The Bowery Presents
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Hole
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Show & Tell
ojovivo
★
d e v o n
roma★
bliss lane
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𓃗
taylor price
NASA
KIROKAZE
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One Nice Bug Per Day
Kiana Khansmith
gracie abrams
Noah Kahan
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seen from Türkiye
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@writenowrebekah-blog
When we moved to the Netherlands we had a tiny baby and 2 year old in tow. Our lives were already, in the nicest possible way; a fucking full-on, daily shit-show of survival and insanity. Arriving …
i genuinely thought I was going to die
Escaped to Leiden for the day...I’m supposed to be writing, but I’m mainly just walking around staring at how flipping gorgeous this place is. 💕 Leiden, you are stunning! • • #leiden #survivingsummer #mydutchlife #writenowrebekah #writersofinstagram #write #mentalhealthbreak #dutchlife #escapingthekids #mamasdayoff (at Leiden, Netherlands)
Our three year old is a quirkalicious bundle, dancing to the beat of her own drum 🥁 ....This is a funny story about her and her love of a wig...🔝link in the bio🔝 . . #mydutchlife #parenting #writenowrebekah #parentingthreeyearolds #thewig #letitgo #princess #kids #elsalove #mywriting #writersofinstagram
Homesickness can feel like zombie apocalypse. 🧟♀️🧟♂️🧟♀️ New story about suburban isolation and over sharing with the Lidl checkout worker. 🛒 . 🔝 Link in bio🔝 . #mydutchlife #writersofinstagram #zombie #netherlands #mylife #homesickness #zombietown #suburbanisolation #suburbia #housewifelife #dutchplaygroup #learningdutch #oki #hoofddorp #harlemeer #holland #parenting #expatlife #expat #alongsider (at Hoofddorp, Netherlands)
My local supermarket has a sprinkles dispenser. (Only they have the infinitely funnier name of ‘hagelslag’ in Dutch). Hagelslag come in a whole rainbow of colours 🌈 You put them on anything that you think would be enhanced by some extra sugar. It’s a Dutch thing. I love them. The kids love them. Sugar free husband is not impressed. I especially love quaffing chocolate sprinkles straight from the box. I pour them into my mouth when nobody is looking. 🤫And then wonder why my jeans don’t close. It’s a mama thing. One day I’m going to crack and let my kids lie, open mouthed, under the hagelslag machine while I twist the handle ... I wonder how long we could do it for before we get kicked out? (📷@justilve & @essiehealthylife) #quaffing #hagelslag #netherlands #parenting #chocolate #chocolatesprinkles #dutchlife #sugarfreehusband #mywriting #mydutchlife #writenowrebekah #writersofinstagram #kids #mamathing #summersurvivalplan #hoofddorp #housewifelife #harlemmeer #holland (at Hoofddorp, Netherlands)
Keeping up our Dutch, summer survival plan🌞....new post- link in the bio ⬆️#writersofinstagram #netherlands #schoollife #hoofddorp #harlemmeer #mywriting #mydutchlife #netherlands #dutch #learningdutch #summersurvivalplan #writenowrebekah #parenting #kids #summer (at Haarlemmermeer, Netherlands)
Out of the mouth of my 3 year old daughter as I did a spot of cleaning yesterday: “Mama when I growed up, I want to clean toilets like you.” There it goes. The last shred of my feminist principles I was clinging on to.
LOUSE MOTHER
I don’t know how the schools in other countries deal with head lice (even saying the word is making me twitchyitchy). The Dutch are so practical with everything they deal with. It should not have surprised me in the slightest that they deal with nits in the same straightforward and logical manner.
I got an email from the school. The subject heading was: “Lots of kids have head lice in the group”.
No beating around the bush there. They like getting to the point the Dutch. Maybe it is because the language is so bloody hard to speak.
"Dear Parents, This morning we did a round of lice checks and discovered a large number of children have lice (....lots of information...) Sincerely, The Lice Mothers"
LICE MOTHERS! You read that right.
To clarify, the mama lice aren’t sending the email, (just in case you haven’t managed to have coffee yet).
Having read it, I’m now itching my head like I have a grade A infestation. Sorry if you are feeling like you’ve got an attack of the imaginary headbeasties too.
The very aptly named 'Lice Mothers' are mamas who volunteer to regularly check every kid’s head, in each class, with a nit comb.
If they find lice everyone is told straight away They are treated The end
It’s a good system. Effective and brutal if you are a louse.
In our home, the boy isn’t a touchy-feely kid. In fact he really doesn’t enjoy being too close to anyone, so I am guessing he won’t be bringing home some head friends anytime soon... But my daughter? She’s a snuggler. I have her tagged as the lice bag.
We still haven't had our first infestation. It's only a matter of time though. We are on the great lice countdown. I still haven't bought a comb or shampoo to have ready. What's that about?! I think I am looking forward to the late night panic drive to the chemist. It'll give my anxiety a focus.
I’m developing a type of lice heebie-jeebies, grooming their noggins like a pernickity mama ape. At any time of the day I grab their unsuspecting selves and start searching their head for suspicious movement. They kids are used to it. It gets funny looks when we are out and about though.
I wonder if they do similar checks for worms at school? It wouldn’t surprise me. What would that ‘mother’ be called? Must ask the kids. Bet they know.
Out of the mouth of my 3 year old daughter as I did a spot of cleaning yesterday: “Mama when I growed up, I want to clean toilets like you.” There is goes. The last shred of my feminist principles I was clinging on to. (📷https://goo.gl/images/VLHHYT) #myinnerfeministiscringing #housewifelife #threenager #mydutchlife #mywriting #parenting #kids #1950s (at Hoofddorp, Netherlands)
🌷Our drive to school runs through flower fields. Not a bad school run, really!🌷I’ve been watching these flowers grow for weeks. There was a sippy cup related incident today and I had to pull the car over. Right next to this lovely place 💕#sippycuprelatedissues #Dutch #dutchlife #writenowrebekah #dutchflowers #dutchflowerline #parentingproblems #parenthood #flowerfields #schoolrun #isthisreallysummer❄️#bloemen #nederland #lisserbroek #hoofddorp (at Lisserbroek)
🌷Our drive to school runs through flower fields. Not a bad school run, really!🌷I’ve been watching these flowers grow for weeks. There was a sippy cup related incident today and I had to pull the car over. Right next to this lovely place 💕#sippycuprelatedissues #Dutch #dutchlife #writenowrebekah #dutchflowers #dutchflowerline #parentingproblems #parenthood #flowerfields #schoolrun #isthisreallysummer❄️#bloemen #nederland #lisserbroek #hoofddorp (at Lisserbroek)
The kids fitting in with the Nederlanders. 🚲 #dutchlife #writenowrebekah #kidsonbikes #fiets #cycling #fietsen #doingitdutchstyle #lifewithkids #parenting #cyclestyle #flingdollyontheback #writersofinstagram (at Hoofddorp, Netherlands)
WINK WUNK
Dearsweetbabyjaysus. I needlessly humiliate myself on a regular basis, but today I really took my mortification levels up a gear. I’ll tell you the sad and sorry tale, which mainly revolves around my inability to stop talking and walk away.
Something has been troubling me. Our 3 year old is hugely social, but lacks friends outside her playgroup. I've been on the lookout for some girls to buddy her up with. I have parent guilt about this displaced and sometimes isolated life we lead. This spurs me on to try to create a circle that will support my kids and fill in the gaps. After my most recent shaming though, I may need to reassess this priority.
Our 3 year old used to have a nursery school friend called Sophie. She adored her. The girls used to give each other the biggest welcoming hugs and goodbye smooches. It was toddler daycare love.
When she left nursery to go to playgroup, she was devastated that she wouldn’t see Sophie anymore. Her new playgroup didn’t have a Sophie and she wanted one. Thankfully 3 year olds have short attention spans and she eventually stopped asking for her.
Today as we were in the library for story time, I recognised the little girl sitting a few floor cushions away.
It was Sophie.
After the stories, I saw Sophie and her dad flicking through some books and went up to say hello.
Actually, I used my mega excited voice and said, “Hey Sophie your friend is here!”
The dad was weirded out that I had addressed his little girl. I got why.
I explained to him that our kids used to be besties in nursery. I rambled on about it. He looked nonplussed. I asked if Sophie had ever talked about her. She hadn’t.
My 3 year old bimbled over.
“HEY LOOK IT’S SOPHIE!!!”, I trilled.
She did not recognise the kid. Not one twinkle of recollection. Nothing. I was pointing at the little girl and she kept looking other places. In fact, she kept looking around the little girl for someone she knew.
The dad stared at us. He looked bemused.
Why did I not leave it there? WHY?
The end. Never mind. Goodbye. But, no.
I busted out a sterling conversation line,
“Your kid taught my kid to poop”.
He didn’t even crack a grin. Nothing.
He muttered, “Well that’s a good thing”.
I noticed that he had picked up Sophie and had started to move away from me.
Convinced that our girls will be best buds in later life, I refused to acknowledge the code red my brain was flashing. I remembered that he had two older boys and I went into overdrive asking how things were going with them. He looked surprised that I knew so much about his family. By trying to convince him how NORMAL I was, by acting utterly unhinged.
The dad wanted to get his kid away from the crazed library lurker.
As he picked up his bag of books, I said,
“Maybe we’ll see you here again?”
He slightly nodded, in a very non committal way.
And then, as he further retreated, I asked him if he came here often.
Yes. I said that.
“Do. You. Come. Here. Often?”
I meant to the story time. I wanted to know if there was a chance our girls would be able to hang out again. You’ve got to hand it to me for tenacity.
He stopped, half smiled and then….
He winked at me, and said in a kindly tone, “I’m sure we’ll meet again”.
I thought that was a strange response. It took me until I got home to realise it.
The guy thought that I was a mad Irish mama, who trawls the library for dads to hit on.
It’s possible you could hear me screaming from where you are now.
M o r t o
Is this just a ‘Dutch thing’ or do other cultures do it too?!?! #dutchlife #netherlands #duvetoutthewindow #mylife #writenowrebekah (at Haarlemmermeer, Netherlands)
How flipping cool is this beach house? 📷 #strandhuisje #zeeland #netherlands #writersofinstagram #writenowrebekah #summer (at Zeeland)
There’s a gargantuan red and white checked meeting point at Schipol. I’ve had 3 years of visitor pick ups from the airport.... How did I not know this was here?!?! #mustbelookingatsomethinginteresting #netherlands #dutchlife #writersofinstagram #writenowrebekah #schipolairport #meetingpoint (at Amsterdam Airport Schiphol)