Mero

+18 • She/her • Manga Spoiler Free

[wrong-melody]

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Mero

A melody that has gone wrong and so it is not worth listening to.

I write with a second language just to put English into something more 'melodic' than the 'scientific' university work.

Fluff • Angst • AU • SFW • Music based (sometimes) • Dark themes (with TWs) • NSFW

Anime: Tokyo Revengers (Currently)

Characters: ALL 18+

Inbox: closed, but I like to read your ideas and comments. Please feel free to send them.

Master List

Feedbacks are appreciated.

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[wrong-melody]

Do you write for Draken? If yes, is your inbox open?

Actually I don't, not yet at least. I am not confident enough to write for anyone beside Hanma and not sure how would everyone react ? I mean I feel like I am not doing justice for Hanma with my writing level so I can't do the others. This is why my inbox is closed. I don't see myself ready to write someones else's ideas in a decent way, I can't really mess with your ideas right ? If many people want me to write for other characters I might consider that just to see how would things go and I would be more than happy to do so. but I'm still not confident. Especially that English isn't my first language and there are many writers and blogs who would do better job with your ideas than me 🖤. Im very thankful for your asks tho. Thank you so much.

[wrong-melody]

I like your writing.

Thank you so much for liking my writing 🖤💖

[wrong-melody]

Master List

❤ NSFW - 💙 SFW - 🖤 Dark content

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[💙] A bored Zombie and a jealous Doll

[💙] Morning Coffee

[🖤💙❤] Hanma fiction (2/4)

[💙 Part 1] - [💙 Part 2]

[Part 3: Soon] - [Part 4: Soon]

[💙] Teen!Hanma, General headcanons

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Feedbacks are appreciated

List will be updated.

And thank you for reading.

[wrong-melody]

Teen!Hanma, General Headcanons

Chatacter: Hanma Shuji (16 years old)

Pairing: Hanma x Female Reader

Type: SFW.

TW: None, headcanons are based on what I personally think and my own analysis، they aren't necessary right and I don't force them on anyone.

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Hair + Hanma 

He would be the type who walks beside you and pulls your hair hard enough for you to be irritated and laugh at your reaction.

He would take your hair tie and wouldn't give it back until you beg, but even if you did, he might just say "you know what? I will use it. Go find another one". Even if it was pink in color with a cute butterfly or unicorn, no matter how it looks, he would use it on his hair at the same moment and good luck for your short hands to reach his head.

If you decided to style your hair and work hard on it, expect him to mess with it at one point through your day "you look better with messy hair". It is his way of giving compliments and probably he wanted to touch it. 

Annoying small things + Hanma 

If you wear bras, he would pull the straps because he likes the sound of the 'smack' it makes when it goes back to your body. But Shuji doesn't know how much that hurts sometimes. 

You two are drinking (coffee, soda, juice etc) but you need to use the washroom and so you gave him your cup ? Of course your drink mysteriously is half way or almost finished. He even wouldn't know which cup is for who if you bought the same drinks. Don't be angry, it is unintentional. He just doesn't mind really even if you drink his. 

Take your eyes off of your plate for a second and some meat is messing. Yes. It is intentional this time and he is as quick as a ninja. Bring it to him and he would shrug it off "seriously? I just saw you eat it and now you accuse me? Lets not start a food war and eat like decent civilians". You would question your memory many times.

He would extend his foot in front of you so you would trip over it and almost kiss the ground and break your teeth, but catches you on time every time, thankfully. He just wants to feel your warmth without asking and causes little harmless heart attacks. He lives on your reactions. 

If you have younger siblings I feel like he would have difficult times dealing with them, mostly because they are scared of this giant human, and for him, they aren't fun. You know that mentality that "I'm 16 years old. How do you think I can keep up with children? They are boring" (said your childish boyfriend). but one day your siblings are being brats and annoying more than usual ?? Believe me, Hanma took the lead and this is how they opened up to each other 😂. He would trick them into telling him all your embarrassing stories. Kids don't lie so you can keep denying as much as you want, he won't even listen to you. "Your little sibling told me you make their ears bleed becoz of your terrible singing skills. I wanna a free concert. Do one for me". He will annoy the hell out of you to sing for him but don't give in. If you did, you will be recorded and your amazing performance is gonna be his ringtone 😂.

Cooking + Hanma

Hopefully we are all agree that Hanma can't cook. He lives alone and probably his refrigerator only has water bottles or cheep bears. If you wanna visit, please pass by the grocery store first. He absoulty knows nothing about cooking but that doesn't mean he can't have opinions "I don't think this is how you are supposed to cut carrots, they aren't even in shape, your cooking skills suck as mine" just because one peice of carrot is a little bigger than the others. There is one time when he messed up the spices and your food had a questionable taste, he 100% blamed your skills. But seriously, he eats all things you cook even if you weren't the best at cooking in the first place. I don't see him as a picky eater but he has clear preferences. He would ask to be taught the easist things that can be done because cooking is boring. He isn't gonna waste time on it if he can quickly make something to live on. If you were baking a cake or cupcakes he will annoy you to ice it himself. Drawing skuls, writing HANMA, he will just be creative with his ugly icing but "it doesn't matter how it looks if it tastes delecious, right?" And you can't beat this logic. He would want to cook with you. See, keyword is (with you), which means him doing nothing but annoying you. Its gonna be fun though 😂.

Danger + Hanma 

He will persuade you to do things you have never done. "Skip the last class, you are just going home 1 hour earlier, it's not a big deal". Your parents told you must be home by 11 sharp ? He will try to make you go back by 11:30 "C'mon, thirty minutes aren't a big deal. Just tell them you lost track of time"

You would watch him buying beers/alcohol and no one is checking his ID. You can't be almost 2 meters tall and have tattoos if you are just 16, right? It's impossible, right?

He will convince you to try smoking and drinking with him even if you denied him few times. He would bring it up.  

Late night drives are about you on the back of his bike and him driving over the speed and skipping the red lights. 

There was a time when a police car chased both of you to give you a speeding ticket but they never caught you, thanks to him for being an expert of the small alleys and shortcuts. 

It was worth the thrill, the nice warm air and the bond that is getting stronger between you and him. Nights and days like these are many when he can't find any interesting fights. 

Animals + Hanma 

I mentioned that on my fiction but 10000% will hand you a small frog 🐸 because you just look similar to this creature. Not that you are disgusting don't get him wrong but you are just as tiny 🥺 "see, they look like you. Cute little thing" that's what he says but the truth is for teasing purposes. If you don't like frogs and started to run away, be sure he is running after you with the devil in his hands. 

I personally believe he prefers bigger dogs rather than smaller ones but surprisingly he has a good relationship with animals. I just don't see him having pets because 1: he can't afford the money and time for them 2: he is irresponsible and he is aware of that. 

But say you have your own pet, he would play with them and they would like him. He would ask you about their care routine and show interests but that's it. He will go with you if its time to walk your dog for example, and he might do it himself. He is generally nice to animals in comparison to humans.

This is why he gives me the vibes that he would catch small frogs after the rain, talk to them sometimes, tell them all his thoughts and secrets until they jump from his hand, they can live on their own and they don't get attached to humans.

But he would dislike spiders and insects. 

Pictures + Hanma 

He would take pictures of you when you aren't paying attention. He will capture almost all of your facial expressions. But he will only show you (or blackmail you) the most embarrassing pictures of you. Picture of you drooling, having some food between your teeth, spacing out with your mouth open, there are many. You won't know about the nice pictures of you at all, that would just expose how soft he can be and soft Hanma is hidden most of the time. 

Hanma is 192 cm tall. So taking selfies with him depends on you. If you are 170+ cm you are just .. as tall (😂 said the 157 tall writer) so taking selfies isn't a problem but if you are shorter then we have different stories.

You need to ask him if you want to take selfies because with your short hands he won't be on the camera range, so he has to either take them by himself or he bends a little bit down to reach your height and be on the camera (he always tell you that he is gonna break his back because of you being VERY short 😂). Or you have to stand on a chair or a box. 

Period/catching cold or illnes + Hanma 

He would be quiet around you when you are sick and catch cold, "its no fun when you are sick, get well" his teasing levels will go from 100 to 85 for you just this time 😂. See how special you are? You should be thankful he isn't annoying you and hiding the tissue box somewhere in the room.

but always mixes your cold medication with your yummy soup and ruin its taste. His intention is under question. To tease you or he really wants you to get well ? You never know.

The teasing level will go lower than that depending on the severity of your illness. If it's more than cold, he would visit you more if it's something serious. 

If you were to be hospitalized, he would come every other day and will always tell you stories about what he does "and in the end, you better get well soon to rule the world with me". 

If you are on your period he will be gentle (according to the gentle definition in Hanma's dictionary)

He is a giant human heater by default so heating pads are unnecessary when his hands are on top of your lower stomach.

You aren't in the mood to talk? You wanna silence ? You have it. 30 minutes maximum before he breaks it with a silly joke. As expected from Hanma.

If your emotions are all over the place in these days, he will try his best to tone down his annoying jokes and behaviors. keyword again: tries.

Study/school + Hanma 

Boy has dropped school, so if you are peacefully studying at home he will visit "Two brains preparing for a test is better than one right?" That's what he said but he just sits beside you and colors the black and white pictures in your textbook, draws random stuff, writes his initials and "I ♡ H" or " I LOVE SHUJI" on every page of your books/notebooks. You know how in kindergarten parents write their phone numbers in the first page of notebooks under their kids full name and class number? Shuju will write his number under your name as if you were a kindergarten kid. Oh? you are a high school student and you don't write your name anymore? Don't worry he will write your name for you and his phone number, just in case you got lost you know.

He would distract you with silly stories, videos, memes, you name it. And will ask you to take a snake break every 10 minutes. Probably he came to your home to eat food ? Probably.

He would take your pens away. If you are allowed to use a calculator in your school, he might play with it until he change its settings and you have no idea how to set it back. 

"lemme see what the hell you are studying. if X+10 =10 then find the value of X. Can we change X to H ? If Hanma fought 10 guys we will have 10 dead bodies. So the value H is so strong"

If you study something that requires a lot of your memory space like History or Literature, for example, you need to study about how kingdom X was destroyed by a Kingdom Y, he will create his own version of that history and that's what you will remember, Hanma's version. Good luck in the test. The teacher might praise your creativity for creating a new the history of these kingdoms.

You both would laugh at his lame jokes and suddenly the moon is in the sky and you studied nothing. Of course it is not his fault at all. He was just helping you, to make sure you aren't so stressed and relaxing.

If you scored bad on a test "you know you can always set the school on fire, I will help you" he is trying to make you laugh + comfort you at the same time. Clever Hanma.

Say you have a bad relationship with a teacher, they are being mean to you, Hanma would walk you to school just to see that teacher, and he will find ways to prank them. He will find their car/bicycle and break their tires, or attach a fake parking ticket, he will show his graffiti talent on their cars. He will write SHINIGAMI with red spray and the whole school will think the teacher has been cursed. Hanma is smart enough to not be caught on the car camera tho, so the SHINIGAMI remains a mystery.

Emotions + Hanma 

You would have your moment of silence amd they are comfortable.

He wouldn't mind having quiet times. He appreciates silence and would be a great listener if you needed to talk. 

If things were serious, he would listen and catch between the lines sometimes. 

He would have days when he is being very quiet. Very very quiet. 100% unlike his usual self. Days when his brain is full of thoughts and he is having a time with himself to think.

And when he has these days, he will kind of isolate himself from everyone and be somehow distant from you. 

He doesn't really know how to approach his own emotions so he might struggle with yours too. But the more you are together, the more he learns about you and himself. 

He would joke around his pain and laugh at himself sometimes just to not show you how hurt he is. You have to read between the lines to know what's hidden behind these jokes.

But he can snap and everything will overflow.

You already know how Happy-Hanma looks like and how Angry-Hanma looks like. He wouldn't try to hide his anger. His presence would feel different anyway, the atmosphere around him or his aura would feel different too. You will know and he will make it clear that he is angry without saying a word. 

It depends on the reasons and the causes but I don't think Hanma would be violent towards you as the first thing to do if he is angry. 

He might get calm if you insert some logic into his mind but as I said he can snap and be violent. 

He can break things, but that doesn't happen a lot. He would prefer to get himself into more violent or bloody fights until he calms down. 

Or at least until his physical pain from fights is stronger than all the emotions he has at these moments. 

I don't see him as the type to apologize, at least not by words. Actions speak louder for him. He would do the little things you like, his first attempt is to tell some jokes which would fail of course. But give him the chance to try, he knows when he has messed up and he will try in his own ways to make it up for you. 

I don't see him to be the type who would be quick to get attached to people for sure, but he would have difficult times dealing with any breakups or death of those who he considers close (did you see how he reacted to what happened to Kisaki? I won't say they have a nice friendship but hey he won't react like that if Kisaki wasn't close to that extent for him). Things would be more difficult once he realizes how empty his life is, and how your presence can fill it. But it is also when he realizes that how shitty he is as a person and that deep down he is not the best. Far away from it. There would be the conflicts inside of him no matter how much you assure him.

But as he gets older, he would stop doing most of the above. He used to joke about himself and laugh at his own pain? He would stop at one point. Not because he doesn't want to, or because he became mature and learned to handle his hurt self better, but because he couldn't, anymore. (Present age Hanma in all timelines). 

As he gets older, he wouldn't talk much about himself as he used to. Not about him keeping secrets (which he does anyway) but he changes the directions of the conversations to be more about you and less about him. More about your days and work and less about his. He does it a lot without you realizing that. And really if you have a long time relationship with him, at one point you would realize that you don't know him well or at all, and all the things you have known are just from his past self that doesn't exist anymore and the unresolved inner conflicts from his younger self would evovle into something more miserable, and this is a red flag because that where his manuplsntion tactics are coming from.

As he gets older, he would be more quiet. I think this is true seeing how he acts in all the timeskips but that comes with the things that used to cause adrenaline rush into him. 

The things that used to be fun aren't fun anymore, which means he seeks his adrenaline from something else, more dangerous and crazier things that are harmful for himself and everyone around too. 

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I think General adult Hanma headcanons deserve its own post. I'm thinking to write that but tell me if you are interested.

Feedbacks are appreciated

Thank you for reading.  

[introvert--weeb]

BROKEN TOY

Hanma X f!reader (angst)

TW: mentions of blood, violence, death

Lyrics from Broken Glass by Three Days Grace

----

We march the streets at night

Looking for a thrill, looking for a fight

It was the first day of the rest of our lives

We work fast, never gonna die

Riding up the highway, forty-five

We didn’t know it couldn’t go on forever

You were both young when you had met Hanma. He was the older kid you often found yourself following, completely in awe of him. You were like a lost puppy, excited to just simply be there and getting attention. After all, you had hardly any at home due to your parents' busy lives and being an only child. So Hanma was your hero, someone you admired above all others, someone you had fallen head over heels for.

As you both got older, you would follow him in his pursuit for chaos. Shoplifting? You happily hid the items under your jacket. Assault? They must have deserved it, after all your Hanma wouldn't lash out unless provoked. Murder? If it came to that point, you would hand yourself over in his place.

Over time, you became just as crazy as he was. You actively provoked others to start a conflict. Sure you didn't win most of the time, left slumped over with blood dripping from your nose and mouth, but when Hanma would extend his hand to help you up again, it all became worth it.

There was one time you remembered that you had stolen a high schooler's bike to simply joyride with the boy. You were mad for him and because of him. Laughter rang out in the night air as you sped down the roads, Hanma behind you with a huge grin on his face. He knew you would be fun to keep around. All he had to do was whisper a few sweet nothings to you and you were willing to do anything to please him.

These antics were quickly a nightly occurrence and you had both made a name for yourselves in the delinquent world. The Shinigami. You couldn't help but feel the name suited him so well. A God of Death, someone who is unable to die. After all, this would last forever.

We fought to rule the world

Not knowing just how fragile we really were

Like it was the first day of the rest of our lives

Then the bricks began to fall

And we can see the cracks along the wall

We didn’t know it couldn’t go on forever

You watched as Hanma had become one of Kisaki's pawns, a mixture of feelings swirling your mind. Anger at how this boy thought he could use your precious Hanma in that way; Jealousy at how invested your love had become with the new boy; and Joy as he spoke about how you both would rule Japan as the top dogs alongside Kisaki. Just as long as you followed what he said and fought whoever he told you to.

Nights were spent together, you listening to the lanky male about all the things Kisaki had planned. How he would act as the head of Mobieus to take down Toman. The fight that would take place between the gangs on Halloween.

You simply listened. You loved the way his face lit up when he had found something fun to be part of. You wished he would look like that when he was talking about you, excited that you were there. After all the things you had been through together, he didn't speak of you like he did Kisaki. That was when you realised it. As heartbreaking as it was, you were simply a broken toy that Hanma had taken with him. Not as good as the new shiny toys that turned up but kept around for familiarity.

Pushing that thought to the back of your mind, you just went along with the taller male. After all, he was all you had and you were too far gone to turn back. Maybe he did love you in his crazy way, keeping you around because he cared about you. You clung to that hope, your heart fluttering as you convinced yourself it was true.

It would soon be back to the way it was before, you were sure of it. You and him, causing chaos together forever. He was your love, and they said love is forever, right?

We believe that we can go on forever

Bloody Halloween had arrived and you were fighting to keep your precious Hanma safe. As long as he was OK, you would take out the entirety of Toman single handedly if it came down to that. Love makes you do ridiculous things after all.

All of it was following Kisaki's plan. There was just one thing neither you nor Hanma had known would happen. Kisaki had seen you as a distraction where having a useful pawn was concerned. After all, how could he make sure Hanma was 100% behind him and his plan when you were there to remind him of the fun he had running solo? The answer was he couldn't. And so you had to be taken out of the picture. Permenantly.

Knocking away another Toman member, you tried to suck in as much air as possible into your lungs. You were quickly running out of steam and your muscles were screaming for a rest. However, you had to keep Hanma safe and so you dug deep to gather that small amount of energy your body had left. Ready to take on the next person, you were suddenly frozen to the spot.

Behind you, a member of Mobieus, on Kisaki's orders, had plunged a knife through the back of your neck. The blade penetrated the skin easily, puncturing your esophagus. You couldn't breathe. You were drowning in your own blood.

Hanma had witnessed what had happened, the scene playing out in slow motion. Why would someone from his gang do that? Did Kisaki know about this? Would you be OK? He was surprised at the overload of concern he was being suffocated with. It almost felt like the world stopped but he was sure the brawl was still happening.

He didn't love you. He knew that you were simply someone that followed him around, hung off every word that left his lips. So why did he feel his heart breaking... Why was there anger at the boy holding the knife? Hanma couldn't make sense of anything anymore. The only one supposed to die was Baji. Not you.

Your eyes had caught sight of Hanma, noting how he seemed to be staring right back at you. He would be fine, you knew that much. You felt the warmth of your blood dripping from your mouth and the wound, you could feel how the blade was pulled out harshly. Forcing your lips into a soft smile towards the one you love, your body fell forward and faceplanted on the ground.

This was never meant to last forever. No matter how much you wanted it to, you were bound to part from Hanma one way or another. After all, you were simply a broken toy he had picked up along the way.

[wrong-melody]

Morning Coffee

Charachter: Hanma Shuji (Present age)

Pairing: Hanma X female Reader

Type: Fluff

Trigger warning: None, Hanma being Hanma, appearance of Kisaki

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"I'm pretty sure I don't have a 3 years old kid. Why is there one in my kitchen ? They are also making coffee not milk? Tsk tsk. Kids these days" 

You heard him very well saying that in a mocking and raspy voice since he just woke up. Hanma lives on water, food, oxygen, fights and teasing the hell out of you for being short. 

"Little girl, listen, when I was at your height I only had milk. Drinking adult stuff like that won't make you big" 

He said after giving you a back hug and resting his head on top of yours. 

"Did we run out of milk? What's your favourite brand? Which one do you prefer? chocolate milk or stra-..." 

He stopped after you gave him a hit by your right elbow on his stomach with all of the power you got at 7 am. 

"Hanma Shuuji! I think you have never fought a women who has boiling water between her hands" 

Did he just chuckle ? Yes. 

"Well, I haven't but-..." 

"And we both know that hot water burns and it's way painful than any injury you got from all the fights you had" 

He pat your head as if he was calming a kid 

"Calm down little one. Big girls don't fight" 

You sighed. Sometimes you don't know how he gets this energy every time he wakes up in the morning considering how he sleeps late. Always managing to get on your nerves about your height. 

"I am not a kid. I'm 158 cm tall. You are just too tall. Almost 2 meters. Anyone is like a kid if they stand beside you" 

You said while pouring the hot water into your coffee beans as you felt him tightly hugging you than before. 

"That's true too but you know what? 12 years ago a middle school girl told me she would get taller than 150 cm" 

You finally turned around to see his sleepy face despite his energy. 

"I said I would get taller than 158! Why do you keep saying that I am 150 cm ?" 

He laughed at your serious tone as he put your hair strands behind your left ear 

"You aren't telling me you are really proud about these 8 cm babygirl ? Beside, you haven't even grown 1 cm ever since" 

"Shuji. Do you have your phone with you ?" 

His previous smile disappeared upon hearing your serious question but he still gave you his phone 

"What's with that tone?" 

You didn't answer as you were busy reading a certain article after you typed something on the search bar. As curious your giant boyfriend can be he stood beside you after leaning his back on the counter reading out loud. 

"How to treat a burn from boiling water ? One: Apply cool running water to cool the area for at least 20 minute. Two: if the burn co- ...." 

You turned off his screen and looked at him directly into his eyes 

"I will tell Kisaki that you are injured if you want to." 

He only nod, challenging you with a smirk.

"Do whatever you want my precious 150 tall babygirl" 

You didn't waste a second from calling Kisaki and he didn't take long from answering 

"Hanma, if you call me at 7 in the morning just because you are bored I swear I will ... " 

"Hanma is injured and wouldn't be working for the day" 

You seriously told Kisaki while still maintaining your eye contact with your beloved boyfriend. 

"Y/N ? Hanma isn't weak to-.."

"You will see it by yourself tomorrow. And yes. Hanma is VERY weak" 

You hanged up after emphasising how weak your boyfriend is, and not really in the mood to talk to Kisaki anymore. 

"I gave you a day off so that should be enough to treat me well. Right ?!" 

You asked him. Really wanting him to stop teasing you. 

"But babygirl. Kisaki will be so angry if I went to work tomorrow uninjured. Wouldn't appreciate us lying to him like this." 

You sighed again as you decided to ignore him for now. So you went back to complete your coffee but of course Hanma wouldn't stop. He started to poke your cheeks. 

"If I buy an ice cream you wouldn't be angry anymore, right?" 

Patience. You reminded yourself. Be patient, get your coffee done, drink it and you will calm down eventually. 

"Or chocolates. Kids love chocolate, don't they ?!' What's your favourite flavour? Mint?? I will get you mint chocolate big girl." 

God ! Is he even suggesting to buy you the most flavour you hate now ?! He is literary getting on your nerves and this damn coffee hasn't ... 

"Oh little girl ? I can see a vein in your head. Would you like to watch Tom & Jerry?. It should make you feel bet ...." 

That's it. You tried to throw your coffee at him but you couldn't hold your hot cup carefully out of frustration and you ended up spilling some of it on your hand. You whined in pain since you felt a burning sensation, and Hanma was so quick to hold you under the running tap water. Not as stupid as anyone would believe. 

"Seriously? At least hold it right to throw at me. how can you even spill it on yourself like that ?" 

It wasn't fair. Why is he even angry at you when it is his fault from the first place? 

You tried to move but he didn't let you since you are being back hugged again while he is holding your hand under the water 

"I'm sure you read that article too. It said to cool down the area under the water for at least 20 minutes. You aren't going anywhere for the next 30 minutes" 

If you were honest to yourself and him too, you barely spilled few droplets, your reaction was because of the hot sensation but he was so quick to act and that's somehow scared you even more. You didn't know your idiot boyfriend would have such a reaction, so fast that he wouldn't even see your cup. 

"I'm okay. It's not serious as you think" 

You replied but you felt him holding your hand stronger than before 

"I'm not gonna argue about it anymore Y/N"

"No. I'm really okay. Look at the coffee" 

He gives it a look. Why your cop is .. full? A pout on his previous panicked face as he stared at your hand after he pulled it out of the water. He can see the red spot. You didn't lie about whining in pain. But also, were they just droplets ? 

"What a weak girlfriend. How can you just scream from that ?"

"So I'm not a kid anymore but a girlfriend? Beside, it hurts and your reaction scared me"

"If we gonna stay like that for 30 minutes I would really appreciate silence" 

He said after he put your hand back under the running water and rested his head in top of yours again.

"My coffee will be cold by then" 

"You really know I don't care about your damn coffee right now, right ?!" 

You sighed again and tried to get your hand away 

"Shuji, I really want to drink coffee in peace. That's all I'm asking for. I wasn't serious. I can't hurt you. And what happened was because you teased the hell out of me and I became frustrated. Drinking this coffee is reasonable more than having my hand under water for half an hour .. though it is supposed to be 20 minutes'' 

You really tried to talk reasons into your childish boyfriend. At this point you aren't angry anymore but worried about your precious coffee that will cool down even before you have a taste. 

"I know all of that and I still don't care about that damm coffee. I will make you one later. Now shut up and enjoy the running water" 

You gave up. It took you 30 minutes before he let you go and sit on the sofa waiting for the coffee he said he will make for you. You closed your eyes trying to relax after the overwhelming teasing, waiting for the strong coffee aroma to hit you. But why can't you smell anything ? Probably Kisaki has his own way of making coffee. He is a coffee addict and you are sure Hanma picked his ways of making it.

Judging from the noise you can hear from the kitchen you aren't sure why you can hear sounds of broken ice. Yeah Kisaki probably likes his coffee iced. No problem. Maybe you should ask him how he drinks his coffee next time because Hanma won't make it perfect, yet you welcomed the offer since it's just Hanma's way of apologising. 

In five minutes you felt Hanma's presence in front of you so you slowly opened your eyes to meet his. 

"Here is your coffee babygirl" 

He said with his signature smile on his face after he put the cop on the table. And knowing him for 12 years, nothing good comes with that smile. 

You finally looked at the cop. 

"Since when coffee has this color ?!" 

You asked as you were inspecting the light white color of your coffee. 

"I did it as Kisaki does it a million times in his office. If Kisaki likes it you should be okay with it" 

"What's the straw for ??"

He gave you a disbelievable look after hearing your stupid question.

"Doll? You haven't had iced coffee before ?" 

You sighed. No more energy to reply anymore. You took the cop and took a sip. Then two. And by the third one you finally explode 

"DAMN YOU SHUJI ! I ASKED FOR COFFEE NOT MILK !!! NO WONDER IT'S PURE WHITE" 

Of course he would laugh at you. Almost dying from fun too as he sat beside you.  

You grabbed his phone from the table beside the cup and dialed that number again 

"'KISAKI!! HANMA IS DEAD AND I WILL BURY HIS BODY BY MYSELF" 

You seriously told him while your soon to be dead boyfriend is barely breathing from laugh.

"Kisaki will literally kill both us if you dragged him at this" 

"As if you weren't the one who told me that Kisaki, a grown ass man, drinks pure milk and only milk every morning" 

Just hearing that sentence out loud made Hanma laugh harder than before but that  sentence didn't go unheard by Kisaki.

"You know what Y/N ? Put me on the speaker"

You quickly put him on speaker to let your boyfriend hears him too.

"let me help you in burying Hanma. I'm done with him" 

"Im done too" 

"I'm done with myself as well'" 

"Damn/fuck you" 

You and Kisaki said in sync as you both know how annoying this man can be. Yet, he seems to have the fun of his life at this moment. 

"Hanma. Serious business at 9. It's gonna take time." 

And with that Kisaki hanged up and the playful mood that was on your giant boyfriend is slowly fading, yet his smile is still on. 

"Guess you will be on your own for the day, doll"

You know Kisaki was serious too when he said his last sentence so you nodded.

"Is it fun shit ?" 

"2 out of 10 on the fun scale" 

You smiled. Not fun at all so it's not dangerous. If its not dangerous then no need to worry. 

"Then you better hurry and come back. I'm more fun than that" 

He smiled resting his head on your lab 

"Nah. You're barely 5 out of 10. Work on yourself if you wanna entertain me" 

You sighed as you heard him teasing you in a sleepy voice. 

"Wake me up after 40 minutes. And you better drink your milk and get bigger" 

You really wanted to spill all the milk on his face at this point but damn, he peacefully fell asleep in seconds with a soft smile on his face and you couldn't ruin it. Your giant man is still tired. You thought and softly smiled, trying to enjoy your morning milk.

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Feedbacks are appreciate || Mero

I was feeling down so I decided to write this thing. Probably out of character? But whoever is reading this, thank you so much 🖤

[wrong-melody]

Hanma (live action actor) is bored 🥺. Look at him 🥺 yall look at him 🥺 my man is looking for fun and barely having any at the arcade 🥺☹❤ and what the hell ? How tall is Hiroya Shimizu ? His upper half is long 😍😍😍. Just see how he straighten his back and damn thats like 1 meter 🤩😍🥺. My heartbeats are faaaast im in love 🧡🧡💛💛🖤🖤🖤

[tokrev-roses]

About Dark Content

For the sake of the LORD, stop harassing writers who mind their own damn business.

Surprise, putting a trigger/content warning in front of a post means the writer acknowledges that the following content is not healthy, safe and easy to consume, so keep scrolling instead of feeling like you are a warrior of justice, calling them out in public and stuff. Who are you helping with that?

Do I like every dark content that is written? No. What do I do? Keep scrolling.

Do I like writing toxic relationships? Yes. Am I in a toxic relationship? No. I am a fully emancipated woman, who knows this is problematic. Would let no man lay his hands on me.

Did reading 'Fifty Shades of Grey' turn my mother into someone who likes power abuse on all levels? No, she a grown ass woman to.

I would understand if writers openly post their stuff without any warnings, but all writers I've seen are very clear with their tw. (some are not, I know that too, but tell them instead of trying to start a witchhunt.)

You know what is problematic? Trying to sell something as oh so romantic and lovely, when it is quite literally toxic as well. You know who did that? Stephenie Meyer, author of Twilight.

I'm not shaming you for being sensitive about this kind of content, there are certain tropes I too can't read. But putting a warning in front is like an age restriction you know? They don't sell you 'SAW' as a family friendly movie, they have an age restriction and content warning. Thats what media does.

Stop making up problems that are not existent. Would love to see y'all if writers stopped being active in this fandom.

[wrong-melody]

I think Tokyo Revengers as a work is 'Dark content' by itself. It is rated 17+ in Mal, which means really half of the fandom should not be engaging and watching the Anime or reading the Manga in the first place.

Not only Violence or Profanity, but even for nudity, implied sex, sexual jokes, implied rape/explicit mention of rape (there was even a whole pannel about that girlfriend of Pachin'friend being gangraped and seeing that was disturbing for me ), drugs, and other mental/life issues. The work is heavy even though it has minor characters who are subjected to all/half of that in the past and/or in the present. The work itself is a trigger warning for all of us someway somehow if we really wanna say even those who are adult can be triggered even with these kind of things too. So its not like (I'm adult = nothing can trigger me), triggers aren't only for minors but for everyone, and I believe if a writer has stated them clearly, they have done their own job and reading that content is up to the readers. Just like how the TR work is rated 17+ for all its dark content but hey ? Nobody is saying anything to the writer (Wakui ken) 🤷‍♂️ and yet some of you just keeps reading/watching and enjyoing the work despite all the triggers.

What the fans do as in writing dark contents (sexual/non-sexual) I believe is just exploring for the darker dimensions of a character that most of the time isn't explicitly shown/stated. Yeah, they are mostly are just fan-canons, but they are really based on hints, events from the actual work and analysis of the character despite if that exploring is being done in a good or bad way (doesn't make sense/totally out of character). And by understanding these dimensions you also get to understand the characters better and personally this why I like reading/writing these kind of content. Yeah, some fans have their own fantasies, sure, but thats not the whole picture.

[wrong-melody]

Is this a kid looking at an adult ?

Sorry takimitchy you are just like this 🤏 when you stand beside Hanma 😆.

Hanma should have called the police. A 3 years old kid is lost 🥺☹

[wrong-melody]

Why nobody is talking about how HANDSOME Hanma's live action actor is ? Pllllleeeeeze look 🥺🥺🥺❤❤❤❤ Hiroya Shimizu is the main star of the movie and nobody can convince me otherwise 🧡🖤❤

[wrong-melody]

Charachter: Hanma Shuuji

Pairing: Hanma X female Reader

Type: Pure fluff. Angst

Warning: Implied NSFW/Rape but nothing happened/no description. Chaotic Hanma

Chapters: Part one || Part three (soon)

Songs based:

Rainbow - Masaki Suda

Love the Way You Lie 2 - Rihanna

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

(1998 || Past)

"It's okay to cry"

Those words have saved me

Thank you so much

Even though I'm so pathetic

Even though I'm so sloppy

But just thinking about you,

tomorrow will shine brightly

"Is sad clown ?!"

Your favorite trouble maker friend asked you with a concern shining from his orange eyes, and in a serious voice, as serious as an 8 years old kid can be. He sat in front of you at the playground, invading your personal space as he wanted to look closely at your eyes which meant, based on his childish logic, to be closer to your face with few inches away just to take a better look at you, and at your soul too.

"I'm not a clown but yes I'm sad."

"You are definitely a clown but why sad ?!"

He asked and his eyes were still fixated at yours .

"I’m not. And they always tell me to not play with their children because I'm a dirty orphan and i'll make their kids dirty. Do I make you dirty too ?"

A pout on your face was inevitable but you asked him with glossy eyes from tears with the last question.

"Who are they ?!"

You finally looked away from him breaking that long eye contact, looking at a few parents who came to get their children from the playground.

"These adults. All of them. Even though I told them that I always wear clean clothes, wash my hands and take a shower every night, they still say I’m disgusting. You think so ?"

He finally stood up and hold your hand to stand with him.

"You don't make me dirty. You make me happy. So when the clown is sad I become sad too. I don't like sad clowns so I don't like you sad"

You couldn't really reply to his childish logic as you were amazed with what he confidently said with the most innocent smile for a kid but that quickly turned into a smirk.

"Lets go and punish these tall creatures for making my clown sad"

"I told you I'm not a clown. But how we will punish them ?! What we should do ?!"

You asked him. But he didn't answer as he bend down to collect some small rocks from the ground with a wide grin.

"Collect as much as you can"

You did as he told you. To collect as much as your small hands could fit for probably 7 small rocks.

"Good. Follow me"

Your trust in Hanma was long time built without your realization about when and how since you know him for a year now. So blindly following him isn't a surprise at all. You both stopped closer to where those parents and neighbors talking with each other as they hold their children hands, faking smiles and laughs as social interactions must be.

"In the count of 3, do as I do, 'kay?"

"Kay!!"

Of course no question was asked.

"One .... three!!!!!"

He started to throw all the rocks he got at the parents with a grin on his face, and you followed him, throwing your rocks at the kids who annoyed you while both of you were laughing at them, and at their funny and shocked reactions. Soon, a father, who had a big round swollen bump on his forehead, started to shout at both of you.

"You freaking brats!!!!!!!"

"You damn fucking old man"

Hanma cursed and shouted back with a big smile which made you laugh too. As the old man started to walk toward you, Hanma quickly hold your hand and you both run away.

·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·

(2002 || Past)

It's okay even if it's not a big dream

It's okay to be yourself

When you get lost alone,

"Is sad clown?"

just thinking back of those times

Hanma asked you as he, again, was not giving a damn care about personal space, always in need to look at your eyes and be physically close to your face. For a better look as he always claimed.

"I am not a clown. And I am not sad"

"Lier. You are a clown and a sad one too"

You can't lie. At this point of your life that has been going for 12 years now, you can never ever lie to him. You can't hide anything too. Even if you hide a small tiny chocolate for yourself, he always find out about it and steal it. Stupid Hanma.

You sighed. Not in the mood at all as you were laying down in your bed, at your shared room with other younger kids at the orphan. Today you called it a day and didn't go to school afar faking your sickness to the elders, and once Hanmas knew about it, he gave himself a day too and skipped school after attending half of the first class. Clingy friend as ever.

"I am just lost"

You said after you rolled over to gave him your back as you faced the wall, while he was laying behind, taking the spot of one of the other orphan girls who sleep beside you. He got up and quickly grabbed your hand and pulled you to sit as well. You don't know since when he got stronger and taller. At least more than you and most kids at his age.

"Why ?!"

You avoided his gaze.

"I just ..."

You couldn't form a sentence. But he hold your face with his big hands, to look at him. At his eyes.

"You know I am 12 years old now right ?"

"Yes we celebrated it last week. Whats about your age?"

He asked in anticipation.

"Kids who are 12 years and older have lower chance in adoptation. I have been here as far as I could remember. They never get adopted, basically."

"So you are sad because you will never have parents ?"

"Mmm kind of"

"Lie ... nah not a lie but not the complete truth tho"

You finally hold his hands to let him leave your face in peace.

"Can I keep it to myself ? I don' wanna to talk about it"

He hummed as you avoided his gaze again. If you kept looking at his eyes any longer, you will spill everything, as you always do.

"Okay then. Keep it to yourself. But just a reminder, I really don't like sad clowns"

"As I said I’m not a clown. That has nothing to do with me"

·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·

He only gave you a small smile before he went out of the room.

The next day, all the five girls who mocked you for being poor, ugly, orphan, and not a princesses like them, who told you that you will forever be a maid, a low life to serve those who are higher, had their hair cut in the most ugliest way you have ever seen, and one of them went bold as a huge gum stuck at her hair with no way to take it out but shaving it as you heard from a classmate. The girls also had a frog in their launch box and almost fainted from shock and disgust. And with that you just knew, no matter what, Hanma will always get your back. Plus, a sign that you can't hide anything, no matter what, even if you keep it to yourself and let it eat you inside and alone.

(2006 || Past)

I want you to entrust me your lonely nights

On happy days, I want to laugh with you

It seems, any words would never be enough

Maybe because

I've been touched by your warmth

Hanma grabbed your hand to turn you around but in instinct you tried to kick him too. To throw hands. To slap. To do whatever you could do with the remaining power in defending yourself, despite the tears that were blocking your vision ,and the fear that radiated from your trembling body.

At the age of 16, Shuji had long time dropped school and you were dealing with your own struggles as you couldn't relay on him forever to solve your own problems. He also seemed to be so into fights that he barely spent times with you . You haven’t had a proper conversation with him for a long time and somehow, as teenagers, you grew apart even though none of you really tried to do something about it, letting fate does its job, just as it did this time.

You finally had a group of friends who accepted you. People who you could laugh with, trust and relay on each other. Yet, you tried to hide everything about your background so you could fit in somehow, despite the fact that sometimes you couldn't keep up with the other kids. Girls having crush on someone and sharing experiances when you didn't even know how you felt about Hanma that time. The trends, the fashion, the latest movies, the idols, the brands. You were so overwhelmed trying to fit in with someone and anyone, to the extent that you were so happy at this moment that you made your own friends and now you will hang out with them. For the first time in your life in a Kareoke. But here you were, running as fast as you could from 3 guys from your class, who were so close in taking an advantage of you when you were waiting your friends at a private room. You trusted them but they betrayed you. They laughed at you before they closed the door behind them leaving you there to be preyed on and telling you that no body would care about the orphans. They don't get protected by anyone. Your freinds told you that they can run away from this crime easily as long as you don't have parents asking for your rights. They are just young teens who made a simple mistake and they will be easily forgiven. They could just say 'soorry we didn't mean it', they could just say 'it is a just a small joke', and then they can move on with their life. They told you all of that and so you were totally devastated.

"Y/N?!"

He called your name in surprise. He just had his own fight with Mikey that he didn't win or lose but left him riled up nonetheless. The hair that was covering his eyes after the rain wasn't even helping you in seeing his eyes that were looking for you. Your hits shouldn't have hurt if it wasn't from the pain Mikey gave him 15 minutes ago.

"Y/N!!!!!"

He gently hold both of your hands despite how much you were trying to break out from him, and shouted your name few times for you to snap you back to reality, back to him too. Your breaths were so fast and so did your heart beat. Your lungs were burning and your heart was about to explode. But you saw him, recognized his voice, it’s no one but Shuji.

"What‘s wro......"

It took him few seconds to see your state and know what’s wrong by himself. You weren't the type of girls who would wear a skirt but here you were, a short one but with a bruise above your left knee. His eyes travelled upper and saw how you shirt had its first 3 buttons undone exposing your cleavage, and your bra's strips had fallen at both sides of your arms along with some bruises at your hand. When he finally took a better look at your face, he was in rage. There is a bruise, probably you were given a slap or two, the messy hair, the pain, the agony, the despair and lost.

"Names. All of them. I want all of their names"

You heard him very well but you couldn't utter a word. Names ? They were your friends, and classmates. They were people you wanted to love, to be happy with.

"GOD DAMN IT. IM TALKING Y/N!!!!!!!!!!"

He shouted and you shouted back with their names while breaking in cries and hiccups.

"Oi, the class bitch is here. I found her first so I will go first"

Your legs started to shake and your breath quickened again as you gripped his shirt as strong as you could, as if you were holding your life. And he could feel all of that which only added to his rage, yet he gave you a soft smile after he ruffled your hair. A gesture he has never did in a long time.

"Are the bruises all what happened?!"

You nodded

"Good. I will show you why I’m called Shinigami."

He turned to them, with his left hand fingers between his strand of hair, to show them and warn them about the 'punishment' he will soon give them.

" I don't like sad clowns but I don't like scared sad clowns even more. So I will kill each one of you for messing with my girl"

At that day, you were a witness of a Shingami who enjoyed beating 3 men to near death and you didn't want to know what could have happened to them if it wasn’t for your cries for Hanma to stop. It was also the day when Hanma indirectly confessed to you, on his own way, while fulfilling a death wish of people who dared to hurt you. You were absent for a week but until this day you don't know why every single student and teacher at your school started to treat you differently. Probably a Shinigami warning and nobody wanted to die at his hands.

·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·

(2008 || Past)

I'll be with you for a lifetime

I'll be by your side for a lifetime

So that we wouldn't

be separated for a lifetime,

So that the knot I tied hard with all my might

wouldn't come untied

I'll never let go of

these tightly intertwined hands

I'll never let go of it

"Is sad clown?!"

"Shuji ! You are 18 years old. Why would you still ask this question in this broken language of a 3 years old kid ?! And you are too close to my face"

You replied as you tried to push him away from you but he was on top of you at the bed of his apartment. You were literally trying to push a big rock at this point.

"That’s not the answer I want to hear"

He said in a serious tone so you turned your head away, to look at anything and everything but his eyes.

"When you avoid my eyes like that it means you want to keep it to yourself"

He said, so you bit down your lower lip. An unconscious habit of yours.

"And when you bite down you lip it means it’s something related to me. Spill it out. I can't afford making my clown sad by myself”

Does he have to know every single little thing about you ? Can't he just let you be you for the day ? He knows you as the palm of his hands at this point of your lives and you don't know if you like it or hate it anymore.

"I don't. Its all wrong. I’m not sad and it has nothing to do with you"

You tried even though you know you will fail.

"We can stay like this all night if you wanna keep saying these lies."

If course he will see through your lies so you quickly tried to push him again from you out of frustration but you quickly gave up. There was no point at all at, so you only tighten your grip at his white shirt, looking back at his eyes.

"Am I a burden?!"

You asked and he was speechless. Surprised even.

"Toman, Mebious, Valhalla. I can't name all of them but the gangs you are and were part of, and fought against , the things you've been doing and will be doing, the meetings, the plans and the fights. All of that. I barely know about anything. I ask and you barely answer. I know I can be a bomb and that will kill everyone if I was to be kidnap by rivals and so I .... I ... just ...."

You couldn't say anymore. You had many thoughts but these were the only ones that you could voice out for him, but he smiled. Not his usual smirk, grin or even the stupid or the devilish smile, but a rare and soft one as he pressed his right palm on your left cheek.

"Is that why the clown sad ?"

You nodded and that was almost like a 'Yes' for him to come closer to your face. You don't even remember since when him being this close will make your heart explode as you became flustered, but of all these feelings you had at that single moment, made you gripped his shirt tighter, closer, for that sense of comfort, for the sense of security too.

"I won't tell that much. As long as we are together, there is no way on this earth I can let you get involved in all dangerous sort of shit I’m doing and I will do, and this is not for the discussion, sad clown”

He said as his thumb was caressing your lower lip.

"You don't have to know anything about what I do. You only need to be with me for today, tomorrow and the future, so don't dare to think that you are a burden, kay ?!"

You nodded and he came closer to your face. Closer than any time in your life with a few centimeters away from your lips as the tip of his nose touched yours.

"I love you"

With that he gave you a passionate kiss. He took your first kiss, your heart, your loyalty, your love, and all of you since that day for once and ever.

·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·

(2018 || present)

On the first page of our story

The future seemed so bright.

Then this thing turned out so evil

I don't know why I'm still surprised.

Even angels have their wicked schemes

And you take that to new extremes.

But you'll always be my hero

Even though you've lost your mind.

You don't know for how long you have been staring at the reflection of your eyes at the mirror. The more you look at the darkness of it, the more you sink in it. Floods of memories are filling your empty head about the days when you were just a sad clown, and the days when Hanma took a turn on putting the same clown mask while telling you about his fears. His own days of being a sad clown weren't many for him. You can count them in one hand even. But you still remember them, with the all promises you have made to assure him. "You won't kill, and I always be with you". These living memories started to surround your heart too, little by little, trying to break it. Again, you tried to take deeper breaths, maybe if you exhaled them deeply, all of these memories will be out of your chest and be forgotten. But they aren't. No matter how many times you tried to calm your heart, that pain only grows stronger. That pain just crushes you alive while you were silently waiting for the time to pass by and heal you. But it never did. Time, forgiveness, promises, and him. Nothing can fix you. But still, your story needs another chapter, and you will write it soon.

·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·

To be continued

Part 3: soon.

Comments and feedbacks are appreciated.

·•·•·•·•·•·•·•·

I don't feel like this is as an actual part since its mostly flashbacks and memories but I wanted all the fluffy ideas to be written since the anime and Hanma are going into the dark phase with the next arcs and eps ☹. So dark phase for dark content. An early warning for who ever wants to continue reading this bullshit.

Thank you so much.

[ultimatedirk]

future hanma my beloved 

[wrong-melody]

Chatachter: Hanma Shuuji (Age: 18).

Pairing : Hanma X female Reader

Type : Angst, fluff? Probably towards the end

Warning: none

Words count: 1.9K

Song: Call a name - Luck Life

Chapters: Part 2 || Part 3 (soon)

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

"If I kill, would you leave me ?!"

It was one of Hanma's rare days when he is not acting as his usual energetic self looking for fun but lost into his thoughts.

He just finished his warm shower after being completely soaked by the rain before coming to your shared small apartment. Nothing is on but a boxer, and didn't even bother to put a towel on his head, leaving the water dripping from his hair as he sat on the edge of the bed.

His question caught you off guard and made you look into his reflection in the mirror as you stopped brushing your hair. You thought he wasn't in the mood after some fights when he arrived, but knowing him since your elementary school days, nothing good is in his head when he is quite like that. An energetic kid turning into a quiet kid means something is wrong with them, and Hanma was just as simple as that.

"I mean, I know even if I don't kill, you still can leave me anytime for any reason but .."

He stopped as his thoughts weren't even clear for him to voice them out yet. His orange eyes stared at the nothing, but you can see darkness slowly replacing the light that was fading from his eyes.

"We've known each other for 10 years right? you already know what I am capable of doing but you .. and you .. you are just ... "

Again, he was lost .. so lost. He was barely voicing one idea at a time before going back into a deep silence in his own world. The strong thunder sound wasn't helping either as Hanma didn't need any loudness beside the unclear sound of his thoughts.

You turned around to see the real Hanma as you slowly started walking toward him after you grabbed a towel from the closet.

If there's a version of me

that exists within your heart,

Then even amid the darkness

on this long, hilly road,

I feel I can become a new me,

Able to make my way through!

"You are just too clean. Too pure even for this world and I .. a person like me is never enough ..  I don't even dare to think i am enough for you or anyone in the first place. I can change gangs whenever I want, they can kick me out whenever they want. I am replaceable . You can replace me too. It's expected. It is the logic I live based on, so I have never been angry when these things happne and I ...no, but you ... "

This time he stopped not because he was lost again in his thoughts, and nor because of the strong wind that was screaming to break your window, but because he could see your legs within his vision as you stood before him.

You put the towel on his head and moved your right palm to his left cheek and that took him one second before he melted into your gentle touch and gently holding your hand back by his own. The fact that he can't keep his hands off you also means he is also touch starved. And at this moment, he looked like he would hold your hand forever, with no intention of letting it go, as if it's going to refill his empty soul that was with him for his entire life with something, something that he didn't even know but something that he believed it would be enough to keep him to be himself.

"How long are you going to be with me ? Would you even give me a chance to say my goodbye to you ?"

"Shu"

You tried to intrrupt him, to call him, to save him from the darkness he was sinking into.

"If we sleep now, would I wake up tomorrow with you beside me ?"

"Shuji"

You called his name again hoping that your voice would be louder than any thought in his head.

"As if I am the actual definition of impurity, I am only staining your soul .. acting like all i care about is fun , and saying honest words like 'I love you' , but without telling you how much I hate you at the same time."

It hurt. That tingling sensation in your chest, it hurt so bad upon hearing these words but even though you tried again.

"Shuuji!!!"

"This impurity inside of me has always been there. It is also me. Part of me. I don't hate myself so I've never hated it before. But now, the more I love you, the more I hate that part, the more I hate me too"

Pain was growing stronger with every beat your heart did and with every breath you took. You wanted him to stop saying these words with a broken smile and a hopeless voice.

Taking in a deep breath,

I drink it down, then release it to the sky.

Am I allowed to believe

That everyone can find happiness?

Even me?

"Now, every time I hate it, I remember this hate is because of your purity, so I hate you too. I want my impurity to be stronger than your pureness. At least by so, your purity wouldn't have an affect, and my impurity wouldn't feel loneliness, wouldn't want to disappear, wouldn't want to be something or anything but impurity"

You aren't sure if what he was saying was making sense even to himself but this time you put your other palm on his other cheek. Holding his face with both hands, making it easier for you to move his head up, at least to guide his eyes from looking down into your feet, to look into your eyes.

"It's like I am the 'Sin' itself and you are my 'Punishment'. At this po..."

"Hanma shuuji !!!!"

It is his name. Not Zombie or Shinigami, but Hanma Shuji. And you loudly shouted that name while searching for his soul that was hiding in the darkness behind his eyes.

He blinked a few times as he finally recognised your voice among the million voices of his million thoughts. That voice has changed the broken smile into a soft one, getting him back into your reality as he is also looking back into your soul, silently asking it to forever keep looking for his soul, no matter where it hides but to always find it.

"I guess no one would notice if I were gone,"

I whispered, as I looked up to the sky, alone.

Then amid the wind, I heard,

From somewhere far off:

My name,

A gift that allowed me to remain who I am.

"Wow. Long time since I heard that name. Yes sensei ?!"

He said in his usual playful tone, and that put your aching heart at ease, at least by knowing that he was completely with you in the same world, even though the pain from his previous words was still there.

"I'm nothing like you've said. I am not pure at all.  I become my own devil a lot of times and you have seen it all"

You were trying to reason with him and with everything he said.

"I don't believe in such a thing too. I am not pure and you aren't the opposite. You can hate me for that if you believe it but I will always love you regardless"

Did his smile get smaller? Is it almost fading now? Yes it is and you were scared. He didn't give you any reaction to what you said and that made your heart ache once again

"I wouldn't give you a chance to say me a goodbye. I wouldn't leave so your goodbyes have to be if you wanted to leave. And I .... "

He intrrupted you after he firmly grabbed you by your left arm and pulled you down to lay on the bed after he did so.

"I know all of that. You don't need to say anything anymore"

He said after he pulled you closer to his chest, so you were able to listen to his fast beating heart.

"No. I will say it a million times until the heart of your beats normally. If we sleep now, I will be by your side. I wouldn't go anywhere and if I...."

"Not even to the toilet ? So you will hold it until you do it on the bed ?!"

"Yes I will hold it until I do it on the bed. And I don't like your logic. No one can replace you. I don't know about the gangs but for me, if it's not Hanma Shuji then I want nobody. You aren't replaceable."

Damn Hanma for ruining the mood like that with your playfulness. But you went along.

He didn't reply .. but you didn't need it to know that he became calmer than a few minutes ago just by listening to his steady heartbeats. A comfort silnce had taken a place between you two until it was broken by him

"Well, I guess there is only one clown on earth that can stick to me forever"

"I am serious"

You said half angry after you looked at him, not really in the mood.

"I am serious too. When I told you those thoughts, they weren't questions about your honesty, I was just kind of questioning myself in a way but I guess I ended up hurting you in another way too"

He kissed between your eyebrows and tightly hugged you again.

"Hearing my name from you hits differently. If I'm allowed to act like Hanma Shuuji .. then these thoughts don't matter anymore. I am sorry doll for saying that I hate you"

Another kiss was placed on the same place, but upon hearing his appoligy you bit your lower lip trying to prison the tears that were threatening you to escape.

"I can handle these words. You don't have to apologise for hating me but saying it while you are hurt makes me hurt even more. so at least if you, even if one day you truly hate me at least don't say them while you are hurt. So I can believe them that way. So, ..."

"So I am sorry. I didn't mean them. So no more sad clowns. No more of a clown hurting another clown, hmm?"

He was quick to wipe your tears away with his fingers after you failed in prisioning them.

"I'm not clown tho"

He chuckled at your pouting replay.

"That's not for the discussion my doll. My dictionary says you are the perfect definition of a clown"

"I AM NOT"

His smile didn't fade this time but his eyelids were heavy and you could see him fighting them as he played a little bit with your small fingers before he intertwined them with his. You know he will drift to sleep soon and sleeping this way for him meant that a weight from his chest finally disappeered.

"And for your first question, you won't kill and I will always be with you"

These were your last words to him that day, and were the last thing he heard before he slept with a faint smile on his calmed face. They weren't false assurance, you meant them, you meant every letter of these words, you promised him.

Whenever you're darkened by sadness

and your tears overflow,

Whenever your heart floods with loneliness

and begins to waste away,

I'll call out a name, your name,

So that you can remain who you are.

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Part 2 : Soon

Feedbacks are appreciated 🖤🧡💛.

Mero.

[wrong-melody]

Playing with fire

Character: Hanma Shuji (present age:28)

Pairing: Hanma X Female Reader

Word count: 2.3K

Type: NSFW. MINORS DNI

Trigger warnings: cursing, light pain/sensation play with cigarette (safe), sensitive +shy reader, multiple orgasms, ahegao face, cockwarming, degradation, shamless Hanma having fun teasing, use of words whore/slut, dirty talk, bad English.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

"Oh god its so good"

"Oh god its so bad"

You wanted to replay back about how Hanma is wrong but you couldn't say a word as you kept moving your hip up and down along his shaft, trying to reach your climax while your breasts were bouncing back and forth creating a nice view for your boyfriend.

"With this slow pace, there is no way it can feel good, at least for me, doll."

Hanma said while he is taking a breath from the almost dying cigaratte between his fingers and exhaled its smoke on your face with a smug smile.

"Not even taking it all and you are already enjoying yourself. Does your pussy get weak after 5 days with no sex? I can't believe half way is all you could do now. How pathetic!!!"

Yes. It has been 5 days since he arranged your insides in a pleasant way. He has been busy working till night in the office and you had night shifts for the entire week. Your body and soul miss him so much. You couldn't wait to comeback home early just to find him relaxing on the sofa with his neck tie loosed and the first 3 buttons opened exposing his muscular muscle and collarbone. He had both legs corssed over the table beside the empty ashtray which indicated that he just arrived. Too handsome and too hot, and just seeing him in that state made both your heart and pussy beat for him. He couldn't welcome you back before you jumpped on him after taking all of your clothes off to show him how much you have truly missed him despite the fact that he is still fully clothed. You couldn't care less as you wanted to give him a show too.

Yet, you really wanted to throw some facts at his face. A damn 196 cm tall man is huge in all levels but all you could respond with was "its b-big" as you starting to feel your climax building up.

Your twitching cunt didn't go unfelt by him as your melodic moans are getting higher.

"Wait for me doll. Hold it and i will make it feel even better okay?"

He said while eyeing all the juice that is dripping on his dick which made him take on a last breath from his cigerette. Wrapping your arms around his neck while trying so hard to not move your hip for the sake of your pleasure and for the (even better) part, so you demanded while panting

"Please ... I ... now ... hurry "

He chuckled at your messy state as you kept placing kisses on his neck trying to distract yourself and Hanma wasted no time in throwing away his dying cigarette at the ashtray but he stretched his right arm forgetting how your tits are dangling closer than usual, which caused him to underestimate his distance.

The burning tip of the ciggrate touched your left nipple as the sudden pain from the burning sensation was enough to let you lose all of your strength on your lower body, letting your hip to go all the way down, fully taking his dick in one quick and sudden movement, feeling his tip kissing your cervix- no your stomach, as the gravity didn't show any mercy from pulling you down, which made you arch your back screaming in pleasure and pain at the same time as your creamy fluid over-flows all over him.

"Y/N are you alri..... "

Hanma was afraid your were hurt because of his stupid mistake but for his relief, and entertainment, you have the most slutties expression you have ever shown him as your eyes were rolled back and drooling in extreme pleasure which caused him to proudly smile.

"Doll, you didn't tell me you have pain kink?! If I knew you would make a such a whore face I would have done it intentionally"

He traced your saliva from your right cheek with his middle finger giving you the time to reply back after you took enough breath to talk

"I don't .. you idiot that was .."

He cut you off in joy

"Insanely beautiful!! Just look at the pool you created on my pants. Damn that should have been recorded"

If the lust that was shining from his eyes wasn't enough for you as a prove of how turned on he was with that idea, then surly his rock dick inside of you is. You didn't even know yourself if you had such a kink but for a second your mind was empty.

"I'm sure I took your virginity myself but my beutiful slut is still like a tight virgin who cum just from having her weak cunt full, I guess I didn't do good job on your firat night"

You heard well and so his comment causes you to replay in emaressment

"No idiot. It was painful. My nipple still hurt"

Hanma hummed understandanding and then quickly stretched his left arm taking a quick sip from his bear bottle from the table behind you.

"I will make it up for you"

He did not give you the time to predict his next step because he was quick to sooth your left nipple with his cold tounge which made you arch your back again because of your sensitivity. He hold you tightly with his hand as the other was still fidgeting with the dead cigarette. But you didn't even realize that since the overwhelming sensation from his sucking is enough to let your pussy twitch again. He gave you one last suck before he pull away with a lewd sound.

"Well, im sure you know I can feel your little needy pussy itching for me 10 times more than your previous orgasmn"

Yes you know he knows. You know damn well Hanm can read your desiers from your inside too. You breaths started to quick while he looked into your eyes

"I'm expecting an honest answer. Do you have a pain kink?"

You couldnt help but to hide your emaressmemt a little bit as you bite your lower lip out of frustration.

"I don't know. It just .. it was sudden and i couldn't hold it and your thing was ... was ..."

You averted your eyes away from his in shyness

"Big. So big. .. so the sensation was overwhelming. It did hurt but not that hurt tho .. so I ... I ..."

You don't have anything more to say but he gives you his devilish smile and you could feel cold running through your body so you quickly looked at him again denying  "No Shuji!!! Leave my other nipple alone" , while you are covering both your breasts with your hands

"Who said anything about them? I know a better place doll"

It was one second when your mind was trying to figure out the bette place he meant before your felt a warming and stinging sensation on your clit .. a sensation that you have never felt in your life and took your soul to heaven.

He hold you tight before you fall off him as your back aching from extreme pleasure, creating another mess as you reached your second orgasm while screaming - or crusing- his name.

You were so lost in your own heaven to notice him licking your slaiva again leaving his marks along your neck, moving his hips in a slow pace

"Fuck. I don't think i have been turned on like this before"

True to his words, you could feel his dick getting bigger and bigger by the secound, streatching your cannel and making you moan in anticipation.

"Answere. Do you have a pain kink?"

You could hear him though and very well too. But you couldn't utter a word between your moans as his thrust started to become more rough. You know he is getting impatient and his demanding tone was a prove.

" please Shuji wait . I'm ver ..."

You tried to reason with him that you are so senitive and you need to recover to think straight but he intrupted you

"No"

"I can't ... I ... "

He gave you a big thrust to shut you up and surely it did. Moaning loadly was the only melody he wanted to listen while you are closing your eyes.

"Im happy it took few seconds for your second previous orgasm but doll...."

You felt his hand playing with your sensitive clit trying to sooth you-or turture you, which made you cry once again from the overwhelming sensation.

You quickly hold his wrist to stop him from going hard on your little sensitive bud, barely having the power to say "I'll die .. stop"

You didn't need your eyes opened to see that smile on his face. You know its gonna be there when you know that sentence will just boost his ego.

"you can't die from sex Y/N, but i'll be happy if I make a history for the world by how well I do it"

He gave you a deep kiss while his thrust getting deeper, but he let you break from the kiss and lays your head on his shoulder as your buried your face on his neck.

"Dolll, you are so sensitive and i have been having my juice building up for 5 days.. do you know what does that mean ?"

You felt him sucking on your earlobe before he said

"I can go all night but with you being this damn sensitive I wanna be a good boyfriend"

He suddenly stopped his thrusts and and quit playing with your needy clit so you uncontrollably started to move your hips for that gone sensation. A playful smile on his face when he said

"Lets make a deal. If you cum first, I we will go until you become the first women on earth to die coz of sex. If I cum first, we will stop when you say we need to stop, okay ?"

You know you will lose. He always makes these bets and he always wins. But for your surprise, it only took one nod from you as an agreement before he lifts you in one second letting you lay down over the table as the cold surface hits your naked back, making you shiver while your other senses barely working with his sudden brutal thrusts.

With your sloppy cunt and juices from before, him pushing inside and out of you created a lewd sound which added to the mix of your moans and his groans.

"Shu ~~~~ slower.. ple... "

"Cum for me Y/N and show me your whore face again"

You secreamed in protest "NO"

You know he has patience but for sure not enough to play along with your stubbornness when he obviously is demanding, and he made that clear with even more brutal thrusts after he hold both your legs wide open on his shoulder for better access.

You swear he is breaking you in half in that position. another few minutes before you let your fluid flows again over him and he followed you not long after, exploding his, building up for days, cum inside of you, and of curse while you are having the whore face he wanted to see, silently screaming with your mouth wide open drooling for him.

He hold your hair to move your head back to look straight into your soul with his piercing orange eyes, taking a moment for you both to catch breaths before he said after a quick kiss on your lips

"Y/N , you did well for the first round.. now lets get some facts right"

You really wanted to yall at him. That's not a first round for you if you have your 3rd orgasm. But he didn't wait for your replay as you are still catching your breath.

"Its not even a pain kink as my cigarette were even cooling off. You are just damn sensitive. I guess sensation kink is more accurate for you but im willing to try a real cigerette and widen your limited experience if you want to"

You couldn't say anything as your fast beating heart from the previous pleasure hasn't calmed yet, but you saw him taking another ciggerate from the pack.

"No answer means YES, y/n"

It took all of your left power to desperetly hold his hand from lightening his cigarette.

"NO!!!"

He gave you a smirk, having fun playing these kind of games with you.

"So it is yes. I told you NO answer is Yes. I got it doll. I will take few breath and then we can sta ... "

You whine again but this time from frustration

"Shuuji!!!!"

He chuckled and smiled softly at you, as soft as it can be with his devilish eyes

"Kidding doll. I will give your little weak cunt a 5 minute break but not your mouth. You know how to use it right ?!"

Finally he pulled his dick out, sitting on the sofa again. At this point you don't even know how long he has been inside of you but if you could be honest, which you couldn't since you don't have the energy to hear his endless teasing, you really want to stay on him to feel him longer.

"Damn!! Look at your pussy. Gushing our juices after it was mixed inside. Definitly is gonna be recorded next time"

He said after taking a deep breath from his cigrette.

You don't even know if he is serious or not considering how shameless he can be, but you only smiled while looking at his hardening member that is still coating in your and his cum. You aren't surprised as one round with Hanma was never enough to relieve him. And seeing his semi hard dick picking from the middle of the mess you created on his formal suit pant while he is smoking makes you aroused.

"Doll, if you don't want this cigertte to touch somewhere else, you better start drinking the cocaktil on my dick"

He said after completely relaxing on the sofa, taking a deep breath from his cigarette, opening his both legs for you.

"Oh! Dont forget to give me a taste at the end with a nice kiss"

Damn this shameless man and damn you for being this needy slut for him.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Mero 🖤 feedbacks are appreciated

[wrong-melody]

Lemme introduce you to Hanma Shuji 's actor from Tokyo Revengers' live action, Shimizu Hiroya 😍😍🖤🖤.

I don't care if you look down at Japanese live actions but OBVIOUSLY you must watch this movie 🖤😍.

My man looks fine even as a real human 😍

HANMA SUPREMACY 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[wrong-melody]

A bored Zombie and a Jealous Doll

Character: Hanma Shuji (present age: 28)

Word count: 900 words

Pronoun: female reader (she/her)

Type: fluff, jealous reader, suggestive at the end

Warning: nothing, Hanma being Hanma

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A friday night means you can have fun with your friends doing all the plans you agreed on from last week. But here you are laying down on your bed with your beloved boyfriend tightly hugging you from behind. Or at least as he thinks. Tightly hugging you.

"Doll help me. I'm bored. I survived many injuries but I dont think I can survive this boredom anymore"

Hanma asked for help in a serious tone as if he is really dying from boredom. This man can't stand this feeling and will annoy the hell out of you to entertain himself. Yet, you aren't in the mood for bored Hanma right now.

"You decided to comeback home early after work when you could have fun with the other guys and comeback tomorrow. Of course you will be bored with me."

For some reasons he wasn't sure why he felt like you sounded angry. Is it because he usually doesn't spend friday nights with you ? Or because he is trapping you between his long limps and literally preventing you from going anywhere, not even with your girlfreinds and making you cancel all your plans with them ? He gotta find out.

"They are no fun but you are an exception"

He said while rubbing circles on your stmach, trying to sooth your hiden and bulding up anger.

"I am no fun too if you barely spend these nights with me, right?"

His circling motions with his big hand stopped upon hearing your replay. You are definitly angry and he doesn't like it.

"There is an explaination"

"They were mostly gangs meetings. You ended up drinking and lost track of time. Thats why you aren't home until saturday morning. I know all of that."

How can he replay to that ? He has been telling you the same excuse for a long time but he can't tell you the exact truth, can he ?

"I already know the truth too, idiot"

Well, that was a little bit suprising considering how much he tried to hide many details related to gang stuff from you. But there is nothing can be done as these things get to be known in a matter of time.

"I didn't lie though"

Just because he didn't tell you the complete truth that doesn't mean he lied about what he says every week and everytime. You moved his hand away from you to free yourself from his 'trap hug' and properly sat down starring at the bedsheet , and he followed you to sit as well as he can sense the seriousness surrdounding you, waiting for the truth you said you know.

"I can't be as fun as those girls in the club. There is no way I can be in the same level as them and I .... "

His laugh intrupted you. Is he having fun seeing you jealous like this ?! You finally looked at him to throw some fists but he was quick to hold your hands gentally while he is still laughing.

Out of frustration, you tried to even hit him with your head but due to your height difference, your head perefectly land into his chest and he didn't waste a second from hugging you again.

"You are Hanma's girl. Of course you aren't in the same level as some club whores"

You really weren't in the mode for his sweet talk so you tried to get away from him but obviously there is no escape from an embrace from a giant human like him.

"Sorry doll, but thats not the truth."

He finally let you go from his hug to look into your eyes

"I don wanna say much but they are literally gang staff, you already should have an idea about what I mean"

Yes you know but ...

"So you better to not think of stupid shit like that again. 'kay doll ?!"

You couldn't help but to bite down your lower lip despite his serious and honest answer.

"No. Its not okay at all. You still have meetings at the clubs and can see these girls who will make a show. Dont usually men enjoy these kind of things too ?"

You said in frustration but somehow you regret your last sentence after you saw his smirk.

"Well if that's the problem then I can bring the whole damn club here if it will make you feel better"

Being with Hanma means at least being flustered once a day and this is just the start.

"Those girls are half clothed but you can do it naked and give me a better show. I will be all yours for the rest of the night and you can entertain me with a special performance"

You couldn't replay as blood rushed to your face turning you red and that for sure didn't go unnoticed by Hanma who gentlly hold both your cheeks between his hand sqeezing your face.

"I will redesgin the room and add a pole .. where do you want it ?"

You didn't mean it but it was a spontaneous  reaction from your embaressment as you tried to hit me again on his chest, and he let you take your frustration out as he laughs. You couldn't really help but to smile at his melodic laugh, at least he doesnt seem dying from boredom anymore and somehow you felt better that he would rather have a special show from you than a bored show at the club.

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Mero 🖤 Feedbacks are appreciated.