No Archive Warnings Apply || Rated G || Chapters 1/? || De-aged Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Summary: While on patrol, Peter is struck by a spell that turns him into a toddler. Or mostly into a toddler. His memories, intellect, and experiences are still intact. Unfortunately, that makes being trapped in a toddler's body, with a toddler's motor skills that much harder. His legs are too short, and his fingers are too uncooperative. He can’t ride in the car without a super claustrophobic car seat. He can’t even wash his hands without help and it's frustrating. Between the teasing, Tony does his absolute best to help.
[except below the cut]
It was after ten in the evening and Tony was in his bed for once. He wasn’t sleeping. He was leaning up against the headboard, glasses perched on the end of his nose, thumbing through a magazine. They’d done an interview and photoshoot with him several months prior and it had finally been published. He didn’t like the photo they’d picked for the cover. His smile was off and a few errant strands of hair had fallen limply against his forehead. He hoped the article would make up for it.
He was about halfway through the two-page spread when his phone began to ring. Blindly, he reached over to the bedside table and wrapped his fingers around the device. He didn’t bother checking the caller ID as he brought it up to his ear. There was no reason to. It was his personal phone and only a handful of friends and colleagues had the number.
“This is Stark,” he mindlessly greeted, the phone tucked neatly under his chin.
“Oh Thank God you actually answered!” a high-pitched voice rang out from the other end of the line.
Tony sighed, wondering which one of his imbecile contacts had allowed their toddler to play with their phone. “Hey there, Little Buddy. Does your mommy or daddy know you have their phone?” he asked, bringing the chipmunk-like chatter to a halt.
“Come on, Mr. Stark! This is serious!” the voice squealed. Though, all of the R’s and L’s were either missing or slurred into W’s. “I’m kind of in a bind here and I could really use your assistance.”
The first thing to pop into Tony’s head was how the vocabulary didn’t quite match up to the voice. Before he could stop himself the words, “Wait. How old are you?” slipped out of his mouth.
The tiny voice growled. Vaguely, Tony wondered why he’d not already hung up.
“It doesn’t matter! I really need you to hear me out here, Mr. Stark!”
“Yeah, okay,” Tony interjected. “That’s enough phone time for you today, Kiddie. Mr. Stark is going to say ‘bye-bye’ now.” Before he could press the end call button, the voice on the other end of the line grew increasingly frantic.
“No, Mr. Stark! Wait! Please! It’s me, Peter! Peter Parker! I need your help!”
As the voice pleaded, Tony pulled the phone away from his ear to verify who he was speaking to. Sure enough, the name Peter Parker was displayed across the screen, along with the cheesy photo he’d set to go with the contact information.
“Peter?” he questioned, still not quite believing. ”Why the hell do you sound like a nineties cartoon character?”
His inquiry was met with silence. He was right on the verge of probing for more when he heard Peter gather a deep breath.
“Well, I was on patrol, right?” Peter said. “You know, just swinging around minding my own business. Then some weird guy with a big floaty book popped up out of nowhere! I tried to get away from him but then he threw this yellowish-orange glowy light ball thing at me, and he shrunk me! He shrunk me, Mr. Stark! And I- I don’t have any other clothes.”
When the rambling finally came to an end, Tony reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You don’t have any other clothes,” he blandly repeated. “You just told me some random guy shot you with an unknown substance and you’re going your biggest concern is, ‘I don’t have any other clothes?’”
“I’m pretty sure being naked in the middle of New York City is actually a very big concern, Mr. Stark!”
Seeing as that hadn’t even crossed his mind, Tony sighed and pulled up the Spider-Suit's last known coordinates. Thankfully they weren’t far. “Alright. You win. I’ll be there in twenty.”
A break in LA rain and more home time today meant a baby who didn’t nap longer than 20 mins ever, a threenager with a few meltdowns, some tax prep and a brief moment of zen at our front yard picnic. #momentofzen #threenager #baby #needsleep #picnic #boardgames #socialdistancing https://www.instagram.com/p/B9xvNNwhuuS/?igshid=16bbltw53j8my
Like, you have this kick-butt human on assignment on a multi-species ship out in space, and they come home on leave or whatever, and they introduce their alien friends to their three-year-old. And this space soldier, this colonizer of worlds and conquerer of monsters, this human who can survive snow and proximity to fire and can stare down beasts and *befriend* them, this human who seems invincible and completely in control, gets SCREAMED at for a Pop-Tart and they’re totally cowed and like, “okay, okay, I’m getting it, just stop *whining* already, you are a big three year old!” And the aliens are like “whaaaat just happened?!” Because yes, humans are weird, and space is scary, but three-year-olds, toddlers.... they’re the real monsters.
Are you the kind of person that has to leave your house clean if you are going out of town? I definitely am. I annoy myself with how much I feel like I have to do to get ready to travel.
At any rate, we deep cleaned several rooms in the house today. Not quite to the point of wiping down the baseboards, but I did wipe down the blinds, the ceiling fans, and the windows. DH installed a new toilet in our main bath and painted the baseboard in there that has literally never been painted in the ten years since I’ve lived here. I also got rid of a bunch of stuff in H & E’s bedroom. They love all of their toys, but their room looks like a scene out of Hoarders and I just couldn’t take it any more.
I also mostly packed E, H, and DS for our Florida trip. That only leaves me four kids and myself to go. Yahoo!
I managed to grade one class worth of papers today. I have another class to go and a set of outlines in another class. I graded four other assignments in various classes at some point over the weekend as well.
The great thing about this weekend was that although it wasn’t super warm, it was sunny and above freezing. Our kids got their bikes out of the garage for the first time since fall and I am so grateful that they could be outside even if they had to ride bikes with mittens and winter coats on.
Baby is continuing to give us a run for our money. He crossed our very busy street solo. I am flabbergasted as NONE of our other kids have ever done this and this is at least his second time doing so. I don’t know what to do other than keep him in the house which gets old. However, I cannot be out there to supervise him 24/7. (Do other people supervise their kids outside 24/7?) Our backyard is fenced, but the sidewalk where they ride their bikes is in the front of our house so we have always allowed H & E free reign outside without incident. We do check on them frequently, and I can see them from many places when I am inside the house, but Baby is a whole new ballgame. I also found him in the bathroom today with gobs of hand soap on himself and in the sink. Again, never had a child like this before. He knows he’s not supposed to do it because he’s smart, so what is it? Attention seeking? We give him so much attention, so why does he do this stuff that he knows is wrong?
I know it’s a little late, but thank you to all the moms who comforted me on my post where I was talking about my daughter’s rebellious attitude lately! You guys made me feel so much better and gave me some good tips. It also feels amazing to just have the support and know I’m not alone. Really, thank you guys so, so much. ♡
Emma is in a 2-3yo ballet class, and it's probably the cutest half hour I experience each week. 😍 Seriously, those babies only have like half an idea of what's going on but damn it if they don't love twirling and playing "obstacle course" and dancing with the big baby dolls. My favorite part is though they mostly do like 4-5 5 minute games, they do sprinkle in the real techniques with the real vocabulary. Emma has the advantage of being the oldest (or one of the oldest), she's just rocking the 3% height genes I passed on to her. 😂
