Words On Paper

Writer's block

[writtenwordsonpaper]

is there anybody out there?

[writtenwordsonpaper]

100th post

[exploration-a]

This is probably the most accurate description I’ve ever written.

[lieons]

this is still my favorite poem ever.

[exploration-a]

what about now

[writtenwordsonpaper]

"A POEM EVERYONE CAN RELATE TO"

you were mine until you weren’t

and i’ve been yours ever since where did you go?

[writtenwordsonpaper]

[exploration-a]

Need to continue the haikus

[writtenwordsonpaper]

I will never top this. I have peaked years ago.

[writtenwordsonpaper]

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[writtenwordsonpaper]

hello, again

[writtenwordsonpaper]

Siege

this time I built the walls too high I may have fucked this up

I’ve become so terrified of feeling the way I did all those years ago that I defended against any feeling at all

I used up my supplies garrisoned feeding only on my loneliness … I’ve built the walls too high yes, I’ll take the blame I hear them humming, dancing, drinking they can’t be far away though every effort to climb my way out the walls seem to grow

[writtenwordsonpaper]

if you were wondering it has been fifteen days since I've cut off the drugs cold turkey fifteen days and it doesn't seem like anything is changing amazing how I could have thought that all my problems could be fixed with a couple of pills downed with a couple of beers and a couple of years have passed in fact, I find myself questioning the day, week, month, year kind of like I've been away for a while kind of like I've been abstained from it all and after calamity there comes the fall where I drift and flip I toss and turn I dip down deep into the pockets of my minds eye and see the black but I can't tell if it's closer or farther from me and honestly what's the difference all of the pain just blurs into submission and sooner or later I become numb a twenty year old bum sort of like a plant touched by anything other than gods green thumb and I know I've made promises I haven't kept and I know it's been a while since you've wept so kid go ahead and weep on me lean on me use me as an adversary of catastrophe and when you're done toss me cause I could never say I wouldn't do the same it's a life of hard knocks living life indistinguishable from your own worst enemy somebody roll the credits, please somebody roll the credits, please

[writtenwordsonpaper]

the nightly routine.

i’m just detached
floating around
watching myself move
around and get
things done
shower
sleep
work and every night
before bed
i come back
reattach myself 
when i’m laying on my back
and staring up
and i say shit like,
“what’s the point”
or
“where is this taking us” but not much later after that
i wake up
and my eyes hurt
and this goes on
and on and
on

[writtenwordsonpaper]

I don't remember The last time I sat In the backseat of a car Staring through the Sun roof But I do remember The feeling And I haven't been able To recreate it Since I don't remember The last cigarette I had Or how the nights Felt occurring All around me But I do remember The taste I don't remember When I stopped crying And I don't remember The feeling I don't remember The feeling I don't remember The feeling

[writtenwordsonpaper]

sudden bursts of productivity probably the drugs the doses of chemicals my brain can't or won't produce on its own ... the irony the brutal irony is tiring

[writtenwordsonpaper]

And like A bow and arrow You pull me back Pull hard Harder Than you Ever have And I just have To keep praying You will let go And have me soar And land on my target Bullseye But more likely You'll keep pulling Until I break Spiraling Out of control The tension Grows

[writtenwordsonpaper]

The death of youth Is looking out a window And pulling Down the Blinds

[writtenwordsonpaper]

2015