Shy, Adaptable, Survivor I struggle to be strong enough to get through the things I need to. I cope with long periods of dark depression and brief surges of optimism that let me peek at the light. I think too much, worry too much, and get easily overwhelmed if there's a lot going on. I need simple, peaceful. Currently experiencing homelessness. (oh...and I'm a woman in my early 30's)
One of the things I get asked sometimes by people who know that I'm homeless is about my money situation. They seem to think that I have zero expenses. That's totally not true. I need to eat. A bus pass gets me where I need to go that my feet can't take me easily. I need a gym membership to shower. I need a mailing address. I need a storage place for my stuff so I don't have to cart it around and actually look homeless. Looking homeless is dangerous; Invisibility is safe. I try to blend.
Check out the list below to get an idea of what I'm spending and where the money is coming from.
Expenses
$70 - storage unit - block construction, privately owned in a group of storage units - I den up here to sleep several nights a week. The lack of wind makes it better than outside on especially cold nights.
$49 - Monthly unlimited bus pass
$20 - Monthly membership fee to a 24/7 fitness club
$50 - Cell phone
$9 - per month (but paid every 3) - mailbox
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$198 - fixed expenses (not including food)
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Income:
Vampires (plasma donation, twice a week, as long as I stay healthy) - $220 per month
Babysitting (once a week regular gig) - $80 per month
Petsitting (dog potty break) - 1-3 times per week, $15 each time
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$315 - 345 - untaxed income per month, sometimes more if I babysit more or the dogs need taking out more often, etc.
$198 - fixed expenses
Leaves me a fair amount per month for food, hygiene items, etc. Some months, I even have enough extra to rent a room for a week or grab a motel for a couple of nights.
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I am not currently applying for "normal" jobs and have no real desire at this point to do so. I've considered applying for live in medical studies as a healthy volunteer; I don't qualify to be an egg donor. Sometimes I participate in taste-tests or other short cash-pay studies. Occasionally, someone buys a gig from me on fiverr.
I know from experience that I devolve when I work a regular job. I do okay for a little while but it never lasts long. The stress builds and I just fall apart. I can't cope. I feel suffocated, trapped; I can't breathe and I want to die. Maybe it's mental illness (I definitely have issues with depression and anxiety) or maybe I'm just broken somehow. As hard as it is to live on the streets, it's easier for me than a full time job. I can breathe now and I want to survive.
Fairy rings occupy a prominent place in European folklore as the location of gateways into elfin kingdoms, or places where elves gather and dance. According to the folklore, a fairy ring appears when a fairy, pixie, or elf appears. It will disappear without trace in less than five days, but if an observer waits for the elf to return to the ring, he or she may be able to capture it. They are soooooo beautiful!
fairy rings are usually caused by decaying organic matter, generally a tree stump. many types of fungi have symbiotic relationships with tree roots and mushrooms are the fruiting bodies of such fungus. So if a huge old tree was cut down, you’ll often find fairy rings. they can last for years and years as the earth reabsorbs all the nutrients left behind by the beautiful tree.
sorry, didn’t mean to crush dreams - but i have a degree in horticulture and i was really excited when i first learned this.
maybe fairies and fungi are joining together to mourn the loss of the tree
From a writer’s perspective, it’s even more interesting to find out why they exist on a horticultural level, because it opens up a whole realm of fictional possibilities. Science doesn’t have to invalidate mythology or fiction, no more than mythology or fiction invalidates science.
For example, doesn’t that just essentially make this a tree grave? And if folklore has taught us anything, it’s that “fairies” and other spirits usually occupy trees, or have them as their life force. And that’s to say nothing of the folklore of trees being spirits in and of themselves, or kitsunes that live in tree hollows, or dryads, etc., etc.. So, if it’s disrespectful or feels like a slight to step on human graves, wouldn’t that logic transfer to stepping inside the Fairy Circle, AKA, the tree’s grave? It’s essentially giving more fuel to the story, not detracting from it, in my humble opinion!
People who use weed don't care if you smoke or not. No thanks, you don't need to share your drug of choice with me. I'll just cuddle on the couch with you for a movie marathon and share the snacks I bought, okay? Cool. Got to nap most of the day with only minimal wakeups. Guess I'll be spending my night at the gym riding the stationary bike and playing games on my phone.
Don't you just want to boop his little squirrel nose? Safe is over-rated. Safe means time for over thinking. I'd rather be too busy with finding food and shelter to worry. Anxiety is a first world problem.
The book isn't due out until the end of February. 2/25/2014 to be precise. I probably would have waited even longer to snag a library copy. Through an interesting happenstance, I managed to get ahold of a copy already. I <3 it of course. Kim Harrison is such an amazing author. For those of you with money to buy books, I highly recommend it.
Ok, having depression or any kind of mood disorder fucking sucks. It can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming and impossible. But if you’re feeling shitty and you wake up and are able to accomplish any of these things you deserve a fucking medal. I know shit is hard but you’re not alone. Take solace in the little things. Just because they’re small doesn’t mean they’re not important. Little steps are never a bad place to start.
"We’ve had sex before" is the one I heard most from my ex, however most of these can be applied to my previous relationship. I am so glad that this is here.
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