im sorry i took forever to post this. i wanted to get everything that was talked about the callout and i wanted to post it at a right time.
tw for racism, rape jokes, biphobia, and nbphobia,
firstly, my actions range from treating asian people wrong to talking on topics i have no place to talk on, to exposing minors to porn. ive countlessly talked about race hcs, like making a character racially ambiguous to make her more mysterious or using them just to look better, and tried to separate myself from being white. i inserted myself on topics about race and made countless comments about stuff like the n word, calling bindis a “little dot”. i've been nbphobic to the poster of the callout, i used slurs excessively and made people uncomfortable. i've made jokes about someones eating disorder, i made a "i'll shove my girlcock down your throat" rape joke, made lots of sexual comments and overshared frequently. there are many things that i've said and done that are inconsiderate and ignorant, and i know that all of this was very wrong of me.
secondly, i know this was all wrong because i hurt people. i know i hurt asian people because i treated them as if they werent people of color, calling hayley kiyoko white, i looked at her and asian people as if they weren't asian and i know that hurt the asian people around me. i hurt many people of color with my treatment of the topics im not supposed to be even going near. i used race hcs just for brownie points and would constantly try to make myself seem cool by calling out people on their racism even though i wouldnt know what racism is even if it was spelled out for me. i've said some nbphobic things too. im trans myself, so i very well know i hurt this person with those comments because i treated them as if they were cis and said they were a man just because they were AMAB. i've made jokes of a friend about their eating disorder, its obvious i hurt them because i just made light of a very serious thing, and made them feel bad for having something they cant control. i used the r slur a lot around someone who was uncomfortable with the slur, and used lesbophobic slurs towards someone in a joking manner when they said they were uncomfortable with it. i should’ve stopped when they told me to and apologized, and even then i shouldn’t have even thought about that stuff. making the rape joke, i know people were hurt because im making light of a very serious thing, especially since one of the people i made the joke around was a csa survivor. and i know i hurt minors when i exposed them to porn and was making dirty comments because it can lead to bad outcomes, like confusion on the topic and being uncomfortable around it. i know very well my actions hurt people and why they hurt them.
and lastly. i promise i wont do these things again. ive been confronted multiple times, i shouldnt be told that i cant do these things. i know that ive hurt people and i dont want to again. my actions were wrong and i cannot repeat them, especially since ive been told about my actions twice by many people. itd be stupid of me to apologize for such actions and then do it again. im sure ill hold myself accountable and think before my actions, whether it being about commenting on topics i dont know about, or making hcs about characters. whatever it may be, i'm going to think about if i should really say it. i know changing wont be so easy, but i am truly sorry and i must change and grow from this. one thing i'm going to do tomorrow is apologize to people i've hurt indiviually, and from there on out i'm going to focus on growing and changing from that old person. i know that people dont have to forgive me, and i know that i will not be automatically changed after this. but im going to try my best to make things right and change.
i dont control what you do with this apology, but please understand that i know what i did was wrong, and im going to try my best to grow and change from this.
blakekathryn
gracieabrams
amandla
romaincrisis
jacobvanloon
ellievsbear
yousharknotpass
