pick-up lines!
all of the lines below are taken from this video. mixture of fluffy & nsfw, but mostly nsfw.
“if you were a transformer, you’d be optimus fine.”
“there will be only seven planets left in the solar system after i destroy your anus.”
“i’m glad i’m cross-eyed because i can see you twice.”
“when i do push-ups, my nose touches the ground first.”
[points to mouth] “this seat isn’t taken.”
“let’s go to your place, [insert person here] is at mine.”
“if you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber.”
“are you a drill sergeant? because you have my privates standing at attention.”
“if you were a household appliance, what would you be? i would be a washer because that’s the only way i’m getting your panties wet.”
“smile if you want to have sex with me.”
“um, excuse me, does my tongue taste funny to you?”
“you remind me of my shower because i want to cry inside you every morning.”
“you’re just like a wine tasting. they say to spit, but i prefer to swallow.”
“you remind me of my pinky toe; you’re smart, cute, and i’m going to bang you on my coffee table later.”
“ask me why i’m so tired. it’s because i’ve been kegeling all day.”
“can you do telekinesis? because you made a part of me move without even touching it.”
“i’m hung like a tic tac; want to freshen your breath?”
“you have a shovel? because i’m digging that ass.”
“how do you like your sausage in the morning? scrambled or blown?”
“i lost my keys; can i check your pants?”
“with school, i just wanna get a’s. but with you, i want an f.”
“hey, can you tell me what your name is so i know what to scream tonight?”
“did you have lucky charms for breakfast? because you look magically delicious.”
“i’m peanut butter, you’re the jelly. let’s have sex.”
“do you want to give me an australian kiss? it’s like a french kiss but down under.”
“looks like i’ve dropped something.” [mouth unhinges] “my jaw.”
“pick a number between one and ten.” [without giving the other person any time.] “you lose, now take off your clothes.”