝  death suits you better.  ❞ ❝  is it dishonorable to grow old?  ❞ ❝  so unclean. so, so unclean.  ❞ ❝  you won’t stop me.  ❞ ❝  and i thought my family was fucked up.  ❞ ❝  i’m strong. i’m smart. i’m not what you think i am.  ❞ ❝  when i require your counsel, i will ask.  ❞ ❝  don’t you know when to give up?  ❞ ❝  listen to me. i can help.  ❞ ❝  you’ve taught me so much. let me teach you something.  ❞ ❝  okay. there are a few gaps in my knowledge.  ❞ ❝  the path you walk. vengeance. you will find no peace.  ❞ ❝  you know i love you. you just can be better. i know you can be.  ❞ ❝  let them go. take me instead.  ❞ ❝  i’ve never felt more alive.  ❞ ❝  no…you’re bleeding.  ❞ ❝  do you have any idea, any idea at all, what you have cost me?  ❞ ❝  i used to dream about getting eaten.  ❞ ❝  relax. do not think of it as an animal. it is simply a target.  ❞ ❝  try to find forgiveness, and we can start something new.  ❞ ❝  there is much about me i won’t have you know.  ❞ ❝  have you ever heard the term “tempting fate?”  ❞ ❝  your memory was a comfort in dark times.  ❞ ❝  she meant more to me than you anyway.  ❞ ❝  you are not yourself.  ❞ ❝  if seeing me dead will make things right, i won’t stop you.  ❞ ❝  i’d bow if i could, your majesty.  ❞ ❝  then we will go home. to give up this easily, so close to the start…  ❞ ❝  only fire when i tell you to fire.  ❞ ❝  not my blood.  ❞ ❝ nobody’s killed a dragon for hundreds of years.  ❞ ❝  are they dead…? oh! not dead! not dead!  ❞ ❝  a dangerous beast. we’ll take him down together.  ❞

[lesbianreginageorge]

niska/astrid + stolen glances