Hazel

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[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— jay vespertine; from the usual: full moon insanity

[justlifewelle]

[writtenbyhazel]

She held the sword, not because she wished to, but because she had to. Her petal-soft hands bled, and the crimson stained her heart, which leaked kindness through every wound. She changed. Not from hatred, Nor from ambition, But from the chains of her own morals- Virtues so rigid They forgot to let her live.

[writtenbyhazel]

How pretty you are, Emerging through the leaves, You look endlessly beautiful In this wide sky full of darkness. You shine achingly bright. Doesn't it hurt to shine alone? The clouds cover you like a curtain. Even with twinkling companions, or without them, You shine so beautifully. You have my heart. It must have taken courage, or wisdom, or whatever the philosophers say, to be alone, to do things alone, to just exist without anyone by your side. You must burn to shine. Yet, you're cold, but incredibly soft to my sight. Oh, moon, You're such a delight. ~ H a z e l

[writtenbyhazel]

PART - IV THE TEMPTER'S GAME

Before I could run, I fell again.

I woke up to this same— harsh, cruel, yet achingly right— voice.

I look around, and the same mirror appears again— yet it is different.

My red death candle once again burns a lively yellow.

The voice summons me again into its lifeless laughter, scheming.

“Oh, sinner, Have you ever thought of this cycle— of achingly right and greedily wrong, of greed and kindness, of heart and mind?

Of morals and life, of life and goodbye knives?

Will you look back into this hole within your own self once my bloody hands let you go?

Will you forget the care I kept you in?

Will you forget your sins— the sinner I once was, the demon I have become?”

I was about to speak— of all the things that had ever occurred to me about the devil—

yet I couldn’t.

I sharply fell as the floor disappeared into nonexistence, and I opened my eyes.

“How long will you sleep? It’s still daytime.”

My mother called from another room.

I woke up at my table, with sketches of devils and virtue scattered around me, a book lying wide open beside me— Demian.

My lamp flickered. Warm light came and went like life itself.

I closed all of it and walked out of the room, looking back at it just once— just enough, just a small glance.

And the book mumbled when all ears were away:

“Humans and their greed— doomed, so doomed, and so silly.

Mere humans and their small minds, wishing to be free from me.

Till another sinner wishes to be tempted, I shall rest within this boundless little book about me.”

That evil laughter echoed one last time as the book read:

“This cycle that I created for my freedom shall bind you till eternity.

I am the devil— your greed, your desire itself.

I am a form so formless that to find me, You must become greed itself.” ~ H a z e l

[writtenbyhazel]

PART - III THE TEMPTER'S AWAKENING

I woke up on this cold, lifeless floor I tried standing up walking again, But I hit something and I fell, hit something again, and fell.

My flame lights up again— red? A red flame?

Stable— It doesn't vanish anymore with each breath? Why? Am I dead?

I look up to see what I hit— a mirror.

A mirror.

Same girl, holding the same candle— but her flame, Her is yellow. Mine is red.

She smiles, looking at me, full of wince and malice—

Is— Is this the tempter?

How? I heard a deep and harsh voice before Assured it was a man How is this ME? Or maybe it is still him?

The sinner has fallen to where the tempter once rested? Is this where the tempter rested? In me?

The tempter— he betrayed me, took my life in exchange for my greed.

I put my hand out to reach him, but he disappears, his light getting stronger and stronger, while mine burns itself.

I collapse to the floor.

Who am I? Where am I?

Is this where the tempter spoke from? Where he fell into?

Was he just a sinner too? Has he become one again?

Or— Am I now the tempter? to tempt another sinner’s life, to end his, to begin mine? Is this where I have fallen to? Where am I bound to be? To these bleeding threads of Achingly rights and deadly wrongs? These piercing needles, Thinning my heart every time A breath passes too close to My mortal life, or maybe Is it no longer mine?

Why must I be a tempter to another sinner?

He calls again, same cruel whisper I turn around And run again And I don't know when I fell again .

~ H a z e l

[writtenbyhazel]

PART - II THE SINNER'S REFLECTION

I woke up to this boundless dark cage that imprisons me with nothing but mere mirrors, a candle, and me.

It’s dark— enough to not even see my own hand.

Each step of mine makes me ache with this stinging pain of needles, painted red— of love or rage— still bounded to my mortal roots.

Only this candle accompanies me. With each breath, it begins its own end. It comes and goes as if tracking my life, each counting my flickering breath.

With all the greed that was deep sown, I gather courage to look for my only hope— the evil, the tempter.

I call out— “The sinner has come. You shall reveal yourself.”

What follows is complete darkness, with my own voice reflecting:

“I am indeed here. You shall find me before the fire goes away— or your life will.”

Why— why does this sound like my own throat? But happier, dipped with pure mockery and arrogance, waiting to win.

It shivers me. So have I become the evil itself?

Or have I been engulfed into this bottomless pit of eternal darkness and temptations, full of greed and malice?

I shall walk— or run- right with this breath.

Look. Look for the tempter. Look around.

The flame- It comes and goes faster, in a hurry, like it has been summoned somewhere else. It appears more red— like the cruel blood I bleed.

Long before me, There appears a human holding a candle similar to mine, but no— Theirs is stable. Mine is not.

Is it because they are alive and I am deceased, or am I about to be?

I keep running to them in this dark cage, to reach nowhere.

The flame goes out. I still run, in only hopeful agony.

To end my end, I shall begin to begin.

[writtenbyhazel]

PART - I THE TEMPTER'S CALLING

The tempter caresses my head With the ill hands of seduction.

I, the sinner, have been called upon To be seduced, once and for all by all the immoralities of a mortal Disgustingly fascinating I know, Or maybe I should not have ever known .

His embrace engulfs the resting worldly emotions in me.

This world— mesmerising, achingly mesmerising, to ever let go.

Will the tempter let go of me into this world or another, to yet again eat me alive just one more time to let his winceful hunger stop whispering

This vicious cycle, Will he ever let me break the chains? Will I ever be just a free thought, leaving behind a part of me That doesn't breathe but lets others breathe?

A breath that doesn't cost them comparison of ill or intent of betrayals and trusts they will have to prove?

Will I ever be bound again To these blood-dirty threads sewed on me To these needles piercing deeper and deeper With each blow of my vengeful utterly human desires?

[aaru-aaruji]

JEON JUNGKOOK THIS IS INSANEESKJDKSWKS WHATTHEFUVSKSKSJ

[writtenbyhazel]

Would mortals ever desire Such sorrow to hold something as achingly delicate as yearning for one's beloved?

[writtenbyhazel]

I love the serene vastness out of my window I love it when I look up to the sky I adore it when the fellow creatures cross by But who do I ask? How to love my inner shadow? How do I love when I look at this mirror inside? How do I not break it, holding it tight? How do I keep it chained yet so free? So free, such freedom - beyond what mortals in their time would ever see. ~ H a z e l

[writtenbyhazel]

Sometimes you linger between- Between the seduction of sins and the unease of this realm's moral rights.

[writtenbyhazel]

This thrilling desire for you Makes me ache with lust Makes me a little insane Just enough to paint you with colors of me

[writtenbyhazel]

The stars shine upon me, they keep shining every day. Are those lovers in the sky, looking at me from their world, or is it a family of three? Maybe I will never know. I wish my fate on them, ask for luck and wishes to come true. What if they do the same, looking at me? What if I am also a star to them, while I am nothing but a mere human in this world? I wish I was a star, maybe to another, or to my sole star. Or maybe it’s the loneliness I wish on them alone, while they wish on me with another. Is it this cosmic language, or is it this human loneliness ceasing to exist inside me, or maybe galaxies away from me? Can I be a star to them, or to them? ~ H a z e l

[writtenbyhazel]

Shower me with love Shower me with pain Let me hold your hand Let's walk together through this beautiful terrain.

[writtenbyhazel]

Are you a dream or a hallucination that never fades, that just keeps getting stronger, till it has tested all my limits, for I am powerless now? Dreams may come true one day, but hallucinations, oh those wrathful creatures, they devour the very soul of yours and leave you in a hopeful agony of their return. ~ H a z e l

[crimsolyn]

I think the purest form of love is just wanting someone to notice life with you. "taste this. look at that. hear this song." again and again. until you can't imagine noticing life without them.