You Make Me Strong

we're only getting older, baby Holden +

[wtholden]

fckenna:

His fingertips brought forth goosebumps upon her smooth skin, the heat from his touching sending chills down to her toes. She returned his kisses with fervour, breaking away only for a moment to help rid of her shirt, before her lips we’re kissing up his neck, to his jaw and back to his lips. It was almost as if they’d never parted from each other, still moving as seamlessly together as they had when they were together. Holden had long been painted in her memory.

Holden’s hands had perfect recollection of Kenna’s body, gliding along her curves effortlessly. Being with her felt natural. He had missed this; he had missed her. Hand tangling in her hair, he lay back on the bed. From his place below her, he gazed at her and shook his head ever so slightly. “Damn,” he murmured before pulling her back on top of him, lips grazing over her shoulder on his way to her lips.

[wtholden]

fckenna:

Kenna shut the door behind him, quick to turn the lock before walking backwards and leading him towards the bed.  ❝I never thought…❞ she started, letting go of his hand so that she could use it to cup his face,  ❝I didn’t think…❞ She struggled to find the words she wanted to say, her other hand grasping at his shirt a bit more firmly.  ❝Is this real?❞

His breath caught as they reached the edge of her bed, and he leaned into her touch as if he would never feel it again.  ❝If it isn’t, please don’t wake me up,❞ he whispered, connecting his lips with hers again. He turned and sat on the bed, pulling her onto his lap as his hands slid under her shirt.

[wtholden]

fckenna:

An unexpected flurry of butterflies took flight at his warm laugh echoing through the amphitheater, and though she ignored them, they multiplied as soon as the dedication hit the speakers. Her smile brightened and her heart beat quickened at the sound of her name, her anticipation growing as he strummed at his guitar and the song he was playing filtered out into crowd. Was it new? The words came and she couldn’t seem place them with anything he’d shown her. But it was as the words went on that Kenna’s smile slowly fell. Her mind was clouded with a bunch of scattered thoughts. It was dedicated to her, but why? We’re just two ghosts swimming in the place of you and me? Why did it sound so…sad? Keeping her head down in an effort not to be recognized, Kenna pushed through the crowd and flashed a badge at the venue’s security once the set was over so that she could get backstage ( thanks to Holden’s father who had made sure to leave it for her at will call ). It wasn’t until she spotted the older man backstage that her smile grew once more, greeting him with a smile and a hug. “Does he have any idea?”

Holden left the stage in a world all his own, completely high off his performance. He had gone against the advice to end on a more upbeat song, choosing a newer but less... lively one instead. Two Ghosts had so many meanings, differing depending on the circumstances, but after going so long without any contact with Kenna, his main focus was how different his life and his friendship with her was. Sure, some things would always stay the same, but so many others were caught in some sort of limbo. His best friend had always had a way of bringing out the life in him no matter what, even in the dizzying world of fame he was branching into. Now between touring, her dating life, and his dating life, the balance was failing. Grinning and congratulating the band playing with him, he made his way backstage. “Kenna?” He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. “Kenna!” His grin sprang to life, his steps following suit as he made his way to her.

[somepiecesofmyheartandsoul-deac]

“I used to think that love was a feeling,” he tells her, “but no, that’s not how it really is.” “What is it then?” She asks. “A choice,” he replies, “Love is a choice, a choice to put in your effort. Love is always a conscious commitment, not a sleepy confession during the night only to be taken for granted when the sun starts to shine the next day. It is a choice to help each other to grow, to be stronger.” “Love is definitely not a drunk confession at 3AM, only to forget about it when you’re sober. Love is a choice to be with your special one through thick and thin, it’s no child’s play at all. Love is a choice to stay and never give up when things are tough. Love is a choice on both sides to get things to work, to find out what’s wrong, and to fix it.” “So…” she says quietly, “…what’s your choice?” A pause. A look. A smile. “You.”

L.W. // Forgotten Words #74 // Love is a choice and my choice is you. Always. (via somepiecesofmyheartandsoul)

[wtholden]

fckenna:

Drunk off his kisses, Kenna merely mewled as he marked what was once all his, rational thoughts fleeing in order to make room for him and only him before her god awful conscience could get in the way. ❝Probably not,❞ she conceded, her eyes meeting his with a playful twinkle in her eye,  ❝It’d be hard not to miss me.❞ Her voice was low as she tried to catch her breath, her hand daringly playing with the seam of his shirt before decidedly taking his hand within hers,  ❝Come with me,❞ she told him, mindlessly leading her towards her bedroom.

Holden laughed out loud. How could he have forgotten how she could make him laugh with her words of confidence and teasing.  ❝It is. It’s incredibly hard not to miss you,❞ he told her, playing into her ego. He placed another kiss to her neck, this one closer to her collarbone, as his chest rose and fell to match her own. Ears perking at her next words, he lifted his head and followed after her in a daze.

[hestylesk]

Visit Original Link

Harry Styles - Two Ghosts Live on iHeart Radio

[fckenna]

@wtholden

After months away, t was all meant to be a surprise as she stood hidden within the crowd — a single face in a sea of singing and swaying fans there to watch the concert headliner completely command his stage. Holden Bradshaw, the lights read. A true, bonafide rock star if Kenna had ever seen one and her best friend. It was when she got to do this…when she got to see him up there living his dream that she understood. It was why missing him and learning to share him with the world was worth it. After all, it was she who really knew the Philly Boy beneath all the designer clothes  — not them. Or so she thought.

[wtholden]

Holden Bradshaw. Nothing fancy, but there was a ring to it. There must have been because so many people shouted it out, wrote it on poster boards, and now it was his name that was shining in lights. Living the dream, as they say, and his face was sure to show it. If his smile grew any wider, his face might split. He stood there in front of the crowd and gripped the microphone in his left hand, right hand secured on his guitar. “Thank you. I am so blessed to be here tonight, and I--” He laughed upon hearing one particular interruption. “I love you, too. I just want to take a second to dedicate this last song to someone very close to my heart. She’s my best friend, and I can’t imagine doing this without her. I wish you could be here, Kenna. Thanks again for coming out everyone.” Hooking the microphone back on the stand, he closed his eyes and started playing his final song.

[fckenna]

❝Holden,❞ she repeated, the gasp falling from her lips being muffled as they brushed against his shoulder.  ❝Christ,❞ she breathed out, her fingertips dragging against his scalp before gripping lightly at the ends of his hair. She was so weak. So caught up in him that her resolve was practically non-existant.  Especially now. Especially like this. She pulled his head back with her tangled fingers, lusting hazel eyes meeting his own green ones.  ❝I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much.❞

[wtholden]

It was the moment she said his name again, with more emphasis, that Holden began to mark her. He hadn’t originally planned on leaving behind any evidence of his presence--not that he had planned on any of this--but he couldn’t help himself. She was his. Before he could do anything significant, she was pulling him back to look at him, and he saw the same look in her eyes that he had in his.  ❝Not nearly as much as I’ve missed you, I bet,❞ he countered. She never could resist a challenge, from what he remembered. Neither of them could.

[fckenna]

It had been years since Kenna had felt his hands on her like this and and she couldn’t get enough. She craved his touch, so foreign, yet every bit familiar. How had she ever gone so long without it, let alone him? Had Levi ever made her feel like this? Levi. Shit. Breaking from the heated kiss in a sudden search for air, Kenna’s head fell back against the shelf of books, her fingertips sliding against his jaw as his name breathlessly parted from her lips.

[wtholden]

His lips moved to trail over her neck automatically when she broke away. The way his name fell from her lips sent chills racing down his spine, and he hummed as his tongue graced her skin just above her collarbone. He was sure he had goosebumps covering his body, never having a chance to fade before another of her touches brought them back.

[fckenna]

The kiss was electric. The shock it sent through her intense and quivering as her body brushed up against his own, needing to feel more of him and they molded together like two perfectly fitted pieces of a puzzle. She’d missed him more than she had ever realized. His lips, his touch, his warmth, his love — all of it. Holden had always made her feel so alive and this kiss…it was like some portion of life itself had been returned and restored to her. There would be consequences and repercussions, sure, but those thoughts were too far from her mind. The only thing on her mind now was Holden, the boy that still held an overwhelmingly large part of heart. Her fingertips grasped at the front of his shirt as she grew hungrier for the taste that only his lips allowed her, slowly guiding him forward until her back all but collided with her bookshelf. 

[wtholden]

Holden followed Kenna with absolutely no resistance. He would go to the end of the world with her if they could be together even one more time. With her back pressed to the bookshelf and his body flush against hers, his once slow kisses grew faster and more ravenous than ever. Breathing was far from the top of his priorities, and he took quick intakes of air every so often so he wouldn’t have to be separated from her for long. He deepened the kiss and allowed his hands to dip down to her hips before one of them slid around towards her back pocket. He wanted her closer. No, he needed it. Despite their proximity, he felt like they were still so far apart.

[ithinkimightveinhaledyou]

leyton appreciation week • day six - favourite angsty moment 6x17 - You and Me and the Bottle Makes Three Tonight

[fckenna]

Her breath caught in her throat as he stepped forward, her heart quickening as soon as he brushed at her cheeks, forcing her to realize that she’d been crying, despite doing her best not to. His touch burned, but she didn’t pull away. Not that she could with the way his free hand had entangled itself in her hair before sliding past to cup her neck in such a way that she could look nowhere but at him. It was hard to be angry with her eyes locked on his, his promise stirring at the butterflies in her stomach once again. His voice was almost firm and ripped with such sincerity that Kenna couldn’t help but get lost in his gaze, her anger slowly dissipating. And then…Kenna’s heart was beating so erratically in her chest, she thought it might leap out at any moment. Three words and three syllables, had she heard him right? His look told him she had, and though later she’d feel sorry for Lena, her roommate was hardly on her mind. Caught up in his confession and every single one her emotions, Kenna leaned forward and quickly captured his lips before she could even think about what the consequences of such an action might be. All she knew was that she needed to feel his lips on hers about as much she needed to breathe, if not more. And suddenly, nothing else mattered.

[wtholden]

The moment her lips met his, a weight was lifted from him. She didn’t need to say anything for him to know that she felt the same way, that she wanted and missed him as much as he wanted and missed her. He wasn’t sure what would happen when they came down from this high, back to reality, but he did not care even the slightest. Kissing Kenna was better than he remembered. Maybe it was because of the height of their emotions and his confession, but maybe it was also because he had spent so long without her kisses that he’d started to forget what it felt like at all. He never wanted to forget again, and in case this turned out to be his last chance--if she decided after that she did not want him back after all--he wanted to make the most of this time and savor every last second. His lips moved against hers slowly but with a passion he could not hold back if he wanted.

[written-in-pen]

He missed me and I missed him but no matter how hard we tried, things couldn’t be that simple.

E. Grin (via figs3)

[fckenna]

Kenna’s fists balled at her sides, her anger seeping into every crevice of her body and tearing her apart at the seams. Maybe it didn’t seem out of the blue for him, but it was for her. She had just finished patching up her old wounds again and there he was ripping them open. His words, no matter how long she’d been waiting for them, pained her. ❝You don’t get it. I just got back to normal, Holden!❞ she told him, her voice stained and cracking with emotion. ❝After that night I came to your apartment, I knew things had changed. And I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t because you were gone. Again. Do have any idea what that was like? To see every fucking picture of you and her together in Tahiti when I was I here pretending not to fall apart. And then you were back and Lena was giddy as ever and god…I  just knew she was spending nights at your place, tainting every last memory I had of being there only a few weeks before. So I got over it. I had to. It wasn’t fair to Levi and it wasn’t fair to me. I had to tell myself that if you had felt any different…maybe you wouldn’t have gone on that vacation with her, maybe you wouldn’t have been avoiding me, and maybe it wouldn’t have taken you over two fucking months to tell me everything you are now. Just when I’ve finally gotten back to how everything was before I saw you in my kitchen that day. So you know what? Excuse me for thinking that everything you’re telling me only seem like empty words,❞  she finished, finally taking a breath as tears fell slowly upon her cheeks, all to her obliviousness. As much as she wanted to believe Holden and as much as she did deep down, she was hurting. Deeply so, and love didn’t make this any easier.

[wtholden]

Holden could not fight her, letting her words stab through his heart one by one. He had never thought about how his actions would affect her. He hadn’t considered that things could have been different if he stayed, if he had let her come to him like he’d wanted her to when they first broke up. She was right. Every word she said hit him with the hard truth, and he had to ask himself if his words were empty. No. Of course they weren’t. He meant every word he said, and he would stay and prove it to her this time.  ❝I’m so sorry,❞ he whispered, stepping forward so he could brush away the falling tears from her face. What else could he possibly say? Nothing would excuse his behavior. His fingers weaved into her hair as he slid his right hand to the back of her neck. If he moved three inches, he could kiss her. He could forget they were both with other people and hope that she would understand just how much he missed and loved her. But he did not lean forward. He did not kiss her. Knowing everything he did about Kenna’s past, Holden restrained himself because cheating would never be okay, not even when they belonged together. He couldn’t do that to her.  ❝I won’t leave again,❞ he promised.  ❝I’ll be here. I’ll be wherever you want me to be because I--❞ The realization had been there, and he’d known of its presence for a while now, but there was a big difference between admitting it to himself and admitting it out loud.  ❝Because I don’t love her. I love you.❞ He expected her to push him away, and he waited for it. His words would be welcomed or they would make her even angrier. He wasn’t sure if there was an in between. 

[fckenna]

❝Fuck you,❞ she gritted, shaking her head with a look of disbelief before shoving past him. She didn’t get very far, though, before turning back around to face him, eyes angrier than ever.  ❝Who do you think you are?❞ she spat, continuing to push around the butterflies in her stomach, completely ignoring their presence. ❝You disappear for months and you show up out of the blue to tell me that you miss me? Bullshit.❞ 

[wtholden]

Holden scoffed.  ❝Oh, that’s rich,❞ he shot back at her, turning to face her again. He should have known that they would argue no matter what.  ❝Out of the blue? You told me to go, Kenna! You wouldn’t listen to me, and I couldn’t-- I wasn’t going to force you to stay with me, so I just let you go, figuring you would come back to me, and when you didn’t...❞ He stopped before his voice could betray him, before she could see how devastated he had been to lose her.  ❝I didn’t go a day without missing you. Then I met Lena, and it helped a little. I started moving on, you know? But you were still there. You’re always there. And then I see you again, and it just--❞ His fingers tugged at the roots of his hair, eyes squeezing shut.  ❝God, it just came rushing back. I was a fool to ever think I would love anyone like I loved you.❞ Like I love you still.  ❝But you’re with him, and you say you’re happy, and of course I don’t want to ruin that for you. I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy. It just kills me to know that it isn’t with me, so I tried to step back again. I tried, I swear. I was going to leave you alone and let you move on, but I can’t. I see you everywhere, and you’re always on my mind. Fuck, you’re even in my dreams. I can’t--❞ Looking at her, he shook his head to try and clear all of the jumbled thoughts swimming through his mind. He wasn’t even sure what he was saying anymore.  ❝I had to see you again.❞

[fckenna]

❝Don’t,❞ she told him, wanting to wipe that smug smirk right off of his face. Levi was a good guy. Sure, deep down she’d always known something was missing in their relationship but he treated her right and life with him was content.  And she knew  he’d only said as much because he planned on leaving, not understanding her ‘no” was more than just because of their argument, though, she didn’t feel like she needed to explain that to Holden. It wasn’t any of his business, she reasoned. ❝Three seconds with us doesn’t suddenly make you some expert on my relationship. You know nothing about him or us.❞ She watched as he picked up the picture off of her end table, knowing exactly which one it was — a picture Rowan had once taken of Levi kissing her on New Year’s. They’d only just been dating for two months at the time. ❝You can’t stop what?  What are you talking about?❞ she asked, only just making out what it was he’d even said as she walked over to him, taking the picture from his hands and placing it right back where it belonged.

[wtholden]

I know that you’re not happy with him, he wanted to say, but he knew that would open up a completely different argument. He hadn’t come to argue with her. But it was true, wasn’t it? She wasn’t happy. Not when he came to the door and interrupted their fight and not when he’d listened to her side of a phone call to him the month before.Holden knew how Kenna was when she was really happy, and this wasn’t it. She was settling for something less. Then again, couldn’t he say the same for himself?  ❝I can’t stop thinking about you,❞ he clarified, meeting her gaze.  ❝Missing you.❞

[fckenna]

Kenna watched as Levi walked further down the hall, Holden already welcoming himself into her apartment before he’d even disappeared around the corner. Practically slamming the door shut, she wasted no time in getting straight into things. ❝No. I meant what I said. You can’t stay and you definitely shouldn’t be here.❞ She still didn’t know or even understand why he was here to see her. He hadn’t been around in months, so why now? She hated him ( not really, but she wanted to ) and she hated that he was barging back into her life again just as she was regaining some normalcy. 

[wtholden]

❝Your boyfriend seems to think he knows you better than you do, so...❞ He couldn’t help but smirk at her. The look in her eyes--a mixture of annoyance, frustration, and a hint of curiosity--was one that he never thought he would experience again. Lena was too soft-spoken and hesitant for such looks. But the way Kenna’s eyes bore into his own like she was trying to push him out with that alone energized Holden. It fueled him and reminded him why he had come in the first place. He strolled over to the living room, picking up a framed picture on the end table.  ❝I can’t stop,❞ he mumbled, keeping his eyes away from hers.  ❝I tried, but I just...❞ He shrugged, as if that should clear up what he was trying to say.