the holsteiner family

[wovenneighs]

for generations, this family of gifted steeds has ruled the stage with voices that could shatter chandeliers and stir nations to tears. yet beneath their gilded legacy festers decay, madness, and ruin.

the absent patriarch; known only as papa. his whereabouts concealed in mystery madame deborah, the mother; her aria silenced, her mind fractured by her own child’s curse. a matriarch reduced to vacant grace coffee, the eldest; the runaway daughter who abandoned the stage, fleeing into exile from the family's exquisite derangement hans, the prodigy; blessed with a beautiful baritone flame, ever straining beneath the shadow of siblings lost and wayward. ham, the youngest aberration; once gifted with golden voice, now burdened with pallor and a grotesque horn that emits the beam of lobotomy.

this is a side account, i can't follow anyone back from here!

also. i'm sorry. i don't know what prompted me to make this either

[kaztorinfernal]

a postcard has appeared at your doorstep!

@wovenneighs

Kaztor just stared at the postcard. Did the creatures drop this off? Because maybe he should ask Moon to tell them to never fucking send him stuff with horses on again.

Either way, he was tearing up the postcard. No. Absolutely not. He thought he was somehow freed.

[a-wovenblooms]

oh, kaz... you will never be free... not from ham!

speaking of ham, oh dear! look who's poking their head in from outside the window! no, he didn't open the window, he just broke it (again)!

[kaztorinfernal]

How did he not spot the broken glass? Did he need more sleep? Yes, but don't tell him that.

Either way, his red hues stared at Ham before it finally processed in his foggy mind, causing him to suddenly yelp.

How? How! How did you even get in?! This is the restricted zone!

Poor demon.

What do you want, Ham?

[wovenneighs]

nei-!

oh. oh wait. waste a second... ham began coughing and hacking uncontrollably. oh god- was he choking!? holy shit, you should totally do cpr on him, kaztor!

ACK-!

[kaztorinfernal]

No, he would not be doing such a thing.

Really, someone needed to tell him that he doesn't always have to try and help those who are in need. Especially if they're bizarre, stalking, horn-giving, sexual horses like the one who broke his window again. But he couldn't help it. A grimace crawled onto his face as he cautiously stepped over, before...

...how do you stop a horse from choking? Pat his back, maybe? Whatever, he was doing just that.

Please don't vomit on my carpet, please don't vomit on my carpet, please don't vomit on my carpet.

[wovenneighs]

he vomited on the carpet. (why was it so green...?) anyways, have fun with that!

oh, but look! he ended up choking out another postcard! how lovely!

yarn, white boy... yearn

[kaztorinfernal]

a postcard has appeared at your doorstep!

@wovenneighs

Kaztor just stared at the postcard. Did the creatures drop this off? Because maybe he should ask Moon to tell them to never fucking send him stuff with horses on again.

Either way, he was tearing up the postcard. No. Absolutely not. He thought he was somehow freed.

[a-wovenblooms]

oh, kaz... you will never be free... not from ham!

speaking of ham, oh dear! look who's poking their head in from outside the window! no, he didn't open the window, he just broke it (again)!

[kaztorinfernal]

How did he not spot the broken glass? Did he need more sleep? Yes, but don't tell him that.

Either way, his red hues stared at Ham before it finally processed in his foggy mind, causing him to suddenly yelp.

How? How! How did you even get in?! This is the restricted zone!

Poor demon.

What do you want, Ham?

[wovenneighs]

nei-!

oh. oh wait. waste a second... ham began coughing and hacking uncontrollably. oh god- was he choking!? holy shit, you should totally do cpr on him, kaztor!

ACK-!

[moon-vaisyra]

oh wow, look who stopped by to say hi!

hans didn't actually come to visit, he just really needed to use the toilet. and don't you dare suggest he go on the floor just because "he's a horse," that is a stereotype and kind of... horse-racist.

@wovenneighs

Moon stared at the horse. What in the actual hell was this? But then it seemed to dawn on her.

Or your that freaky opera singer that tried to fuck Koji, right?

[wovenneighs]

nyeigh

(yes. that means yes.)

hans nodded as he reminisced. oh, he was so young and in love back then... back when he was trying to impress koji... (two months ago)

now he decided to find someone else to marry! he eyed the lady in front of him.

hmm... nah, not his type. although...

neigh.

perhaps she could help him find love...

[kaztorinfernal]

neigh.

— @wovenneighs

Oh, gods. Not again. No, no, not again. He has had enough of these fucking horses.

Slowly turning around, he just stared at whoever it was that paid him a visit this time.

[wovenneighs]

neigh.

oh, look! it's a horse in a wig deborah!

[kaztorinfernal]

Kaztor just blinked a couple of times at what he was looking at. At... at least it wasn't Ham, he guessed?

But what the hells was he looking at?

Clearing his throat, he offered the horse an awkward smile.

Uh. Hi. Can I help you?

[wovenneighs]

debie shook her head, sitting down rift next to kaz. she didn't know who this red haired and red eyed horse was, but they seemed nice!

she to pulled out a whole bag of apples and began eating.

now, i don't know if you've ever seen a horse eat before, but let me tell you, it is messy. they get crumbs and drool everywhere in their vacinity, not to mention the noise of their teeth clicking and clacking together...

kaz probably knows this already, since half his belongings were eaten by horses. but still! gross!

still, debbie had manners. she offered kaztor one of her own spit-covered apples

[kaztorinfernal]

neigh.

— @wovenneighs

Oh, gods. Not again. No, no, not again. He has had enough of these fucking horses.

Slowly turning around, he just stared at whoever it was that paid him a visit this time.

[wovenneighs]

neigh.

oh, look! it's a horse in a wig deborah!

[wovenneighs]

Howdy

deborah stares. why are you a prestige of macaroni. why are you wearing a cowboy hat. why are you yellow.

[wovenneighs]

୨୧ new post ᕱ⑅ᕱ

꒰ 🎠 ꒱ ⑅ early morning run before an opera show. added red bow on my tail because i like to kick 😉

[kaztorinfernal]

there's a white horse standing in the rain outside your window. (how was he doing that?? five minutes ago there wasn't a single cloud in the sky...)

@wovenneighs

Peering outside, red eyes met the familiar white, fur coat. How was there rain? It wasn't raining in the realm.

Blinking a couple of times, Kaztor's eyes widened before he quickly ducked down. Maybe Ham had object permanence and he could use that to his advantage...

Ahem. What the fuck.

[wovenneighs]

yeah, no. not a chance. nice try, though, kaztor!

a loud crash was heard. ham had just... he just threw a rock at his window. as if that wasn't bad enough, a wet, soggy paper was thrown in right after.

UNBLOCK ME PLEAS

[kaztorinfernal]

Maybe a yelp would be heard when the rock came through the window, the demon covering his mouth as he stared at it. Then came the paper.

Curiosity got the best of him as he slowly took—oh, eugh, why was it so wet? He hoped it was just the rainwater—the paper and read it.

Staring, his brows narrowed before he poked his head back up, throwing the paper back down. Which… uh. It just sort of flopped down with a gross ‘squelch’. Ew.

You came all the way here, broke my fucking window, just for this?! You are so… so weird! How did you get here??

[wovenneighs]

when kaz looked back, he's find ham (incorrectly) holding an electric guitar. he began strumming it (though it didn't really... do anything. it wasn't plugged in) and singing... oh god, was that my chemical romance?

eugh... you can really tell that he traded away his singing voice, everything was off key...

[kaztorinfernal]

There'd be a face of both horror and confusion as he just watched what was happening. It was... it was something. Or was it nothing? He couldn't really tell.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked to his blinds and just pulled on the string, closing them. Maybe object permanence would come to him... out of sight, out of mind.

He also really needs to get his window fixed.

[wovenneighs]

oh, kaztor, when will you learn that object permanence is futile when you're dealing with a horse in love. also, your window is broken.

ham stuck his head in through the broken window, still... still singing. okay. oh, now he was singing a song by paramore. great.

[kaztorinfernal]

Oh my gods. Was this demon stupid? Don’t answer that. He couldn’t help but squeak when Ham’s head just… he couldn’t even say barged through the window. It was broken. But he did something!!

The singing was absolutely dreadful. Didn’t Manfish say he gave it up for that diseased excuse of a horn? Unholy hells, why did he ever think that was a good idea?

Covering his ears, he started to call out to someone! Who would it be? Why, his ever-so-dependable guardian, Xinalith! A special, quick little summoning that the taller demon had taught him for if he needed immediate help. For emergencies.

This could be an emergency. Someone’s breaking and entering!

Xinalith’s face couldn’t help but grimace at the… gods awful singing, their own ear twitching as they gently pressed the outer ear.

“Hells, what is this racket—.”

They started, before their eyes fell onto Ham. Ah. It was that horse who seemed to be snout over hooves for Kaztor. Blinking a couple of times, they just smirked, before patting Kaztor’s head.

“Enjoy yourself.”

Wait, what do you—.

Oh! And… And they were gone. Welp, so much for their help.

[wovenneighs]

ham didn't stop singing when xinalith appeared. he did, however, look at them from the corner of his eye. what were they doing here!? couldn't they see he was trying to woo their son right now?!

he rolled his eyes when the old demon finally left, his song ending shortly after (thank god). then, in an attempt to get closer to his beloved, ham tried to fit his whole body through the window.

and failed, by the way.

he was now stuck.

[kaztorinfernal]

Kaztor had to take a moment to actually take in what was happening. He was about to just bolt it out of the door and maybe hide out in Xinalith’s quarters for a while, but… but then Ham got himself stuck.

Blinking a couple of times, the demon stood up straight and just…

Uh. Are you.. okay?

Scratching the back of his head, he cautiously moved over to Ham and— oh, gods, mustn’t that hurt? He tried to walk into a broken window. There was bound to be some shards…

You know what, best not to dwell on it.

Pressing his hands against Ham, he really tried his best to help the horse out. As annoying, weird, creepy and fucking horrendous this horse was, he still didn’t want him to be… uh. Hurt, he guessed.

But alas… this was a big horse. And Kaztor’s strength could not amount to the size of this horse. Maybe it was the horn adding to the weight? He couldn’t tell. Oh dear, what was he going to do…

Uh, are you able to… move? Can you like… wiggle out?

[wovenneighs]

ham neighed furiously. oh, how could he let this happen!? he'd need to talk to kaztor about installing larger windows... this was simply unacceptable!

he wiggled his whole body in an attempt to get out, but... he only got more stuck...

but then he felt kaztor's hands on him. his kaztor was touching him! he whinnied and- oh my god, he just licked kaztor's face. oh my god.

he was... giggling now? i didn't know horses... could giggle?

[kaztorinfernal]

Contorting his face into that of disgusting, Kaztor quickly pulled away from Ham and grimaced. Oh, gross, now there's horse saliva all over his face. Hells, even some of his hair is wet...

Oh my Gods... don't... eugh...

Stepping away to grab an old towel - yeah, he was throwing that out after - he wiped off the saliva before staring at his current predicament. How the fuck was he going to get a horse out of his... his window?

Reaching for his phone, he peered through his contacts before sighing, tapping on Kalaren's. Placing it against his ear, he waited for the dialing tone to come to an end once he heard Kal's voice.

Hi Kal! So, uh, slight emergency. Can you come to my quarters? Like... like right now? Please.

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Answering Kaztor's call, he didn't need to hear anything else. When he made it to his quarters...was that a horses ass sticking out the window? He had so many questions, none of which he really wanted to ask.

Letting himself in, he called out to the demon.

Kaz? I'm here, what can I help with? Also do you know there's a horse in your window?

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

ham simply leaned in further, attempting to lick kaztor again. luckily his tongue was pretty long, which would be useful in... other situations. wink wink. (kill me).

as this all was going down, papa followed kalaren to... wherever he was going. he had been stalking observing for a while now... in the bushes... in the shadows... oh, what was he saying? oh, right.

he followed kalaren to- eugh, was this that red-haired fool's house?! no, papa didn't like him one bit! what was someone as nice as kalaren doing here!? he was just about to call out to him when he saw some familiar-looking hindquarters.

no

could that be...

son?

papa felt his eyes water as he dashed to ham's side, hugging his... uh, behind.

oh! oh, son! how i've missed you!

he cried, rubbing his snout against his son's coat, sniffing it and- okay, calm down, papa. that is still your son's ass.

[kaztorinfernal]

Grimacing once more at Ham's attempt, Kaztor stepped a little further back until Kalaren showed up. Breathing a sigh of relief at his familiar face, he was about to speak until the donari mentioned Ham.

There'd be a pause with them all. If this was a cartoon, maybe some dots would start appearing over the demon's head. Holding the towel in his hands, he threw it over his shoulder and placed his hands on his hips.

Really? There's a horse in my window? Oh, gods, what am I to do? That's quite a predicament. I called you here because my fridge stopped working and I didn't know what to do! After all, what will happen to all of my fanta?

Taking a breath, he pinched the bridge of his nose before drastically gesturing to said horse.

Yes. I'm fully aware there is a horse in my window. That is the emergency, Kal. He broke my fucking window and licked me- oh, ew, he licked me.

That reminder alone made him toss the towel off his shoulder. He was about to continue until the sound of more hooves came into earshot, making Kaztor turn to see just what the hells was happening. Because seriously, what the hells was happening?

And oh. Look. It's Papa. Wonderful. Can't he just get a moment of peace?

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Kalaren blinked a few times, head tilting.

Oh, okay. I can help with that.

He smiled. But then he heard...oh it was Papa!

Hi Papa!

Kalaren called from inside.

This is one of your sons? That's nice! Can you help us get him out of the window? How did he even end up here?

Oh, hi, I'm Kalaren by the way.

The donari turned to the horse lodged in the window. Oh the precious baby had no idea what was going on or the dynamics they all had. He just knew he wanted to help.

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

papa nodded, still cuddling ham's... ass.

ham, however, didn't seem too happy to see kal, if anything, he looked the opposite. he looked... unhappy.

he looked at kalaren, eyes narrowed, before turning his head to the side, exhaling through his nose. he made his displeasure very clear.

it was then when he finally noticed the old stallion by his side. was that... his father..?

ham gasped, so overwhelmed with shock and confusion that he managed to slip through the window. his emotions were the lubricant he needed. he then called out, off tune:

PAPAAAAAAA

papa winced, but nodded nonetheless.

yes, it's me.

oh, my boy, it's been so long!

he galloped his way into the house and hugged ham (not his ass) as they both cried together.

[kaztorinfernal]

Kaztor would've responded to Kalaren, but he was too bewildered by what was currently happening. In his home, by the way. Yes, in his very quarters. Oh, yeah, and Ham looked like he had gotten out of his window. Wonderful, that's one less problem.

Scratching the back of his neck, he leaned in a little closer to Kalaren before whispering.

Uh. So, I guess I don't need you to help with the window situation. But... I might need your help with getting these two horses out of my house. I... I don't even know how they're both able to stand in here, really.

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Kalaren blinked a few times. Did a horse just glare at him? One he's never met before? Did he do something and not know it?

Turning to Kaztor he nodded.

Uh, sure?

Turning to face the horses once more he was left in a bit of a situation. He didn't want to interrupt knowing how important this moment was to Papa but also Kaztor seemed to really not like them being here. Maybe he had allergies?

Um- hi! Uh I hate to interrupt but maybe this can happen outside? I'm sure it's a little cramped in here for you two. I could even go get apples? I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on.

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

oh, nope. the horses were ignoring him. okay. they were both speaking about... i don't know, horse stuff.

they then moved to kaztor's bed, the frame bending and breaking beneath them as they sat, while they chewed on some of his clothes.

neigh... neigh. (i missed you, papa. I'm sorry for hurting too drugs and mysterious msgical curses before you left. i... i didn't think things through, and now i regret it all...)

neigh.. (i missed you too, son. i forgive you. i hope you find it in your heart to forgive yourself, too. you'll always be my baby, and all i want is to see you grow into a successful, brilliant stallion. i always hoped that you'd have a clear and proper vision of your future. now, i'd just be happy with you living in the present. and perhaps... letting me be a part of it too.)

oh. oh, ham was sobbing even louder now. he hugged his father tightly

neigh! neigh neigh neigh! (of course! i love you so much, dad!)

[kaztorinfernal]

Watching them move over to their bed, he raised his hand momentarily as if in preparation to tell them not to sit there, but... ah, too late. Now his bed was broken. Oh, and his clothes! Wonderful.

Running his hands through his hair, only to then have them drag down his face, the demon groaned.

You have got to be kidding me. First, the window. Now, my bed and clothes. Why me? What could I have possibly done for this shit?

Oh, now he was pacing back and forth, still grumbling about it all. His house, ruined! Because of these... these... reunited, weird ass fucking horses! He just wanted a peaceful day in his little house. But instead, he had a run-in with his stalker of a stallion and now, his shit is broken!

I am so done with horses. I need a drink. Or two. Maybe three. What the fuck am I supposed to do to get them out?

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Kalaren didn't speak infernal, he should really ask Moon or Pax about that, but it didn't sound good. Not only that but Kaztor's essence was flickering wildly.

Not really knowing what to do he pulled the little demon in for a tight hug.

I'm sorry. It'll be okay. We'll get the horses out, fix the window, fox your bed and get you new clothing. It'll all be okay I promise. Just breathe. I'm here for you.

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

ham felt his sure twitch when he heard kalaren's agitating, grating voice. just as ham was about to lunge on him, he was pulled back by papa.

neigh (no, son. you must understand. kalaren is a person whom you shouldn't hurt. he's protected by some of the most powerful people here. i don't want you to have to bear with the consequences)

so ham reluctantly backed down, instead choosing to furiously chew on the first thing he found : more of kaz's emo clothes, his headphones, and a.. fllower crown.

[kaztorinfernal]

He wasn’t expecting the hug, but gods was it needed. Letting Kalaren just take the lead with it, the poor demon slumped in his hold as he just watched the two horses.

But then his eyes widened when Ham continued to chew through his stuff, only now with… anger? He quickly wriggled out of Kalaren’s hold, his hand raising once more.

Not my headphones!! Or the flower crown!! I just… I just bought them and that was one the imps made me…

Taking a deep breath to try and console himself, Kaztor decided enough was enough. Making his way over, he gestured to the door.

Look. I don’t know what the hells is going on, and I’m… glad you two have reconnected. But, oh my gods, can you please leave and do this elsewhere? You have broken more than enough, and now you’re ruining even more of my things!

Fucking hell, I can’t believe I’m demanding horses to leave my house.

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Seeing the reaction and how things were escalating, he began to fidget. Eyes going to the broken window, then to the scene inside.

Uh...there's always someone we could call to handle this. She wouldn't be happy the peace is being disturbed anyways...

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

before either of them could call m**n, the two horses had already stood up from the bed.

neigh. (do you want to go play catch, son? it used to be your favourite game as a child.)

neigh! neigh, neigh neigh! neigh neigh! (yes!)

and just like that, they both galloped out of the house and into the horizon

but not before ham stole a few of kaztor's clothes. he saw a bunch of girls on social media taking their boyfriend's clothes and wearing them to create nice outfits. maybe he could try doing the same. he also winked at kaztor on the way out. how... nice.

[wovenneighs]

you didn’t hear this from me hans but koji has a lover☹️

hans paused. a lover? again?

he let out a slow neigh, lowering his head. he might just have to give up on koji.. three lovers, and- none of them have been him :(

[wovenneighs]

Horses? More like whore-ses am I right?

Deborah just stares at you.

are you talking about her sons?

[kaztorinfernal]

there's a white horse standing in the rain outside your window. (how was he doing that?? five minutes ago there wasn't a single cloud in the sky...)

@wovenneighs

Peering outside, red eyes met the familiar white, fur coat. How was there rain? It wasn't raining in the realm.

Blinking a couple of times, Kaztor's eyes widened before he quickly ducked down. Maybe Ham had object permanence and he could use that to his advantage...

Ahem. What the fuck.

[wovenneighs]

yeah, no. not a chance. nice try, though, kaztor!

a loud crash was heard. ham had just... he just threw a rock at his window. as if that wasn't bad enough, a wet, soggy paper was thrown in right after.

UNBLOCK ME PLEAS

[kaztorinfernal]

Maybe a yelp would be heard when the rock came through the window, the demon covering his mouth as he stared at it. Then came the paper.

Curiosity got the best of him as he slowly took—oh, eugh, why was it so wet? He hoped it was just the rainwater—the paper and read it.

Staring, his brows narrowed before he poked his head back up, throwing the paper back down. Which… uh. It just sort of flopped down with a gross ‘squelch’. Ew.

You came all the way here, broke my fucking window, just for this?! You are so… so weird! How did you get here??

[wovenneighs]

when kaz looked back, he's find ham (incorrectly) holding an electric guitar. he began strumming it (though it didn't really... do anything. it wasn't plugged in) and singing... oh god, was that my chemical romance?

eugh... you can really tell that he traded away his singing voice, everything was off key...

[kaztorinfernal]

There'd be a face of both horror and confusion as he just watched what was happening. It was... it was something. Or was it nothing? He couldn't really tell.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked to his blinds and just pulled on the string, closing them. Maybe object permanence would come to him... out of sight, out of mind.

He also really needs to get his window fixed.

[wovenneighs]

oh, kaztor, when will you learn that object permanence is futile when you're dealing with a horse in love. also, your window is broken.

ham stuck his head in through the broken window, still... still singing. okay. oh, now he was singing a song by paramore. great.

[kaztorinfernal]

Oh my gods. Was this demon stupid? Don’t answer that. He couldn’t help but squeak when Ham’s head just… he couldn’t even say barged through the window. It was broken. But he did something!!

The singing was absolutely dreadful. Didn’t Manfish say he gave it up for that diseased excuse of a horn? Unholy hells, why did he ever think that was a good idea?

Covering his ears, he started to call out to someone! Who would it be? Why, his ever-so-dependable guardian, Xinalith! A special, quick little summoning that the taller demon had taught him for if he needed immediate help. For emergencies.

This could be an emergency. Someone’s breaking and entering!

Xinalith’s face couldn’t help but grimace at the… gods awful singing, their own ear twitching as they gently pressed the outer ear.

“Hells, what is this racket—.”

They started, before their eyes fell onto Ham. Ah. It was that horse who seemed to be snout over hooves for Kaztor. Blinking a couple of times, they just smirked, before patting Kaztor’s head.

“Enjoy yourself.”

Wait, what do you—.

Oh! And… And they were gone. Welp, so much for their help.

[wovenneighs]

ham didn't stop singing when xinalith appeared. he did, however, look at them from the corner of his eye. what were they doing here!? couldn't they see he was trying to woo their son right now?!

he rolled his eyes when the old demon finally left, his song ending shortly after (thank god). then, in an attempt to get closer to his beloved, ham tried to fit his whole body through the window.

and failed, by the way.

he was now stuck.

[kaztorinfernal]

Kaztor had to take a moment to actually take in what was happening. He was about to just bolt it out of the door and maybe hide out in Xinalith’s quarters for a while, but… but then Ham got himself stuck.

Blinking a couple of times, the demon stood up straight and just…

Uh. Are you.. okay?

Scratching the back of his head, he cautiously moved over to Ham and— oh, gods, mustn’t that hurt? He tried to walk into a broken window. There was bound to be some shards…

You know what, best not to dwell on it.

Pressing his hands against Ham, he really tried his best to help the horse out. As annoying, weird, creepy and fucking horrendous this horse was, he still didn’t want him to be… uh. Hurt, he guessed.

But alas… this was a big horse. And Kaztor’s strength could not amount to the size of this horse. Maybe it was the horn adding to the weight? He couldn’t tell. Oh dear, what was he going to do…

Uh, are you able to… move? Can you like… wiggle out?

[wovenneighs]

ham neighed furiously. oh, how could he let this happen!? he'd need to talk to kaztor about installing larger windows... this was simply unacceptable!

he wiggled his whole body in an attempt to get out, but... he only got more stuck...

but then he felt kaztor's hands on him. his kaztor was touching him! he whinnied and- oh my god, he just licked kaztor's face. oh my god.

he was... giggling now? i didn't know horses... could giggle?

[kaztorinfernal]

Contorting his face into that of disgusting, Kaztor quickly pulled away from Ham and grimaced. Oh, gross, now there's horse saliva all over his face. Hells, even some of his hair is wet...

Oh my Gods... don't... eugh...

Stepping away to grab an old towel - yeah, he was throwing that out after - he wiped off the saliva before staring at his current predicament. How the fuck was he going to get a horse out of his... his window?

Reaching for his phone, he peered through his contacts before sighing, tapping on Kalaren's. Placing it against his ear, he waited for the dialing tone to come to an end once he heard Kal's voice.

Hi Kal! So, uh, slight emergency. Can you come to my quarters? Like... like right now? Please.

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Answering Kaztor's call, he didn't need to hear anything else. When he made it to his quarters...was that a horses ass sticking out the window? He had so many questions, none of which he really wanted to ask.

Letting himself in, he called out to the demon.

Kaz? I'm here, what can I help with? Also do you know there's a horse in your window?

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

ham simply leaned in further, attempting to lick kaztor again. luckily his tongue was pretty long, which would be useful in... other situations. wink wink. (kill me).

as this all was going down, papa followed kalaren to... wherever he was going. he had been stalking observing for a while now... in the bushes... in the shadows... oh, what was he saying? oh, right.

he followed kalaren to- eugh, was this that red-haired fool's house?! no, papa didn't like him one bit! what was someone as nice as kalaren doing here!? he was just about to call out to him when he saw some familiar-looking hindquarters.

no

could that be...

son?

papa felt his eyes water as he dashed to ham's side, hugging his... uh, behind.

oh! oh, son! how i've missed you!

he cried, rubbing his snout against his son's coat, sniffing it and- okay, calm down, papa. that is still your son's ass.

[kaztorinfernal]

Grimacing once more at Ham's attempt, Kaztor stepped a little further back until Kalaren showed up. Breathing a sigh of relief at his familiar face, he was about to speak until the donari mentioned Ham.

There'd be a pause with them all. If this was a cartoon, maybe some dots would start appearing over the demon's head. Holding the towel in his hands, he threw it over his shoulder and placed his hands on his hips.

Really? There's a horse in my window? Oh, gods, what am I to do? That's quite a predicament. I called you here because my fridge stopped working and I didn't know what to do! After all, what will happen to all of my fanta?

Taking a breath, he pinched the bridge of his nose before drastically gesturing to said horse.

Yes. I'm fully aware there is a horse in my window. That is the emergency, Kal. He broke my fucking window and licked me- oh, ew, he licked me.

That reminder alone made him toss the towel off his shoulder. He was about to continue until the sound of more hooves came into earshot, making Kaztor turn to see just what the hells was happening. Because seriously, what the hells was happening?

And oh. Look. It's Papa. Wonderful. Can't he just get a moment of peace?

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Kalaren blinked a few times, head tilting.

Oh, okay. I can help with that.

He smiled. But then he heard...oh it was Papa!

Hi Papa!

Kalaren called from inside.

This is one of your sons? That's nice! Can you help us get him out of the window? How did he even end up here?

Oh, hi, I'm Kalaren by the way.

The donari turned to the horse lodged in the window. Oh the precious baby had no idea what was going on or the dynamics they all had. He just knew he wanted to help.

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

papa nodded, still cuddling ham's... ass.

ham, however, didn't seem too happy to see kal, if anything, he looked the opposite. he looked... unhappy.

he looked at kalaren, eyes narrowed, before turning his head to the side, exhaling through his nose. he made his displeasure very clear.

it was then when he finally noticed the old stallion by his side. was that... his father..?

ham gasped, so overwhelmed with shock and confusion that he managed to slip through the window. his emotions were the lubricant he needed. he then called out, off tune:

PAPAAAAAAA

papa winced, but nodded nonetheless.

yes, it's me.

oh, my boy, it's been so long!

he galloped his way into the house and hugged ham (not his ass) as they both cried together.

[kaztorinfernal]

Kaztor would've responded to Kalaren, but he was too bewildered by what was currently happening. In his home, by the way. Yes, in his very quarters. Oh, yeah, and Ham looked like he had gotten out of his window. Wonderful, that's one less problem.

Scratching the back of his neck, he leaned in a little closer to Kalaren before whispering.

Uh. So, I guess I don't need you to help with the window situation. But... I might need your help with getting these two horses out of my house. I... I don't even know how they're both able to stand in here, really.

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Kalaren blinked a few times. Did a horse just glare at him? One he's never met before? Did he do something and not know it?

Turning to Kaztor he nodded.

Uh, sure?

Turning to face the horses once more he was left in a bit of a situation. He didn't want to interrupt knowing how important this moment was to Papa but also Kaztor seemed to really not like them being here. Maybe he had allergies?

Um- hi! Uh I hate to interrupt but maybe this can happen outside? I'm sure it's a little cramped in here for you two. I could even go get apples? I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on.

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

oh, nope. the horses were ignoring him. okay. they were both speaking about... i don't know, horse stuff.

they then moved to kaztor's bed, the frame bending and breaking beneath them as they sat, while they chewed on some of his clothes.

neigh... neigh. (i missed you, papa. I'm sorry for hurting too drugs and mysterious msgical curses before you left. i... i didn't think things through, and now i regret it all...)

neigh.. (i missed you too, son. i forgive you. i hope you find it in your heart to forgive yourself, too. you'll always be my baby, and all i want is to see you grow into a successful, brilliant stallion. i always hoped that you'd have a clear and proper vision of your future. now, i'd just be happy with you living in the present. and perhaps... letting me be a part of it too.)

oh. oh, ham was sobbing even louder now. he hugged his father tightly

neigh! neigh neigh neigh! (of course! i love you so much, dad!)

[kaztorinfernal]

Watching them move over to their bed, he raised his hand momentarily as if in preparation to tell them not to sit there, but... ah, too late. Now his bed was broken. Oh, and his clothes! Wonderful.

Running his hands through his hair, only to then have them drag down his face, the demon groaned.

You have got to be kidding me. First, the window. Now, my bed and clothes. Why me? What could I have possibly done for this shit?

Oh, now he was pacing back and forth, still grumbling about it all. His house, ruined! Because of these... these... reunited, weird ass fucking horses! He just wanted a peaceful day in his little house. But instead, he had a run-in with his stalker of a stallion and now, his shit is broken!

I am so done with horses. I need a drink. Or two. Maybe three. What the fuck am I supposed to do to get them out?

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Kalaren didn't speak infernal, he should really ask Moon or Pax about that, but it didn't sound good. Not only that but Kaztor's essence was flickering wildly.

Not really knowing what to do he pulled the little demon in for a tight hug.

I'm sorry. It'll be okay. We'll get the horses out, fix the window, fox your bed and get you new clothing. It'll all be okay I promise. Just breathe. I'm here for you.

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

ham felt his sure twitch when he heard kalaren's agitating, grating voice. just as ham was about to lunge on him, he was pulled back by papa.

neigh (no, son. you must understand. kalaren is a person whom you shouldn't hurt. he's protected by some of the most powerful people here. i don't want you to have to bear with the consequences)

so ham reluctantly backed down, instead choosing to furiously chew on the first thing he found : more of kaz's emo clothes, his headphones, and a.. fllower crown.

[kaztorinfernal]

there's a white horse standing in the rain outside your window. (how was he doing that?? five minutes ago there wasn't a single cloud in the sky...)

@wovenneighs

Peering outside, red eyes met the familiar white, fur coat. How was there rain? It wasn't raining in the realm.

Blinking a couple of times, Kaztor's eyes widened before he quickly ducked down. Maybe Ham had object permanence and he could use that to his advantage...

Ahem. What the fuck.

[wovenneighs]

yeah, no. not a chance. nice try, though, kaztor!

a loud crash was heard. ham had just... he just threw a rock at his window. as if that wasn't bad enough, a wet, soggy paper was thrown in right after.

UNBLOCK ME PLEAS

[kaztorinfernal]

Maybe a yelp would be heard when the rock came through the window, the demon covering his mouth as he stared at it. Then came the paper.

Curiosity got the best of him as he slowly took—oh, eugh, why was it so wet? He hoped it was just the rainwater—the paper and read it.

Staring, his brows narrowed before he poked his head back up, throwing the paper back down. Which… uh. It just sort of flopped down with a gross ‘squelch’. Ew.

You came all the way here, broke my fucking window, just for this?! You are so… so weird! How did you get here??

[wovenneighs]

when kaz looked back, he's find ham (incorrectly) holding an electric guitar. he began strumming it (though it didn't really... do anything. it wasn't plugged in) and singing... oh god, was that my chemical romance?

eugh... you can really tell that he traded away his singing voice, everything was off key...

[kaztorinfernal]

There'd be a face of both horror and confusion as he just watched what was happening. It was... it was something. Or was it nothing? He couldn't really tell.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked to his blinds and just pulled on the string, closing them. Maybe object permanence would come to him... out of sight, out of mind.

He also really needs to get his window fixed.

[wovenneighs]

oh, kaztor, when will you learn that object permanence is futile when you're dealing with a horse in love. also, your window is broken.

ham stuck his head in through the broken window, still... still singing. okay. oh, now he was singing a song by paramore. great.

[kaztorinfernal]

Oh my gods. Was this demon stupid? Don’t answer that. He couldn’t help but squeak when Ham’s head just… he couldn’t even say barged through the window. It was broken. But he did something!!

The singing was absolutely dreadful. Didn’t Manfish say he gave it up for that diseased excuse of a horn? Unholy hells, why did he ever think that was a good idea?

Covering his ears, he started to call out to someone! Who would it be? Why, his ever-so-dependable guardian, Xinalith! A special, quick little summoning that the taller demon had taught him for if he needed immediate help. For emergencies.

This could be an emergency. Someone’s breaking and entering!

Xinalith’s face couldn’t help but grimace at the… gods awful singing, their own ear twitching as they gently pressed the outer ear.

“Hells, what is this racket—.”

They started, before their eyes fell onto Ham. Ah. It was that horse who seemed to be snout over hooves for Kaztor. Blinking a couple of times, they just smirked, before patting Kaztor’s head.

“Enjoy yourself.”

Wait, what do you—.

Oh! And… And they were gone. Welp, so much for their help.

[wovenneighs]

ham didn't stop singing when xinalith appeared. he did, however, look at them from the corner of his eye. what were they doing here!? couldn't they see he was trying to woo their son right now?!

he rolled his eyes when the old demon finally left, his song ending shortly after (thank god). then, in an attempt to get closer to his beloved, ham tried to fit his whole body through the window.

and failed, by the way.

he was now stuck.

[kaztorinfernal]

Kaztor had to take a moment to actually take in what was happening. He was about to just bolt it out of the door and maybe hide out in Xinalith’s quarters for a while, but… but then Ham got himself stuck.

Blinking a couple of times, the demon stood up straight and just…

Uh. Are you.. okay?

Scratching the back of his head, he cautiously moved over to Ham and— oh, gods, mustn’t that hurt? He tried to walk into a broken window. There was bound to be some shards…

You know what, best not to dwell on it.

Pressing his hands against Ham, he really tried his best to help the horse out. As annoying, weird, creepy and fucking horrendous this horse was, he still didn’t want him to be… uh. Hurt, he guessed.

But alas… this was a big horse. And Kaztor’s strength could not amount to the size of this horse. Maybe it was the horn adding to the weight? He couldn’t tell. Oh dear, what was he going to do…

Uh, are you able to… move? Can you like… wiggle out?

[wovenneighs]

ham neighed furiously. oh, how could he let this happen!? he'd need to talk to kaztor about installing larger windows... this was simply unacceptable!

he wiggled his whole body in an attempt to get out, but... he only got more stuck...

but then he felt kaztor's hands on him. his kaztor was touching him! he whinnied and- oh my god, he just licked kaztor's face. oh my god.

he was... giggling now? i didn't know horses... could giggle?

[kaztorinfernal]

Contorting his face into that of disgusting, Kaztor quickly pulled away from Ham and grimaced. Oh, gross, now there's horse saliva all over his face. Hells, even some of his hair is wet...

Oh my Gods... don't... eugh...

Stepping away to grab an old towel - yeah, he was throwing that out after - he wiped off the saliva before staring at his current predicament. How the fuck was he going to get a horse out of his... his window?

Reaching for his phone, he peered through his contacts before sighing, tapping on Kalaren's. Placing it against his ear, he waited for the dialing tone to come to an end once he heard Kal's voice.

Hi Kal! So, uh, slight emergency. Can you come to my quarters? Like... like right now? Please.

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Answering Kaztor's call, he didn't need to hear anything else. When he made it to his quarters...was that a horses ass sticking out the window? He had so many questions, none of which he really wanted to ask.

Letting himself in, he called out to the demon.

Kaz? I'm here, what can I help with? Also do you know there's a horse in your window?

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

ham simply leaned in further, attempting to lick kaztor again. luckily his tongue was pretty long, which would be useful in... other situations. wink wink. (kill me).

as this all was going down, papa followed kalaren to... wherever he was going. he had been stalking observing for a while now... in the bushes... in the shadows... oh, what was he saying? oh, right.

he followed kalaren to- eugh, was this that red-haired fool's house?! no, papa didn't like him one bit! what was someone as nice as kalaren doing here!? he was just about to call out to him when he saw some familiar-looking hindquarters.

no

could that be...

son?

papa felt his eyes water as he dashed to ham's side, hugging his... uh, behind.

oh! oh, son! how i've missed you!

he cried, rubbing his snout against his son's coat, sniffing it and- okay, calm down, papa. that is still your son's ass.

[kaztorinfernal]

Grimacing once more at Ham's attempt, Kaztor stepped a little further back until Kalaren showed up. Breathing a sigh of relief at his familiar face, he was about to speak until the donari mentioned Ham.

There'd be a pause with them all. If this was a cartoon, maybe some dots would start appearing over the demon's head. Holding the towel in his hands, he threw it over his shoulder and placed his hands on his hips.

Really? There's a horse in my window? Oh, gods, what am I to do? That's quite a predicament. I called you here because my fridge stopped working and I didn't know what to do! After all, what will happen to all of my fanta?

Taking a breath, he pinched the bridge of his nose before drastically gesturing to said horse.

Yes. I'm fully aware there is a horse in my window. That is the emergency, Kal. He broke my fucking window and licked me- oh, ew, he licked me.

That reminder alone made him toss the towel off his shoulder. He was about to continue until the sound of more hooves came into earshot, making Kaztor turn to see just what the hells was happening. Because seriously, what the hells was happening?

And oh. Look. It's Papa. Wonderful. Can't he just get a moment of peace?

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Kalaren blinked a few times, head tilting.

Oh, okay. I can help with that.

He smiled. But then he heard...oh it was Papa!

Hi Papa!

Kalaren called from inside.

This is one of your sons? That's nice! Can you help us get him out of the window? How did he even end up here?

Oh, hi, I'm Kalaren by the way.

The donari turned to the horse lodged in the window. Oh the precious baby had no idea what was going on or the dynamics they all had. He just knew he wanted to help.

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

papa nodded, still cuddling ham's... ass.

ham, however, didn't seem too happy to see kal, if anything, he looked the opposite. he looked... unhappy.

he looked at kalaren, eyes narrowed, before turning his head to the side, exhaling through his nose. he made his displeasure very clear.

it was then when he finally noticed the old stallion by his side. was that... his father..?

ham gasped, so overwhelmed with shock and confusion that he managed to slip through the window. his emotions were the lubricant he needed. he then called out, off tune:

PAPAAAAAAA

papa winced, but nodded nonetheless.

yes, it's me.

oh, my boy, it's been so long!

he galloped his way into the house and hugged ham (not his ass) as they both cried together.

[kaztorinfernal]

Kaztor would've responded to Kalaren, but he was too bewildered by what was currently happening. In his home, by the way. Yes, in his very quarters. Oh, yeah, and Ham looked like he had gotten out of his window. Wonderful, that's one less problem.

Scratching the back of his neck, he leaned in a little closer to Kalaren before whispering.

Uh. So, I guess I don't need you to help with the window situation. But... I might need your help with getting these two horses out of my house. I... I don't even know how they're both able to stand in here, really.

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Kalaren blinked a few times. Did a horse just glare at him? One he's never met before? Did he do something and not know it?

Turning to Kaztor he nodded.

Uh, sure?

Turning to face the horses once more he was left in a bit of a situation. He didn't want to interrupt knowing how important this moment was to Papa but also Kaztor seemed to really not like them being here. Maybe he had allergies?

Um- hi! Uh I hate to interrupt but maybe this can happen outside? I'm sure it's a little cramped in here for you two. I could even go get apples? I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on.

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

oh, nope. the horses were ignoring him. okay. they were both speaking about... i don't know, horse stuff.

they then moved to kaztor's bed, the frame bending and breaking beneath them as they sat, while they chewed on some of his clothes.

neigh... neigh. (i missed you, papa. I'm sorry for hurting too drugs and mysterious msgical curses before you left. i... i didn't think things through, and now i regret it all...)

neigh.. (i missed you too, son. i forgive you. i hope you find it in your heart to forgive yourself, too. you'll always be my baby, and all i want is to see you grow into a successful, brilliant stallion. i always hoped that you'd have a clear and proper vision of your future. now, i'd just be happy with you living in the present. and perhaps... letting me be a part of it too.)

oh. oh, ham was sobbing even louder now. he hugged his father tightly

neigh! neigh neigh neigh! (of course! i love you so much, dad!)

[kaztorinfernal]

there's a white horse standing in the rain outside your window. (how was he doing that?? five minutes ago there wasn't a single cloud in the sky...)

@wovenneighs

Peering outside, red eyes met the familiar white, fur coat. How was there rain? It wasn't raining in the realm.

Blinking a couple of times, Kaztor's eyes widened before he quickly ducked down. Maybe Ham had object permanence and he could use that to his advantage...

Ahem. What the fuck.

[wovenneighs]

yeah, no. not a chance. nice try, though, kaztor!

a loud crash was heard. ham had just... he just threw a rock at his window. as if that wasn't bad enough, a wet, soggy paper was thrown in right after.

UNBLOCK ME PLEAS

[kaztorinfernal]

Maybe a yelp would be heard when the rock came through the window, the demon covering his mouth as he stared at it. Then came the paper.

Curiosity got the best of him as he slowly took—oh, eugh, why was it so wet? He hoped it was just the rainwater—the paper and read it.

Staring, his brows narrowed before he poked his head back up, throwing the paper back down. Which… uh. It just sort of flopped down with a gross ‘squelch’. Ew.

You came all the way here, broke my fucking window, just for this?! You are so… so weird! How did you get here??

[wovenneighs]

when kaz looked back, he's find ham (incorrectly) holding an electric guitar. he began strumming it (though it didn't really... do anything. it wasn't plugged in) and singing... oh god, was that my chemical romance?

eugh... you can really tell that he traded away his singing voice, everything was off key...

[kaztorinfernal]

There'd be a face of both horror and confusion as he just watched what was happening. It was... it was something. Or was it nothing? He couldn't really tell.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked to his blinds and just pulled on the string, closing them. Maybe object permanence would come to him... out of sight, out of mind.

He also really needs to get his window fixed.

[wovenneighs]

oh, kaztor, when will you learn that object permanence is futile when you're dealing with a horse in love. also, your window is broken.

ham stuck his head in through the broken window, still... still singing. okay. oh, now he was singing a song by paramore. great.

[kaztorinfernal]

Oh my gods. Was this demon stupid? Don’t answer that. He couldn’t help but squeak when Ham’s head just… he couldn’t even say barged through the window. It was broken. But he did something!!

The singing was absolutely dreadful. Didn’t Manfish say he gave it up for that diseased excuse of a horn? Unholy hells, why did he ever think that was a good idea?

Covering his ears, he started to call out to someone! Who would it be? Why, his ever-so-dependable guardian, Xinalith! A special, quick little summoning that the taller demon had taught him for if he needed immediate help. For emergencies.

This could be an emergency. Someone’s breaking and entering!

Xinalith’s face couldn’t help but grimace at the… gods awful singing, their own ear twitching as they gently pressed the outer ear.

“Hells, what is this racket—.”

They started, before their eyes fell onto Ham. Ah. It was that horse who seemed to be snout over hooves for Kaztor. Blinking a couple of times, they just smirked, before patting Kaztor’s head.

“Enjoy yourself.”

Wait, what do you—.

Oh! And… And they were gone. Welp, so much for their help.

[wovenneighs]

ham didn't stop singing when xinalith appeared. he did, however, look at them from the corner of his eye. what were they doing here!? couldn't they see he was trying to woo their son right now?!

he rolled his eyes when the old demon finally left, his song ending shortly after (thank god). then, in an attempt to get closer to his beloved, ham tried to fit his whole body through the window.

and failed, by the way.

he was now stuck.

[kaztorinfernal]

Kaztor had to take a moment to actually take in what was happening. He was about to just bolt it out of the door and maybe hide out in Xinalith’s quarters for a while, but… but then Ham got himself stuck.

Blinking a couple of times, the demon stood up straight and just…

Uh. Are you.. okay?

Scratching the back of his head, he cautiously moved over to Ham and— oh, gods, mustn’t that hurt? He tried to walk into a broken window. There was bound to be some shards…

You know what, best not to dwell on it.

Pressing his hands against Ham, he really tried his best to help the horse out. As annoying, weird, creepy and fucking horrendous this horse was, he still didn’t want him to be… uh. Hurt, he guessed.

But alas… this was a big horse. And Kaztor’s strength could not amount to the size of this horse. Maybe it was the horn adding to the weight? He couldn’t tell. Oh dear, what was he going to do…

Uh, are you able to… move? Can you like… wiggle out?

[wovenneighs]

ham neighed furiously. oh, how could he let this happen!? he'd need to talk to kaztor about installing larger windows... this was simply unacceptable!

he wiggled his whole body in an attempt to get out, but... he only got more stuck...

but then he felt kaztor's hands on him. his kaztor was touching him! he whinnied and- oh my god, he just licked kaztor's face. oh my god.

he was... giggling now? i didn't know horses... could giggle?

[kaztorinfernal]

Contorting his face into that of disgusting, Kaztor quickly pulled away from Ham and grimaced. Oh, gross, now there's horse saliva all over his face. Hells, even some of his hair is wet...

Oh my Gods... don't... eugh...

Stepping away to grab an old towel - yeah, he was throwing that out after - he wiped off the saliva before staring at his current predicament. How the fuck was he going to get a horse out of his... his window?

Reaching for his phone, he peered through his contacts before sighing, tapping on Kalaren's. Placing it against his ear, he waited for the dialing tone to come to an end once he heard Kal's voice.

Hi Kal! So, uh, slight emergency. Can you come to my quarters? Like... like right now? Please.

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Answering Kaztor's call, he didn't need to hear anything else. When he made it to his quarters...was that a horses ass sticking out the window? He had so many questions, none of which he really wanted to ask.

Letting himself in, he called out to the demon.

Kaz? I'm here, what can I help with? Also do you know there's a horse in your window?

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

ham simply leaned in further, attempting to lick kaztor again. luckily his tongue was pretty long, which would be useful in... other situations. wink wink. (kill me).

as this all was going down, papa followed kalaren to... wherever he was going. he had been stalking observing for a while now... in the bushes... in the shadows... oh, what was he saying? oh, right.

he followed kalaren to- eugh, was this that red-haired fool's house?! no, papa didn't like him one bit! what was someone as nice as kalaren doing here!? he was just about to call out to him when he saw some familiar-looking hindquarters.

no

could that be...

son?

papa felt his eyes water as he dashed to ham's side, hugging his... uh, behind.

oh! oh, son! how i've missed you!

he cried, rubbing his snout against his son's coat, sniffing it and- okay, calm down, papa. that is still your son's ass.

[kaztorinfernal]

Grimacing once more at Ham's attempt, Kaztor stepped a little further back until Kalaren showed up. Breathing a sigh of relief at his familiar face, he was about to speak until the donari mentioned Ham.

There'd be a pause with them all. If this was a cartoon, maybe some dots would start appearing over the demon's head. Holding the towel in his hands, he threw it over his shoulder and placed his hands on his hips.

Really? There's a horse in my window? Oh, gods, what am I to do? That's quite a predicament. I called you here because my fridge stopped working and I didn't know what to do! After all, what will happen to all of my fanta?

Taking a breath, he pinched the bridge of his nose before drastically gesturing to said horse.

Yes. I'm fully aware there is a horse in my window. That is the emergency, Kal. He broke my fucking window and licked me- oh, ew, he licked me.

That reminder alone made him toss the towel off his shoulder. He was about to continue until the sound of more hooves came into earshot, making Kaztor turn to see just what the hells was happening. Because seriously, what the hells was happening?

And oh. Look. It's Papa. Wonderful. Can't he just get a moment of peace?

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Kalaren blinked a few times, head tilting.

Oh, okay. I can help with that.

He smiled. But then he heard...oh it was Papa!

Hi Papa!

Kalaren called from inside.

This is one of your sons? That's nice! Can you help us get him out of the window? How did he even end up here?

Oh, hi, I'm Kalaren by the way.

The donari turned to the horse lodged in the window. Oh the precious baby had no idea what was going on or the dynamics they all had. He just knew he wanted to help.

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

papa nodded, still cuddling ham's... ass.

ham, however, didn't seem too happy to see kal, if anything, he looked the opposite. he looked... unhappy.

he looked at kalaren, eyes narrowed, before turning his head to the side, exhaling through his nose. he made his displeasure very clear.

it was then when he finally noticed the old stallion by his side. was that... his father..?

ham gasped, so overwhelmed with shock and confusion that he managed to slip through the window. his emotions were the lubricant he needed. he then called out, off tune:

PAPAAAAAAA

papa winced, but nodded nonetheless.

yes, it's me.

oh, my boy, it's been so long!

he galloped his way into the house and hugged ham (not his ass) as they both cried together.

[kaztorinfernal]

there's a white horse standing in the rain outside your window. (how was he doing that?? five minutes ago there wasn't a single cloud in the sky...)

@wovenneighs

Peering outside, red eyes met the familiar white, fur coat. How was there rain? It wasn't raining in the realm.

Blinking a couple of times, Kaztor's eyes widened before he quickly ducked down. Maybe Ham had object permanence and he could use that to his advantage...

Ahem. What the fuck.

[wovenneighs]

yeah, no. not a chance. nice try, though, kaztor!

a loud crash was heard. ham had just... he just threw a rock at his window. as if that wasn't bad enough, a wet, soggy paper was thrown in right after.

UNBLOCK ME PLEAS

[kaztorinfernal]

Maybe a yelp would be heard when the rock came through the window, the demon covering his mouth as he stared at it. Then came the paper.

Curiosity got the best of him as he slowly took—oh, eugh, why was it so wet? He hoped it was just the rainwater—the paper and read it.

Staring, his brows narrowed before he poked his head back up, throwing the paper back down. Which… uh. It just sort of flopped down with a gross ‘squelch’. Ew.

You came all the way here, broke my fucking window, just for this?! You are so… so weird! How did you get here??

[wovenneighs]

when kaz looked back, he's find ham (incorrectly) holding an electric guitar. he began strumming it (though it didn't really... do anything. it wasn't plugged in) and singing... oh god, was that my chemical romance?

eugh... you can really tell that he traded away his singing voice, everything was off key...

[kaztorinfernal]

There'd be a face of both horror and confusion as he just watched what was happening. It was... it was something. Or was it nothing? He couldn't really tell.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked to his blinds and just pulled on the string, closing them. Maybe object permanence would come to him... out of sight, out of mind.

He also really needs to get his window fixed.

[wovenneighs]

oh, kaztor, when will you learn that object permanence is futile when you're dealing with a horse in love. also, your window is broken.

ham stuck his head in through the broken window, still... still singing. okay. oh, now he was singing a song by paramore. great.

[kaztorinfernal]

Oh my gods. Was this demon stupid? Don’t answer that. He couldn’t help but squeak when Ham’s head just… he couldn’t even say barged through the window. It was broken. But he did something!!

The singing was absolutely dreadful. Didn’t Manfish say he gave it up for that diseased excuse of a horn? Unholy hells, why did he ever think that was a good idea?

Covering his ears, he started to call out to someone! Who would it be? Why, his ever-so-dependable guardian, Xinalith! A special, quick little summoning that the taller demon had taught him for if he needed immediate help. For emergencies.

This could be an emergency. Someone’s breaking and entering!

Xinalith’s face couldn’t help but grimace at the… gods awful singing, their own ear twitching as they gently pressed the outer ear.

“Hells, what is this racket—.”

They started, before their eyes fell onto Ham. Ah. It was that horse who seemed to be snout over hooves for Kaztor. Blinking a couple of times, they just smirked, before patting Kaztor’s head.

“Enjoy yourself.”

Wait, what do you—.

Oh! And… And they were gone. Welp, so much for their help.

[wovenneighs]

ham didn't stop singing when xinalith appeared. he did, however, look at them from the corner of his eye. what were they doing here!? couldn't they see he was trying to woo their son right now?!

he rolled his eyes when the old demon finally left, his song ending shortly after (thank god). then, in an attempt to get closer to his beloved, ham tried to fit his whole body through the window.

and failed, by the way.

he was now stuck.

[kaztorinfernal]

Kaztor had to take a moment to actually take in what was happening. He was about to just bolt it out of the door and maybe hide out in Xinalith’s quarters for a while, but… but then Ham got himself stuck.

Blinking a couple of times, the demon stood up straight and just…

Uh. Are you.. okay?

Scratching the back of his head, he cautiously moved over to Ham and— oh, gods, mustn’t that hurt? He tried to walk into a broken window. There was bound to be some shards…

You know what, best not to dwell on it.

Pressing his hands against Ham, he really tried his best to help the horse out. As annoying, weird, creepy and fucking horrendous this horse was, he still didn’t want him to be… uh. Hurt, he guessed.

But alas… this was a big horse. And Kaztor’s strength could not amount to the size of this horse. Maybe it was the horn adding to the weight? He couldn’t tell. Oh dear, what was he going to do…

Uh, are you able to… move? Can you like… wiggle out?

[wovenneighs]

ham neighed furiously. oh, how could he let this happen!? he'd need to talk to kaztor about installing larger windows... this was simply unacceptable!

he wiggled his whole body in an attempt to get out, but... he only got more stuck...

but then he felt kaztor's hands on him. his kaztor was touching him! he whinnied and- oh my god, he just licked kaztor's face. oh my god.

he was... giggling now? i didn't know horses... could giggle?

[kaztorinfernal]

Contorting his face into that of disgusting, Kaztor quickly pulled away from Ham and grimaced. Oh, gross, now there's horse saliva all over his face. Hells, even some of his hair is wet...

Oh my Gods... don't... eugh...

Stepping away to grab an old towel - yeah, he was throwing that out after - he wiped off the saliva before staring at his current predicament. How the fuck was he going to get a horse out of his... his window?

Reaching for his phone, he peered through his contacts before sighing, tapping on Kalaren's. Placing it against his ear, he waited for the dialing tone to come to an end once he heard Kal's voice.

Hi Kal! So, uh, slight emergency. Can you come to my quarters? Like... like right now? Please.

@kalaren

[kalaren]

Answering Kaztor's call, he didn't need to hear anything else. When he made it to his quarters...was that a horses ass sticking out the window? He had so many questions, none of which he really wanted to ask.

Letting himself in, he called out to the demon.

Kaz? I'm here, what can I help with? Also do you know there's a horse in your window?

@wovenneighs

[wovenneighs]

ham simply leaned in further, attempting to lick kaztor again. luckily his tongue was pretty long, which would be useful in... other situations. wink wink. (kill me).

as this all was going down, papa followed kalaren to... wherever he was going. he had been stalking observing for a while now... in the bushes... in the shadows... oh, what was he saying? oh, right.

he followed kalaren to- eugh, was this that red-haired fool's house?! no, papa didn't like him one bit! what was someone as nice as kalaren doing here!? he was just about to call out to him when he saw some familiar-looking hindquarters.

no

could that be...

son?

papa felt his eyes water as he dashed to ham's side, hugging his... uh, behind.

oh! oh, son! how i've missed you!

he cried, rubbing his snout against his son's coat, sniffing it and- okay, calm down, papa. that is still your son's ass.

[kalaren]

papa has woken up.

@wovenneighs

Oh, good morning. I hope you slept okay...

[wovenneighs]

papa nodded, he slept pretty well. the bed was amazing, he'd have to ask the boy what kind of hay he used.

man, he was hungry... he began chewing on whatever his mouth could latch on to. what was he- oh. oh, it's kalaren's sweater. great!

[kalaren]

Kalaren was loosing a lot of sweaters here.

Um...do you want something better to eat than hoodie?

[wovenneighs]

clearly not. this sweater was the best thing he could chew on... wait, maybe he could eat the hay in the boy's mattress!

he let go of the hoodie (yay!) and dove his head into the mattress, ripping it and eating it (not yay...)

[kalaren]

Kalaren blinked a few times. Not really a big deal it's replicable.

I don't think horses can eat cotton...I have like apples and carrots and stuff if you prefer?

[wovenneighs]

papa immediately perked up at that. apples!? this boy had apples?? holy neigh, this place was more luxurious than he imagined! he opened his mouth to sing

YEEEEEEEES

[kalaren]

Giggling, he motioned for Papa to follow him into the kitchen as he pulled out a basket of apples.

Help yourself!

[wovenneighs]

in less than a minute, it was all gone. even the basket! just as the joy of eating all those apples passed, papa began to ponder.

was he... a good man horse? he wasn't a good father, that's for sure. but he thought that, to be a good father, he'd have to be a good horse first.

papa thought he finally achieved that, but... his mind went to all the bad things in the past. would the horses above look past that? would his children look past that? he... he didn't know.

he turned to look at the weird looking horse besides him (he was probably one of those weird breeds of horse. he forgot what it was called... hymens, or something like that). the kid seemed innocent. perhaps he could help papa figure things out for good. and so, he belted out a single word

HEEEEEEEEEEELP

[kalaren]

That was impressive. Or horrifying. Maybe both. How did he do that?

But at the loud, resonating sung plea his head tilted. The last thing he asked for was to help kill Lotus and he didn't like that.

Okay. Help with what?

[wovenneighs]

papa sniffled, looking... pathetic, really. he then reached into his tail and pulled out three things:

a pen, a paper, and... another paper, though this one looked like a formal document. oh- oh, dear, it listed all the crimes papa had committed in the past. it was... quite a long list

arson breaking and entering mass property damage assault and battery home invasion fraud privacy violation reckless driving vehicular Manslaughter (read 58 more items)

while he let kalaren read his long list of crimes, papa wrote something down.

AM I GOOD?

[kalaren]

Kalaren read down the list, wow that was a lot. Should be be horrified? Probably, but his twin was Moon. Mortal laws also weren't something he understood well...or at all.

I think that depends...do you feel like you're good? Or do you feel good about what you've done?

[wovenneighs]

oh. oh, great. papa was going to break down again. he looked at kalaren, eyes full of tears, and slowly shook his head.

... and here comes the sobbing. great. he kept wailing and screaming about how he was a bad horse, undeserving of his children.

he was so grief-stricken, he learned how to speak english.

[kalaren]

A little cautiously, Kalaren moved to hug Papa.

It's okay. You can always work on being better. Just because you were bad it doesn't mean you always will be. You deserve to have a happy family.

[wovenneighs]

i get to be happy?

oh, his speaking voice was awful. maybe he should stick to neighing...

i abandoned the family after deborah got lobotomised by ham's unicorn horn. and then he started hanging around the wrong crowd, and...

or not.

ham wallowed pitifully, his front legs wrapping around kalaren in a hug. at least one horse here had his back. even if he was a little weird looking, in his opinion.

[kaztorinfernal]

there's a white horse standing in the rain outside your window. (how was he doing that?? five minutes ago there wasn't a single cloud in the sky...)

@wovenneighs

Peering outside, red eyes met the familiar white, fur coat. How was there rain? It wasn't raining in the realm.

Blinking a couple of times, Kaztor's eyes widened before he quickly ducked down. Maybe Ham had object permanence and he could use that to his advantage...

Ahem. What the fuck.

[wovenneighs]

yeah, no. not a chance. nice try, though, kaztor!

a loud crash was heard. ham had just... he just threw a rock at his window. as if that wasn't bad enough, a wet, soggy paper was thrown in right after.

UNBLOCK ME PLEAS

[kaztorinfernal]

Maybe a yelp would be heard when the rock came through the window, the demon covering his mouth as he stared at it. Then came the paper.

Curiosity got the best of him as he slowly took—oh, eugh, why was it so wet? He hoped it was just the rainwater—the paper and read it.

Staring, his brows narrowed before he poked his head back up, throwing the paper back down. Which… uh. It just sort of flopped down with a gross ‘squelch’. Ew.

You came all the way here, broke my fucking window, just for this?! You are so… so weird! How did you get here??

[wovenneighs]

when kaz looked back, he's find ham (incorrectly) holding an electric guitar. he began strumming it (though it didn't really... do anything. it wasn't plugged in) and singing... oh god, was that my chemical romance?

eugh... you can really tell that he traded away his singing voice, everything was off key...

[kaztorinfernal]

There'd be a face of both horror and confusion as he just watched what was happening. It was... it was something. Or was it nothing? He couldn't really tell.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked to his blinds and just pulled on the string, closing them. Maybe object permanence would come to him... out of sight, out of mind.

He also really needs to get his window fixed.

[wovenneighs]

oh, kaztor, when will you learn that object permanence is futile when you're dealing with a horse in love. also, your window is broken.

ham stuck his head in through the broken window, still... still singing. okay. oh, now he was singing a song by paramore. great.

[kaztorinfernal]

Oh my gods. Was this demon stupid? Don’t answer that. He couldn’t help but squeak when Ham’s head just… he couldn’t even say barged through the window. It was broken. But he did something!!

The singing was absolutely dreadful. Didn’t Manfish say he gave it up for that diseased excuse of a horn? Unholy hells, why did he ever think that was a good idea?

Covering his ears, he started to call out to someone! Who would it be? Why, his ever-so-dependable guardian, Xinalith! A special, quick little summoning that the taller demon had taught him for if he needed immediate help. For emergencies.

This could be an emergency. Someone’s breaking and entering!

Xinalith’s face couldn’t help but grimace at the… gods awful singing, their own ear twitching as they gently pressed the outer ear.

“Hells, what is this racket—.”

They started, before their eyes fell onto Ham. Ah. It was that horse who seemed to be snout over hooves for Kaztor. Blinking a couple of times, they just smirked, before patting Kaztor’s head.

“Enjoy yourself.”

Wait, what do you—.

Oh! And… And they were gone. Welp, so much for their help.

[wovenneighs]

ham didn't stop singing when xinalith appeared. he did, however, look at them from the corner of his eye. what were they doing here!? couldn't they see he was trying to woo their son right now?!

he rolled his eyes when the old demon finally left, his song ending shortly after (thank god). then, in an attempt to get closer to his beloved, ham tried to fit his whole body through the window.

and failed, by the way.

he was now stuck.

[kaztorinfernal]

Kaztor had to take a moment to actually take in what was happening. He was about to just bolt it out of the door and maybe hide out in Xinalith’s quarters for a while, but… but then Ham got himself stuck.

Blinking a couple of times, the demon stood up straight and just…

Uh. Are you.. okay?

Scratching the back of his head, he cautiously moved over to Ham and— oh, gods, mustn’t that hurt? He tried to walk into a broken window. There was bound to be some shards…

You know what, best not to dwell on it.

Pressing his hands against Ham, he really tried his best to help the horse out. As annoying, weird, creepy and fucking horrendous this horse was, he still didn’t want him to be… uh. Hurt, he guessed.

But alas… this was a big horse. And Kaztor’s strength could not amount to the size of this horse. Maybe it was the horn adding to the weight? He couldn’t tell. Oh dear, what was he going to do…

Uh, are you able to… move? Can you like… wiggle out?

[wovenneighs]

ham neighed furiously. oh, how could he let this happen!? he'd need to talk to kaztor about installing larger windows... this was simply unacceptable!

he wiggled his whole body in an attempt to get out, but... he only got more stuck...

but then he felt kaztor's hands on him. his kaztor was touching him! he whinnied and- oh my god, he just licked kaztor's face. oh my god.

he was... giggling now? i didn't know horses... could giggle?