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✧ hi! i’m soph! a few factoids about me: enfj, taurus, die hard gooner, and i really like reading :)
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time to disappear for months again 😀
butterflies cant stop me (from falling for you) (leah williamson x reader)
it seemed like everyone else knew before you did.
word count: 2834 ish
rating: S for slow burn
title- guess i'm in love by clinton kane
a/n: in honor of arsenal’s uwcl win… here’s an unedited draft! quite literally my word vomit on a page. enjoy.
----
it started at arsenal academy, when you were just twelve years old.
you remember it like it was yesterday—sitting there in the changing room, pulling your socks up as the coach walked in.
your eyes flicked to the girl next to you-- leah williamson.
she was staring at her boots, her face set with the intensity of someone who was determined to do everything perfectly.
everything about her screamed focus, the exact opposite of you, who was often too busy thinking about which snack you'd have after training, or whether you'd make it home in time for the next episode of the big bang theory.
you'd always known leah.
she was the one you were supposed to outdo.
she had this quiet confidence, an aura of “i’m going to be the best player in this room” that rubbed you the wrong way.
maybe it was the fact that she seemed to have it all together, while you were still figuring out how to get your hair tie to stay in place.
throughout the years, you two had only grown further apart in terms of your relationship.
on the field, there was always that undercurrent of competition.
you were on different paths, constantly on different teams in the academy, always chasing after the same positions, the same praise.
even off the field, you’d never been friends. more like… frenemies.
it was kind of funny, actually.
how many years had passed? fifteen? more? and here you were, both still playing for arsenal, one of the most elite clubs in the world.
only now, you were teammates.
nothing else had changed, really. except that now, you were really starting to notice her.
~~
it was a typical training session in the early season, the grass slick with dew under the sharp morning light.
you and leah had always been paired together in drills, a habit that seemed too natural for anyone to question. e
very pass, every tackle, every snarky comment between you two was as predictable as the wind.
leah, of course, was perfect—the perfect angle for her cross, the perfect pressure for her tackles.
you? you were good. good enough to not be totally overshadowed by her.
except that today? today you weren’t quite on your game.
you misjudged the flight of a ball, the touch too heavy, and it careened off the post with a bang.
“not again, seriously?”
you muttered under your breath, grimacing as the ball rolled out of bounds.
leah, naturally, didn’t miss a beat.
she jogged up beside you, eyes flicking to the ball, then back to you.
“you okay?”
“fine. just—need to concentrate,” you grumbled, wiping a hand over your face.
she was quiet for a moment, assessing, before speaking again.
“don’t be so hard on yourself. you’ll get it next time.”
you felt your stomach flip at the way she spoke to you—so casually, so unlike the competitive, distant leah you remembered.
you’d spent years believing she was a machine, emotionally detached from everything except football.
so this? this concern, this kindness? it threw you off.
“yeah, i guess,” you said, your voice unsure. “thanks.”
her lips quirked into the smallest of smiles.
“no problem.”
it wasn’t much. just a few words.
but it was enough. enough to stir something in you that you couldn’t explain.
and before you could dwell on it, she was already jogging to the other side of the pitch, moving fluidly as always, leaving you behind with your thoughts.
~~
months passed, and things didn’t really change. well, not much.
you and leah were still teammates, still teammates with a long history of competitive tension.
every practice, every match, there was an unspoken challenge in the air—who could score more goals, who could make the better pass, who could tackle the hardest.
your competitive streak never quite went away, but now, there was something… softer.
it wasn’t that leah had changed.
it was that maybe you were starting to see her differently.
after training one evening, you found yourself walking toward the locker room when you noticed her walking behind you, arms crossed, a thoughtful expression on her face.
“hey,” she called out, her voice soft.
“hey,” you replied, glancing over your shoulder.
she fell into step beside you, and for the first time, it didn’t feel like a challenge.
it felt natural, easy. no jabs, no snide comments, just quiet companionship.
“i’m, uh…” leah hesitated, clearly trying to find the right words.
“i’ve been thinking. about the next match.”
you raised an eyebrow.
“what about it?”
“i think we’ve got a good chance against chelsea this time,” she said, her gaze meeting yours.
“you’re in good form. your passes have been on point.”
you blinked, thrown off by the compliment.
“uh, thanks.”
leah gave you a look like you were an idiot.
“no, seriously. i’m not just saying it. you’ve been playing well.”
“are we sure this is leah williamson talking?” you teased, giving her a playful shove.
she rolled her eyes, but the faintest smile tugged at her lips.
“shut up.”
but you noticed something.
the way her eyes softened when she looked at you. the way the space between you two felt different now.
and it wasn’t just you—other people were starting to notice too.
~~
it was an off day when you found yourself having a quiet chat with viv and frida in the cafeteria.
you’d just finished a light session, your muscles still warm, and you were nursing a coffee, eyes darting between your teammates as they casually discussed tactics for the upcoming match.
“did you two finally figure it out?” viv asked out of nowhere, her eyes glinting with mischief.
you choked on your coffee.
“what?”
“don’t play dumb, we see the way you two look at each other,” frida added with a teasing grin.
“it’s cute, really. i’m just glad you two finally stopped fighting long enough to, you know… realize it.”
“i—what?” you stared at both of them, your face going pink.
“what are you talking about?”
viv raised an eyebrow.
“you know, it’s kind of obvious. the way you two have been, uh, acting around each other lately. you’re not exactly subtle.”
“i think we all knew before you two did,” frida chimed in, laughing.
your stomach dropped, but you couldn’t help but feel a little lighter.
the idea that your teammates had noticed something you hadn't even admitted to yourself was… well, humbling.
“i think you’re imagining things,” you mumbled, trying to play it cool, though you could feel the heat in your cheeks.
“oh, trust me,” viv said, her grin widening.
“we’re not imagining anything. we’ve been teammates too long to miss that.”
you groaned, face buried in your hands.
“i really need to get my life together.”
“i think you’ve got it together just fine,” frida said.
“now you just have to admit it.”
you shook your head, heart still hammering in your chest.
could it be true? had you really been that obvious?
the next morning, you found yourself on the pitch, your usual competitive drive in full swing.
you and leah were paired up in a drill, just the two of you passing and receiving, playing in the rhythm you’d developed over the years. but this time, it was different.
you noticed how her eyes lingered a little longer when they met yours.
how her passes felt sharper, more intentional than they usually did.
and when you did finally manage to steal the ball from her, she didn’t retaliate with a sarcastic comment or a quick retort. she simply nodded.
“nice one,” she said, her voice low and steady.
and that’s when it hit you.
you had been rivals for so long, fighting tooth and nail for everything—but somewhere along the way, that rivalry had morphed.
what had once been an endless battle had turned into something deeper. something more.
your heart thudded in your chest as the realization came crashing down on you.
this wasn’t rivalry anymore. this was… something else.
you opened your mouth to speak, but before you could get a word out, the whistle blew.
the session was over.
“hey, you coming for lunch?” leah asked, her voice casual but her eyes still holding that softness.
you blinked, realizing that this was the first time she’d asked you anything like that. “yeah, sure. i’ll… i’ll catch up in a minute.”
she nodded, walking away, and you stood there for a moment, still processing.
you could feel the eyes of your teammates on you, especially viv, who gave you an exaggerated thumbs-up from the sidelines.
a few minutes later, you found yourself sitting across from leah at the team lunch, the usual banter between you both absent.
it felt like you were both navigating uncharted territory, but in a way that felt right.
finally, leah spoke, her voice quieter than usual.
“so,” she said, looking down at her plate.
“we’ve been playing together for a while now. but, uh, i don’t know. i think… i think i’m starting to get why you’re so good.”
you blinked.
“what?”
“i mean,” leah continued, glancing at you with a slight blush, “you’re different. and not just in the ‘i’m a better player than you’ way. you’re—” she stopped herself, looking for the right words.
“you’re someone i don’t mind sharing the pitch with anymore.”
your heart skipped.
and then, like the idiot you were, you smiled.
“you’re not as bad as i thought either,” you said with a wink, making her laugh.
and that, you realized, was the moment.
the moment you stopped pretending, stopped competing, and finally let your heart settle.
you’d both said it without saying it. the tension was there now, undeniable, but neither of you was ready to label it. you went back to your usual routine: training, lunches, joking around—but this time, there was an electric charge, something different in the air whenever you two were near each other.
and, somehow, the whole team had noticed.
you weren’t sure how everyone had figured it out before you had, but you were beginning to accept the fact that maybe your subtle little moments weren’t so subtle anymore.
but it didn’t matter. not really. you couldn’t stay blind forever.
it was a week after that lunch when things finally shifted into overdrive.
arsenal had been playing well, the team had been on a winning streak, and with the champions league looming in the distance, everyone was laser-focused on training.
but despite all the strategy and drills, you couldn’t focus.
every time you passed leah, you found yourself thinking about the way her hand had brushed yours in that small, accidental moment earlier that day.
or the way she’d smiled at you across the pitch, as though you were the only other person there.
you kept telling yourself to focus, to stop thinking about it.
she was your teammate. you were both just caught up in the competitive fire, right? it was nothing more than that.
but when the whistle blew for the end of the session that evening, and leah jogged over to you—hair tousled, face flushed from the exertion—you froze.
“hey,” she said, casually enough, but her eyes were warm. too warm.
“want to grab a drink? i—well, i mean, it’s been a good week, hasn’t it? thought i’d celebrate. with you.”
it was as if everything in the world paused.
you blinked, unsure if you’d heard her right.
leah williamson, your long-time teammate, your rival, was asking to hang out? outside of practice? no coaches, no teammates, no drills to distract you both?
it was then that your heart decided it wasn’t going to listen to your brain anymore.
“yeah, sure.”
~~
the bar was quiet, a tucked-away place near the training ground.
you two sat at a small table in the corner, nursing drinks and talking about everything and nothing.
the conversation was easy, but there was an undercurrent to it now—a kind of tension neither of you had been willing to acknowledge.
you watched leah laugh, and it felt like every little piece of her was suddenly… yours to figure out.
all the little things you’d missed, like how her eyes crinkled at the corners when she smiled, or how she’d become more relaxed in her movements, in the way she interacted with you.
it was like something shifted in her as well, something that made her a little less guarded, a little more real.
and you? you were still pretending to be calm.
you had no idea what this was between you. but it didn’t matter, right?
you were just a little too close for comfort at this point, and it made your insides flutter in a way that felt way too dangerous.
“so,” leah said, breaking the silence between sips of her drink, “i was thinking—”
“uh-oh, you’re thinking?” you teased her, reaching for your glass to buy some time, a nervous habit.
she rolled her eyes, but her lips curled into that irresistible smile.
“you’re one to talk. you were thinking when you missed that cross last week, weren’t you?”
you groaned.
“i told you i was distracted.”
leah leaned forward slightly, and her expression softened.
“you’ve been distracted a lot lately.”
the words hung in the air for a moment, and you could’ve sworn you heard the faintest thump in your chest at how close her face was.
you swallowed, suddenly nervous. was she trying to tell you something?
“you know,” she continued, “i’ve always thought you were a little bit of a pain. always so competitive, always trying to outdo me. it was exhausting.”
you snorted.
“you weren’t exactly a walk in the park either.”
she laughed, but there was a tenderness to it now, the kind that made you finally realize something you’d been ignoring for far too long.
maybe this whole rivalry thing had been a facade. a defense mechanism, a way to hide what neither of you were brave enough to admit. but it was clear now—you both knew.
“thing is,” she said, her voice quieter now, “i never stopped being competitive. not really. not with anyone else.”
your heart was hammering now.
“so, what’s that mean for me?”
she smiled, that knowing, almost teasing smile you’d seen so many times.
“well, i did always like beating you.”
you raised an eyebrow.
“oh, you mean, you still like beating me?”
leah shrugged.
“sure. but it’s different now.”
it was like something clicked.
you’d spent years wanting to prove you were just as good as her, wanting to outshine her at everything. but now? it was different. she wasn’t just a teammate.
she wasn’t just a rival anymore. leah had become something more.
a little flutter in your chest, a sudden surge of warmth, and then, with no real planning, no grand gesture—you blurted out:
“wait, are we—do you—am i being an idiot, or is this…” you trailed off, unsure how to even finish the sentence.
your face flushed at your own lack of control, your own ridiculousness.
leah laughed, her eyes shining in a way that made your stomach tighten.
“you’re not an idiot, y/n,” she said gently, a small smile tugging at her lips.
“i think we’ve both known for a while now.”
for the first time in your life, you were speechless. and then it all came rushing to you.
all those small moments. the way she always had your back, the way you’d started to realize just how important she’d become to you.
leah leaned back in her seat, her gaze softer now.
“i guess everyone else knew before we did.”
you nodded, your heart racing.
“yeah, but we’re both idiots. i think we’ve been so busy being… whatever we were, we forgot to actually see it. to see us.”
and then, as if on cue, the inevitable happened.
leah shifted, leaned forward, and before you even had the chance to process what was happening, her lips were on yours.
it was slow, hesitant at first, as if she wasn’t entirely sure you’d react the way she hoped.
but you kissed her back almost immediately, your heart leaping out of your chest as your hands found their way to her shoulders, pulling her closer.
when you pulled away, you were both breathless.
“well,” leah said, laughing softly, her forehead resting against yours. “that was… long overdue.”
you nodded, your heart still racing in the best way. “we really are idiots, aren’t we?”
she grinned, her eyes sparkling.
“biggest ones.”
you couldn’t help but laugh, pressing a kiss to her temple.
“guess we’re not the only ones who knew this whole time.”
she looked at you, her smile widening.
“no, but we’re the ones who finally figured it out.”
and that, right there, felt like everything.
your past, your rivalry, your friendship, all melted into one perfect moment.
you didn’t need anyone else to tell you this time. you knew. you and leah? you were finally on the same team.
Hi there I have a question. Do you have a masterlist ??? It would be great if you have one
yes! its linked at the top of my page but u can also find it here
What is your abstract for!
research conference!
ok I wrote an abstract and intro.
giving up
writing an abstract rn and wanting to die XD
Me every time I have to write an abstract 😔
no bc tell me why my english fails me every time.
my comments to myself: “don’t like this word.” “what is this word.” “reword”. “can’t think of the word”
writing an abstract rn and wanting to die XD
i wanna be the one (that makes your day) (jessie fleming x ucla!reader)
the part two to i'll be your biggest fan (and you'll be mine)
word count: 1407 ish
rating: F for fluffy
title- best friend by rex orange county
a/n: again, unedited. part of my fic dump. not guaranteed spelling errors and plot hole free
----
it’s been exactly one month since you left california for oxford.
and in that month, you’ve felt the full weight of the transition.
the chill of the english weather, the constant rush of new information, and the distinct absence of a certain messy-haired canadian soccer player.
you’d been so determined to focus on your studies, on the prestigious rhodes scholarship that had brought you here, that the thought of jessie—of her—had taken a backseat.
but that didn’t mean she was far from your mind. because she wasn’t.
she never really was.
it’s just that, here, in oxford, it felt… different.
the landscape was so vast, so old, the buildings so steeped in history. everything felt so distant, so foreign.
it wasn’t the kind of place where a casual coffee date or library study sessions felt possible.
but that didn’t stop you from wondering if you might see her again.
and then, one crisp morning, while you were walking across radcliffe square, there she was.
jessie fleming, on a freaking london bus, looking effortlessly beautiful in a puffer jacket and jeans.
you freeze in place, breath hitching, your heart skipping.
you hadn’t expected to see her in england, let alone in oxford, and definitely not in this exact moment.
the last time you saw her, she was standing on the bleachers in sunny california, asking you out on a date.
you had kissed her. it was perfect.
and then she had flown back to london for her training with chelsea.
you still have the little text you sent her: "thinking of you. hope practice is going well. "
it was cute. she replied with something equally sweet.
and then you both agreed that you’d keep in touch.
you hadn’t realized how much you'd missed her until this very moment.
you panic for a second, unsure what to do.
should you wave?
run over?
act cool and pretend you weren’t feeling a little lightheaded?
before you can decide, jessie’s eyes meet yours.
they soften immediately, her lips curling into that familiar smile, and just like that, you’re moving without thinking.
she’s already walking toward you, her boots tapping along the stone path, her hands shoved deep into her pockets.
“hey, y/n,” she says, her voice warm.
“fancy seeing you here.”
your heart swells.
“jessie! what—what are you doing here?”
“i think that’s my question for you,” she teases, stopping in front of you.
“i was just in london for training and thought i’d visit oxford for a bit. nice to see you’ve finally joined the world of us english folk.”
you laugh, trying to mask the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
“i didn’t know you’d be here. i’m just, you know, studying. trying to become a fancy oxford student or whatever.”
“fancy, huh?”
jessie quirks an eyebrow.
“you look more like you belong in california than in england.”
“yeah, well, i don’t know if i’ll ever get used to the rain. or the weather, for that matter,” you say with a small, self-deprecating chuckle.
“i like it,” she shrugs, grinning.
“it’s cozy. but maybe that’s because i grew up with it.”
“right,” you mutter, glancing down at your boots and feeling suddenly nervous again.
“so what’s the plan? are you here for long?”
“nah, just a couple of days,” she says, looking around with interest.
“but i could always stay longer. what about you? got any plans for the day?”
you hesitate, thoughts running wild. “um, not really. just… studying. you know, the usual.”
jessie smiles knowingly, and before you can blink, she’s offering her arm to you.
“well, if you’re not doing anything, you want to come grab a coffee with me?”
you try to keep your cool.
“a coffee?” you repeat, almost disbelieving.
“as in, just us? hanging out?”
jessie tilts her head, amusement dancing in her eyes. “yeah, just us. no big deal.”
you’re pretty sure your heart is about to burst out of your chest, but you manage to nod, trying to hide the giddiness creeping up.
“sure, i’d love to.”
and so, the two of you stroll through the cobbled streets of oxford, coffee cups in hand, casually talking about everything and nothing.
the conversation flows effortlessly, like you’ve known each other for years, like time and space hadn’t really interrupted your connection.
“so how’s chelsea?” you ask, as you both take a seat on one of the benches overlooking the river.
“it’s been great,” she replies, looking genuinely happy.
“lots of training, a few matches here and there. and you? how’s oxford? is it everything you thought it’d be?”
you think for a moment.
“yeah. and no. i mean, it’s exactly what i expected academically, but i didn’t know how lonely it would feel sometimes. like, everyone’s so driven, and it’s kind of… overwhelming.”
jessie nods, her gaze softening.
“i get that. being away from home is hard, but you’re doing it, right? you’ve got this.”
you smile, warmed by her words.
“thanks, jessie. i appreciate that.”
“of course,” she replies, her voice gentle.
“besides, we’ve both got big things going on, right? you with the rhodes, me with the team... we’re kind of a power couple, if you think about it.”
you laugh, the sound coming out more nervous than you intend.
“power couple? is that what we are?”
jessie’s grin widens.
“why not?”
and for the rest of the afternoon, you both walk around oxford, talking about life, about what you miss, about your plans for the future.
the conversation flows with ease, like you’ve always been in each other’s orbit, like nothing has really changed.
by the time the sun begins to set, painting the sky in shades of pink and purple, jessie turns to you, her smile softening.
“i’m really glad we’re doing this,” she says quietly. “i’ve missed you.”
you swallow hard, your chest tightening.
“i’ve missed you too.”
“i mean it,” she continues.
“i know we’re both busy, and i know this whole long-distance thing isn’t easy, but... i want to see you more. when you’re free, come to london. i’ll show you around.”
the warmth in her words melts you completely.
“i’d love that,” you whisper. “i’d really love that.”
“good,” she says with a wink.
“because i’ve already got a few ideas for our next date.”
you laugh, your heart fluttering.
“a date, huh?”
jessie shrugs, looking casually cool.
“we did kind of kiss last time i checked, so i think it counts.”
you roll your eyes, but you’re grinning.
“you’re impossible, you know that?”
“yeah, i know,” she says with a laugh. “but you like me anyway.”
you shake your head, a playful smile on your lips.
“don’t get too cocky.”
“i’ll try,” she says, her eyes twinkling.
the sun dips below the horizon, and the night air grows cooler, but there’s something incredibly comforting about sitting here with jessie, knowing that the two of you have this connection that just keeps growing stronger.
~~
over the next few weeks, you and jessie stay in touch.
the long-distance thing isn’t easy, but it’s working.
you FaceTime when you can, send each other little messages of encouragement.
she’s training for her upcoming season with chelsea, and you’re buried in your studies, but the moments you do find to talk are the highlights of your day.
it’s strange, though, to think about how your life has shifted since that first meeting in the library back at ucla.
you’ve come so far, both of you, and yet somehow, despite the distance, you still feel that pull to her.
that connection you can’t quite explain, but you know is real.
jessie visits oxford a few more times, and each time feels like a new chapter in your relationship.
you go out for coffee, explore the city, and sneak in quiet moments in between your busy schedules.
with each visit, your feelings for her grow stronger, and you begin to wonder if this could really work—this thing between you two, despite everything.
one night, after a long week of work, you find yourself at your desk, scrolling through your messages when you see a new one from jessie.
"thinking about you. when’s the next time i get to see you? "
your heart skips.
you reply quickly: "soon. i’ll make it happen. i miss you."
she responds almost instantly: "me too. see you soon, love."
you grin, your heart swelling.
this? this was just the beginning.
surprise fools
jessie fic at 12:30 pm est td
!
and after all this time (i’m still into you) (alexia putellas x reader)
when arsenal plays barcelona in the champions league final, you finally get to see the girl who broke your heart years ago.
word count: 3105 ish
rating: C cheesy ending but i ran out of ideas. A for kind of angsty but not really.
title- still into you by paramore
a/n: this is unedited. clearing out my computer. don’t come at me for spelling mistakes and plot holes >:(
----
you don’t get nervous.
you’re always confident and composed before every game, and you knew that.
jonas knew that.
everyone knew that.
which is why you’ve been the captain at (almost) every team you’ve played for.
it only took half a season in london after your transfer from bayern for you to gain the title of vice captain.
now, two seasons after that, you’re sitting comfortably on your title as captain.
you’re confident and you knew it.
which is why you’re struggling to figure out why your heart is pounding as you put on your captain’s armband.
viv just blamed it on the nerves of the game.
after all, it is the champion’s league final.
who wouldn’t be nervous?
you that’s who.
you knew you wouldn’t be nervous.
you should be there to pep talk your team and get the kids like maanum excited for what was about to happen.
but you were a mess.
“snap out of it. people are beginning to notice.”
viv’s low hiss in dutch brought you out of it temporarily.
you felt a soft tap on the shoulder and turned to see malin’s nerve ridden face.
you briefly forget about your own troubles in place of comforting the younger players.
still, some people are beginning to notice.
lisa whispers to viv:
“is everything okay with y/n?”
viv just shrugs.
~~
your hands don’t get clammy.
like being nervous, having clammy hands was out of the ordinary for you.
which is why you’re confused when you find yourself constantly having to wipe your hands on your shorts to keep them from persperating.
when the game is about to begin, you adjust your captains armband and make your way up front, making sure to wipe your hands again in order to save torrejón the misery of shaking hands with your hot and sweaty ones.
as you’re looking down and adjusting, you don’t notice barca’s new captain walking up towards you.
you don’t notice that it’s in fact not torrejón.
you don’t notice until she walks up right in front of you, and you’re hit with the smell of perfume, one that you were so enamored with many years ago.
and almost immediately, the memories you had suppressed come flooding back.
there’s a sharp intake of air.
and then you look up.
~~
10 years ago
this was your last season with levante.
you knew that.
you had started talks with the staff at wolfsburg and barca, no longer wanting to stay in buñol anymore.
you had signed at the sweet age of 15, and two years later, you weren’t happy with where you were at.
now, 17, you’re more than happy to leave.
aside from being levante’s captain and star midfielder, the club didn’t offer you much.
regardless if you were leaving or not, you still were going to make sure you had one hell of a season.
making your way onto the pitch on the first day of training, you’re surprised to hear the swish of the ball hitting the back of the net.
you’re usually the first to arrive, so someone else being there was unusual to say the least.
you make your way behind the brunette girl, who doesn’t quite seem to register your presence.
you watch her take a few free kicks from behind.
the 11 on her jersey flows as the ball hits the back of the net each and every time.
putellas.
the name doesn’t ring a bell.
must be a new signing.
you clear your throat a little and the girl in front of you spins around so quickly she trips over the ball behind her.
her cheeks flush a little in embarrassment when her back hits the turf.
your cheeks flush too when you see her face.
she was… exactly your type.
high cheekbones… brown hair pulled up into a messy ponytail… arched eyebrows and-
you clear your throat quickly again to shake yourself out of your thoughts.
the girl is still looking up at you expectantly, and you blush before realizing she wanted you to help her up.
you stick an arm out and she grabs it without hesitation, smiling the whole time.
you smile back at her softly, desperately trying to ignore the sparks flying up your arm from the contact.
now infront of you, she was even more breathtaking up close.
“hola. soy alexia, mucho gusto.” (hi, i’m alexia, nice to meet you)
you grimaced slightly.
though you’ve played in spain for the past two years, your spanish was… subpar to say the least.
even then, you manage to get out a choppy, and heavily accented sentence.
“h-hola, uhh soy y/n?” (h-hi, uhh i’m y/n?)
alexia couldn’t hold in her chuckle.
you glare at her and mumble in dutch.
“hou je mond.” (shut up)
alexia laughs again and a quizzical look passes on her face before she tries again.
she sticks out her hand and this time what follows is spoken in heavily spanish accented english:
“i am alexia, nice to meet you.”
you smile and take her hand, replying with heavily dutch accented english in return:
“and i’m y/n. nice to meet you too.”
~~
you were phasing in and out as your coach droned on and on about training rules and protocols.
“okay and now for the partners…”
your ears perked up.
“rodriguez and garcia, y/ln and putellas…”
you turned and your eyes met alexia’s, both of you grinning widely.
honestly, now in hindsight, putting the two of you together was probably a mistake.
in a good way.
separately, you were forces to be reckoned with.
you had an almost dance like way of getting around defenders, shifting your weight and moving your body in ways they just never quite expect.
you also had almost perfect crosses at this young age, leading to almost every one of your crosses becoming an assist.
alexia on the other hand, scored goals.
her free kicks were always shot with so much power that it’s a miracle the goalies don’t have broken wrists after their pitiful attempts to stop them.
so put the two of you together, and you were unstoppable.
there was no way for you to lose during training.
the two of you were unbeaten 2v2 champions.
some of your teammates even began to complain about it.
but it didn’t really matter.
the two of you worked together before training and after training, so much so that you knew her like the back of your hand.
you knew just by instinct what alexia wanted and alexia knew by instinct what you wanted.
it was for that reason that alexia, just after being with levante for a season, broke the club’s all time goal scoring record.
and in that season, you had the most assists out of any player in the primera division.
but your chemistry didn’t stop there.
the two of you were inseparable off the field too.
from sunrise to sunset, the two of you were together.
the weekdays were full of training, the weekends full of movies and late nights in, watching movies on your apartment couch.
it wasn’t long before you moved in together.
as friends of course.
you invited her one day after practice, since she spent so much time there you basically already lived together, and of course, she agreed.
now you were together literally 24/7, and you wouldn’t have changed it for anything.
~~
present
when your eyes met alexia’s brown ones, you couldn’t think about the game anymore.
you think your brain has stopped working.
but luckily, alexia looks just as surprised as you.
you don’t mean for the breathy whisper that escapes to come out, but it does.
“ale…”
alexia’s breath hitches, and the two of you just stand there, dumbstruck, until the referee cuts in between the two of you.
“you’re supposed to shake hands now.”
alexia snaps out of it first.
“right.”
she sticks her hand out and smiles softly at you.
you try to compose yourself the best you can and take her hand.
you try not to make a fool of yourself on live television, but you think that’s impossible at this point.
you try to avoid it, but your heart is racing at the feeling of the girl’s hands in yours.
you both stand there a second longer than you probably should.
your hands linger just a bit too long, and even though you're trying to focus on anything but the electricity running between you, it’s hard not to notice how her touch still sends a jolt through you.
you can smell her perfume again, that same scent that used to be so familiar, and for a second, it feels like you’re back in another time, another life. everything around you fades out.
but then, the moment snaps back into place, and you pull your hand away, way too quickly, like it burned you.
you look down at your feet, just trying to hide the heat creeping up your neck.
“good luck,” you say, voice coming out a little quieter than you’d like.
“yeah,” alexia replies, her smile still there, soft but knowing.
there’s something in the way she says it, like it means more than just the words.
"you too."
she turns away then, and even though you should be focusing on the game, you’re just standing there, heart still racing in your chest.
your feet won’t move, not yet.
not until she’s far enough away.
you finally tear your eyes away, trying to focus on the pitch again, but it’s like the field’s become smaller, the sounds quieter.
all you can hear is your own heartbeat thudding in your ears.
you try to shake it off.
you try to forget about her, but every time you glance over, she’s there—her every movement pulling your eyes like magnets.
you catch a glimpse of her during a break in play.
she's laughing with her teammates, but when she catches your gaze again, her expression shifts, just for a moment.
like she’s still feeling the same thing you are.
you swallow thickly, trying to get back in the zone, but it’s like you're running in circles, chasing something you can’t quite catch.
the match drags on, the final minutes creeping by.
barcelona’s up 2-0.
the crowd’s starting to lose energy, but you can feel your team pushing, fighting. trying to claw back into this.
then, a miracle.
a ball comes across to you. you hear viv's voice in your head, urging you to take control, to make something happen.
but just as you’re about to move, you see her—alexia—closing in, just like you always used to.
old habits die hard.
you move without thinking, instincts kicking in.
fake one way, then cut left.
the other defender chasing you trips for half a second, and that’s all the space you need.
you're in the clear, for a moment, and everything feels like it’s falling into place.
but then—
the ball’s gone.
in a flash, alexia slides in, intercepting just before you can make your pass.
you barely see her coming, but you feel the hit when she clears the ball away from you.
for one breathless second, time feels like it freezes.
of course. she still knows you just as well.
her eyes lock with yours—those same brown eyes, sharp and unreadable—and all the noise in your head falls away.
there’s nothing left between you but that look, the history, everything unsaid.
you stand there, heart racing, just staring.
she’s still the same alexia—strong, sharp, intense—but there's something more now. something different.
for a second, you forget you’re playing against her.
you forget everything: the game, the score, the rivalry. all of it.
you forget it all.
but then, the whistle blows. the game is over.
barcelona wins.
the roar of the crowd brings you back, and you turn, pulling yourself back into the moment.
you make your way dejectedly off the pitch, but alexia’s face lingers in your thoughts, her every movement replaying in your head.
as you reach the tunnel, you glance over your shoulder.
she's standing there, her teammates around her, but her eyes are locked on you. softer now. almost like she’s waiting for something.
you don’t know how long you stand there, caught between the moment and reality.
the world seems to blur around you.
but then, the noise of the stadium fades, and you find yourself walking toward the locker room, thoughts racing faster than your feet.
~~
10 years ago
you and alexia had always been in sync.
at levante, it felt like everything just clicked—on the pitch, off the pitch.
you could read each other’s movements without a second thought.
passes were seamless, runs were timed perfectly, and the moments you shared after training felt as natural as the game itself.
it was almost like you’d been playing together forever, the connection so strong it pulled you both closer in ways neither of you had expected.
in the beginning, it was easy to fall into each other.
there were quiet evenings spent talking about everything and nothing, laughing over ridiculous things, or just lying together, not needing words to say how much you meant to each other.
everything felt like it was falling into place. the world seemed right when you were with her, like it was always meant to be this way.
but then, the phone call came.
barcelona.
for alexia, it was the opportunity of a lifetime.
the chance to play for one of the biggest clubs in the world, to push herself to the highest level.
it was everything she’d ever worked for.
it was her dream, and she couldn't turn it down. you knew that.
you knew how much this meant to her, how hard she’d fought for it, but it didn't make it any easier.
you both knew this was coming. you had known for some time it was your last season together.
but the reality of her being in barcelona, and you… not with her, was a heavy weight.
“i have to do this,” alexia said one night, her eyes filled with determination but something else too, something harder.
“i can’t let anything distract me. not now. not when everything is finally falling into place.”
you tried to be understanding, but it was hard.
“i get it, i do. but… what about us?”
she paused, eyes softening for just a moment before she spoke again.
“this is bigger than us. i can't afford to divide my focus right now. it’s not fair to you, and it’s not fair to me either.”
the words hit harder than you expected.
it’s not fair to you—it was as though she was saying that this relationship, the one you thought was everything, wasn't important enough to fight for.
the weight of her ambition, her desire to reach the pinnacle of her career, was more than you could ever be.
“so that’s it then?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, but she heard it.
you could see her struggling, torn between what she wanted and the love she had for you.
but there was no denying it—her focus was shifting, and it wasn’t on you anymore.
“i just… i need to focus on this. i need to focus on me.”
her words were gentle, but there was no mistaking the finality in them.
it stung, deeply.
you knew you had your own path, your own career to think about.
arsenal was calling too, and it felt like the universe was pushing both of you in different directions, but it didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
she didn’t want to do long-distance.
she didn’t want to divide herself in a way that made her feel less than whole.
and, in the end, she wasn’t willing to make room for you in that vision. "
i can’t afford to keep looking back," she said. "i need to move forward."
you couldn’t hold onto something that wasn’t there anymore.
her decision was clear, even if you still didn’t understand it fully.
the love, the chemistry, everything you shared—it felt like it wasn’t enough to bridge the gap that had grown between you.
and so, just like that, you both moved on, but not together.
her future in barcelona, your future in arsenal—each heading toward something bigger, but no longer with each other.
the weight of it lingered.
you couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe you weren’t as important as you thought you were.
maybe the love you shared wasn’t enough to keep her tethered, to keep you in her world.
and you wondered, sometimes, if maybe you were just part of the past she was trying to leave behind.
~~
present
later, after all the celebrations, the interviews, and the spotlight’s moved on to the next story, you find yourself standing outside the stadium. alone.
you need air. you need space to think.
and then, out of nowhere, you hear footsteps behind you.
you don’t turn around, but you don’t need to.
you already know who it is.
“y/n.”
it’s the same voice, and it feels like nothing’s changed.
"can we talk?"
you turn to face her.
for a moment, neither of you says anything.
it’s like the weight of years is pressing down on both of you, all the things unsaid hanging in the air.
and then the words you’ve been craving to hear.
“i’m sorry.”
it’s silent for a while. and finally, the question slips out before you can stop it.
“are you still the same person, ale?” once the words leave your lips, you wish you could take them back.
it sounds dumb. pointless, even.
alexia looks at you, a small, bittersweet smile playing on her lips.
“i think we both know the answer to that.”
she takes a step closer, but not too close. giving you space. giving you time.
you don’t know what to say, so you don’t say anything at all.
there’s tension in the air, so thick you can almost taste it.
everything you’ve both been holding back for so long hanging there.
and then, without a word, she pull you into a hug.
it’s not perfect, but it’s something. it's everything you both missed.
all the silence, the years, the distance—it falls away, like it never even mattered.
when you pull back, you finally manage a shaky smile.
“i guess some things don’t change after all.”
“no,” alexia replies, her eyes soft, “i guess not.”
and for the first time in years, everything feels calm again.
maybe the game wasn’t the only thing that needed to be won.
maybe it was you, too.
here's whats done and will be posted soon:
jessie fleming x reader: part 2 of the ucla!reader fic
alexia putellas x reader: rekindled love vibes
happy 2025 :D
oh and a leah williamson x reader: purely by accident pt 2.
long overdue but u know, felt inspired
triple fic drop!!!
surprise
here's whats done and will be posted soon:
jessie fleming x reader: part 2 of the ucla!reader fic
alexia putellas x reader: rekindled love vibes
happy 2025 :D
surprise
im going to prob dump and post my unedited stories from the past here in the next few days or so. clearing out my computer and found some gems lol
the masterlist has been updated too
look at me on a roll
surprise
im going to prob dump and post my unedited stories from the past here in the next few days or so. clearing out my computer and found some gems lol
I’m looking in my drafts and…
I have a purely by accident pt two & alexia fic over half finished.
Are ppl even still interested in reading them? I realize now how much everything is outdated (considering viv left arsenal rip) & stuff like that lol
Hello 👋
Hello friend!
